5PM Wedding-MIL wants to wear a hat

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Elegant hats are frequently worn to British weddings with very elegant, formal suits and dresses. She's probably seen those.

At 5pm, it isn't a formal wedding, so a hat would be fine with the semi-formal suit or dress.

Why does the time matter for whether a hat is appropriate ?

Have to say, this is a delightful thread. Of all the things to worry about.

I'm the PP you're responding to. And I agree that this seems like a bride overwhelmed and over-worried about something that is really insignificant.

My point is that a hat is not inappropriate for the time of day. But if there is another reason the bride doesn't want the woman to wear a hat, then say that. By stating that the wedding is at 5pm, OP is implying that it is an inappropriate time to wear a hat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Adults get to decide for themselves what to wear. Trying to control what someone else wears, other than your bridesmaid is peak bridezilla.

Having said that, I would continue to push this issue so that your fiance knows what he is getting into.

Exactly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Elegant hats are frequently worn to British weddings with very elegant, formal suits and dresses. She's probably seen those.

At 5pm, it isn't a formal wedding, so a hat would be fine with the semi-formal suit or dress.

Why does the time matter for whether a hat is appropriate ?

Have to say, this is a delightful thread. Of all the things to worry about.

Do you really not know?

6:00 pm is the cut-off time for hats, unless they are cocktail hats.

I thought everyone knew that.

SOOO, OP, your MIL is correct.

I can't tell if this person is being sarcastic, or if this is actually a thing. I would think hats are historically worn becuase people used to wear them all the time in church, but in some cultures women continue to wear them to church. Or because it's an outdoor wedding and sunny.
Historically, evening weddings weren't as much a thing. Morning weddings with luncheons to follow were more traditional for various religious and cultural reasons.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know all these little things about the wedding seem important now, but at some point you will look back and truly not GAF. But if you end up with people's feelings getting hurt, people will remember that.

I'm one of the PPs who knows etiquette, and nothing supersedes etiquette more than this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Elegant hats are frequently worn to British weddings with very elegant, formal suits and dresses. She's probably seen those.

At 5pm, it isn't a formal wedding, so a hat would be fine with the semi-formal suit or dress.

Why does the time matter for whether a hat is appropriate ?

Have to say, this is a delightful thread. Of all the things to worry about.

Do you really not know?

6:00 pm is the cut-off time for hats, unless they are cocktail hats.

I thought everyone knew that.

SOOO, OP, your MIL is correct.

I can't tell if this person is being sarcastic, or if this is actually a thing. I would think hats are historically worn becuase people used to wear them all the time in church, but in some cultures women continue to wear them to church. Or because it's an outdoor wedding and sunny.
Historically, evening weddings weren't as much a thing. Morning weddings with luncheons to follow were more traditional for various religious and cultural reasons.

PP here. You're not from the South, are you?

It's absolutely a thing.

Hats are for daytime attire, defined as an event before cocktail hour, which is 6:00.

[Anonymous]

Defined by whom?

[Anonymous]

Hats are in, let her!

[Anonymous]

OP, if you don't want her to wear a hat because it will ruin the photos tell her that. Say you're worried that the hat will throw off the photos. Or wear the hat and take off for the official photos. (Though this is hard to do.)

Or does it feel that MIL wants to be the center of attention with her British-style hat?

More info, OP. Otherwise, 5pm is not an inappropriate time for a hat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Defined by whom?

Not the PP. But defined by etiquette standards. That the standards don't matter to some people now is another issue. But it is a standard that many people still adhere to.

And, again, OP stating that it's a 5pm wedding means she is in some way thinking she is adhering to standards -- or she's using that as an excuse so MIL can't wear a hat.

[Anonymous]

[twitter]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Elegant hats are frequently worn to British weddings with very elegant, formal suits and dresses. She's probably seen those.

At 5pm, it isn't a formal wedding, so a hat would be fine with the semi-formal suit or dress.

Why does the time matter for whether a hat is appropriate ?

Have to say, this is a delightful thread. Of all the things to worry about.

Do you really not know?

6:00 pm is the cut-off time for hats, unless they are cocktail hats.

I thought everyone knew that.

SOOO, OP, your MIL is correct.

I can't tell if this person is being sarcastic, or if this is actually a thing. I would think hats are historically worn becuase people used to wear them all the time in church, but in some cultures women continue to wear them to church. Or because it's an outdoor wedding and sunny.
Historically, evening weddings weren't as much a thing. Morning weddings with luncheons to follow were more traditional for various religious and cultural reasons.

PP here. You're not from the South, are you?

It's absolutely a thing.

Hats are for daytime attire, defined as an event before cocktail hour, which is 6:00.

Well, no wonder the south has been a backwater for so long if it’s been worried about such nonsense for generations.

There’s etiquette and then there’s etiquette and then there’s are stupid rules that someone made up just to be a twit.

Maybe MIL has thinning hair and it’s embarrassed by her bald spots, or she sensitive to the sun, or maybe she really does want to be the center of attention — I just don’t see any upside to die on this hill.

In the era of digital photography, you will likely have 1000 wedding photos, the ones where your MIL is wearing a hat that makes you go blind the rage, don’t look at those. No one else in the world will be looking at your wedding photos, even our kids don’t care about our wedding photos

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is it a red baseball cap? Otherwise I doubt many people will care.

Agree. For the evening, it needs to be the black on black version!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Defined by whom?

Not the PP. But defined by etiquette standards. That the standards don't matter to some people now is another issue. But it is a standard that many people still adhere to.

And, again, OP stating that it's a 5pm wedding means she is in some way thinking she is adhering to standards -- or she's using that as an excuse so MIL can't wear a hat.

Is this wedding in the south?

How many people?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Fiancée and I are getting married at a 5PM wedding and his mother wants to wear a hat. I don’t want her to plus it’s an evening wedding!

Who cares? It’s a hat! She can wear what she wants.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:[twitter]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Elegant hats are frequently worn to British weddings with very elegant, formal suits and dresses. She's probably seen those.

At 5pm, it isn't a formal wedding, so a hat would be fine with the semi-formal suit or dress.

Why does the time matter for whether a hat is appropriate ?

Have to say, this is a delightful thread. Of all the things to worry about.

Do you really not know?

6:00 pm is the cut-off time for hats, unless they are cocktail hats.

I thought everyone knew that.

SOOO, OP, your MIL is correct.

I can't tell if this person is being sarcastic, or if this is actually a thing. I would think hats are historically worn becuase people used to wear them all the time in church, but in some cultures women continue to wear them to church. Or because it's an outdoor wedding and sunny.
Historically, evening weddings weren't as much a thing. Morning weddings with luncheons to follow were more traditional for various religious and cultural reasons.

PP here. You're not from the South, are you?

It's absolutely a thing.

Hats are for daytime attire, defined as an event before cocktail hour, which is 6:00.

Well, no wonder the south has been a backwater for so long if it’s been worried about such nonsense for generations.

There’s etiquette and then there’s etiquette and then there’s are stupid rules that someone made up just to be a twit.

Maybe MIL has thinning hair and it’s embarrassed by her bald spots, or she sensitive to the sun, or maybe she really does want to be the center of attention — I just don’t see any upside to die on this hill.

In the era of digital photography, you will likely have 1000 wedding photos, the ones where your MIL is wearing a hat that makes you go blind the rage, don’t look at those. No one else in the world will be looking at your wedding photos, even our kids don’t care about our wedding photos

This exchange is so odd to me. You are both in agreement. Let her wear the hat. But the South insulter seems to just want to be antagonistic even in agreement. No wonder we are so divided as a country.

[Anonymous]

For everyone being pedantic about "Oh, OP, you're not very classy if you think 5pm is a formal wedding blah blah blah"...be so for real. When is the last time you saw someone wear a hat to a cocktail/formal dress-code wedding at 5pm. (And I mean in America. Don't tell me about some British wedding you went to at 10am.)

OP, I think it's incredibly weird, but whatever. Choose your battles.