Why am I so annoyed by all these fully functional adults getting diagnosed with Autism?

[Anonymous]

I think you all are missing the point here. And maybe confusing what these people think makes them “Autistic”.

For example-a real quote from a social media person who recently got diagnosed (very popular early 30s mom of 2). “Because of my Autism I will eat the same thing every single day”-as she prepares a very healthy sandwich with about 15 ingredients. it’s widely known that some individuals with Autism have food aversions/very limited foods they will eat. But that’s not the same as having a preference for a very elaborate recipe you get obsessed with and want to eat all the time. I do this too, and so do many people I know. But it’s like a little extra flair these folks like to add to make themselves more interesting.

[Anonymous]

I wish there were separate diagnoses, OP. Sort of like there once were. I say this as the exW of a functioning man and a parent to a very well functioning DS. Those two are DEFinitely 'not like me.' OTOH, they are DEFinitely not profoundly incapacitated. We didn't even bother to get DS services, in fact. He just muddles through, like they used to do in 1986.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Both my husband and son have inattentive ADHD and high-functioning autism. You only see them when they're functional and masking, OP. You don't see the mess in my house, the missed appointments and constant tardiness, and the arguments that could easily be avoided if they remembered to do the things they were supposed to do and had the socio-emotional skills to control their anxiety and anger.

Yes, the spectrum has now widened to take such people into account. Know that they are very difficult to live with, even if they can earn money and hold a conversation with you.

Me again. And neither my husband or son, or any other people on the spectrum that I know, are going around telling everyone they have autism and asking for accommodations! My son had an IEP in school because of his ADHD. For most people, all this is embarrassing and they try to mask and fit in as much as possible.

But that’s not who we are talking about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you all are missing the point here. And maybe confusing what these people think makes them “Autistic”.

For example-a real quote from a social media person who recently got diagnosed (very popular early 30s mom of 2). “Because of my Autism I will eat the same thing every single day”-as she prepares a very healthy sandwich with about 15 ingredients. it’s widely known that some individuals with Autism have food aversions/very limited foods they will eat. But that’s not the same as having a preference for a very elaborate recipe you get obsessed with and want to eat all the time. I do this too, and so do many people I know. But it’s like a little extra flair these folks like to add to make themselves more interesting.

Oh, I see. Yes, my DS watches videos about people talking about ADHD - and so many of them are just normal things that everyone does. He watches these videos and says yes, I feel this and yes, I do this. And I want to stop him and say yes, lots/many/most people feel this and do this.

[Anonymous]

Wow. That’s tone deaf OP. I’ve enjoyed the sensitivity and help/advice I’ve received over the years on this subforum so no desire to argue with you. Sounds like you haven’t considered how difficult it can be to have “invisible” ASD characteristics where others just assume you are fully functioning. I in no way want to minimize your journey but the treatment your kid receives from others can be very different when those others clearly recognize the kid has a disability. Also, in our family it’s clear that ASD presentation can vary in severity between generations. Good luck. I sympathize with your struggles and hope for the best for your family

[Anonymous]

I don’t like loud noises. I don’t like weird substances in my hands that I have to touch. I don’t like to eat some very specific foods and I cut all the tags I can feel out of my clothes. If I were to walk into an office and tell someone who had the ability to diagnose all of this I can almost guarantee you I could walk out with an Autism diagnosis.

That’s the thing-everyone does some of these things/dislikes some of these things. It’s normal.

[Anonymous]

How do you know they are fully functional? You probably do not see the supports they have.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I mean, Elon Musk is undeniably successfully professionally but his personal life is the definition of dysfunctional. Do you think he's fine or that he's not fine?

There has long been a dividing line between autism that looks nonverbal or unable to have a conversation and autism that looks functional as long as you ignore XYZ. There are many people that think they should have two different names (including me). But I'm not denying that the latter is a real diagnosis. That it runs in my family, including in my DC. My DC is verbal and can hold a conversation (usually) but has real problems with XYZ. It's a real diagnosis, whatever the name.

I think this is what OP means. Musk has been able to have several long-term relationship and goes to social events where he regularly interacts with political leaders. He is far from socially dysfunctional. He is socially incredibly successful.

His choice to have many children is atypical and he may be abrasive but how can you really say he has “Persistent deficits in social communication and social interaction across multiple contexts” and that Symptoms cause clinically significant impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of current functioning.

[Anonymous]

Some of you need to step away from social media. Most people that post on social media are annoying. But they aren't actually doing anything to you or your kid or anyone else's kid, so stop letting them live rent free in your head. To take a couple of social media personalities and then make generalizations about adults with autism is beyond the pale.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you all are missing the point here. And maybe confusing what these people think makes them “Autistic”.

For example-a real quote from a social media person who recently got diagnosed (very popular early 30s mom of 2). “Because of my Autism I will eat the same thing every single day”-as she prepares a very healthy sandwich with about 15 ingredients. it’s widely known that some individuals with Autism have food aversions/very limited foods they will eat. But that’s not the same as having a preference for a very elaborate recipe you get obsessed with and want to eat all the time. I do this too, and so do many people I know. But it’s like a little extra flair these folks like to add to make themselves more interesting.

Oh, I see. Yes, my DS watches videos about people talking about ADHD - and so many of them are just normal things that everyone does. He watches these videos and says yes, I feel this and yes, I do this. And I want to stop him and say yes, lots/many/most people feel this and do this.

I've watched the videos too to see if I recognize anyone in my family. As for myself, not one single thing they name in the videos matches me. Quite the opposite.

[Anonymous]

I know what you’re talking about OP. It’s people who grasp onto the fun quirky side of a diagnosis and make it a social media thing. I’ve seen so many TikTok’s from creators calling themselves neurospicy and whatnot. I think it’s the fact they are taking a diagnosis that is legitimately devastating for many people and making it into a “fun” identity. And maybe they really are on the spectrum, but it feels tone deaf.

Like I had a kid who spent 3 days in the NICU after birth. And it was legit scary at the time. My experience is real. But I also wouldn’t go adopt an identity as a “NICU” mom like a friend of mine who had a very premie baby who now has lifelong disabilities. She shares a lot go fundraiser stuff and sometimes their struggles on social media. It would be weird if I was using that identity for social media content. And I agree with a PP who says if everyone is diagnosed then the diagnosis stops meaning anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some of you need to step away from social media. Most people that post on social media are annoying. But they aren't actually doing anything to you or your kid or anyone else's kid, so stop letting them live rent free in your head. To take a couple of social media personalities and then make generalizations about adults with autism is beyond the pale.

This. These people are social media influencers. They are outliers by definition. You know who keeps showing up on my page? Lots of Mormons. It would be super weird if I ranted about all the people becoming Mormon these days. Just step away if it’s bothering you, OP. Or change your algorithm.

[Anonymous]

I would support having a different term for ASD 1 versus levels 2 and 3. I think it would help everyone. My daughter has autism and doesn’t recognize herself at all in the level 3 boys at her school who are much more severely impacted. It’s bizarre to call both things autism.

[Anonymous]

Maybe there needs to be a dx for neurotypical.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some of you need to step away from social media. Most people that post on social media are annoying. But they aren't actually doing anything to you or your kid or anyone else's kid, so stop letting them live rent free in your head. To take a couple of social media personalities and then make generalizations about adults with autism is beyond the pale.

I don’t think it’s just a social media thing. There are a lot of mental health professionals ready to provide diagnoses based on very little information. Lots of them are active on social media themselves, or influenced by it, and have their own diagnoses.

So many therapists, psychologists, and psychiatrists doing telehealth now, just telling people whatever they want to hear and happily taking their money.

I have had a taste of this recently with my own family member and I’m not surprised, but also, wow. The state of mental health care is a little shocking when you see it close up.