Female sexual desire

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think my husband has a lot of responsibility for how I feel about my body. He is literally the only person who sees me naked and the only person who can make explicit sexual comments about my body.
If DH wasn’t constantly telling me that he likes my body, that he wants to see me wearing xyz, and that he likes one body part or another, then all of my thoughts about my body would be from inside my own head or from my mom. And those are both terrible.

You really need to work on that voice in your head.

I’m okay, really. Terrible was probably a strong word to use. But the reality is that I’m an overweight middle aged mom. I’m not winning any beauty pageants.

It’s just that DH tells me something that he finds attractive about me pretty much every time I see him, so multiple times a day. If I’m going to the gym, he will tell me that he likes my hair in a ponytail so my neck is exposed. If I’m getting home from the gym, he will say that I look good all flushed like that. If I’m in taking the kids to the pool in my middle aged mom tankini, he will say that my butt looks good. If I go in my high waisted bikini, he will wolf whistle and ask if I need help putting sunscreen on. Like touching the torso of his wife of twenty years is super hot and somewhat forbidden.

You might say that men can’t help their wives with body image issues, but they definitely can.

I think I will be single for the foreseeable future if that's the bare minimum we need to do as men. Seriously why do you need me to keep telling you you are still beautiful and multiple times a day. Hey good for you though. Are all married men like this? Wow

I don't need you to TELL me. I need you to believe it, live it, show it. If you don't believe it, can't live it, can't even pretend it for show... yes, good idea on staying single.

And I can't say about all married men. I CAN say that once I found one, I stopped looking.

Np. Very hard for me to “believe” or “pretend” you are “beautiful” when you are fat.

And yet, you want to have sex with her, i.e. you desire her - so make her feel desired? We don’t want to be lied to, that’s the point. But there’s something you like, so let her know what it is. If it’s really just the warm hole, do us all a favor and just get a doll.

Just because a husband wants to have sex with his wife, doesn’t mean that he finds her desirable. When you are married, you have no choice but to have sex with your spouse only.

And if you don't have sex, you die?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think my husband has a lot of responsibility for how I feel about my body. He is literally the only person who sees me naked and the only person who can make explicit sexual comments about my body.
If DH wasn’t constantly telling me that he likes my body, that he wants to see me wearing xyz, and that he likes one body part or another, then all of my thoughts about my body would be from inside my own head or from my mom. And those are both terrible.

You really need to work on that voice in your head.

I’m okay, really. Terrible was probably a strong word to use. But the reality is that I’m an overweight middle aged mom. I’m not winning any beauty pageants.

It’s just that DH tells me something that he finds attractive about me pretty much every time I see him, so multiple times a day. If I’m going to the gym, he will tell me that he likes my hair in a ponytail so my neck is exposed. If I’m getting home from the gym, he will say that I look good all flushed like that. If I’m in taking the kids to the pool in my middle aged mom tankini, he will say that my butt looks good. If I go in my high waisted bikini, he will wolf whistle and ask if I need help putting sunscreen on. Like touching the torso of his wife of twenty years is super hot and somewhat forbidden.

You might say that men can’t help their wives with body image issues, but they definitely can.

I think I will be single for the foreseeable future if that's the bare minimum we need to do as men. Seriously why do you need me to keep telling you you are still beautiful and multiple times a day. Hey good for you though. Are all married men like this? Wow

I don't need you to TELL me. I need you to believe it, live it, show it. If you don't believe it, can't live it, can't even pretend it for show... yes, good idea on staying single.

And I can't say about all married men. I CAN say that once I found one, I stopped looking.

Np. Very hard for me to “believe” or “pretend” you are “beautiful” when you are fat.

DP.

So you don't believe she is beautiful, and she does not want to have sex with you, I'd say it is fair. No complaining about her sex drive then, no?

No it’s not fair when kids are involved. Its not fair to upend the lives of innocent kids when you cannot figure out how to fix your mental issues and somehow believe a husband is supposed to find his fat wife as attractive. If i was fat I wouldn’t expect my wife to find me attractive nor tell me how handsome I look

Interesting.

So it's not fair to the kids that a woman does not want to lose weight.

But it's fair to them that you are not willing to pretend that she is attractive but at the same time you want to walk away from the marriage if she does not want to have sex with you?

Yes because sex is an essential part of marriage along with other things. It is not possible for a healthy normal libido man to be celibate long term

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think my husband has a lot of responsibility for how I feel about my body. He is literally the only person who sees me naked and the only person who can make explicit sexual comments about my body.
If DH wasn’t constantly telling me that he likes my body, that he wants to see me wearing xyz, and that he likes one body part or another, then all of my thoughts about my body would be from inside my own head or from my mom. And those are both terrible.

You really need to work on that voice in your head.

I’m okay, really. Terrible was probably a strong word to use. But the reality is that I’m an overweight middle aged mom. I’m not winning any beauty pageants.

It’s just that DH tells me something that he finds attractive about me pretty much every time I see him, so multiple times a day. If I’m going to the gym, he will tell me that he likes my hair in a ponytail so my neck is exposed. If I’m getting home from the gym, he will say that I look good all flushed like that. If I’m in taking the kids to the pool in my middle aged mom tankini, he will say that my butt looks good. If I go in my high waisted bikini, he will wolf whistle and ask if I need help putting sunscreen on. Like touching the torso of his wife of twenty years is super hot and somewhat forbidden.

You might say that men can’t help their wives with body image issues, but they definitely can.

I think I will be single for the foreseeable future if that's the bare minimum we need to do as men. Seriously why do you need me to keep telling you you are still beautiful and multiple times a day. Hey good for you though. Are all married men like this? Wow

I don't need you to TELL me. I need you to believe it, live it, show it. If you don't believe it, can't live it, can't even pretend it for show... yes, good idea on staying single.

And I can't say about all married men. I CAN say that once I found one, I stopped looking.

Np. Very hard for me to “believe” or “pretend” you are “beautiful” when you are fat.

DP.

So you don't believe she is beautiful, and she does not want to have sex with you, I'd say it is fair. No complaining about her sex drive then, no?

No it’s not fair when kids are involved. Its not fair to upend the lives of innocent kids when you cannot figure out how to fix your mental issues and somehow believe a husband is supposed to find his fat wife as attractive. If i was fat I wouldn’t expect my wife to find me attractive nor tell me how handsome I look

Interesting.

So it's not fair to the kids that a woman does not want to lose weight.

But it's fair to them that you are not willing to pretend that she is attractive but at the same time you want to walk away from the marriage if she does not want to have sex with you?

Yes because sex is an essential part of marriage along with other things. It is not possible for a healthy normal libido man to be celibate long term

So sex is essential, but you are not willing to do what needs to be done to make it happen. But it's the woman's fault and not yours?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women sure do love to complain about men, but they say little about how much they feed of the male's energy. It's not by accident that works will give me chance after chance. We need each other.

Yup keep bashing men without realizing how inconvenient their lives will be without men. They don’t even realize that the devices they are using to post crap about men, were created mostly by men.

Awww. Men are so smart! Go create women and then you don't have to worry about these men bashing women.

Yes men are smart as well as some women. Your second statement makes no sense. We were all created by God

Men want sex. If they were so smart, they'd figure out how to get sex from their wives without all this whining.

When the issue is in a woman’s head, she needs to figure out how to fix it, perhaps with the help of a therapist

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think my husband has a lot of responsibility for how I feel about my body. He is literally the only person who sees me naked and the only person who can make explicit sexual comments about my body.
If DH wasn’t constantly telling me that he likes my body, that he wants to see me wearing xyz, and that he likes one body part or another, then all of my thoughts about my body would be from inside my own head or from my mom. And those are both terrible.

You really need to work on that voice in your head.

I’m okay, really. Terrible was probably a strong word to use. But the reality is that I’m an overweight middle aged mom. I’m not winning any beauty pageants.

It’s just that DH tells me something that he finds attractive about me pretty much every time I see him, so multiple times a day. If I’m going to the gym, he will tell me that he likes my hair in a ponytail so my neck is exposed. If I’m getting home from the gym, he will say that I look good all flushed like that. If I’m in taking the kids to the pool in my middle aged mom tankini, he will say that my butt looks good. If I go in my high waisted bikini, he will wolf whistle and ask if I need help putting sunscreen on. Like touching the torso of his wife of twenty years is super hot and somewhat forbidden.

You might say that men can’t help their wives with body image issues, but they definitely can.

I think I will be single for the foreseeable future if that's the bare minimum we need to do as men. Seriously why do you need me to keep telling you you are still beautiful and multiple times a day. Hey good for you though. Are all married men like this? Wow

The ones who regularly get laid are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women sure do love to complain about men, but they say little about how much they feed of the male's energy. It's not by accident that works will give me chance after chance. We need each other.

Yup keep bashing men without realizing how inconvenient their lives will be without men. They don’t even realize that the devices they are using to post crap about men, were created mostly by men.

Awww. Men are so smart! Go create women and then you don't have to worry about these men bashing women.

Yes men are smart as well as some women. Your second statement makes no sense. We were all created by God

Men want sex. If they were so smart, they'd figure out how to get sex from their wives without all this whining.

When the issue is in a woman’s head, she needs to figure out how to fix it, perhaps with the help of a therapist

Why does she? She is comfortable without having sex. If her husband is unwilling to give her what she needs emotionally, why should she waste her time on therapy because he needs sex?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women sure do love to complain about men, but they say little about how much they feed of the male's energy. It's not by accident that works will give me chance after chance. We need each other.

Yup keep bashing men without realizing how inconvenient their lives will be without men. They don’t even realize that the devices they are using to post crap about men, were created mostly by men.

Awww. Men are so smart! Go create women and then you don't have to worry about these men bashing women.

Yes men are smart as well as some women. Your second statement makes no sense. We were all created by God

Men want sex. If they were so smart, they'd figure out how to get sex from their wives without all this whining.

Exactly. The desperation and fixation on sex coupled with the utter entitlement of "I shouldnt lift a finger to get it!" are why so many men arent getting laid. They are the creators of their own misery. literally no one wants to deal with them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women sure do love to complain about men, but they say little about how much they feed of the male's energy. It's not by accident that works will give me chance after chance. We need each other.

Yup keep bashing men without realizing how inconvenient their lives will be without men. They don’t even realize that the devices they are using to post crap about men, were created mostly by men.

Awww. Men are so smart! Go create women and then you don't have to worry about these men bashing women.

Yes men are smart as well as some women. Your second statement makes no sense. We were all created by God

Men want sex. If they were so smart, they'd figure out how to get sex from their wives without all this whining.

When the issue is in a woman’s head, she needs to figure out how to fix it, perhaps with the help of a therapist

Or maybe with the help of a lover that actually gives a rats ass about their pleasure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think my husband has a lot of responsibility for how I feel about my body. He is literally the only person who sees me naked and the only person who can make explicit sexual comments about my body.
If DH wasn’t constantly telling me that he likes my body, that he wants to see me wearing xyz, and that he likes one body part or another, then all of my thoughts about my body would be from inside my own head or from my mom. And those are both terrible.

You really need to work on that voice in your head.

I’m okay, really. Terrible was probably a strong word to use. But the reality is that I’m an overweight middle aged mom. I’m not winning any beauty pageants.

It’s just that DH tells me something that he finds attractive about me pretty much every time I see him, so multiple times a day. If I’m going to the gym, he will tell me that he likes my hair in a ponytail so my neck is exposed. If I’m getting home from the gym, he will say that I look good all flushed like that. If I’m in taking the kids to the pool in my middle aged mom tankini, he will say that my butt looks good. If I go in my high waisted bikini, he will wolf whistle and ask if I need help putting sunscreen on. Like touching the torso of his wife of twenty years is super hot and somewhat forbidden.

You might say that men can’t help their wives with body image issues, but they definitely can.

I think I will be single for the foreseeable future if that's the bare minimum we need to do as men. Seriously why do you need me to keep telling you you are still beautiful and multiple times a day. Hey good for you though. Are all married men like this? Wow

The ones who regularly get laid are.

Meh.

I do not know any woman who needs this much attention from their husband.

I am mostly close to first and second generation American women though so maybe there is something in the water here.

Recent immigrants have accepted that men and women are not the same. They rely on their social network for a lot of support. They rely on men for some but not anything near as much as this thread is indicating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think my husband has a lot of responsibility for how I feel about my body. He is literally the only person who sees me naked and the only person who can make explicit sexual comments about my body.
If DH wasn’t constantly telling me that he likes my body, that he wants to see me wearing xyz, and that he likes one body part or another, then all of my thoughts about my body would be from inside my own head or from my mom. And those are both terrible.

You really need to work on that voice in your head.

I’m okay, really. Terrible was probably a strong word to use. But the reality is that I’m an overweight middle aged mom. I’m not winning any beauty pageants.

It’s just that DH tells me something that he finds attractive about me pretty much every time I see him, so multiple times a day. If I’m going to the gym, he will tell me that he likes my hair in a ponytail so my neck is exposed. If I’m getting home from the gym, he will say that I look good all flushed like that. If I’m in taking the kids to the pool in my middle aged mom tankini, he will say that my butt looks good. If I go in my high waisted bikini, he will wolf whistle and ask if I need help putting sunscreen on. Like touching the torso of his wife of twenty years is super hot and somewhat forbidden.

You might say that men can’t help their wives with body image issues, but they definitely can.

I think I will be single for the foreseeable future if that's the bare minimum we need to do as men. Seriously why do you need me to keep telling you you are still beautiful and multiple times a day. Hey good for you though. Are all married men like this? Wow

I don't need you to TELL me. I need you to believe it, live it, show it. If you don't believe it, can't live it, can't even pretend it for show... yes, good idea on staying single.

And I can't say about all married men. I CAN say that once I found one, I stopped looking.

Np. Very hard for me to “believe” or “pretend” you are “beautiful” when you are fat.

And yet, you want to have sex with her, i.e. you desire her - so make her feel desired? We don’t want to be lied to, that’s the point. But there’s something you like, so let her know what it is. If it’s really just the warm hole, do us all a favor and just get a doll.

Just because a husband wants to have sex with his wife, doesn’t mean that he finds her desirable. When you are married, you have no choice but to have sex with your spouse only.

You seem confused. “wanting to have sex with” someone is the same thing as “desiring [to have sex with]” them. Your comment makes no sense.

When women stop desiring their DH, they often just stop having sex. But also, women stop desiring their DH because it’s obvious their DH does not desire them anymore based on his complete lack of effort and inability to see her as a woman.

You are the one who was connecting desire with “want”. I clearly said its not the same. You are confused.

I agree with the bolded and it is true sometimes. And sometimes its just the woman’s perception that her husband does not see her as a complete woman.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think my husband has a lot of responsibility for how I feel about my body. He is literally the only person who sees me naked and the only person who can make explicit sexual comments about my body.
If DH wasn’t constantly telling me that he likes my body, that he wants to see me wearing xyz, and that he likes one body part or another, then all of my thoughts about my body would be from inside my own head or from my mom. And those are both terrible.

You really need to work on that voice in your head.

I’m okay, really. Terrible was probably a strong word to use. But the reality is that I’m an overweight middle aged mom. I’m not winning any beauty pageants.

It’s just that DH tells me something that he finds attractive about me pretty much every time I see him, so multiple times a day. If I’m going to the gym, he will tell me that he likes my hair in a ponytail so my neck is exposed. If I’m getting home from the gym, he will say that I look good all flushed like that. If I’m in taking the kids to the pool in my middle aged mom tankini, he will say that my butt looks good. If I go in my high waisted bikini, he will wolf whistle and ask if I need help putting sunscreen on. Like touching the torso of his wife of twenty years is super hot and somewhat forbidden.

You might say that men can’t help their wives with body image issues, but they definitely can.

I think I will be single for the foreseeable future if that's the bare minimum we need to do as men. Seriously why do you need me to keep telling you you are still beautiful and multiple times a day. Hey good for you though. Are all married men like this? Wow

I don't need you to TELL me. I need you to believe it, live it, show it. If you don't believe it, can't live it, can't even pretend it for show... yes, good idea on staying single.

And I can't say about all married men. I CAN say that once I found one, I stopped looking.

Np. Very hard for me to “believe” or “pretend” you are “beautiful” when you are fat.

And yet, you want to have sex with her, i.e. you desire her - so make her feel desired? We don’t want to be lied to, that’s the point. But there’s something you like, so let her know what it is. If it’s really just the warm hole, do us all a favor and just get a doll.

Just because a husband wants to have sex with his wife, doesn’t mean that he finds her desirable. When you are married, you have no choice but to have sex with your spouse only.

And if you don't have sex, you die?

No you dont die, but its an essential part of marriage along other things for healthy people with normal libido

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think my husband has a lot of responsibility for how I feel about my body. He is literally the only person who sees me naked and the only person who can make explicit sexual comments about my body.
If DH wasn’t constantly telling me that he likes my body, that he wants to see me wearing xyz, and that he likes one body part or another, then all of my thoughts about my body would be from inside my own head or from my mom. And those are both terrible.

You really need to work on that voice in your head.

I’m okay, really. Terrible was probably a strong word to use. But the reality is that I’m an overweight middle aged mom. I’m not winning any beauty pageants.

It’s just that DH tells me something that he finds attractive about me pretty much every time I see him, so multiple times a day. If I’m going to the gym, he will tell me that he likes my hair in a ponytail so my neck is exposed. If I’m getting home from the gym, he will say that I look good all flushed like that. If I’m in taking the kids to the pool in my middle aged mom tankini, he will say that my butt looks good. If I go in my high waisted bikini, he will wolf whistle and ask if I need help putting sunscreen on. Like touching the torso of his wife of twenty years is super hot and somewhat forbidden.

You might say that men can’t help their wives with body image issues, but they definitely can.

I think I will be single for the foreseeable future if that's the bare minimum we need to do as men. Seriously why do you need me to keep telling you you are still beautiful and multiple times a day. Hey good for you though. Are all married men like this? Wow

The ones who regularly get laid are.

Meh.

I do not know any woman who needs this much attention from their husband.

I am mostly close to first and second generation American women though so maybe there is something in the water here.

Recent immigrants have accepted that men and women are not the same. They rely on their social network for a lot of support. They rely on men for some but not anything near as much as this thread is indicating.

I certainly do. And unless these women are sleeping with their girlfriends, its doubtful theyre getting their fill of sexual desire from them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think my husband has a lot of responsibility for how I feel about my body. He is literally the only person who sees me naked and the only person who can make explicit sexual comments about my body.
If DH wasn’t constantly telling me that he likes my body, that he wants to see me wearing xyz, and that he likes one body part or another, then all of my thoughts about my body would be from inside my own head or from my mom. And those are both terrible.

You really need to work on that voice in your head.

I’m okay, really. Terrible was probably a strong word to use. But the reality is that I’m an overweight middle aged mom. I’m not winning any beauty pageants.

It’s just that DH tells me something that he finds attractive about me pretty much every time I see him, so multiple times a day. If I’m going to the gym, he will tell me that he likes my hair in a ponytail so my neck is exposed. If I’m getting home from the gym, he will say that I look good all flushed like that. If I’m in taking the kids to the pool in my middle aged mom tankini, he will say that my butt looks good. If I go in my high waisted bikini, he will wolf whistle and ask if I need help putting sunscreen on. Like touching the torso of his wife of twenty years is super hot and somewhat forbidden.

You might say that men can’t help their wives with body image issues, but they definitely can.

I think I will be single for the foreseeable future if that's the bare minimum we need to do as men. Seriously why do you need me to keep telling you you are still beautiful and multiple times a day. Hey good for you though. Are all married men like this? Wow

I don't need you to TELL me. I need you to believe it, live it, show it. If you don't believe it, can't live it, can't even pretend it for show... yes, good idea on staying single.

And I can't say about all married men. I CAN say that once I found one, I stopped looking.

Np. Very hard for me to “believe” or “pretend” you are “beautiful” when you are fat.

And yet, you want to have sex with her, i.e. you desire her - so make her feel desired? We don’t want to be lied to, that’s the point. But there’s something you like, so let her know what it is. If it’s really just the warm hole, do us all a favor and just get a doll.

Just because a husband wants to have sex with his wife, doesn’t mean that he finds her desirable. When you are married, you have no choice but to have sex with your spouse only.

And if you don't have sex, you die?

No you dont die, but its an essential part of marriage along other things for healthy people with normal libido

Good. Then doing everything you can to make her want it too is essential. You chose a woman with a fragile ego. Now stroke that ego and get what you need.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think my husband has a lot of responsibility for how I feel about my body. He is literally the only person who sees me naked and the only person who can make explicit sexual comments about my body.
If DH wasn’t constantly telling me that he likes my body, that he wants to see me wearing xyz, and that he likes one body part or another, then all of my thoughts about my body would be from inside my own head or from my mom. And those are both terrible.

You really need to work on that voice in your head.

I’m okay, really. Terrible was probably a strong word to use. But the reality is that I’m an overweight middle aged mom. I’m not winning any beauty pageants.

It’s just that DH tells me something that he finds attractive about me pretty much every time I see him, so multiple times a day. If I’m going to the gym, he will tell me that he likes my hair in a ponytail so my neck is exposed. If I’m getting home from the gym, he will say that I look good all flushed like that. If I’m in taking the kids to the pool in my middle aged mom tankini, he will say that my butt looks good. If I go in my high waisted bikini, he will wolf whistle and ask if I need help putting sunscreen on. Like touching the torso of his wife of twenty years is super hot and somewhat forbidden.

You might say that men can’t help their wives with body image issues, but they definitely can.

I think I will be single for the foreseeable future if that's the bare minimum we need to do as men. Seriously why do you need me to keep telling you you are still beautiful and multiple times a day. Hey good for you though. Are all married men like this? Wow

The ones who regularly get laid are.

Meh.

I do not know any woman who needs this much attention from their husband.

I am mostly close to first and second generation American women though so maybe there is something in the water here.

Recent immigrants have accepted that men and women are not the same. They rely on their social network for a lot of support. They rely on men for some but not anything near as much as this thread is indicating.

I certainly do. And unless these women are sleeping with their girlfriends, its doubtful theyre getting their fill of sexual desire from them.

Different strokes I guess.

You can get self esteem boost from people other than your spouse. You don't need your spouse telling you are beautiful all the time if other people do. You need it sometimes, sure. But not every day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think my husband has a lot of responsibility for how I feel about my body. He is literally the only person who sees me naked and the only person who can make explicit sexual comments about my body.
If DH wasn’t constantly telling me that he likes my body, that he wants to see me wearing xyz, and that he likes one body part or another, then all of my thoughts about my body would be from inside my own head or from my mom. And those are both terrible.

You really need to work on that voice in your head.

I’m okay, really. Terrible was probably a strong word to use. But the reality is that I’m an overweight middle aged mom. I’m not winning any beauty pageants.

It’s just that DH tells me something that he finds attractive about me pretty much every time I see him, so multiple times a day. If I’m going to the gym, he will tell me that he likes my hair in a ponytail so my neck is exposed. If I’m getting home from the gym, he will say that I look good all flushed like that. If I’m in taking the kids to the pool in my middle aged mom tankini, he will say that my butt looks good. If I go in my high waisted bikini, he will wolf whistle and ask if I need help putting sunscreen on. Like touching the torso of his wife of twenty years is super hot and somewhat forbidden.

You might say that men can’t help their wives with body image issues, but they definitely can.

I think I will be single for the foreseeable future if that's the bare minimum we need to do as men. Seriously why do you need me to keep telling you you are still beautiful and multiple times a day. Hey good for you though. Are all married men like this? Wow

I don't need you to TELL me. I need you to believe it, live it, show it. If you don't believe it, can't live it, can't even pretend it for show... yes, good idea on staying single.

And I can't say about all married men. I CAN say that once I found one, I stopped looking.

Np. Very hard for me to “believe” or “pretend” you are “beautiful” when you are fat.

DP.

So you don't believe she is beautiful, and she does not want to have sex with you, I'd say it is fair. No complaining about her sex drive then, no?

No it’s not fair when kids are involved. Its not fair to upend the lives of innocent kids when you cannot figure out how to fix your mental issues and somehow believe a husband is supposed to find his fat wife as attractive. If i was fat I wouldn’t expect my wife to find me attractive nor tell me how handsome I look

Interesting.

So it's not fair to the kids that a woman does not want to lose weight.

But it's fair to them that you are not willing to pretend that she is attractive but at the same time you want to walk away from the marriage if she does not want to have sex with you?

Yes because sex is an essential part of marriage along with other things. It is not possible for a healthy normal libido man to be celibate long term

So sex is essential, but you are not willing to do what needs to be done to make it happen. But it's the woman's fault and not yours?

No i m not willing to tell a fat wife i find her attractive. Onus is on her to lose weight if she is fat. Just like I wouldn’t expect my wife to find me attractive if I was fat or a lazy couch potato. It would be my responsibility to fix myself.

What’s worse is that fat women actually believe it when their husbands tell them they are attractive.

Anyway I need to get back to work. Might be back if I have time