Don't send your kids to private school

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like you wish your parents had made different decisions. Which is part of being human. It also sounds like you wish your life had gone different and are blaming your high school experience and your parents choices, which is not uncommon but fairly immature and limited perspective.

Your parents made the best choices they could for you, and you are free to make different ones for your kids. Be aware that they’ll likely still blame you for their dissatisfaction (and everyone has some) if that’s what you model.

Quite frankly, it also sounds like you have no appreciation for the fact you’ve lived a very privileged life. Perhaps consider whatever it takes to gain some perspective - therapy, volunteering, whatever works for you.

How do you know those were the best choices? By the price tag?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like you wish your parents had made different decisions. Which is part of being human. It also sounds like you wish your life had gone different and are blaming your high school experience and your parents choices, which is not uncommon but fairly immature and limited perspective.

Your parents made the best choices they could for you, and you are free to make different ones for your kids. Be aware that they’ll likely still blame you for their dissatisfaction (and everyone has some) if that’s what you model.

Quite frankly, it also sounds like you have no appreciation for the fact you’ve lived a very privileged life. Perhaps consider whatever it takes to gain some perspective - therapy, volunteering, whatever works for you.

How do you know those were the best choices? By the price tag?

By the fact that college was a breeze compared to those who went to public school.

[Anonymous]

But that doesn’t mean it was the best choice for every kid.

[Anonymous]

So, after graduating from NCS, you graduated summa cum laude from a T20 university, “with barely any effort.” You also said that you weren’t the most dedicated student at NCS. After graduating from STA, your brother graduated from an Ivy league law school. Why in the world are you complaining about private schools?!? You sound depressed (I’m serious). Seek professional help.

[Anonymous]

I am sorry your childhood was stressful. You never went to the dysfunctional public school my daughter went to, where kids were never allowed to talk to each other,
Even at lunch, and they did endless rote worksheets that were too easy for her and weeks of standardized tests. No one ever read her writing.

But… life is not a pity party. Crying that Dalton and NCS ruined your life is not right. Move forward and find some more self awareness. They may not have been good fits.

I went to both public and private schools and my public school classes in STEM were massively more challenging. Wish I had had more writing instruction. But I figured it out.

I know someone who is regularly nominated for a Nobel prize and still talks about how the Ivies rejected him. Seriously this is not a good look and silly. He got what he needed at his excellent university. The admissions committee at these places aren’t gods. The world judges you by what you do. The Ivies aren’t really that great honestly. I teach at one. There are great things about my university and great things about hundreds of other schools. Same for high schools.

Good luck to you OP and my hopes this is just a rainy day rant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like you wish your parents had made different decisions. Which is part of being human. It also sounds like you wish your life had gone different and are blaming your high school experience and your parents choices, which is not uncommon but fairly immature and limited perspective.

Your parents made the best choices they could for you, and you are free to make different ones for your kids. Be aware that they’ll likely still blame you for their dissatisfaction (and everyone has some) if that’s what you model.

Quite frankly, it also sounds like you have no appreciation for the fact you’ve lived a very privileged life. Perhaps consider whatever it takes to gain some perspective - therapy, volunteering, whatever works for you.

How do you know those were the best choices? By the price tag?

Ummm…because no parent pays for private school because they think it’s a worse choice? Whether or not it really was best in retrospect doesn’t change that they were doing the best they could for their kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I went to 'top' private schools and hated it so much. I always wanted to attend public school. I wish my parents invested the 50k year tuition (or just gave it to me) instead.

Public school = inflated gpas, easy classes, less workload, bigger campuses, and you actually get to choose your classes.

You know how maddening it is to have everyone tell us how "easy" we have it and how "privileged" we are when high school was miserable. I had to work 10x harder to get a mediocre GPA. Scored in the 97th percentile on my SAT and it simply wasn't good enough with such an awful GPA.

I attended a top 20 university that felt 100x less stressful than high school. Graduated summa cum laude with barely any effort. Meanwhile, there were countless public school students who entered university with absurd 4.5 GPAs, mediocre SAT scores, and struggled at the university level.

I even had roommates who FAILED classes when they were 'superstars' at their public high schools. And public school students all think they're geniuses because like 90 percent of them have at least a 4.0 GPA. Meanwhile, maybe 2 percent of students at private high school have a 4.0.

I attended the Dalton school in New York and National Cathedral School in DC. And only a handful of girls went to Ivys btw (my brother attended St Albans and more boys were accepted, but not many). Although my brother did go on to attend an Ivy league law school. Even with SAT scores above the 97th percentile, we STILL weren't competitive enough for the top 10 universities. Admittedly, I wasn't the most dedicated student back then, but I guarantee I would have had a 4.0 at public school with the same amount of effort.

If I have kids in the future (I'm still in my 20s), then I will never send them to private school. The education is not even superior, they just force more work on you. A few teachers were bitter weirdos who constantly guilt-tripped us and made us feel like trash for having wealthy parents & being "privileged". They would literally bring up their teacher salaries in front of us and tell us how 'lucky' we were constantly. What a lovely environment.

Honestly, the best plan is to send your kid to public school (for less stress, more choice, and an inflated GPA). Just get them an SAT tutor on the side. Then invest the 50-60k you'd spend a year. It's the perfect combo.

Solipsisric much?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like you wish your parents had made different decisions. Which is part of being human. It also sounds like you wish your life had gone different and are blaming your high school experience and your parents choices, which is not uncommon but fairly immature and limited perspective.

Your parents made the best choices they could for you, and you are free to make different ones for your kids. Be aware that they’ll likely still blame you for their dissatisfaction (and everyone has some) if that’s what you model.

Quite frankly, it also sounds like you have no appreciation for the fact you’ve lived a very privileged life. Perhaps consider whatever it takes to gain some perspective - therapy, volunteering, whatever works for you.

How do you know those were the best choices? By the price tag?

By the fact that college was a breeze compared to those who went to public school.

Every public school and private are different. Huge generalization. We choose public as it had a more rigorous math track. It depends on the child and classes as well as the teacher.

[Anonymous]

They may be in their 20s but it still sounds like a teenager wrote this.

Title SHOULD be "don't send your kid to NCS."

[Anonymous]

What do you do for living? Do you need that $50k times how many years you were in private? Do your parents know about your feelings?
I went to magnet boarding school abroad. I still have nightmares about the amount of homework we had every night and me not graduating.
I speak several languages thanks to that school, but can't write a coherent paragraph.
My 1-9 math was enough to make college easy in US and get a finance degree.
My kids do have investments accounts, attend public schools, and will be prepared for college.
Now I'm worried if these are right choices I'm making for them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I went to 'top' private schools and hated it so much. I always wanted to attend public school. I wish my parents invested the 50k year tuition (or just gave it to me) instead.

Public school = inflated gpas, easy classes, less workload, bigger campuses, and you actually get to choose your classes.

You know how maddening it is to have everyone tell us how "easy" we have it and how "privileged" we are when high school was miserable. I had to work 10x harder to get a mediocre GPA. Scored in the 97th percentile on my SAT and it simply wasn't good enough with such an awful GPA.

I attended a top 20 university that felt 100x less stressful than high school. Graduated summa cum laude with barely any effort. Meanwhile, there were countless public school students who entered university with absurd 4.5 GPAs, mediocre SAT scores, and struggled at the university level.

I even had roommates who FAILED classes when they were 'superstars' at their public high schools. And public school students all think they're geniuses because like 90 percent of them have at least a 4.0 GPA. Meanwhile, maybe 2 percent of students at private high school have a 4.0.

I attended the Dalton school in New York and National Cathedral School in DC. And only a handful of girls went to Ivys btw (my brother attended St Albans and more boys were accepted, but not many). Although my brother did go on to attend an Ivy league law school. Even with SAT scores above the 97th percentile, we STILL weren't competitive enough for the top 10 universities. Admittedly, I wasn't the most dedicated student back then, but I guarantee I would have had a 4.0 at public school with the same amount of effort.

If I have kids in the future (I'm still in my 20s), then I will never send them to private school. The education is not even superior, they just force more work on you. A few teachers were bitter weirdos who constantly guilt-tripped us and made us feel like trash for having wealthy parents & being "privileged". They would literally bring up their teacher salaries in front of us and tell us how 'lucky' we were constantly. What a lovely environment.

Honestly, the best plan is to send your kid to public school (for less stress, more choice, and an inflated GPA). Just get them an SAT tutor on the side. Then invest the 50-60k you'd spend a year. It's the perfect combo.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I went to 'top' private schools and hated it so much. I always wanted to attend public school. I wish my parents invested the 50k year tuition (or just gave it to me) instead.

Public school = inflated gpas, easy classes, less workload, bigger campuses, and you actually get to choose your classes.

You know how maddening it is to have everyone tell us how "easy" we have it and how "privileged" we are when high school was miserable. I had to work 10x harder to get a mediocre GPA. Scored in the 97th percentile on my SAT and it simply wasn't good enough with such an awful GPA.

I attended a top 20 university that felt 100x less stressful than high school. Graduated summa cum laude with barely any effort. Meanwhile, there were countless public school students who entered university with absurd 4.5 GPAs, mediocre SAT scores, and struggled at the university level.

I even had roommates who FAILED classes when they were 'superstars' at their public high schools. And public school students all think they're geniuses because like 90 percent of them have at least a 4.0 GPA. Meanwhile, maybe 2 percent of students at private high school have a 4.0.

I attended the Dalton school in New York and National Cathedral School in DC. And only a handful of girls went to Ivys btw (my brother attended St Albans and more boys were accepted, but not many). Although my brother did go on to attend an Ivy league law school. Even with SAT scores above the 97th percentile, we STILL weren't competitive enough for the top 10 universities. Admittedly, I wasn't the most dedicated student back then, but I guarantee I would have had a 4.0 at public school with the same amount of effort.

If I have kids in the future (I'm still in my 20s), then I will never send them to private school. The education is not even superior, they just force more work on you. A few teachers were bitter weirdos who constantly guilt-tripped us and made us feel like trash for having wealthy parents & being "privileged". They would literally bring up their teacher salaries in front of us and tell us how 'lucky' we were constantly. What a lovely environment.

Honestly, the best plan is to send your kid to public school (for less stress, more choice, and an inflated GPA). Just get them an SAT tutor on the side. Then invest the 50-60k you'd spend a year. It's the perfect combo.

Solipsisric much?

At least spell it correctly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I went to 'top' private schools and hated it so much. I always wanted to attend public school. I wish my parents invested the 50k year tuition (or just gave it to me) instead.

Public school = inflated gpas, easy classes, less workload, bigger campuses, and you actually get to choose your classes.

You know how maddening it is to have everyone tell us how "easy" we have it and how "privileged" we are when high school was miserable. I had to work 10x harder to get a mediocre GPA. Scored in the 97th percentile on my SAT and it simply wasn't good enough with such an awful GPA.

I attended a top 20 university that felt 100x less stressful than high school. Graduated summa cum laude with barely any effort. Meanwhile, there were countless public school students who entered university with absurd 4.5 GPAs, mediocre SAT scores, and struggled at the university level.

I even had roommates who FAILED classes when they were 'superstars' at their public high schools. And public school students all think they're geniuses because like 90 percent of them have at least a 4.0 GPA. Meanwhile, maybe 2 percent of students at private high school have a 4.0.

I attended the Dalton school in New York and National Cathedral School in DC. And only a handful of girls went to Ivys btw (my brother attended St Albans and more boys were accepted, but not many). Although my brother did go on to attend an Ivy league law school. Even with SAT scores above the 97th percentile, we STILL weren't competitive enough for the top 10 universities. Admittedly, I wasn't the most dedicated student back then, but I guarantee I would have had a 4.0 at public school with the same amount of effort.

If I have kids in the future (I'm still in my 20s), then I will never send them to private school. The education is not even superior, they just force more work on you. A few teachers were bitter weirdos who constantly guilt-tripped us and made us feel like trash for having wealthy parents & being "privileged". They would literally bring up their teacher salaries in front of us and tell us how 'lucky' we were constantly. What a lovely environment.

Honestly, the best plan is to send your kid to public school (for less stress, more choice, and an inflated GPA). Just get them an SAT tutor on the side. Then invest the 50-60k you'd spend a year. It's the perfect combo.

Solipsisric much?

At least spell it correctly.

Petty, petty.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like you wish your parents had made different decisions. Which is part of being human. It also sounds like you wish your life had gone different and are blaming your high school experience and your parents choices, which is not uncommon but fairly immature and limited perspective.

Your parents made the best choices they could for you, and you are free to make different ones for your kids. Be aware that they’ll likely still blame you for their dissatisfaction (and everyone has some) if that’s what you model.

Quite frankly, it also sounds like you have no appreciation for the fact you’ve lived a very privileged life. Perhaps consider whatever it takes to gain some perspective - therapy, volunteering, whatever works for you.

How do you know those were the best choices? By the price tag?

Ummm…because no parent pays for private school because they think it’s a worse choice? Whether or not it really was best in retrospect doesn’t change that they were doing the best they could for their kids.

Best choice. Not what they thought was the best choice for that student. Some parents are going for the legacy or the prestige (and pls don’t waste our time pretending this isn’t true). IOW, the best choice for the parents, not the student.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I went to 'top' private schools and hated it so much. I always wanted to attend public school. I wish my parents invested the 50k year tuition (or just gave it to me) instead.

Public school = inflated gpas, easy classes, less workload, bigger campuses, and you actually get to choose your classes.

You know how maddening it is to have everyone tell us how "easy" we have it and how "privileged" we are when high school was miserable. I had to work 10x harder to get a mediocre GPA. Scored in the 97th percentile on my SAT and it simply wasn't good enough with such an awful GPA.

I attended a top 20 university that felt 100x less stressful than high school. Graduated summa cum laude with barely any effort. Meanwhile, there were countless public school students who entered university with absurd 4.5 GPAs, mediocre SAT scores, and struggled at the university level.

I even had roommates who FAILED classes when they were 'superstars' at their public high schools. And public school students all think they're geniuses because like 90 percent of them have at least a 4.0 GPA. Meanwhile, maybe 2 percent of students at private high school have a 4.0.

I attended the Dalton school in New York and National Cathedral School in DC. And only a handful of girls went to Ivys btw (my brother attended St Albans and more boys were accepted, but not many). Although my brother did go on to attend an Ivy league law school. Even with SAT scores above the 97th percentile, we STILL weren't competitive enough for the top 10 universities. Admittedly, I wasn't the most dedicated student back then, but I guarantee I would have had a 4.0 at public school with the same amount of effort.

If I have kids in the future (I'm still in my 20s), then I will never send them to private school. The education is not even superior, they just force more work on you. A few teachers were bitter weirdos who constantly guilt-tripped us and made us feel like trash for having wealthy parents & being "privileged". They would literally bring up their teacher salaries in front of us and tell us how 'lucky' we were constantly. What a lovely environment.

Honestly, the best plan is to send your kid to public school (for less stress, more choice, and an inflated GPA). Just get them an SAT tutor on the side. Then invest the 50-60k you'd spend a year. It's the perfect combo.

Solipsisric much?

At least spell it correctly.

Petty, petty.

If you are going to use big words, don’t ruin the effect by not proofing your work.

Sloppy, sloppy.