I told my daughter a prom dress looked unflattering on her... mistake or no?

[Anonymous]

I give my honest opinion to my DD when she asks and she wants it. Now if she had her heart set on something and already bought the dress, I would shut up. This happened once. The dress ended up looking fine on her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids are boys but they know I will always tell them the truth and will never send them outside looking crazy

+1 My boys will always ask me to look at something they’re trying on and I always tell them if something is unflattering. If it’s pants I have them turn all the way around. They’re in college and over Xmas break, I had to run to the bathroom and my 19yo waited until I returned to try stuff on so he could get a second opinion.

Some girls are like this too and wouldn't be bothered. But clearly, OP's kid is more sensitive than this. Society places greater emphasis on girls' weight, and "unflattering" is often interpreted as related to weight. So there are two possible approaches: 1) to just wish your child was less sensitive and continue to say things that things are unflattering on her when you feel like it, or to apologize and try not to say such things in the future. Which do you think will lead to a better relationship with your kid?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unflattering is fine. My mom said things like "you look like a 2 ton baker". Don't say that.

Don't say either one.

I'm sorry your mom said things like that to you.

So just lie and say everything looks great? Would you let a good friend go out looking like a clown?

[Anonymous]

My kids only trusts my opinion because they knows that I am their mom and I will always want them to look their best.

My DD and I, may have disagreements but when the perfect dress comes along both of us will instantly agree on it. Also, she trusts us me to get the accessories too.

My son also agrees with my choices and relies on me. The only thing is that he wants clothes that are soft and comfortable most of the time.

[Anonymous]

My teen and I went dress shopping with her friend and her mom and the way the mom spoke to the daughter haunts me to this day. Literally you could see the girl come out feeling fantastic and the mom would immediately deflate her - the other one looked better, that color isn’t good for you, the top isn’t flattering. It was heartbreaking. You could just see the girl completely deflate from trusting herself and what she wanted to trying to figure out what made the mom happy. She ended up leaving with a dress her mom loved - the mom was gushing over how great she looked in it the whole time - that wasn’t anything like she wanted or felt good in. It was so sad.

I wouldn’t offer your opinion unless she specifically asks. And remember that your 50-year old idea of what is “flattering” is like totally different from hers - and no she’s not wrong, styles change. And read her facial expressions - if she comes out glowing and twirling, she loves it and feels like she looks the way she wants. Keep your mouth shut. If she comes out saying “what do you think of this color?” Then sure offer your opinion.

[Anonymous]

Also who’s to say you’re right? Styles vary so substantially - some people think they look great in something and other intelligent people would totally disagree.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Also who’s to say you’re right? Styles vary so substantially - some people think they look great in something and other intelligent people would totally disagree.

OP was specifically asked her opinion on the dress. And saying it was "unflattering" is pretty diplomatic. The lesson for OPs daughter may be to not solicit opinions if she can't handle them.