SIL not vaccinating baby

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My SIL is not a Trump supporter, but she is a big RFK Jr. supporter, to the point that she told me she was happy Trump was elected because he appointed him as head of HHS. She’s been posting a lot of anti-vaccination stuff on Facebook, along with other bananas things like people having conversations with AI about how there’s land on Earth “beyond the ancestral ice wall” that humans don’t know about.

She and my BIL had their fourth baby a little less than three months ago. My husband and I just found out from my MIL that my SIL refused to give the baby her two-month vaccinations and says she won’t be giving her any vaccines at all in the future. The pediatrician, who treated my husband, his brother, and all the nieces and nephews, is livid and refuses to keep baby #4 as a patient anymore. I’m not sure what’s happening with the other three kids.

My BIL would have vaccinated the baby but basically does whatever SIL says and told us he doesn’t really care. MIL and FIL are worried about measles but otherwise seem like they’re not too concerned. I think she’s an idiot for many reasons, but I’ve always been cordial with her. My husband is furious. We just went through a measles scare at our daughter’s daycare, and it’s incredibly upsetting that she’s being so careless with her child’s health—and with the health of others.

We’re visiting for a family event in a few weeks, and I’m not sure what to do. My husband wants to have a family discussion about it, which is fine since it’s his family, but I worry she’s doing this for attention and a confrontation would just give her what she wants. She also tends to use the kids as bargaining chips, and I really want my daughter to have a relationship with her cousins, who are very sweet and smart.

I don’t think a direct confrontation will go well, but I also don’t want to just let it go. I’d like to give her facts and information, though I know she’d probably just say it’s all biased. I’m feeling really stuck. Has anyone dealt with something like this before? What helped?

The sad part is, she has a PhD and used to be a scientist before she left her job after having her third child.

So you don’t like your SIL much- or respect her- and never have (and that was before she had kid #4 and this particular issue arose).

Do you think she is unaware of this? Do you think her husband is unaware of this? I’m sure they assume your DH shares your views as well.

I can’t imagine what you think “confronting them” will achieve here….and given the above, it won’t be taken as “concern for their baby”. It is not likely to achieve the result you desire.

[Anonymous]

So what? I have a very close friend whose grandson is not vacccinated. My family has been around that family often and regularly. Vacations, holidays, activites; we spend a lot of time together. I have never said a word to my friends daughter about her decision not to vaccinate. That's their decision. And I have no knowledge of it affecting anyone in a negative way. Not her own family and not my family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel like this thread shows democrats in such a poor light. I am a democrat, family all vaccinated (we even get covid vaccinations!). But the misinformation and fearmongering here is out of control. People are heartbroken! The child will be seriously ill or die! The kid should get vaccinated, but he’s very likely to be fine. It’s a lot like seatbelts - you should wear one always but for the vast majority of trips, we’d be fine without it. When we make these wild claims and it doesn’t pan out, we look like liars and are less believable when it matters.

?
You do get that there are nationwide seatbelt laws and public awareness campaigns, right? Because science proved that wearing seatbelts significantly reduces fatality and injury? Make a better point.

[Anonymous]

I have the exact same situation my DH’s sister. I try to do the “Let Them” thing but the damage done to our relationship because of how this diminished my opinion of her is irreparable.

I can be civil but that’s it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So what? I have a very close friend whose grandson is not vacccinated. My family has been around that family often and regularly. Vacations, holidays, activites; we spend a lot of time together. I have never said a word to my friends daughter about her decision not to vaccinate. That's their decision. And I have no knowledge of it affecting anyone in a negative way. Not her own family and not my family.

I also wouldn’t say anything to a friend’s daughter, but this OP’s actual family.

If everyone thought like your friend’s daughter, many people would be negatively affected, including people who vaccinate their children. Also I guess your friend’s daughter’s child doesn’t go to school or travel internationally because they would likely need vaccines for that.

[Anonymous]

WE can't argue with stupid. She strikes me as a scientist who couldn't really make it in terms of a research career, and so found a mommy cult of MAHAs. They prey on people like her.

[Anonymous]

Avoid these people like the plagues they will soon be spreading.

[Anonymous]

The problem is family gatherings with elderly or immunocompromised relatives.

This child might get a religious exemption to attend school, and if so, they can bring potentially fatal viruses to all the vulnerable people in the family.

The parents of this child are putting many people at risk, not just their child. It’s very disappointing on their part.

[Anonymous]

You don't like your sister's political leanings but this is a case of MYOB. Not your child, not your decision. If SIL took you aside and lectured you at the family gathering, you would be livid and posting here about what a terrible human she is to question your parental authority and decision making.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My SIL is not a Trump supporter, but she is a big RFK Jr. supporter, to the point that she told me she was happy Trump was elected because he appointed him as head of HHS. She’s been posting a lot of anti-vaccination stuff on Facebook, along with other bananas things like people having conversations with AI about how there’s land on Earth “beyond the ancestral ice wall” that humans don’t know about.

She and my BIL had their fourth baby a little less than three months ago. My husband and I just found out from my MIL that my SIL refused to give the baby her two-month vaccinations and says she won’t be giving her any vaccines at all in the future. The pediatrician, who treated my husband, his brother, and all the nieces and nephews, is livid and refuses to keep baby #4 as a patient anymore. I’m not sure what’s happening with the other three kids.

My BIL would have vaccinated the baby but basically does whatever SIL says and told us he doesn’t really care. MIL and FIL are worried about measles but otherwise seem like they’re not too concerned. I think she’s an idiot for many reasons, but I’ve always been cordial with her. My husband is furious. We just went through a measles scare at our daughter’s daycare, and it’s incredibly upsetting that she’s being so careless with her child’s health—and with the health of others.

We’re visiting for a family event in a few weeks, and I’m not sure what to do. My husband wants to have a family discussion about it, which is fine since it’s his family, but I worry she’s doing this for attention and a confrontation would just give her what she wants. She also tends to use the kids as bargaining chips, and I really want my daughter to have a relationship with her cousins, who are very sweet and smart.

I don’t think a direct confrontation will go well, but I also don’t want to just let it go. I’d like to give her facts and information, though I know she’d probably just say it’s all biased. I’m feeling really stuck. Has anyone dealt with something like this before? What helped?

The sad part is, she has a PhD and used to be a scientist before she left her job after having her third child.

So you don’t like your SIL much- or respect her- and never have (and that was before she had kid #4 and this particular issue arose).

Do you think she is unaware of this? Do you think her husband is unaware of this? I’m sure they assume your DH shares your views as well.

I can’t imagine what you think “confronting them” will achieve here….and given the above, it won’t be taken as “concern for their baby”. It is not likely to achieve the result you desire.

regardless of how anyone feels about anyone else and the history, what these people are doing is really terrible. it's putting people's lives at stake and is going counter to centuries of science. it's digusting, confront them.

the whole point of vaccination is that it isn't just YOUR kids who are helped.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You don't like your sister's political leanings but this is a case of MYOB. Not your child, not your decision. If SIL took you aside and lectured you at the family gathering, you would be livid and posting here about what a terrible human she is to question your parental authority and decision making.

disagree. we're not talking about whether we should lower taxes. it's not political. people's lives are at stake!

[Anonymous]

Don't bothe confronting them.
Just don't socialize.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My SIL is not a Trump supporter, but she is a big RFK Jr. supporter, to the point that she told me she was happy Trump was elected because he appointed him as head of HHS. She’s been posting a lot of anti-vaccination stuff on Facebook, along with other bananas things like people having conversations with AI about how there’s land on Earth “beyond the ancestral ice wall” that humans don’t know about.

She and my BIL had their fourth baby a little less than three months ago. My husband and I just found out from my MIL that my SIL refused to give the baby her two-month vaccinations and says she won’t be giving her any vaccines at all in the future. The pediatrician, who treated my husband, his brother, and all the nieces and nephews, is livid and refuses to keep baby #4 as a patient anymore. I’m not sure what’s happening with the other three kids.

My BIL would have vaccinated the baby but basically does whatever SIL says and told us he doesn’t really care. MIL and FIL are worried about measles but otherwise seem like they’re not too concerned. I think she’s an idiot for many reasons, but I’ve always been cordial with her. My husband is furious. We just went through a measles scare at our daughter’s daycare, and it’s incredibly upsetting that she’s being so careless with her child’s health—and with the health of others.

We’re visiting for a family event in a few weeks, and I’m not sure what to do. My husband wants to have a family discussion about it, which is fine since it’s his family, but I worry she’s doing this for attention and a confrontation would just give her what she wants. She also tends to use the kids as bargaining chips, and I really want my daughter to have a relationship with her cousins, who are very sweet and smart.

I don’t think a direct confrontation will go well, but I also don’t want to just let it go. I’d like to give her facts and information, though I know she’d probably just say it’s all biased. I’m feeling really stuck. Has anyone dealt with something like this before? What helped?

The sad part is, she has a PhD and used to be a scientist before she left her job after having her third child.

So you don’t like your SIL much- or respect her- and never have (and that was before she had kid #4 and this particular issue arose).

Do you think she is unaware of this? Do you think her husband is unaware of this? I’m sure they assume your DH shares your views as well.

I can’t imagine what you think “confronting them” will achieve here….and given the above, it won’t be taken as “concern for their baby”. It is not likely to achieve the result you desire.

regardless of how anyone feels about anyone else and the history, what these people are doing is really terrible. it's putting people's lives at stake and is going counter to centuries of science. it's digusting, confront them.

the whole point of vaccination is that it isn't just YOUR kids who are helped.

And confronting them will accomplish what, exactly?

[Anonymous]

To the people who say it's not OP's business, it is VERY much her business if she or her family catches whatever preventable virus this child may give them. If Grandpa catches something and has a complication and a debilitating stroke, who is going to look after him? OP and spouse?

The presence of unvaccinated family members creates complications within the family and are therefore very much everyone's problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My SIL is not a Trump supporter, but she is a big RFK Jr. supporter, to the point that she told me she was happy Trump was elected because he appointed him as head of HHS. She’s been posting a lot of anti-vaccination stuff on Facebook, along with other bananas things like people having conversations with AI about how there’s land on Earth “beyond the ancestral ice wall” that humans don’t know about.

She and my BIL had their fourth baby a little less than three months ago. My husband and I just found out from my MIL that my SIL refused to give the baby her two-month vaccinations and says she won’t be giving her any vaccines at all in the future. The pediatrician, who treated my husband, his brother, and all the nieces and nephews, is livid and refuses to keep baby #4 as a patient anymore. I’m not sure what’s happening with the other three kids.

My BIL would have vaccinated the baby but basically does whatever SIL says and told us he doesn’t really care. MIL and FIL are worried about measles but otherwise seem like they’re not too concerned. I think she’s an idiot for many reasons, but I’ve always been cordial with her. My husband is furious. We just went through a measles scare at our daughter’s daycare, and it’s incredibly upsetting that she’s being so careless with her child’s health—and with the health of others.

We’re visiting for a family event in a few weeks, and I’m not sure what to do. My husband wants to have a family discussion about it, which is fine since it’s his family, but I worry she’s doing this for attention and a confrontation would just give her what she wants. She also tends to use the kids as bargaining chips, and I really want my daughter to have a relationship with her cousins, who are very sweet and smart.

I don’t think a direct confrontation will go well, but I also don’t want to just let it go. I’d like to give her facts and information, though I know she’d probably just say it’s all biased. I’m feeling really stuck. Has anyone dealt with something like this before? What helped?

The sad part is, she has a PhD and used to be a scientist before she left her job after having her third child.

So you don’t like your SIL much- or respect her- and never have (and that was before she had kid #4 and this particular issue arose).

Do you think she is unaware of this? Do you think her husband is unaware of this? I’m sure they assume your DH shares your views as well.

I can’t imagine what you think “confronting them” will achieve here….and given the above, it won’t be taken as “concern for their baby”. It is not likely to achieve the result you desire.

regardless of how anyone feels about anyone else and the history, what these people are doing is really terrible. it's putting people's lives at stake and is going counter to centuries of science. it's digusting, confront them.

the whole point of vaccination is that it isn't just YOUR kids who are helped.

And confronting them will accomplish what, exactly?

let them know they are disgusting people who have no place in society and that they are doing something seriously dangerous