Drinking and Drugs at Private Schools - I need advice

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All the schools have drinking and drugs. The privates and public kids party together. More drinking culture in public from my observation and more drugs in private. Both are heavily into vaping these days, girls do it for weight loss. The eating culture is a whole other problem teens have these days. Some schools in DC (NW) have a huge party scene with parents allowing it in their homes. You can't escape it and hopefully you'll be able to keep an eye on your kids and teach them well.

You can escape it, as other posters have noted. Plenty of kids don't party.

[Anonymous]

Drugs and alcohol at all schools. Some Parents are complicit allowing it in their houses..communication is key. In HS it’s hard to meet parents bc the teens want independence but do yourself a favor and reach out to the parents where the kids hang out and ask questions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I also have boys. We've always been very open and matter-of-fact about this sort of thing. The two biggest drivers of addiction tend to be 1) a genetic susceptibility to substance abuse - meaning check the family tree; and 2) age of first use. But, we also explained that genetics are not destiny. The brain adapts and changes according to its environment. If a 14 year old kid with a family history of alcohol or drug abuse begins to experiment with drinking and vaping and drugs and so on, that child is likely screwed and will face a lifetime of addiction issues. This is because there is so much going on in the adolescent brain that when you introduce drugs and alcohol to kids who already have a genetic predisposition to addiction, it often rewires the brain and derails normal development.

But if that same 14 year old waits until they're over 21, when the brain is more mature, then generally it will be perfectly safe to have an occasional drink or whatever. Particularly if they've grown up in a safe, loving, and supportive environment. Their family tree might be a disaster, but they won't be because they waited until the brain was more fully developed and over the years they've learned to enjoy and deal with life without resorting to substances to mediate how they feel.

Knock on wood. So far, so good. They know what addiction is and how it can destroy lives. They're both in college now and totally normal. Neither ever drank or used drugs or vaped in high school. But in college they seem to be pretty normal. The oldest has an occasional beer. The youngest doesn't like it. Neither do any drugs. They're both gym rats and runners and extremely fit. Neither has displayed any proclivity towards substance abuse. And I think that's entirely because we really explained how vulnerable they were to addiction given the family tree. And we drilled that early - like beginning of middle school. There's no avoiding drugs or alcohol in any high school. All you can give them is the information they need to make their own decisions.

I and everyone I went to high school with did drugs and drank in high school. My parents had addiction issues. I don’t drink most of the time as an adult. There’s no actual support for your beliefs here. Some possible slight increases in risk aren’t fait accompoli.

Children of alcoholics are four times more likely to have alcohol addiction problems themselves. It’s not an unreasonable thing for OP to be aware of and inform their children about.

This is true. There have been many studies done on this and there is a definite genetic predisposition to addiction and it can skip a generation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I also have boys. We've always been very open and matter-of-fact about this sort of thing. The two biggest drivers of addiction tend to be 1) a genetic susceptibility to substance abuse - meaning check the family tree; and 2) age of first use. But, we also explained that genetics are not destiny. The brain adapts and changes according to its environment. If a 14 year old kid with a family history of alcohol or drug abuse begins to experiment with drinking and vaping and drugs and so on, that child is likely screwed and will face a lifetime of addiction issues. This is because there is so much going on in the adolescent brain that when you introduce drugs and alcohol to kids who already have a genetic predisposition to addiction, it often rewires the brain and derails normal development.

But if that same 14 year old waits until they're over 21, when the brain is more mature, then generally it will be perfectly safe to have an occasional drink or whatever. Particularly if they've grown up in a safe, loving, and supportive environment. Their family tree might be a disaster, but they won't be because they waited until the brain was more fully developed and over the years they've learned to enjoy and deal with life without resorting to substances to mediate how they feel.

Knock on wood. So far, so good. They know what addiction is and how it can destroy lives. They're both in college now and totally normal. Neither ever drank or used drugs or vaped in high school. But in college they seem to be pretty normal. The oldest has an occasional beer. The youngest doesn't like it. Neither do any drugs. They're both gym rats and runners and extremely fit. Neither has displayed any proclivity towards substance abuse. And I think that's entirely because we really explained how vulnerable they were to addiction given the family tree. And we drilled that early - like beginning of middle school. There's no avoiding drugs or alcohol in any high school. All you can give them is the information they need to make their own decisions.

I and everyone I went to high school with did drugs and drank in high school. My parents had addiction issues. I don’t drink most of the time as an adult. There’s no actual support for your beliefs here. Some possible slight increases in risk aren’t fait accompoli.

Children of alcoholics are four times more likely to have alcohol addiction problems themselves. It’s not an unreasonable thing for OP to be aware of and inform their children about.

This is true. There have been many studies done on this and there is a definite genetic predisposition to addiction and it can skip a generation.

I partly think this is sometimes due to the child of an alcoholic being super careful themselves after all the pain and suffering they see and feel, but the grandchild doesn't get the exposure. We tell our kids about this but I know the impact can't nearly be as strong without the ability to see their grandparent's demise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I went to NCS and most of my classmates did not use drugs. There was the crowd that hung out in the bishops garden smoking pot and senior year some of the "popular" rich kids (the lifer/spring valley/went to dancing school/country club types), but I never saw it.

Maret and GDS and Burke had reputations for being very drug-gy.

I think the more rigorous the better because then you attract more serious kids, whereas the less rigorous schools are more likely to attract more slacker-ish/partying/rich kid types.

She has three boys so commenting on NCS doesn’t seem to be particularly helpful…or correct for the current times. I have an US at the school and drinking is rampant. It’s definitely not a weed school (more of that at GDS, Sidwell, STA) but there is some cocaine use. A few years ago, a middle schooler had to go to rehab…just awful for the family.

I would like to point out that illicit drugs and alcohol may not be your biggest problem…many kids misue prescription drugs, particularly those for ADHD, and especially at rigorous schools. A boy at Sidwell died a few years ago misusing what he thought were clean ADHD meds but had fentanyl.

You are right to be concerned…

My kids are at Cathedral schools and drugs are not prevalent in our experience. The popular crowd may drink but not do drugs. I would say there are many kids that do not drink or do drugs at all. Most actually do not start attending parties until senior year in our experience.

Wow you have no clue. Parties and drinking happen much earlier than senior year at NCS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I went to NCS and most of my classmates did not use drugs. There was the crowd that hung out in the bishops garden smoking pot and senior year some of the "popular" rich kids (the lifer/spring valley/went to dancing school/country club types), but I never saw it.

Maret and GDS and Burke had reputations for being very drug-gy.

I think the more rigorous the better because then you attract more serious kids, whereas the less rigorous schools are more likely to attract more slacker-ish/partying/rich kid types.

She has three boys so commenting on NCS doesn’t seem to be particularly helpful…or correct for the current times. I have an US at the school and drinking is rampant. It’s definitely not a weed school (more of that at GDS, Sidwell, STA) but there is some cocaine use. A few years ago, a middle schooler had to go to rehab…just awful for the family.

I would like to point out that illicit drugs and alcohol may not be your biggest problem…many kids misue prescription drugs, particularly those for ADHD, and especially at rigorous schools. A boy at Sidwell died a few years ago misusing what he thought were clean ADHD meds but had fentanyl.

You are right to be concerned…

My kids are at Cathedral schools and drugs are not prevalent in our experience. The popular crowd may drink but not do drugs. I would say there are many kids that do not drink or do drugs at all. Most actually do not start attending parties until senior year in our experience.

Wow you have no clue. Parties and drinking happen much earlier than senior year at NCS.

They do at STA too

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I went to NCS and most of my classmates did not use drugs. There was the crowd that hung out in the bishops garden smoking pot and senior year some of the "popular" rich kids (the lifer/spring valley/went to dancing school/country club types), but I never saw it.

Maret and GDS and Burke had reputations for being very drug-gy.

I think the more rigorous the better because then you attract more serious kids, whereas the less rigorous schools are more likely to attract more slacker-ish/partying/rich kid types.

She has three boys so commenting on NCS doesn’t seem to be particularly helpful…or correct for the current times. I have an US at the school and drinking is rampant. It’s definitely not a weed school (more of that at GDS, Sidwell, STA) but there is some cocaine use. A few years ago, a middle schooler had to go to rehab…just awful for the family.

I would like to point out that illicit drugs and alcohol may not be your biggest problem…many kids misue prescription drugs, particularly those for ADHD, and especially at rigorous schools. A boy at Sidwell died a few years ago misusing what he thought were clean ADHD meds but had fentanyl.

You are right to be concerned…

My kids are at Cathedral schools and drugs are not prevalent in our experience. The popular crowd may drink but not do drugs. I would say there are many kids that do not drink or do drugs at all. Most actually do not start attending parties until senior year in our experience.

Wow you have no clue. Parties and drinking happen much earlier than senior year at NCS.

Parent of an US in a cathedral school, yes drinking is happening with 9-12 graders, 100%. I wasn’t aware of any drinking before 9th although I’m certain it happens. I know of at least four parties a few weeks ago with alcohol following homecoming at NCS. At private homes. Not all the kids are participating but it’s definitely happening.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They all have a drinking and/or drug culture to some degree—most all privates and public schools. It might be less of an issue at certain area boarding schools, like Episcopal, but I’m not certain. St Anselms Abbey might be another possibility. BASIS in McLean perhaps?

Attending St Albans as a boarding student while coming home on the weekends, or certain weekends, is another possibility.

I have friends that work at Episcopal and there are definitely drugs on campus. They are mailed to students.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All the schools have drinking and drugs. The privates and public kids party together. More drinking culture in public from my observation and more drugs in private. Both are heavily into vaping these days, girls do it for weight loss. The eating culture is a whole other problem teens have these days. Some schools in DC (NW) have a huge party scene with parents allowing it in their homes. You can't escape it and hopefully you'll be able to keep an eye on your kids and teach them well.

You can escape it, as other posters have noted. Plenty of kids don't party.

How sad

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All the schools have drinking and drugs. The privates and public kids party together. More drinking culture in public from my observation and more drugs in private. Both are heavily into vaping these days, girls do it for weight loss. The eating culture is a whole other problem teens have these days. Some schools in DC (NW) have a huge party scene with parents allowing it in their homes. You can't escape it and hopefully you'll be able to keep an eye on your kids and teach them well.

You can escape it, as other posters have noted. Plenty of kids don't party.

How sad

It’s sad if high schoolers choose not to drink or do drugs? Interesting take.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All the schools have drinking and drugs. The privates and public kids party together. More drinking culture in public from my observation and more drugs in private. Both are heavily into vaping these days, girls do it for weight loss. The eating culture is a whole other problem teens have these days. Some schools in DC (NW) have a huge party scene with parents allowing it in their homes. You can't escape it and hopefully you'll be able to keep an eye on your kids and teach them well.

You can escape it, as other posters have noted. Plenty of kids don't party.

How sad

Childish.

[Anonymous]

Starts in 9th and there is bro culture and taking advantage of drunk girls culture with a school that begins with an M.

[Anonymous]

Maybe St. Andrews?

[Anonymous]

It may be to your kids' advantage that they learn to handle being around some of this in HS when you are around vs at college when they are on their own. Many privates have alcohol & drug seminars or symposiums where parents are encouraged to attend. You should definitely go and keep the dialog very open at home.

[Anonymous]

Our kids went to Bishop O’Connell, and our oldest son ended some friendships due to the kids doing drugs (not pot). Yes, he was one of the cool/popular kids.