Don't send your kids to private school

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hm, which school? You write like a teenager.

Read the whole post, bright eyes.

Post is too long to waste time reading it. OP is FOS. If you are 20 years old why are you posting in this board? Obsessed with Private School? Move no and stop being a sad, know it all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That fancy education didn’t teach you to write in any logical way. So you knew lots of kids from public schools who were unprepared for college, failing classes left and right, but you still think that’s the preferable route for your own kids? And you say the private school education isn’t even superior, but yet you and your private school peers were comparably much better prepared for college? What am I missing?

Lol 😂
Private education in a religious private is not education. It’s indoctrination. Probed by Maga

Wait, for the anti-religious private troll even STA and NCS are indoctrination? Fascinating!

Or did you forget what thread you are on?

[Anonymous]

The OP won't win any prizes for writing or for positive outlook on life, but she makes some valid points. I went to an elite private school decades ago, and was miserable most of the time. It was an academic and social pressure cooker. My own kids went to private school in middle school, and had much the same experience, and wanted to go public. If it were not for my own experience at private, I probably would have forced them to ride it out. but my spouse and I listed to them and I am glad we did. They are now in public HS and much happier, lots of friends, GPA's of 4+, and killing it on their sports teams. To each their own.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow. You sound like a total loser + ingrate OP. Anyone who was rich enough to apply to Dalton + NCS should stop complaining.

This is why I can't stand poor people. Wow, I'm sooo privileged to attend miserable private schools that ruined my childhood.

And social development is significantly more valuable than learning to be deferential, always following instructions, & wasting your life away studying for exams. And the cherry on top is hearing about how "privileged" you are, how "grateful" you NEED to be, how you are soo much more fortunate than everyone else (and are a selfish, stuck up, entitled rich kid). Does wonders for the self esteem

Troll

👿

It may or may not be a troll, but I can relate so some of the feelings of the poster. Having your parents pour a ton of money into your education and being constantly told how privileged you are does NOT build a kid's self-esteem. And then if you add in the modern day racial privilege that the private schools are telling the white kids they need to feel guilty about, it has potential to be a sad existence. It is too bad the OP is not a better communicator, because there are some good points buried in her blather.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I went to 'top' private schools and hated it so much. I always wanted to attend public school. I wish my parents invested the 50k year tuition (or just gave it to me) instead.

Public school = inflated gpas, easy classes, less workload, bigger campuses, and you actually get to choose your classes.

You know how maddening it is to have everyone tell us how "easy" we have it and how "privileged" we are when high school was miserable. I had to work 10x harder to get a mediocre GPA. Scored in the 97th percentile on my SAT and it simply wasn't good enough with such an awful GPA.

I attended a top 20 university that felt 100x less stressful than high school. Graduated summa cum laude with barely any effort. Meanwhile, there were countless public school students who entered university with absurd 4.5 GPAs, mediocre SAT scores, and struggled at the university level.

I even had roommates who FAILED classes when they were 'superstars' at their public high schools. And public school students all think they're geniuses because like 90 percent of them have at least a 4.0 GPA. Meanwhile, maybe 2 percent of students at private high school have a 4.0.

I attended the Dalton school in New York and National Cathedral School in DC. And only a handful of girls went to Ivys btw (my brother attended St Albans and more boys were accepted, but not many). Although my brother did go on to attend an Ivy league law school. Even with SAT scores above the 97th percentile, we STILL weren't competitive enough for the top 10 universities. Admittedly, I wasn't the most dedicated student back then, but I guarantee I would have had a 4.0 at public school with the same amount of effort.

If I have kids in the future (I'm still in my 20s), then I will never send them to private school. The education is not even superior, they just force more work on you. A few teachers were bitter weirdos who constantly guilt-tripped us and made us feel like trash for having wealthy parents & being "privileged". They would literally bring up their teacher salaries in front of us and tell us how 'lucky' we were constantly. What a lovely environment.

Honestly, the best plan is to send your kid to public school (for less stress, more choice, and an inflated GPA). Just get them an SAT tutor on the side. Then invest the 50-60k you'd spend a year. It's the perfect combo.

The reason college was easy for you was because of the education you received in high school. This is generally the case for Big 3 type college students. They are well prepared. You may not have had the same college experience with an "easier" high school.

[Anonymous]

In your 20’s? Still too young to know.

[Anonymous]

This post makes no sense.

Superstar public school students struggling and failing while the big 3 kid coasts to summa cum laude?

Sounds like an advertisement for private to me.

[Anonymous]

OP sounds very ungrateful.

[Anonymous]

The experience of high school can be stressful anywhere (private or public) for the same reason - direct feedback in your current situation.

You get grades -- you are evaluated by your teachers, a class ranking (so you can see how well you are doing in comparison to your peers), and selected for positions of responsibility in student activities (you are being evaluated by your peers).

It is really the first time a young individual will get judged on their own (or mostly their own) merits from their work in the classroom, the athletic field or in extracurricular spaces -- and that judgment is in the form of where someone gets accepted into college and where they choose to go (for students who have bought into the academic/work rat race).

Of course, there are many people that do not buy into the academic/work rate race and let where they go to college or where they work define their self concept. But for so many students that have bought into the academic/work rat race (and who derive their self-worth from those sources), it maybe the first time that an individual is experiencing society's value / judgment of that individual's worth (in terms of being a college applicant). After all what else is there that provides this feedback? I am not saying that the feedback is always correct -- but there should be other mechanisms in place too (but I did not feel that they were present when I went to school nor where they present when my kids went to school (and recently graduated).

Fellow classmates judge, parents judge, neighbors judge, their school judges (after all there are the senior awards -- and there are not that many awards for the kids that slept through class, performed poorly in school, and/or had lack luster performance on the field or off the field. Students, parents, extended family (grandparents) and schools strut around like peacocks when a kid gets into a college labeled as desirable.

Submitting one's credentials and getting evaluating and receiving an outcome that is not wanted sucks (especially when you do not get the prize - getting into the colleges labeled as elite or very competitive.

It (being rejected from colleges that you wanted to attend) can either make you focus more on developing those skills valued by colleges (such as academic achievement and skill performance whether it is on the field or in social situations (extracurriculars).

To me, I do see a connection that what colleges want is similar to what employers want that are in business areas that are competitive - those employers want at all -- employees that are hard workers and are in the habit of achieving excellence in their area of work -- as well as socially poised and have great physical stamina - to work longer hours regularly or when needed. I think that when college admissions are truly merit based - a student gets the best feedback on their current level of value to our country's educational (college) system. For some kids, it is like going to the bank and realizing for the first time that they don't have enough money (intellectual capital) to pay their bills at a lifestyle level that they would like to live at.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your post actually makes the case for private school- you were so well prepared that college was easy and you did well, and you had friends who were top of their class at public who struggled a lot.

+1. I witnessed this myself personally and also with our kids. Private school students on average are far more polished when they land at college. Of course the public schoolers from grinder magnet schools can keep up, too, but they will always lack the finesse and social polish.

[Anonymous]

Well glad you figured it out! Yes you wasted a lot of time and money. Can’t get that time back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Huh? Your own post made the case for private school - college was a breeze for you, and was more difficult for some kids who went to public school. That was my experience coming from private school as well - high school was much harder than my top tier college.

Book smart but not that bright with no common sense. Will be mediocre at life but that is okay. lol.

[Anonymous]

Tiny violins OP. Check out a shrink to help you work through your feelings.

[Anonymous]

The responses to this kid are proving everyone right about this listserv and message board: toxic, self-righteous parents belittling others. We get it—you want your kid to succeed™️. We all do. But if a young person hops on here to say, ‘Hey, actually, this experience isn’t all it’s cracked up to be,’ maybe, uh, take it on board and chill. It doesn’t have to change your mind, but given that the book on all your side tables is about ‘the anxious generation,’ it wouldn’t kill you to appreciate them having the courage to speak up.

[Anonymous]

I am very grateful that my parents sent me to private school. I believe the experience shaped my life for the better.

My kids are loving their private school experience also. They have friends in public and share stories their friends have told them that make them grateful to be where they are.