Rush coach

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: It all sounds so desperate. If students paid more attention to their studies----southern HS and elementary schools would cease to be consistently ranked at the bottom of the barrel.

Sorry you didn't get a bid.

Oh God! The last thing in the world I would want is to be some stupid MAGA trad wife in some awful southern state where women have no rights. Sorry you had to go to some backwater southern, bottom I ranked HS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't get it.
What is the point?
For friends that you have to be friends with?
What if you don't really like them after a while?

You're not forced to continue to participate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t judge. A lot of moms who didn’t rush want to understand the process and there are many nasties who want to gatekeep. I will list some information in case this is helpful. Nice people feel free to add if you are coming from a good place.

1. Recommendations from alumni don’t hold much weight anymore and even less if they don’t know your kid well.

2. Caveat if rec is from an super active alumni who goes to the conventions etc but this is fairly hard to find.

3. Recs from current students helps but do not rely. Some schools do not allow
any recommendations but go ahead and get rush chair email and send if your want and they keep a file.

4. What does help if knowing girls in the house and this is the biggest thing. How do you scale that mountain?? See if girls from the area are in said house. Look to see if you know girls in common and see if someone can introduce. My daughter is always open to helping girls. She gets the stress and so do most other sorority girls. They are nicer than you may believe.

5. Start following instagram of girls you may know and follow the intragram of all the houses. Do not put in comments but you can like a nice photo. Commenting is too try hard.

6. Before following on instagram get your instagram in order. Lots of friends photos. Nothing crazy and have a few friends look over for their opinion. You are communicating that you are fun and nice and don’t look like you will be a problem ie the drunk girl.

7. In a perfect world you are able to grab a coffee with some girls before rush starts. Keep in mind that getting to know new classmates is a huge bonus as they may know girls in the houses.

8. Organize your rush gear. Get a rush bag (scout/longchamps etc)to put your heels and make up. You will walk house to house in sneakers or do not try to do rush in heels because you will have blisters day one.
-white sun dress
-cute jean shorts
-black cocktail
above is a definite
-also add other cocktail depending on colors for even but it will be short and stylish but not over the top
jewelry-ask mom if you can borrow a few things or buy fakes hint most of the jewelry is fake but needs to look good so one nice price and a few fakes will do
-figure out the make up in hot weather now. Help your daughter and take her to get it done professionally so she knows how to do it. Nothing worse than looking clownish.

If you are totally clueless then by all means get a rush consultant because they may have a bunch of new alumni who can help with introductions but guessing you can really get this done on your own.

Good luck! I loved greek life and my kids love(d) it as well!!

This sounds super stressful and over the top. Glad my DD has expressed no interest in Greek life.

Can you break this down to us like we are 3yrs old? Or otherwise repost this using full sentences that non-rush people can understand? Please. Not trying to be funny. DD is interested in Alabama but I don't know what you're saying.

PP here. What don't you understand? Did you read the PP's recommendations? If you are fine with creating a persona to gain access to a friend group, then go for it. My DD is more interested in meeting friends at school in a more organic manner. She's crossed all schools with dominant Greek life off the list. You might want to watch that documentary about Alabama Greek Life. I think it's called Bama Rush. If after that you and your daughter feel compelled to pursue, by all means, go for it.

DD just wants to meet people organically but also understands that at a school like 'Bama she might need to join a sorority. She doesn't want to create anything or stress but wants to have a good experience. You are being judgy and I am looking for non-judgemental advice. I didn't understand that list of recommendation so I want that PP to break it down in simpler terms.

Not to be mean, but what was there not to understand about the list? They go from house to house for rush, hence the sneaker recommendation. They tend to dress a certain way, hence the clothing recommendations. Sometimes recommendations are made, i.e. "This person would make a great member!" hence the tip to network in advance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What about for a DMV boy heading to an SEC school? Any tips to get into a top frat?

He won't. But he needs to be open to any of them.

Even if he is a sporty, rich, attractive, private school kid?

Not enough of he’s OOS and not connected. Southerners don’t care how rich you are or what your last name is unless they already know your family and status.

You can be a rich CCC member from a private school, but unless you have a social connection, it does not matter. At all.

Non-rich kids get into the best houses all the time because of their last name and who they know or because their great-granddaddy was a judge in Jackson/Mobile, descendant of a founding family for the capital city, etc. or their family used to be wealthy and lost all their money through the generations (name matters more than money.)

It’s all about who you know and who you are related to. They do not know or care about OOS country club/private school selectivity or your Mayflower last name - unless you settled in their state and deeply know locals.

That said, it’s MUCH easier for the boys than the girls.

Schools can play a role. Kids from large private schools going to certain colleges and helping fellow alumni get in, etc. "So and so also went there (high school). What were they like in HS?" Large groups of kids from these schools tend to go to the same colleges and look at the same fraternities/ sororities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Genuinely Curious… what do moms do to help their girls starting in 9th grade?

Since it’s a genuine question…I’ll offer that they sign them up for the “right” summer camps. Not sure what the old-school SEC ones are, but I’m from Texas and those are Camp Longhorn, Camp Mystic for girls, and Kanukuk in Missouri. (Though tbh you don’t really wait until 9th grade for that. You go from like 3rda12th grade so that you know all the girls ahead and behind you when you get to campus!)
You sign up for and participate in NCL (National Charity League), you belong to Junior League (as a sustaining member at this point because you were likely in JL in your 20s before your kids were born and maybe when they were toddlers) but you still attend the teas and galas/fundraisers. You support your own sorority fundraisers and teas and Christmas markets, etc and you bring your DD so she can meet other members DD’s.
You make sure she is involved in philanthropy, has good scholarship, and maintains clean social media. Nothing can tank a potential new members chances like a rotten reputation or a social media post that won’t go away.

That’s what they do to help their daughters starting in 9th grade.

And at old school SEC schools as well as flagship Texas schools, recommendations are absolutely still required.

Wow, so this isn’t just about rush, but it’s a whole lifestyle that goes generation to generation.
What is NCL and JL? Never heard of them. I know you said a bit about them but what do these organizations do and who joins? Are they mostly social? Do you mean that you join and take your DD or DD joins?
What kind of philanthropy are y’all doing? Like community service directly with people in need- soup kitchens, etc? Or is it more galas and donations?
Do these DDs ever end up in professional careers such as doctors, engineers, lawyers, scientists?

Not judging, just truly fascinated and curious to learn about this foreign lifestyle.

[Anonymous]

I grew up in Texas and live there now. I know tons of people, including myself and close family members, who have rushed and joined top sororities at schools like UT, SMU and Ole Miss, which are known to be very competitive when it comes to rush. Many comments on here are over the top and inaccurate, at least as it relates to the schools I mentioned.

Yes, it can be very difficult to get into a top sorority if you don’t know any members. However, if you went to the right schools and or summer camps, you really don’t have to do anything special to rush. Perhaps it’s more of a Deep South than a Texas thing, but I have never once heard anyone talk about how someone comes from a prestigious lineage and will be rushed because of their last name. Perhaps this is a small town thing or was a thing a generation or two ago.

Of course you want to carefully pick your rush wardrobe, but most of these girls are always thoughtful in how they present themselves. Yes, moms teach their kids good manners, but this is just basic parenting, not rush preparation. I’ve never once encountered or heard of moms going to football games and networking for rush purposes. All high school girls these days have carefully curated Instagram accounts, whether they’re rushing or not. They’re not creating these pictures for rush purposes.

If you attend the right schools, camps or parents belong to the right clubs, you don’t have to do anything special for rush. If you’re out of state and/or don’t know anyone in the sorority of your choice, it may make sense to hire a rush coordinator, but only if she can make introductions to girls at your school. Otherwise, it’s a waste of money.

For those of you scoffing at this process, it’s no different from the social clubs at the Ivies, country clubs, etc.

And all this applies only at certain schools. Rushing isn’t super competitive at most colleges.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The mother of my daughter’s friend is paying almost $3,000 for a rush coach. ???!!!

Will be a freshman at a Southern school. For the love of God….

Just a few years ago, this was something that was kept very hush, hush but now the rush coaches are on social media and it is slowly evolving to where it is not viewed as sad or ridiculous.

Also, for girls who didn't grow up in the south, and for girls who lack social confidence, it's probably a good idea. T

Teen girls who grow up in very southern states have spent their lives watching and learning how to be very socially polite, appear to express genuine concern and appear very "sweet" for lack of better explanation. For those who don't grow up with that it, then it's a skill to be learned. No one is fooled it is not at time phony yet it is still expected. Most girls who have to learn this skill don't like it at first because it feels strange since they aren't used it but girls who genuinely want to be in a sorority and like the whole concept of sorority, will quickly adopt it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What about for a DMV boy heading to an SEC school? Any tips to get into a top frat?

Just like there are sorority coaches, there are the equivalent for fraternities. The instagram algorithm brought one into my feed last year. He was helping guys who wanted to join SEC frats. Don't recall his page or name, sorry

[Anonymous]

AND?

[Anonymous]

What do these SEC sorority girls typically do after graduation? Work/job, grad school, marry/kids/SAHM?

If it’s work, what kid of professions?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm so glad I never had to pay for friends.

I’m sure you don’t have any friends at all. You don’t sound like a nice or kind person. Can’t imagine anyone would invest time in building a relationship with such a see you next Tuesday.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What do these SEC sorority girls typically do after graduation? Work/job, grad school, marry/kids/SAHM?

If it’s work, what kid of professions?

These sororities are huge- think 160 freshmen per house. Girls will do everything- go to grad school, get a job, get married. No answer exists for what an SEC sorority girl will do after college. Thinking they are all the same is a problem.

[Anonymous]

Is it possible for someone OOS with no connections to not rush freshmen year, get a lay of the land, identify and make friends with girls in sororities they like, and then rush as a sophomore? Or some other timeline? It just seems like a lot as soon as you join. I know someone going to Ole Miss and she’s going down a week early for rush activities, before classes have even started. Seems overwhelming.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Genuinely Curious… what do moms do to help their girls starting in 9th grade?

Since it’s a genuine question…I’ll offer that they sign them up for the “right” summer camps. Not sure what the old-school SEC ones are, but I’m from Texas and those are Camp Longhorn, Camp Mystic for girls, and Kanukuk in Missouri. (Though tbh you don’t really wait until 9th grade for that. You go from like 3rda12th grade so that you know all the girls ahead and behind you when you get to campus!)
You sign up for and participate in NCL (National Charity League), you belong to Junior League (as a sustaining member at this point because you were likely in JL in your 20s before your kids were born and maybe when they were toddlers) but you still attend the teas and galas/fundraisers. You support your own sorority fundraisers and teas and Christmas markets, etc and you bring your DD so she can meet other members DD’s.
You make sure she is involved in philanthropy, has good scholarship, and maintains clean social media. Nothing can tank a potential new members chances like a rotten reputation or a social media post that won’t go away.

That’s what they do to help their daughters starting in 9th grade.

And at old school SEC schools as well as flagship Texas schools, recommendations are absolutely still required.

Wow, so this isn’t just about rush, but it’s a whole lifestyle that goes generation to generation.
What is NCL and JL? Never heard of them. I know you said a bit about them but what do these organizations do and who joins? Are they mostly social? Do you mean that you join and take your DD or DD joins?
What kind of philanthropy are y’all doing? Like community service directly with people in need- soup kitchens, etc? Or is it more galas and donations?
Do these DDs ever end up in professional careers such as doctors, engineers, lawyers, scientists?

Not judging, just truly fascinated and curious to learn about this foreign lifestyle.

Absolutely! I was in a “top” sorority at UT and am an attorney and have sorority sisters who are also attorneys, doctors, investment bankers, business owners, a Chief Marketing Officer for a public company, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is it possible for someone OOS with no connections to not rush freshmen year, get a lay of the land, identify and make friends with girls in sororities they like, and then rush as a sophomore? Or some other timeline? It just seems like a lot as soon as you join. I know someone going to Ole Miss and she’s going down a week early for rush activities, before classes have even started. Seems overwhelming.

Or it can be the best decision. My DD acclimated best of all of her friends because she had an immediate friend group, big sis, and social activities.

But, yes, you can join sophomore year but it’s not as common. You can also look into COB which allows girls to join late or Spring semester to any sororities with open spots- it’s a lot less intimidation formal rush, but fewer houses.