Female sexual desire

[Anonymous]

They secret is finding a woman with a good number of close female friends and family ( around 5 solid relationships with other women). These people will do most of the emotional lifting for you.

Women need lots of emotional support, and men cannot supply the bulk of it. They just cannot wrap their heads around just how much support women need.

Don't go for the girl who does not have very close girlfriends. You can never fulfill that role the way a female bestfriend can. Women hype each other up all the time. They comment on nice shoes, dresses, 2 pounds lost, nice make up, hair up, hair down, different shade lipstick, nails, etc. Men do not even notice all the details.

If you marry a woman who has only you as a close friend, you've lost.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sexually active husband of 24 years here. I kinda saw and heard about the post marriage/kids sex dought. This is what I did that seemed to help:

1. Before we got married we both read and talked about the book His Needs/Her Needs. This made it clear from the beginning the things she needed to not build resentment. I remindeded myself regularly of the things I had to do to meet her needs and did my best to stay on top of them. She did the same for me. Resentment was still built up over libido mismatch (in both directions).

There is literally nothing you can do to prevent a woman from feeling "resentment" because it is not the product of anything you do (or do not do) it is the product of her own neurotic distress and mental disorder.

💯 you hit the nail on the head ! Couldn’t have said it any better myself

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think my husband has a lot of responsibility for how I feel about my body. He is literally the only person who sees me naked and the only person who can make explicit sexual comments about my body.
If DH wasn’t constantly telling me that he likes my body, that he wants to see me wearing xyz, and that he likes one body part or another, then all of my thoughts about my body would be from inside my own head or from my mom. And those are both terrible.

You really need to work on that voice in your head.

I’m okay, really. Terrible was probably a strong word to use. But the reality is that I’m an overweight middle aged mom. I’m not winning any beauty pageants.

It’s just that DH tells me something that he finds attractive about me pretty much every time I see him, so multiple times a day. If I’m going to the gym, he will tell me that he likes my hair in a ponytail so my neck is exposed. If I’m getting home from the gym, he will say that I look good all flushed like that. If I’m in taking the kids to the pool in my middle aged mom tankini, he will say that my butt looks good. If I go in my high waisted bikini, he will wolf whistle and ask if I need help putting sunscreen on. Like touching the torso of his wife of twenty years is super hot and somewhat forbidden.

You might say that men can’t help their wives with body image issues, but they definitely can.

I think I will be single for the foreseeable future if that's the bare minimum we need to do as men. Seriously why do you need me to keep telling you you are still beautiful and multiple times a day. Hey good for you though. Are all married men like this? Wow

I don't need you to TELL me. I need you to believe it, live it, show it. If you don't believe it, can't live it, can't even pretend it for show... yes, good idea on staying single.

And I can't say about all married men. I CAN say that once I found one, I stopped looking.

Np. Very hard for me to “believe” or “pretend” you are “beautiful” when you are fat.

[Anonymous]

Here's the problem, right here.

Instead of a playful "challenge accepted" and someone who loves her taking the time and effort to help her figure this out, you suggest he just go slip into something that will orgasm on demand?

You and your whole mentality are the issue.

No, a woman is in charge of her body, and she should understand and be comfortable with what she needs to orgasm. Together, she and her partner should explore and find what they both enjoy.

However, the women who enjoy it the most have already learned (often through solo practice) how their body works.

Taking time and effort to help her figure out her body is fine in your late teens/early 20s. By the time you are posting on a parent forum, you should understand what is going on with you better than you did at 18.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think my husband has a lot of responsibility for how I feel about my body. He is literally the only person who sees me naked and the only person who can make explicit sexual comments about my body.
If DH wasn’t constantly telling me that he likes my body, that he wants to see me wearing xyz, and that he likes one body part or another, then all of my thoughts about my body would be from inside my own head or from my mom. And those are both terrible.

You really need to work on that voice in your head.

I’m okay, really. Terrible was probably a strong word to use. But the reality is that I’m an overweight middle aged mom. I’m not winning any beauty pageants.

It’s just that DH tells me something that he finds attractive about me pretty much every time I see him, so multiple times a day. If I’m going to the gym, he will tell me that he likes my hair in a ponytail so my neck is exposed. If I’m getting home from the gym, he will say that I look good all flushed like that. If I’m in taking the kids to the pool in my middle aged mom tankini, he will say that my butt looks good. If I go in my high waisted bikini, he will wolf whistle and ask if I need help putting sunscreen on. Like touching the torso of his wife of twenty years is super hot and somewhat forbidden.

You might say that men can’t help their wives with body image issues, but they definitely can.

I think I will be single for the foreseeable future if that's the bare minimum we need to do as men. Seriously why do you need me to keep telling you you are still beautiful and multiple times a day. Hey good for you though. Are all married men like this? Wow

I don't need you to TELL me. I need you to believe it, live it, show it. If you don't believe it, can't live it, can't even pretend it for show... yes, good idea on staying single.

And I can't say about all married men. I CAN say that once I found one, I stopped looking.

Np. Very hard for me to “believe” or “pretend” you are “beautiful” when you are fat.

DP.

So you don't believe she is beautiful, and she does not want to have sex with you, I'd say it is fair. No complaining about her sex drive then, no?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Women sure do love to complain about men, but they say little about how much they feed of the male's energy. It's not by accident that works will give me chance after chance. We need each other.

Yup keep bashing men without realizing how inconvenient their lives will be without men. They don’t even realize that the devices they are using to post crap about men, were created mostly by men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Here's the problem, right here.

Instead of a playful "challenge accepted" and someone who loves her taking the time and effort to help her figure this out, you suggest he just go slip into something that will orgasm on demand?

You and your whole mentality are the issue.

No, a woman is in charge of her body, and she should understand and be comfortable with what she needs to orgasm. Together, she and her partner should explore and find what they both enjoy.

However, the women who enjoy it the most have already learned (often through solo practice) how their body works.

Taking time and effort to help her figure out her body is fine in your late teens/early 20s. By the time you are posting on a parent forum, you should understand what is going on with you better than you did at 18.

So what are your options? You already married her, sexual insecurities/ ignorance and all. You are just going to divorce and find someone else instead of trying to work with what you got?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women sure do love to complain about men, but they say little about how much they feed of the male's energy. It's not by accident that works will give me chance after chance. We need each other.

Yup keep bashing men without realizing how inconvenient their lives will be without men. They don’t even realize that the devices they are using to post crap about men, were created mostly by men.

Awww. Men are so smart! Go create women and then you don't have to worry about these men bashing women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think my husband has a lot of responsibility for how I feel about my body. He is literally the only person who sees me naked and the only person who can make explicit sexual comments about my body.
If DH wasn’t constantly telling me that he likes my body, that he wants to see me wearing xyz, and that he likes one body part or another, then all of my thoughts about my body would be from inside my own head or from my mom. And those are both terrible.

You really need to work on that voice in your head.

I’m okay, really. Terrible was probably a strong word to use. But the reality is that I’m an overweight middle aged mom. I’m not winning any beauty pageants.

It’s just that DH tells me something that he finds attractive about me pretty much every time I see him, so multiple times a day. If I’m going to the gym, he will tell me that he likes my hair in a ponytail so my neck is exposed. If I’m getting home from the gym, he will say that I look good all flushed like that. If I’m in taking the kids to the pool in my middle aged mom tankini, he will say that my butt looks good. If I go in my high waisted bikini, he will wolf whistle and ask if I need help putting sunscreen on. Like touching the torso of his wife of twenty years is super hot and somewhat forbidden.

You might say that men can’t help their wives with body image issues, but they definitely can.

I think I will be single for the foreseeable future if that's the bare minimum we need to do as men. Seriously why do you need me to keep telling you you are still beautiful and multiple times a day. Hey good for you though. Are all married men like this? Wow

I don't need you to TELL me. I need you to believe it, live it, show it. If you don't believe it, can't live it, can't even pretend it for show... yes, good idea on staying single.

And I can't say about all married men. I CAN say that once I found one, I stopped looking.

Np. Very hard for me to “believe” or “pretend” you are “beautiful” when you are fat.

And yet, you want to have sex with her, i.e. you desire her - so make her feel desired? We don’t want to be lied to, that’s the point. But there’s something you like, so let her know what it is. If it’s really just the warm hole, do us all a favor and just get a doll.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think my husband has a lot of responsibility for how I feel about my body. He is literally the only person who sees me naked and the only person who can make explicit sexual comments about my body.
If DH wasn’t constantly telling me that he likes my body, that he wants to see me wearing xyz, and that he likes one body part or another, then all of my thoughts about my body would be from inside my own head or from my mom. And those are both terrible.

You really need to work on that voice in your head.

I’m okay, really. Terrible was probably a strong word to use. But the reality is that I’m an overweight middle aged mom. I’m not winning any beauty pageants.

It’s just that DH tells me something that he finds attractive about me pretty much every time I see him, so multiple times a day. If I’m going to the gym, he will tell me that he likes my hair in a ponytail so my neck is exposed. If I’m getting home from the gym, he will say that I look good all flushed like that. If I’m in taking the kids to the pool in my middle aged mom tankini, he will say that my butt looks good. If I go in my high waisted bikini, he will wolf whistle and ask if I need help putting sunscreen on. Like touching the torso of his wife of twenty years is super hot and somewhat forbidden.

You might say that men can’t help their wives with body image issues, but they definitely can.

I think I will be single for the foreseeable future if that's the bare minimum we need to do as men. Seriously why do you need me to keep telling you you are still beautiful and multiple times a day. Hey good for you though. Are all married men like this? Wow

I don't need you to TELL me. I need you to believe it, live it, show it. If you don't believe it, can't live it, can't even pretend it for show... yes, good idea on staying single.

And I can't say about all married men. I CAN say that once I found one, I stopped looking.

Np. Very hard for me to “believe” or “pretend” you are “beautiful” when you are fat.

DP.

So you don't believe she is beautiful, and she does not want to have sex with you, I'd say it is fair. No complaining about her sex drive then, no?

No it’s not fair when kids are involved. Its not fair to upend the lives of innocent kids when you cannot figure out how to fix your mental issues and somehow believe a husband is supposed to find his fat wife as attractive. If i was fat I wouldn’t expect my wife to find me attractive nor tell me how handsome I look

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think my husband has a lot of responsibility for how I feel about my body. He is literally the only person who sees me naked and the only person who can make explicit sexual comments about my body.
If DH wasn’t constantly telling me that he likes my body, that he wants to see me wearing xyz, and that he likes one body part or another, then all of my thoughts about my body would be from inside my own head or from my mom. And those are both terrible.

You really need to work on that voice in your head.

I’m okay, really. Terrible was probably a strong word to use. But the reality is that I’m an overweight middle aged mom. I’m not winning any beauty pageants.

It’s just that DH tells me something that he finds attractive about me pretty much every time I see him, so multiple times a day. If I’m going to the gym, he will tell me that he likes my hair in a ponytail so my neck is exposed. If I’m getting home from the gym, he will say that I look good all flushed like that. If I’m in taking the kids to the pool in my middle aged mom tankini, he will say that my butt looks good. If I go in my high waisted bikini, he will wolf whistle and ask if I need help putting sunscreen on. Like touching the torso of his wife of twenty years is super hot and somewhat forbidden.

You might say that men can’t help their wives with body image issues, but they definitely can.

I think I will be single for the foreseeable future if that's the bare minimum we need to do as men. Seriously why do you need me to keep telling you you are still beautiful and multiple times a day. Hey good for you though. Are all married men like this? Wow

I don't need you to TELL me. I need you to believe it, live it, show it. If you don't believe it, can't live it, can't even pretend it for show... yes, good idea on staying single.

And I can't say about all married men. I CAN say that once I found one, I stopped looking.

Np. Very hard for me to “believe” or “pretend” you are “beautiful” when you are fat.

DP.

So you don't believe she is beautiful, and she does not want to have sex with you, I'd say it is fair. No complaining about her sex drive then, no?

No it’s not fair when kids are involved. Its not fair to upend the lives of innocent kids when you cannot figure out how to fix your mental issues and somehow believe a husband is supposed to find his fat wife as attractive. If i was fat I wouldn’t expect my wife to find me attractive nor tell me how handsome I look

Interesting.

So it's not fair to the kids that a woman does not want to lose weight.

But it's fair to them that you are not willing to pretend that she is attractive but at the same time you want to walk away from the marriage if she does not want to have sex with you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women sure do love to complain about men, but they say little about how much they feed of the male's energy. It's not by accident that works will give me chance after chance. We need each other.

Yup keep bashing men without realizing how inconvenient their lives will be without men. They don’t even realize that the devices they are using to post crap about men, were created mostly by men.

Awww. Men are so smart! Go create women and then you don't have to worry about these men bashing women.

Yes men are smart as well as some women. Your second statement makes no sense. We were all created by God

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women sure do love to complain about men, but they say little about how much they feed of the male's energy. It's not by accident that works will give me chance after chance. We need each other.

Yup keep bashing men without realizing how inconvenient their lives will be without men. They don’t even realize that the devices they are using to post crap about men, were created mostly by men.

Awww. Men are so smart! Go create women and then you don't have to worry about these men bashing women.

Yes men are smart as well as some women. Your second statement makes no sense. We were all created by God

Men want sex. If they were so smart, they'd figure out how to get sex from their wives without all this whining.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think my husband has a lot of responsibility for how I feel about my body. He is literally the only person who sees me naked and the only person who can make explicit sexual comments about my body.
If DH wasn’t constantly telling me that he likes my body, that he wants to see me wearing xyz, and that he likes one body part or another, then all of my thoughts about my body would be from inside my own head or from my mom. And those are both terrible.

You really need to work on that voice in your head.

I’m okay, really. Terrible was probably a strong word to use. But the reality is that I’m an overweight middle aged mom. I’m not winning any beauty pageants.

It’s just that DH tells me something that he finds attractive about me pretty much every time I see him, so multiple times a day. If I’m going to the gym, he will tell me that he likes my hair in a ponytail so my neck is exposed. If I’m getting home from the gym, he will say that I look good all flushed like that. If I’m in taking the kids to the pool in my middle aged mom tankini, he will say that my butt looks good. If I go in my high waisted bikini, he will wolf whistle and ask if I need help putting sunscreen on. Like touching the torso of his wife of twenty years is super hot and somewhat forbidden.

You might say that men can’t help their wives with body image issues, but they definitely can.

I think I will be single for the foreseeable future if that's the bare minimum we need to do as men. Seriously why do you need me to keep telling you you are still beautiful and multiple times a day. Hey good for you though. Are all married men like this? Wow

I don't need you to TELL me. I need you to believe it, live it, show it. If you don't believe it, can't live it, can't even pretend it for show... yes, good idea on staying single.

And I can't say about all married men. I CAN say that once I found one, I stopped looking.

Np. Very hard for me to “believe” or “pretend” you are “beautiful” when you are fat.

And yet, you want to have sex with her, i.e. you desire her - so make her feel desired? We don’t want to be lied to, that’s the point. But there’s something you like, so let her know what it is. If it’s really just the warm hole, do us all a favor and just get a doll.

Just because a husband wants to have sex with his wife, doesn’t mean that he finds her desirable. When you are married, you have no choice but to have sex with your spouse only.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think my husband has a lot of responsibility for how I feel about my body. He is literally the only person who sees me naked and the only person who can make explicit sexual comments about my body.
If DH wasn’t constantly telling me that he likes my body, that he wants to see me wearing xyz, and that he likes one body part or another, then all of my thoughts about my body would be from inside my own head or from my mom. And those are both terrible.

You really need to work on that voice in your head.

I’m okay, really. Terrible was probably a strong word to use. But the reality is that I’m an overweight middle aged mom. I’m not winning any beauty pageants.

It’s just that DH tells me something that he finds attractive about me pretty much every time I see him, so multiple times a day. If I’m going to the gym, he will tell me that he likes my hair in a ponytail so my neck is exposed. If I’m getting home from the gym, he will say that I look good all flushed like that. If I’m in taking the kids to the pool in my middle aged mom tankini, he will say that my butt looks good. If I go in my high waisted bikini, he will wolf whistle and ask if I need help putting sunscreen on. Like touching the torso of his wife of twenty years is super hot and somewhat forbidden.

You might say that men can’t help their wives with body image issues, but they definitely can.

I think I will be single for the foreseeable future if that's the bare minimum we need to do as men. Seriously why do you need me to keep telling you you are still beautiful and multiple times a day. Hey good for you though. Are all married men like this? Wow

I don't need you to TELL me. I need you to believe it, live it, show it. If you don't believe it, can't live it, can't even pretend it for show... yes, good idea on staying single.

And I can't say about all married men. I CAN say that once I found one, I stopped looking.

Np. Very hard for me to “believe” or “pretend” you are “beautiful” when you are fat.

And yet, you want to have sex with her, i.e. you desire her - so make her feel desired? We don’t want to be lied to, that’s the point. But there’s something you like, so let her know what it is. If it’s really just the warm hole, do us all a favor and just get a doll.

Just because a husband wants to have sex with his wife, doesn’t mean that he finds her desirable. When you are married, you have no choice but to have sex with your spouse only.

You seem confused. “wanting to have sex with” someone is the same thing as “desiring [to have sex with]” them. Your comment makes no sense.

When women stop desiring their DH, they often just stop having sex. But also, women stop desiring their DH because it’s obvious their DH does not desire them anymore based on his complete lack of effort and inability to see her as a woman.