Toxic Masculinity

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would define it as men who are insecure about their own masculinity so they overcompensate by acting in what they feel is a stereotypical masculine way bullying men they feel are inferior and demeaning and not treating women as equals. This has nothing to do with how men fall on a spectrum of typical "manly" jobs, behavior or style preferences.

And this is something that fathers and older brothers pass down to their sons and that boys copy. I see my DD’s elementary school-aged male classmates picking up on language and attitudes from older boys, which clearly comes from even older boys and their parents. The constant need for men to compare themselves to each other and then try to rise up in the pecking order is a distinctly male thing. Women compare but then try to change themselves to reflect who they want to be like. Men compare and then try to kill/go faster than/beat/outearn/outspend whoever they’re comparing themselves to.

The boys in DD’s class can’t even walk down the hallway without making it into a competition, trash talking, announcing the results, and then insulting whoever didn’t win. Not being able to go through a single moment of the day without worrying about your competition is at the root toxic masculinity. The non-toxic men I know are either naturally at the very top of the pecking order or have the maturity and quiet confidence to decide that they don’t want to play the game and have sidestepped it to do things on their own terms. They’re few and far between.

Everyone else is engaged in a d—k measuring contest.

This isn’t toxic masculinity. Boys actually aren’t girls. I know that’s shocking.

Using the male gender as an excuse for innately bad behavior actually is toxic masculinity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Boys need to be raised to be more sensitive.

Yes, Russia and China are counting on this. Thanks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The real root of this problem is male-only sports teams. These need to go away.

I mean, I’m fine with that. It’s going to be hilarious watching 310 lb offensive linemen hit 120 lb female defensive tackles! Sign me up for a season pass!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread is stupid.

Headache inducing-stupid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would define it as men who are insecure about their own masculinity so they overcompensate by acting in what they feel is a stereotypical masculine way bullying men they feel are inferior and demeaning and not treating women as equals. This has nothing to do with how men fall on a spectrum of typical "manly" jobs, behavior or style preferences.

And this is something that fathers and older brothers pass down to their sons and that boys copy. I see my DD’s elementary school-aged male classmates picking up on language and attitudes from older boys, which clearly comes from even older boys and their parents. The constant need for men to compare themselves to each other and then try to rise up in the pecking order is a distinctly male thing. Women compare but then try to change themselves to reflect who they want to be like. Men compare and then try to kill/go faster than/beat/outearn/outspend whoever they’re comparing themselves to.

The boys in DD’s class can’t even walk down the hallway without making it into a competition, trash talking, announcing the results, and then insulting whoever didn’t win. Not being able to go through a single moment of the day without worrying about your competition is at the root toxic masculinity. The non-toxic men I know are either naturally at the very top of the pecking order or have the maturity and quiet confidence to decide that they don’t want to play the game and have sidestepped it to do things on their own terms. They’re few and far between.

Everyone else is engaged in a d—k measuring contest.

Better that than smirking at each other, rolling eyes, belittling, telling other girls how ugly they are, and doing everything they can get away with to be unspeakably cruel without the teacher noticing. I will take the boys and their healthy competition over what the girls are doing.

[Anonymous]

Toxic masculinity is "solved" the same way racism would be: by the dominant group sitting down and shutting up long enough to understand the concerns of other groups, and by space being yielded by dominant groups for other groups to be seen/heard/considered. Groups in power will see this approach as "soft". Smart people will see the people who see growth opportunities as "soft" as the brittle, easily-fractured fossils they've made themselves.

Toxic masculinity isn't sustainable because it limits and wounds MEN. As soon as men start to understand and internalize that, toxic masculinity will go away. We are not there yet, and the vocal minority begging for the status quo/toxic dynamic(s) gets awfully loud on the internet.

The good news is: in real life, most people are teachable.

[Anonymous]

Way too much anti-male bias in the left-wing, progressive world these days.

[Anonymous]

I still feel there is value in educating girls to recognize and avoid men who display the telltale signs of toxic masculinity.

Nevertheless, the onus is clearly on men to change/alter/correct their behaviors. Western culture defines specific characteristics to fit the patriarchal ideal masculine construct. The socialization of masculine ideals starts in boys’ at a young age and defines ideal masculinity as related to toughness, stoicism, heterosexism, self-sufficient attitudes and lack of emotional sensitivity and of connectedness. Boys learn to be men from the men in their lives, from their own experiences navigating our social norms, and from the large social and cultural context. Boys live under intensified pressure to display so-called gender-appropriate behaviors according to an anachronistic ideal male code.

Looking at the development of aggression throughout childhood, we know that not only do aggressive behaviors can emerge at an early age, they also tend to persist over time, without early prevention intervention. The socialization of the male characteristics mentioned above also onsets at an early age making it a prime time-period for prevention intervention.

What specific parenting techniques can we turn employ, to thwart toxic masculinity?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would define it as men who are insecure about their own masculinity so they overcompensate by acting in what they feel is a stereotypical masculine way bullying men they feel are inferior and demeaning and not treating women as equals. This has nothing to do with how men fall on a spectrum of typical "manly" jobs, behavior or style preferences.

And this is something that fathers and older brothers pass down to their sons and that boys copy. I see my DD’s elementary school-aged male classmates picking up on language and attitudes from older boys, which clearly comes from even older boys and their parents. The constant need for men to compare themselves to each other and then try to rise up in the pecking order is a distinctly male thing. Women compare but then try to change themselves to reflect who they want to be like. Men compare and then try to kill/go faster than/beat/outearn/outspend whoever they’re comparing themselves to.

The boys in DD’s class can’t even walk down the hallway without making it into a competition, trash talking, announcing the results, and then insulting whoever didn’t win. Not being able to go through a single moment of the day without worrying about your competition is at the root toxic masculinity. The non-toxic men I know are either naturally at the very top of the pecking order or have the maturity and quiet confidence to decide that they don’t want to play the game and have sidestepped it to do things on their own terms. They’re few and far between.

Everyone else is engaged in a d—k measuring contest.

This isn’t toxic masculinity. Boys actually aren’t girls. I know that’s shocking.

Not all boys act like this so it’s not actually a “boy” thing.

It’s a some boys thing. Nurture or nature. Many boys learn it. Some innately do it… that’s evolution.

Some boys act like this because they are more primal and less evolved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you believe that toxic masculinity is a real thing, what are your thoughts on how to address it? Besides raising boys better what can we do? How do you confront it when it presents itself in your life?

The current world affairs are sad and supportive of mental health disorders. Gen Z males are addicted to nicotine from a USB, can’t stop fapping, and have broken moral codes. We’re better off with masculine masculinity than emasculated losers

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is stupid.

Headache inducing-stupid.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I still feel there is value in educating girls to recognize and avoid men who display the telltale signs of toxic masculinity.

Nevertheless, the onus is clearly on men to change/alter/correct their behaviors. Western culture defines specific characteristics to fit the patriarchal ideal masculine construct. The socialization of masculine ideals starts in boys’ at a young age and defines ideal masculinity as related to toughness, stoicism, heterosexism, self-sufficient attitudes and lack of emotional sensitivity and of connectedness. Boys learn to be men from the men in their lives, from their own experiences navigating our social norms, and from the large social and cultural context. Boys live under intensified pressure to display so-called gender-appropriate behaviors according to an anachronistic ideal male code.

Looking at the development of aggression throughout childhood, we know that not only do aggressive behaviors can emerge at an early age, they also tend to persist over time, without early prevention intervention. The socialization of the male characteristics mentioned above also onsets at an early age making it a prime time-period for prevention intervention.

What specific parenting techniques can we turn employ, to thwart toxic masculinity?

But you think girls / people can tell the difference between being a strong protective male and being a toxic male. There pinkies the problem.

Women will be blamed for not being clairvoyant and knowing because Larlo was an “athlete” or “hunted” or “had 2 divorced parents and watched a lot of football” or did “MMA” of course he 30 years later would smack her in an argument or cheat. “So many red flags” and… it’s bullshit. The red flag/green flag BS is gaslighting young women into believing they can predict future behavior. You can’t.

[Anonymous]

lol pinkies? Where did that come from

Try again

There is the problem

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you believe that toxic masculinity is a real thing, what are your thoughts on how to address it? Besides raising boys better what can we do? How do you confront it when it presents itself in your life?

The current world affairs are sad and supportive of mental health disorders. Gen Z males are addicted to nicotine from a USB, can’t stop fapping, and have broken moral codes. We’re better off with masculine masculinity than emasculated losers

Your masculine masculine husband faps.

[Anonymous]

I’m still unclear as to definitions.

What is masculinity? And where is the line at which it becomes toxic?