How are you preparing your children for downward mobility?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are planning to pay for their college, wedding, down payments. In addition to this we have two rental properties in a highly desirable area, each property generates 6k/month, they will get one each to help with their lifestyle plus a 5 mil inheritance after we pass. In addition to this, teaching them that life is expensive and they should pick high paying career options and manage their money well, even after doing all this there is always luck. Parents always want the best for their children but luck is a factor we can't control. At the end of the day, may they be healthy and happy wherever they are.

You have no idea how much they will inherit. They aren’t even in college yet so you’re not near retirement. A lot can happen in the meantime.

I would suggest they find something they love as a career.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think about this a lot. The odds all 3 of my kids (or even just 1 of them) achieve the success of DH and I is minuscule. We come from rural MC families so we have a value system aligned with hard work, good education, lots of hustle that I hope sinks in but we live in a huge house and take amazing vacations all the time. The best I can do is teach them about personal finance and being a good person. And to not count on us for money (though I bet we’ll be the grandparents paying for private school tuition like I read about all the time on these boards).

Not everyone wants a large house. Not everyone likes to travel. Not everyone strives for UMC.

Why can’t they count on you for money or help? The biggest part of community is family. A down payment on a house is much more important than private school tuition which isn’t a necessary.

Because if they think they can bank on our money, they won’t be motivated. I don’t want them moving home or not working. I want them to be happy, healthy and productive members of society, which means having some ambition. Maybe they don’t want big houses or private schools for their families someday and that’s fine. But I don’t want them to drop out of college or make bad decisions bc they think they have an unlimited safety net of money.

[Anonymous]

My kids weren't born on third base, so there's still room to grow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kids weren't born on third base, so there's still room to grow.

LOL this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think this is a real possibility, not a semi sarcastic question. For the vast majority of us. The current system is untenable.

I’m teaching my kids to work hard and be flexible. My DH and I are awkward nerds who never networked. I’ll be teaching my kid to be better at that. We will probably never be good at it but he can improve on my zero level lol.

I’d rather have a good relationship with my kids than try to mold them into walking achievements that will secure ever diminishing spots in the UMC. Flexibility and understanding the need for multiple income streams may serve them better. Practical skills like cooking too.

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Whoever made the comment about interior America being dumb is on the money. As an immigrant, I always tell people that there are "two americas": the coasts and anywhere else. I was shocked when I moved to DC as to how sophisticated people were compared to the southern state I was living in.

There are still some brilliant folks in the midwest and south (of course!) especially in the urban pockets. Plenty. But speaking in averages, think about an "average" person, and now realize that a whole 50% are below that person. To varying degrees (in intellect, savvy, hustle, plain common sense). So on average, the kids in DC (and the kids of parents on this board) are largely going to be highly successful because even the most average (OF THIS AREA) is leaps and bounds above the lower stats folks who didn't move to the coasts, or aren't the 1%ers in their own area.

Just saying, don't worry so much. There are tons of people out there who will be getting your fries. That's not going to change.

[Anonymous]

Answering the original question - we spend more time with working class relatives. This was sort of an accident of fate, but it really has occurred to me that it's good in that way.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like no one here is really considering it to be likely.

[Anonymous]

I’m raising my daughter to value people over things, and intellectual life rather than “influencer” life. She understands that we can buy books, but when we borrow them from the Library we’re supporting institutions that support our values. If in 45 years she can’t afford books then she’ll know the support of those institutions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think about this a lot. The odds all 3 of my kids (or even just 1 of them) achieve the success of DH and I is minuscule. We come from rural MC families so we have a value system aligned with hard work, good education, lots of hustle that I hope sinks in but we live in a huge house and take amazing vacations all the time. The best I can do is teach them about personal finance and being a good person. And to not count on us for money (though I bet we’ll be the grandparents paying for private school tuition like I read about all the time on these boards).

Not everyone wants a large house. Not everyone likes to travel. Not everyone strives for UMC.

Why can’t they count on you for money or help? The biggest part of community is family. A down payment on a house is much more important than private school tuition which isn’t a necessary.

Because if they think they can bank on our money, they won’t be motivated. I don’t want them moving home or not working. I want them to be happy, healthy and productive members of society, which means having some ambition. Maybe they don’t want big houses or private schools for their families someday and that’s fine. But I don’t want them to drop out of college or make bad decisions bc they think they have an unlimited safety net of money.

My personal experience as a young adult and currently , my teen kids, experience with young adults of friends in their 20s and 30s so far none of them have lost motivation except a couple with drug problems but you can’t blame the money because drugs happen to kids money or not.

The teens and young adults I know have jobs, some low paid, some ok paid, or they are in school. They are productive and the money saves them from having to move home. It doesn’t have to be unlimited money. I just don’t see it being a negative.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think about this a lot. The odds all 3 of my kids (or even just 1 of them) achieve the success of DH and I is minuscule. We come from rural MC families so we have a value system aligned with hard work, good education, lots of hustle that I hope sinks in but we live in a huge house and take amazing vacations all the time. The best I can do is teach them about personal finance and being a good person. And to not count on us for money (though I bet we’ll be the grandparents paying for private school tuition like I read about all the time on these boards).

Not everyone wants a large house. Not everyone likes to travel. Not everyone strives for UMC.

Why can’t they count on you for money or help? The biggest part of community is family. A down payment on a house is much more important than private school tuition which isn’t a necessary.

Because if they think they can bank on our money, they won’t be motivated. I don’t want them moving home or not working. I want them to be happy, healthy and productive members of society, which means having some ambition. Maybe they don’t want big houses or private schools for their families someday and that’s fine. But I don’t want them to drop out of college or make bad decisions bc they think they have an unlimited safety net of money.

I don't understand this mentality. I grew up on the wealthy end of UMC. My parents made it clear that we would always have a roof over our heads and food to eat in their home, and the question of motivation to build our own lives/careers just never came up. They worried we might not make the optimal career choices etc, but they just never worried that we'd want to do nothing with our lives. Those weren't values they raised us with.

If you are seriously concerned your kids will not try to build their own life if they can live in your home instead, then you've got a lot of other parenting issues to contend with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Whoever made the comment about interior America being dumb is on the money. As an immigrant, I always tell people that there are "two americas": the coasts and anywhere else. I was shocked when I moved to DC as to how sophisticated people were compared to the southern state I was living in.

Bigot

Noun
a person who is obstinately or unreasonably attached to a belief, opinion, or faction, especially one who is prejudiced against or antagonistic toward a person or people on the basis of their membership of a particular group.

Lol no pp. Just no. Being a "member of a specific group" does not mean one lives in middle America. Are you by chance from the Midwest? 🤣🤣🤣

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Whoever made the comment about interior America being dumb is on the money. As an immigrant, I always tell people that there are "two americas": the coasts and anywhere else. I was shocked when I moved to DC as to how sophisticated people were compared to the southern state I was living in.

Bigot

Noun
a person who is obstinately or unreasonably attached to a belief, opinion, or faction, especially one who is prejudiced against or antagonistic toward a person or people on the basis of their membership of a particular group.

Lol no pp. Just no. Being a "member of a specific group" does not mean one lives in middle America. Are you by chance from the Midwest? 🤣🤣🤣

+1
We don't need to be so sensitive, guys. It's why we left. I could never imagine moving back there. Could you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Teach your kids to work hard and not expect everything to be given to them. Plenty of kids and/will/are succeeding. No need to prepare for downward mobility if kids are hungry like kids used to be.

There will be no jobs that’s what you voted for
You voted for slaves as workers
Mr Apartheid is Mr Skelton crew no benefits
For gods sake your children will have no social security no heath care
Project 2025 men head of household what the hell do you think your daughter lives are going to be like with Musk and c sections only white baby farms ?.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just do what all the other Boomers are currently doing— finance your kids’ lives until you die and they inherit your wealth.

Parents of kids now are not Boomers, dude. We're younger than that. And, newsflash, you're an adult now. You're the grownup.