Rush coach

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Non-rich kids get into the best houses all the time because of their last name and who they know or because their great-granddaddy was a judge in Jackson/Mobile, descendant of a founding family for the capital city, etc. or their family used to be wealthy and lost all their money through the generations (name matters more than money.)"

From my personal, recent experience, that stereotype of an SEC fraternity caring about family lineage is limited to at most 1 fraternity on campus (maybe 2-3 at Alabama). If your frame of reference is when you were on campus in the 90s, its a totally different era.

Its much more common for kids from NY/NJ/MD/VA to move to Tuscaloosa, Athens, and Nashville (Vandy) then anytime in the past century. Our neighbor's son is adopted from Korea and he had zero issues rushing at U of Georgia last year, and roughly 1/3 of his rush friends were from the Northeast or West Coast.

So if your granddaddy wasn't fishing with Forrest Gump, playing ball for Bear Bryant, and doesn't know how to boil a crawfish, you're not going to be alone.

My frame of reference was 2018.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had no idea Southern culture was like this- not being open to different peoples who may come from different backgrounds and have unique perspectives.

I now understand from this post, southerners at least at these schools, like only white people who are from local families with a particular pedigree. And if you’re not that, you’re automatically second class. This is the very definition of elitism of a whole new level. Thank you for this stern warning about what it is like to attend a school in the south.

“Old Row” houses, yes. Unless you personally know several girls currently in the house.

You can find your people elsewhere on campus. But kids who aspire to be part of the “it Greek crowd” will be disappointed.

[Anonymous]

Genuinely Curious… what do moms do to help their girls starting in 9th grade?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don’t judge. A lot of moms who didn’t rush want to understand the process and there are many nasties who want to gatekeep. I will list some information in case this is helpful. Nice people feel free to add if you are coming from a good place.

1. Recommendations from alumni don’t hold much weight anymore and even less if they don’t know your kid well.

2. Caveat if rec is from an super active alumni who goes to the conventions etc but this is fairly hard to find.

3. Recs from current students helps but do not rely. Some schools do not allow
any recommendations but go ahead and get rush chair email and send if your want and they keep a file.

4. What does help if knowing girls in the house and this is the biggest thing. How do you scale that mountain?? See if girls from the area are in said house. Look to see if you know girls in common and see if someone can introduce. My daughter is always open to helping girls. She gets the stress and so do most other sorority girls. They are nicer than you may believe.

5. Start following instagram of girls you may know and follow the intragram of all the houses. Do not put in comments but you can like a nice photo. Commenting is too try hard.

6. Before following on instagram get your instagram in order. Lots of friends photos. Nothing crazy and have a few friends look over for their opinion. You are communicating that you are fun and nice and don’t look like you will be a problem ie the drunk girl.

7. In a perfect world you are able to grab a coffee with some girls before rush starts. Keep in mind that getting to know new classmates is a huge bonus as they may know girls in the houses.

8. Organize your rush gear. Get a rush bag (scout/longchamps etc)to put your heels and make up. You will walk house to house in sneakers or do not try to do rush in heels because you will have blisters day one.
-white sun dress
-cute jean shorts
-black cocktail
above is a definite
-also add other cocktail depending on colors for even but it will be short and stylish but not over the top
jewelry-ask mom if you can borrow a few things or buy fakes hint most of the jewelry is fake but needs to look good so one nice price and a few fakes will do
-figure out the make up in hot weather now. Help your daughter and take her to get it done professionally so she knows how to do it. Nothing worse than looking clownish.

If you are totally clueless then by all means get a rush consultant because they may have a bunch of new alumni who can help with introductions but guessing you can really get this done on your own.

Good luck! I loved greek life and my kids love(d) it as well!!

Have nothing against rushing. My daughter wants to in fact. But this stuff is exactly why she doesn't want to go to an SEC or Southern school where it seems like the girls just live for this stuff. Who the heck gets groomed for a sorority from 9th grade? Hard not to judge.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Genuinely Curious… what do moms do to help their girls starting in 9th grade?

They encourage parties and drinking. They throw parties for the kids and allow alcohol so the kids “learn” how to party and “socialize”. They micromanage their diets and appearance and when they go to the college football games they manipulate opportunities for them to meet girls currently in houses so that they have an in when they rush. They take them on elaborate vacations for photo ops for their Instagram feeds where they are sure to look like they’re cute and fun (but heavens! not actually with a drink in your hand!)
They schmooze moms during the high school years who might have connections that will help pull strings if necessary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Genuinely Curious… what do moms do to help their girls starting in 9th grade?

They encourage parties and drinking. They throw parties for the kids and allow alcohol so the kids “learn” how to party and “socialize”. They micromanage their diets and appearance and when they go to the college football games they manipulate opportunities for them to meet girls currently in houses so that they have an in when they rush. They take them on elaborate vacations for photo ops for their Instagram feeds where they are sure to look like they’re cute and fun (but heavens! not actually with a drink in your hand!)
They schmooze moms during the high school years who might have connections that will help pull strings if necessary.

Exhausting. And strange.

[Anonymous]

There are different kinds of Greek experiences, even in the South. Can’t compare Greek life at GA Tech or Emory with Greek life at UGA.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had no idea Southern culture was like this- not being open to different peoples who may come from different backgrounds and have unique perspectives.

I now understand from this post, southerners at least at these schools, like only white people who are from local families with a particular pedigree. And if you’re not that, you’re automatically second class. This is the very definition of elitism of a whole new level. Thank you for this stern warning about what it is like to attend a school in the south.

I mean, it's not a new level at all. There is plenty of racial and cultural elitism reflected in institutions and groups in other areas of the country too. One difference with southerners though is they don't take themselves too seriously and they do have a good time.

As a southerner who married an old school new Englander.... LOL. There are plenty of people who like "only ' x ' people from certain families..." and don't get me started on the things I've heard my sister's MIL say (married into a very important Indian family). Y'all need to get out more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Regardless of where you rush, make sure your IG profile is solid. I think this is true for sororities and fraternities.

For some big schools, the first round of rush is basically a yes or no based on your social media.

DD’s IG is private. Do sororities expect kids to make their accounts public in order to rush? Also, she’s not on TikTok. I can’t imagine this matters, but maybe it does? 🤷‍♀️

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Genuinely Curious… what do moms do to help their girls starting in 9th grade?

They encourage parties and drinking. They throw parties for the kids and allow alcohol so the kids “learn” how to party and “socialize”. They micromanage their diets and appearance and when they go to the college football games they manipulate opportunities for them to meet girls currently in houses so that they have an in when they rush. They take them on elaborate vacations for photo ops for their Instagram feeds where they are sure to look like they’re cute and fun (but heavens! not actually with a drink in your hand!)
They schmooze moms during the high school years who might have connections that will help pull strings if necessary.

They also do everything they can to teach their daughters fashion sense, makeup, and photo posing .

I went to private school and didn't have a mom that did this, so I was definitely out of the loop, and was only friends with the rest of the girls out of the loop in high school.

[Anonymous]

This might be the most depressing thread I’ve ever read on this board. And that is really saying something.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Genuinely Curious… what do moms do to help their girls starting in 9th grade?

They encourage parties and drinking. They throw parties for the kids and allow alcohol so the kids “learn” how to party and “socialize”. They micromanage their diets and appearance and when they go to the college football games they manipulate opportunities for them to meet girls currently in houses so that they have an in when they rush. They take them on elaborate vacations for photo ops for their Instagram feeds where they are sure to look like they’re cute and fun (but heavens! not actually with a drink in your hand!)
They schmooze moms during the high school years who might have connections that will help pull strings if necessary.

They also do everything they can to teach their daughters fashion sense, makeup, and photo posing .

I went to private school and didn't have a mom that did this, so I was definitely out of the loop, and was only friends with the rest of the girls out of the loop in high school.

I think I’m still out of the loop.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had no idea Southern culture was like this- not being open to different peoples who may come from different backgrounds and have unique perspectives.

I now understand from this post, southerners at least at these schools, like only white people who are from local families with a particular pedigree. And if you’re not that, you’re automatically second class. This is the very definition of elitism of a whole new level. Thank you for this stern warning about what it is like to attend a school in the south.

I mean, it's not a new level at all. There is plenty of racial and cultural elitism reflected in institutions and groups in other areas of the country too. One difference with southerners though is they don't take themselves too seriously and they do have a good time.

As a southerner who married an old school new Englander.... LOL. There are plenty of people who like "only ' x ' people from certain families..." and don't get me started on the things I've heard my sister's MIL say (married into a very important Indian family). Y'all need to get out more.

So funny to read the DMV crowd’s judgement over all this! People are the same re: hooks into Ivies. In the south, these connections are important to business. NE old money is the same- go summer in the Hamptons and tell me there isn’t a fraternity vibe there also.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Genuinely Curious… what do moms do to help their girls starting in 9th grade?

If you're going to a school in Texas and wealthy, you need to go to the right summer camp and meet the right people.

You need to learn manners and fashion and makeup.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What about for a DMV boy heading to an SEC school? Any tips to get into a top frat?

He won't. But he needs to be open to any of them.

Even if he is a sporty, rich, attractive, private school kid?

Not enough of he’s OOS and not connected. Southerners don’t care how rich you are or what your last name is unless they already know your family and status.

You can be a rich CCC member from a private school, but unless you have a social connection, it does not matter. At all.

Non-rich kids get into the best houses all the time because of their last name and who they know or because their great-granddaddy was a judge in Jackson/Mobile, descendant of a founding family for the capital city, etc. or their family used to be wealthy and lost all their money through the generations (name matters more than money.)

It’s all about who you know and who you are related to. They do not know or care about OOS country club/private school selectivity or your Mayflower last name - unless you settled in their state and deeply know locals.

That said, it’s MUCH easier for the boys than the girls.

So this is what I’m judgmental of—the fact that Greek life at these schools is primarily a way to perpetuate the Confederate aristocracy. Some real Lost Cause sh*t.

No, that's not it. It's focused on who you know in that State. It's not North vs. South. Georgia sororities aren't likely to give a lot of weight to someone from Arkansas who they don't know.

Although coming in as a holier-than-thou liberal elite from the Northeast isn't likely to win over people from most of the rest of the country.

Call it what you want be it’s 100% insular and yes, it’s about perpetuating the confederate aristocracy. At least for the “old row” houses. They are prosperity Christians now. The southern upper/UM old money class will NOT go of their “roots”. They still operate by having numerous private social clubs/groups and do not let “outsiders” in no matter how much money and status they have if it’s not “old southern money” status.

It’s not “against the North”, it’s about fiercely wielding social power to benefit their own tight circle and a complete disinterest in the rest of the country.

Who’s your daddy? That’s all that matters.

You think there are not other insular groups like this in other areas, particularly the NE? They are just more low-key about it.