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Kids With Special Needs and Disabilities
Why am I so annoyed by all these fully functional adults getting diagnosed with Autism?
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Anonymous
| And also, what is with this need to "explain" to people you have never met that they aren't actually autistic? Let it go. Do some self reflection on why this is something you are motivated to do. |
Anonymous
+1 |
Anonymous
| At this point, I am thinking that everyone has autism given the list of symptoms people say they have. |
Anonymous
You all sound incredibly ignorant and mean. Guess you never got the message that not all disabilities are visible. Autism isn't about how an autistic person looks to you. It's about their experience. Imagine telling a person with a malignant brain tumor that they don't look like they have cancer. Who would do that? |
Anonymous
Live with it. I am sure you can manage. |
Anonymous
This |
Anonymous
We've had periods of times where he's lived apart from my mother (due to layoff, moves, new jobs) and he's unable to function to any reasonable standards. He'll go to a grocery store and wander for hours unable to pick out food. He'll eventually come home with some things, but then eat them as individual ingredients. For instance, he'll eat a bag of lettuce as a meal with no other toppings. Or a loaf of sandwich bread. He also won't judge if the food is still good, so he'll eat it even if moldy or spoiled, even if it tastes gross. If he has to buy clothes he doesn't consider the current weather or size and buys based on price and then wears the clothing regardless of whether it fits or is appropriate. He generally wears the same clothing "formula" that he's worn his whole life. It's super weird behavior. For skiing, my middle school aged sister (at the time of that obsession) did a lot of the executive functioning to make those trips happen. He has huge gaps. He liked golf because he'd be assigned to tee times with others and those people basically had to talk to him while they played. It was a replacement for actual social interactions. As an engineer he can solve complex problems, but was demoted or fired for not solving the engineering problems assigned by management. He loves to design cutting edge microprocessors, but struggles to follow instructions or stay on a task that isn't of his choosing. If you want another example of his inability to function, my mom was in a horse back riding accident and broke her back. She was in the hospital and they were trying to determine if she was paralyzed or partially paralyzed. When they called him to tell him he asked if she'd be home to make dinner. My sister had to call him and tell him to go to the hospital. He didn't know he should go without being explicitly told. I'm sure others have major problems too, but it's not like he's just a-okay because he can solve really hard engineering problems. |
Anonymous
DP. I don’t it helpful to anyone to pretend that “fully functional” adults—whatever that means—just sail through their days without experiencing the same type of symptoms that can get someone a diagnosis. I mean, everybody masks to some extent. |
Anonymous
You are intentionally ignoring the multiple posters that have tried to describe to you the very real, impairing symptoms that people can have despite being able to hold down a job. It sounds like nobody can help you. |
Anonymous
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NP- I find it annoying as a mother of a young, can’t-mask-his-autism-away son because 1) it can make light of a very serious disability by turning it into an identity (self-focused as opposed to thinking about how to help the disabled) 2) it effectively silences the voices of more disabled people on the spectrum and their caregivers 3) several psychiatric conditions can exist on a “spectrum” and it’s not clear what the line is for disorder and disability so the list of armchair diagnoses or psychs who just want $$ for diagnoses is endless 4) the most annoying in are those who use it as a cover for bragging about their “twice exceptional” or genius kids, or their own talents.
But, even though it it’s annoying for those of us who care for autistic children with greater needs (or is it children with autism with greater needs? I mean, they don’t care which it is….) I try to just accept that while it IS annoying to me, maybe it is a framework that can help some of those people sort through interpersonal problems or help with rigidity. |
Anonymous
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This is so ridiculous and offensive, and I think comes from living in a social media reality. This perceived problem exists on TikTok - I have seen those who self diagnose and claim they are Autistic etc. You have no idea who they actually are - they’re probably a combo of immature teen-adults, “high functioning” people who only appear to have minimal struggles because you see a 30 second snippet of their lives, liars, people who love the be the center of attention, etc etc.
I have been in this “world,” in real life, since my DD was diagnosed which was 10 years ago. I’ve read a lot of research, a lot of books, met a lot of kids and parents and professionals ad nauseum. This is who I have NEVER met: 1. A professional who gives an easy diagnoses (in fact, it took years to get our DD diagnosed despite the fact that she has severe food aversions, could not keep one friend, eloped, had echoloalia, had violent tantrums, and we could not do family outings because her behavior was so unpredictable). Several professionals were adamant my child didn’t have autism. Even convinced me. Until one finally suggested the ADOS. 2. Someone with a ASD-1 diagnosis who is “fully functional.” (See above list of my child’s deficits that have only gotten more marked with age. Add extreme EF issues, inability to keep herself clean, inability to succeed in public schoil, etc) 3. An adult who got a diagnosis following their kids diagnosis that gleefully announces their Autism to either be accommodated or appear “cool” or “quirky.” 4. A NT person who thinks Autism is “cool” or “quirky” and treats the individual better for it (in fact, quite the opposite). I am not clear how I feel about the discourse between parents of those labeled “high functioning” and those with non-speaking/intellectually disabled children who will always be fully dependent. If I had a child who fell into that category I might feel resentful too that the diagnosis lumps everyone together. But I can say from personal experience that my DD and DH have profound difficulties that vastly affect their daily lives. DH has masked and compensated so well that only those who have lived with him understand this. Others may think he’s a little quirky or strange. DD has suffered repeated trauma, has been rejected repeatedly by close friends, and is discriminated against on a daily basis - sometimes by people who, because she looks relatively “normal” and is fully able to communicate in a sophisticated way, assume she is rude/dumb/hostile/clumsy/picky…..you name the negative adjective. She has horrible meltdowns where she loses control of herself, destroys things and sometimes hurts herself and then feels crippling remorse after. She’s been rejected by a grandmother (and my husbands entire side of the family) who thinks she’s a behavior problem and blatantly pretends she doesn’t exist and blames us (her parents) for lack of discipline so has also alienated us. Not a physical disability, no. And she’s not in a wheelchair or needs diapers. But pretty painful nonetheless. Sometimes I feel like we might get more compassion if her disability is as more visible. |
Anonymous
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who would WANT to be diagnosed with autism?
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Anonymous
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I posted earlier agreeing with OP, and I feel like the disagreers and agreers are talking about two separate things.
No one is arguing that adults who meet the criteria for an autism diagnosis are just "quirky" or need to just continue masking and being miserable. (I posted erroneously we are all on a spectrum, which i intended as a figure of speech - I was referring to how many people have autistic traits without having autism spectrum disorder and conflate the two). I think we all understand that it would be extra challenging to navigate adult life with autism or to be married to/parented by someone with autism, even if it is mild. Many of us on this board have children with disabilities, and we are particularly attuned to some of those challenges. What we agreers are saying is that the autism diagnosis has gone from stigmatized to celebrated in certain circles, and certain people are increasingly using the diagnosis to make excuses for their behavior and/or self-aggrandize on social media. They are either erroneously self-diagnosing, or they are looking for doctors who have a very expansive understanding of Type 1 autism. I think a large part is just the change in definitions under the DSM and hope for more clarity in coming years. |
Anonymous
And you are ignoring the fact that that’s not the kind of person the OP’s talking about. |
Anonymous
What is “invisible” ASD? |