5PM Wedding-MIL wants to wear a hat

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know that it’s necessarily attention seeking. Is it an outdoor wedding and MIL is worried about the sun? Is she sensitive about thinning hair? She might have a particular concern that wearing a hat would address.

Agreed. OP, unless she had one of the above excuses, she’s probably being rude. That being said, I’d ask my fiancé if he can shed light on her behavior .

If she’s being difficult, I’d pick my battles. This is not a battle I’d pick. Just ask her to take it off for photos. If she refuses, don’t put those photos out in your house. If she asks why, tell her that the hat was throwing off the photos.

Does your fiancé generally support you when you disagree with MIL? That’s a much more important issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know that it’s necessarily attention seeking. Is it an outdoor wedding and MIL is worried about the sun? Is she sensitive about thinning hair? She might have a particular concern that wearing a hat would address.

Agreed. OP, unless she had one of the above excuses, she’s probably being rude. That being said, I’d ask my fiancé if he can shed light on her behavior .

If she’s being difficult, I’d pick my battles. This is not a battle I’d pick. Just ask her to take it off for photos. If she refuses, don’t put those photos out in your house. If she asks why, tell her that the hat was throwing off the photos.

Does your fiancé generally support you when you disagree with MIL? That’s a much more important issue.

Jesus Christ, no do not tell your MIL that you can't display your wedding photos because of her ugly hat.

Today - and every day for the next 50 years - make every effort you can to get along with your spouse's mother. There will be times you have real fights - and there will be times you have dumb fights because you're worn out and she's just bugging you. But do NOT make this thing about the hat something that taints your relationship right from the start.

Wedding planning is a good little test of what being married to someone will be like. How you make big and small decisions together; which hills you want to die on; how you do and don't compromise; how well you share aesthetic taste and financial values; whose preferences take precedence; and what family means to you - how much they matter and what you are willing to push back on.

Don't get this thing started being a b about this hat. Unless it's truly terrible, and then go for it - no rules.

[Anonymous]

Who cares OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My relatives wore hats to my European wedding, in the family castle, daytime ceremony. Everyone showed up in hats, because that's what's expected.

You can maybe discuss this with her further, but if she really wants to wear one, please don't fight her on this. This is so minor!

Man I wish I could drop "in the family castle" in casual conversation!

If this were a Hallmark movie, you’d receive word that your noblewoman great aunt, whom you never met, has passed and left the family castle to you. In the course of settling the estate, you’d stay at the castle and meet a handsome, eligible bachelor, also of noble birth, and you’d decide to leave your workaholic fiancé and relocate to the castle. You and your aristocratic Romeo would live happily ever after, doing charitable work for the local village and hosting impossibly elaborate Christmas celebrations, as your family has done for generations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know all these little things about the wedding seem important now, but at some point you will look back and truly not GAF. But if you end up with people's feelings getting hurt, people will remember that.

^^^^^^^ THIS ^^^^^^^^

[Anonymous]

Is this the hat, OP?

[Anonymous]

Or this?

[Anonymous]

Or maybe this??

[Anonymous]

Must be this one

[Anonymous]

With a little creativity, you could coordinate your veil with your MILs hat, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My relatives wore hats to my European wedding, in the family castle, daytime ceremony. Everyone showed up in hats, because that's what's expected.

You can maybe discuss this with her further, but if she really wants to wear one, please don't fight her on this. This is so minor!

Man I wish I could drop "in the family castle" in casual conversation!

If this were a Hallmark movie, you’d receive word that your noblewoman great aunt, whom you never met, has passed and left the family castle to you. In the course of settling the estate, you’d stay at the castle and meet a handsome, eligible bachelor, also of noble birth, and you’d decide to leave your workaholic fiancé and relocate to the castle. You and your aristocratic Romeo would live happily ever after, doing charitable work for the local village and hosting impossibly elaborate Christmas celebrations, as your family has done for generations.

And then you'd pick a fight with his mother because she wanted to wear a hat, and

[Anonymous]

Future MIL just wants to wear a simple hat, carry some fresh flowers, and walk down the aisle to meet her dear son at the altar.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My relatives wore hats to my European wedding, in the family castle, daytime ceremony. Everyone showed up in hats, because that's what's expected.

You can maybe discuss this with her further, but if she really wants to wear one, please don't fight her on this. This is so minor!

Man I wish I could drop "in the family castle" in casual conversation!

If this were a Hallmark movie, you’d receive word that your noblewoman great aunt, whom you never met, has passed and left the family castle to you. In the course of settling the estate, you’d stay at the castle and meet a handsome, eligible bachelor, also of noble birth, and you’d decide to leave your workaholic fiancé and relocate to the castle. You and your aristocratic Romeo would live happily ever after, doing charitable work for the local village and hosting impossibly elaborate Christmas celebrations, as your family has done for generations.

And then you'd pick a fight with his mother because she wanted to wear a hat, and

Please write this movie script, PPs. I'd watch. "After Happily Ever After: Family Castle Edition."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Future MIL just wants to wear a simple hat, carry some fresh flowers, and walk down the aisle to meet her dear son at the altar.

In a white dress?

[Anonymous]

I cannot imagine policing such a thing. You can coordinate your bridesmaid's dresses, OP, but your MIL can dress herself. Where do you get off thinking you have any say?