Why am I so annoyed by all these fully functional adults getting diagnosed with Autism?

[Anonymous]

Half of my very successful mom friends are late diagnosed ADHD. We all connect on the same level and the supports we created for ourselves and routines led to a similar success and also similar ways of approaching home life. My DH is not at all that way and he doesn't get why I do things the way I do and he does not understand that I manage to function and have a good life because I figured out how to navigate it. Some things are much easier for him and some things are much easier for me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some of you need to step away from social media. Most people that post on social media are annoying. But they aren't actually doing anything to you or your kid or anyone else's kid, so stop letting them live rent free in your head. To take a couple of social media personalities and then make generalizations about adults with autism is beyond the pale.

I don’t think it’s just a social media thing. There are a lot of mental health professionals ready to provide diagnoses based on very little information. Lots of them are active on social media themselves, or influenced by it, and have their own diagnoses.

So many therapists, psychologists, and psychiatrists doing telehealth now, just telling people whatever they want to hear and happily taking their money.

I have had a taste of this recently with my own family member and I’m not surprised, but also, wow. The state of mental health care is a little shocking when you see it close up.

I would love to hear more details about these mental health professionals. We've interacted with multiple therapists and the trend I see is they don't want to diagnose autism themselves when they suspect it in someone. They refer to neuropsychologists.

[Anonymous]

Too many people working to achieve 100% mentally healthy status. Everyone has some oddities or weaknesses. I get that it is stressful but you’re sort of functioning.

However I’d really prefer more resources to the severely impacted people. Like can’t leave the house, not toilet trained, facing homelessness, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know what you’re talking about OP. It’s people who grasp onto the fun quirky side of a diagnosis and make it a social media thing. I’ve seen so many TikTok’s from creators calling themselves neurospicy and whatnot. I think it’s the fact they are taking a diagnosis that is legitimately devastating for many people and making it into a “fun” identity. And maybe they really are on the spectrum, but it feels tone deaf.

Like I had a kid who spent 3 days in the NICU after birth. And it was legit scary at the time. My experience is real. But I also wouldn’t go adopt an identity as a “NICU” mom like a friend of mine who had a very premie baby who now has lifelong disabilities. She shares a lot go fundraiser stuff and sometimes their struggles on social media. It would be weird if I was using that identity for social media content. And I agree with a PP who says if everyone is diagnosed then the diagnosis stops meaning anything.

100%. the “neuropspicy” stuff really drives me crazy. These people are just a little weird and all the sudden it’s their whole thing. It’s actually pretty gross. Also much of the time they just diagnosed themselves. It’s not like anyone is asking for proof.

The problem is the whole idea that Autism is some cool personality trait and not an actual real life every day struggle that people are living with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you thinking about ADHD and how they get prescribed performance meds to do better at work?

How does an ASD diagnosis change anything about it their life?

“Performance meds”?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some of you need to step away from social media. Most people that post on social media are annoying. But they aren't actually doing anything to you or your kid or anyone else's kid, so stop letting them live rent free in your head. To take a couple of social media personalities and then make generalizations about adults with autism is beyond the pale.

I don’t think it’s just a social media thing. There are a lot of mental health professionals ready to provide diagnoses based on very little information. Lots of them are active on social media themselves, or influenced by it, and have their own diagnoses.

So many therapists, psychologists, and psychiatrists doing telehealth now, just telling people whatever they want to hear and happily taking their money.

I have had a taste of this recently with my own family member and I’m not surprised, but also, wow. The state of mental health care is a little shocking when you see it close up.

Yes it’s this. a lot of it is fear. “I went in for help and this person refused to hear me”. They diagnose these adults because they know it’s why they are there and what they want. And they don’t want someone name shaming them for not getting what they want.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Too many people working to achieve 100% mentally healthy status. Everyone has some oddities or weaknesses. I get that it is stressful but you’re sort of functioning.

However I’d really prefer more resources to the severely impacted people. Like can’t leave the house, not toilet trained, facing homelessness, etc.

It seems like you are blaming autistic adults with lower support needs for the lack of sufficient resources for those with higher support needs. Why do you blame them? It's not their fault.

Fwiw my child's diagnosis makes me wonder if I am autistic (I'm not broadcasting this to anyone I know IRL) and it's a huge shift for me, a good one. It doesn't mean I think I am cool and quirky. I don't think I am cool or quirky at all. It might mean my brain works differently from most other people's and that's why social interactions are so hard for me. It means social expectations are based on brains that aren't like mine. Knowing this is possible makes me feel less ashamed of myself.

[Anonymous]

Btw my understanding is "spicy" autism actually refers to autism that results in high support needs. Not the people who allegedly think autism is some cool identity they can co-opt.

[Anonymous]

I'm sick of all these people wearing eyeglasses when they clearly aren't blind!

I know blind people. They walk with a cane and a dog. Stop running to your optometrist every time you can't read a word!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm sick of all these people wearing eyeglasses when they clearly aren't blind!

I know blind people. They walk with a cane and a dog. Stop running to your optometrist every time you can't read a word!

give me a break.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know what you’re talking about OP. It’s people who grasp onto the fun quirky side of a diagnosis and make it a social media thing. I’ve seen so many TikTok’s from creators calling themselves neurospicy and whatnot. I think it’s the fact they are taking a diagnosis that is legitimately devastating for many people and making it into a “fun” identity. And maybe they really are on the spectrum, but it feels tone deaf.

Like I had a kid who spent 3 days in the NICU after birth. And it was legit scary at the time. My experience is real. But I also wouldn’t go adopt an identity as a “NICU” mom like a friend of mine who had a very premie baby who now has lifelong disabilities. She shares a lot go fundraiser stuff and sometimes their struggles on social media. It would be weird if I was using that identity for social media content. And I agree with a PP who says if everyone is diagnosed then the diagnosis stops meaning anything.

100%. the “neuropspicy” stuff really drives me crazy. These people are just a little weird and all the sudden it’s their whole thing. It’s actually pretty gross. Also much of the time they just diagnosed themselves. It’s not like anyone is asking for proof.

The problem is the whole idea that Autism is some cool personality trait and not an actual real life every day struggle that people are living with.

It sounds like you think these people have some kind of mental illness or personality disorder. Hmm...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some of you need to step away from social media. Most people that post on social media are annoying. But they aren't actually doing anything to you or your kid or anyone else's kid, so stop letting them live rent free in your head. To take a couple of social media personalities and then make generalizations about adults with autism is beyond the pale.

I don’t think it’s just a social media thing. There are a lot of mental health professionals ready to provide diagnoses based on very little information. Lots of them are active on social media themselves, or influenced by it, and have their own diagnoses.

So many therapists, psychologists, and psychiatrists doing telehealth now, just telling people whatever they want to hear and happily taking their money.

I have had a taste of this recently with my own family member and I’m not surprised, but also, wow. The state of mental health care is a little shocking when you see it close up.

I would love to hear more details about these mental health professionals. We've interacted with multiple therapists and the trend I see is they don't want to diagnose autism themselves when they suspect it in someone. They refer to neuropsychologists.

Just look at any influencer doctor with over a million followers.

These are a totally normal representation of how regular professionals think and act right?

[Anonymous]

My sister was 40 when she was diagnosed with ASD. From the outside, she looked like a fully functional adult (masters degree, full time job, married with 3 kids, etc). The casual observer did not know how much she struggled in her day-to-day life and felt like something was wrong with her. She finally got a diagnosis when her mental health fell apart, resulting in the loss of both her job and her marriage. It was a huge relief to her to finally understand why her brain worked the way it did, but it was too late. She had so much internalized shame from years of feeling like there was something wrong with her and no clear answers.

I manage an organization of 250 people. We have several staff, mostly women, who have received ADHD and ASD diagnoses in recent years. I appreciate that they trust me to share their diagnosis and I provide appropriate accommodations to make our office a welcoming and accessible place to work. I think about my sister every day and what she went through in the workplace for years to guide and inspire me. I also have 2 children with ASD and I think about their futures, as well.

I understand it can feel incredibly hard to be seen when you have a child deeply impacted by ASD and most of the voices out there are people that need fewer supports. I hope we can create space for all voices and experiences.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t like loud noises. I don’t like weird substances in my hands that I have to touch. I don’t like to eat some very specific foods and I cut all the tags I can feel out of my clothes. If I were to walk into an office and tell someone who had the ability to diagnose all of this I can almost guarantee you I could walk out with an Autism diagnosis.

That’s the thing-everyone does some of these things/dislikes some of these things. It’s normal.

How many people do you think cut the tags out of their clothes? You are literally describing a hypersensitivity to something that the vast majority of people deal with unconcern.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Both my husband and son have inattentive ADHD and high-functioning autism. You only see them when they're functional and masking, OP. You don't see the mess in my house, the missed appointments and constant tardiness, and the arguments that could easily be avoided if they remembered to do the things they were supposed to do and had the socio-emotional skills to control their anxiety and anger.

Yes, the spectrum has now widened to take such people into account. Know that they are very difficult to live with, even if they can earn money and hold a conversation with you.

+1

Social media only shares one slice of a person’s life and not the whole picture.