How are you preparing your children for downward mobility?

[Anonymous]

I think that setting expectations is important.

For example, I purposefully got the cheapest tickets to the Taylor Swift concert (yes, already a privilege) while their friends were getting floor tickets. I didn't want them to be spoiled and set the bar so high that anything "less" is disappointing.

They are expected to work in high school when they can and we divert money to savings, have opened up a Roth IRA, etc.

I only buy pricey brands for them at Christmas. Otherwise, they need to pay for it themselves or sometimes I will pay "up to x dollars", whatever I think is reasonable for leggings, etc.

We rarely eat out or get take out, cooking most meals at home.

We have one car and use public transportation.

I think the biggest thing that is hard to prepare for is stress about money and how to cope with that. While we have a budget, the kids have never truly had to "go without." I think in the early post-college years it is best to not supplement except for rare things (family vacation) so they learn how to make hard choices.

[Anonymous]

We are upward mobile right now as immigrants. My kids are naturally easy going and don't really want much.This allows me to save and invest a lot for them already. I see us growing money for decades unless something catastrophic happens.
I can't promise what the future grand-kids will do with the money.
I have two really cool boys with EU passports that can be handed down for generations. I will be a hands off MIL and probably disappearing to EU as it's cheaper to be an old lady there.
I'm not worried about my kids one bit. I think they have awesome lives ahead of them.

[Anonymous]

I’m not sure my kids will be downward. I grew up poor and now we are rich. I tried not to spoil my kids but they are rich in experiences. My teens have been all over the world. I took them to all the places I was never able to go to as a child and young adult. I’m sure they will land somewhere in the middle and that is fine. I just want them to be happy.

[Anonymous]

Whoever made the comment about interior America being dumb is on the money. As an immigrant, I always tell people that there are "two americas": the coasts and anywhere else. I was shocked when I moved to DC as to how sophisticated people were compared to the southern state I was living in.

[Anonymous]

Teach kids to be kind and connect. Community exists everywhere, and is a source of Happiness. Teach kids to find hobbies they enjoy like thrifting.

Kids killing themselves at Sidwell do so out of fear that life a rung down is necessarily worse. It isn’t.

[Anonymous]

I am downwardly mobile and I don’t think it requires any special skills or training. If my kids take after me they will just adjust as I did.

Everyone gets as much money as they need and deserve in this life. I needed and deserved less than my parents, my children may need/deserve less than me. Not a problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Teach kids to be kind and connect. Community exists everywhere, and is a source of Happiness. Teach kids to find hobbies they enjoy like thrifting.

Kids killing themselves at Sidwell do so out of fear that life a rung down is necessarily worse. It isn’t.

This. My neighbor is consumed with guilt that he couldn’t afford a fancy private school for his kids like he attended. The kids are fine and happy and he’s still upset about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Whoever made the comment about interior America being dumb is on the money. As an immigrant, I always tell people that there are "two americas": the coasts and anywhere else. I was shocked when I moved to DC as to how sophisticated people were compared to the southern state I was living in.

People in DC grew up in the middle of the country. It’s more transient than other areas.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Whoever made the comment about interior America being dumb is on the money. As an immigrant, I always tell people that there are "two americas": the coasts and anywhere else. I was shocked when I moved to DC as to how sophisticated people were compared to the southern state I was living in.

People in DC grew up in the middle of the country. It’s more transient than other areas.

Yes, they are the smart people who fled those areas. Exactly my point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not a week goes by without someone posting about how they discovered their Chevy Chase neighbors are living in their parents’ house or having their kids’ fancy private school paid by the grandparents.

There is no need to “prepare” because this is what people will be doing. The generationally wealthy will stay wealthy, just as they have always done.

Generational wealth does a significant amount of heavy lifting for people. Paying for college and the gift down payments some people get are a massive boost. When you come from a poor family it ends up going the other way around where you have to subsidize your parents (way more common that you would like to think).

[Anonymous]

We live way beneath our means while somewhat hiding the wealth from our kids. So they are used to a pretty normal life but will graduate college debt free and have downpayment help. They will also inherit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Whoever made the comment about interior America being dumb is on the money. As an immigrant, I always tell people that there are "two americas": the coasts and anywhere else. I was shocked when I moved to DC as to how sophisticated people were compared to the southern state I was living in.

Bigot

Noun
a person who is obstinately or unreasonably attached to a belief, opinion, or faction, especially one who is prejudiced against or antagonistic toward a person or people on the basis of their membership of a particular group.

[Anonymous]

We are planning to pay for their college, wedding, down payments. In addition to this we have two rental properties in a highly desirable area, each property generates 6k/month, they will get one each to help with their lifestyle plus a 5 mil inheritance after we pass. In addition to this, teaching them that life is expensive and they should pick high paying career options and manage their money well, even after doing all this there is always luck. Parents always want the best for their children but luck is a factor we can't control. At the end of the day, may they be healthy and happy wherever they are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think about this a lot. The odds all 3 of my kids (or even just 1 of them) achieve the success of DH and I is minuscule. We come from rural MC families so we have a value system aligned with hard work, good education, lots of hustle that I hope sinks in but we live in a huge house and take amazing vacations all the time. The best I can do is teach them about personal finance and being a good person. And to not count on us for money (though I bet we’ll be the grandparents paying for private school tuition like I read about all the time on these boards).

Not everyone wants a large house. Not everyone likes to travel. Not everyone strives for UMC.

Why can’t they count on you for money or help? The biggest part of community is family. A down payment on a house is much more important than private school tuition which isn’t a necessary.

[Anonymous]

We are regular middle class, so we are still preparing for upward mobility.