Don't send your kids to private school

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I went to 'top' private schools and hated it so much. I always wanted to attend public school. I wish my parents invested the 50k year tuition (or just gave it to me) instead.

Public school = inflated gpas, easy classes, less workload, bigger campuses, and you actually get to choose your classes.

You know how maddening it is to have everyone tell us how "easy" we have it and how "privileged" we are when high school was miserable. I had to work 10x harder to get a mediocre GPA. Scored in the 97th percentile on my SAT and it simply wasn't good enough with such an awful GPA.

I attended a top 20 university that felt 100x less stressful than high school. Graduated summa cum laude with barely any effort. Meanwhile, there were countless public school students who entered university with absurd 4.5 GPAs, mediocre SAT scores, and struggled at the university level.

I even had roommates who FAILED classes when they were 'superstars' at their public high schools. And public school students all think they're geniuses because like 90 percent of them have at least a 4.0 GPA. Meanwhile, maybe 2 percent of students at private high school have a 4.0.

I attended the Dalton school in New York and National Cathedral School in DC. And only a handful of girls went to Ivys btw (my brother attended St Albans and more boys were accepted, but not many). Although my brother did go on to attend an Ivy league law school. Even with SAT scores above the 97th percentile, we STILL weren't competitive enough for the top 10 universities. Admittedly, I wasn't the most dedicated student back then, but I guarantee I would have had a 4.0 at public school with the same amount of effort.

If I have kids in the future (I'm still in my 20s), then I will never send them to private school. The education is not even superior, they just force more work on you. A few teachers were bitter weirdos who constantly guilt-tripped us and made us feel like trash for having wealthy parents & being "privileged". They would literally bring up their teacher salaries in front of us and tell us how 'lucky' we were constantly. What a lovely environment.

Honestly, the best plan is to send your kid to public school (for less stress, more choice, and an inflated GPA). Just get them an SAT tutor on the side. Then invest the 50-60k you'd spend a year. It's the perfect combo.

What you don't realize is that sending your child to private school isn't about the child's education really. It's about the parent's social group. Even parents who hate their private school cannot stomach the idea of having to say that their children go to public school - and intentionally it's the first topic when meeting new acquaintances with children.

[Anonymous]

Private school grad here. I tend to prefer public for my dc. One ended up private bc public wasn’t a good fit, but otherwise good public all the way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like you wish your parents had made different decisions. Which is part of being human. It also sounds like you wish your life had gone different and are blaming your high school experience and your parents choices, which is not uncommon but fairly immature and limited perspective.

Your parents made the best choices they could for you, and you are free to make different ones for your kids. Be aware that they’ll likely still blame you for their dissatisfaction (and everyone has some) if that’s what you model.

Quite frankly, it also sounds like you have no appreciation for the fact you’ve lived a very privileged life. Perhaps consider whatever it takes to gain some perspective - therapy, volunteering, whatever works for you.

How do you know those were the best choices? By the price tag?

By the fact that college was a breeze compared to those who went to public school.

Every public school and private are different. Huge generalization. We choose public as it had a more rigorous math track. It depends on the child and classes as well as the teacher.

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Agreed. And by the way, in the olden days, private school was considered much more rigorous and demanding than public and the engaging teachers in small classrooms held kids to a higher standard. Not the case anymore. Now you pay a massive amount of money and expect that the child will be "treated fairly" and excel. A quarter of the kids in private schools are rich and dumb, a quarter are there to play sports they've been recruited for, and the last half are great kids - just like in any school. When my great grandfather went to Phillips Exeter, he got to choose what ivy league school he went to. Now, what school you HS graduate from does not open doors by itself. If you have a prominent or connected parent/grandparent, that opens doors to selective colleges, not the name on your HS diploma.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I went to 'top' private schools and hated it so much. I always wanted to attend public school. I wish my parents invested the 50k year tuition (or just gave it to me) instead.

Public school = inflated gpas, easy classes, less workload, bigger campuses, and you actually get to choose your classes.

You know how maddening it is to have everyone tell us how "easy" we have it and how "privileged" we are when high school was miserable. I had to work 10x harder to get a mediocre GPA. Scored in the 97th percentile on my SAT and it simply wasn't good enough with such an awful GPA.

I attended a top 20 university that felt 100x less stressful than high school. Graduated summa cum laude with barely any effort. Meanwhile, there were countless public school students who entered university with absurd 4.5 GPAs, mediocre SAT scores, and struggled at the university level.

I even had roommates who FAILED classes when they were 'superstars' at their public high schools. And public school students all think they're geniuses because like 90 percent of them have at least a 4.0 GPA. Meanwhile, maybe 2 percent of students at private high school have a 4.0.

I attended the Dalton school in New York and National Cathedral School in DC. And only a handful of girls went to Ivys btw (my brother attended St Albans and more boys were accepted, but not many). Although my brother did go on to attend an Ivy league law school. Even with SAT scores above the 97th percentile, we STILL weren't competitive enough for the top 10 universities. Admittedly, I wasn't the most dedicated student back then, but I guarantee I would have had a 4.0 at public school with the same amount of effort.

If I have kids in the future (I'm still in my 20s), then I will never send them to private school. The education is not even superior, they just force more work on you. A few teachers were bitter weirdos who constantly guilt-tripped us and made us feel like trash for having wealthy parents & being "privileged". They would literally bring up their teacher salaries in front of us and tell us how 'lucky' we were constantly. What a lovely environment.

Honestly, the best plan is to send your kid to public school (for less stress, more choice, and an inflated GPA). Just get them an SAT tutor on the side. Then invest the 50-60k you'd spend a year. It's the perfect combo.

The reason college was easy for you was because of the education you received in high school. This is generally the case for Big 3 type college students. They are well prepared. You may not have had the same college experience with an "easier" high school.

"The reason college was easy for you was because of the education you received in high school." My dad constantly says the same thing about what great value we got from my expensive private school education. He is saying to himself that his decision to spend hundreds of thousands of dollars bought my "road to success" through education. Maybe, but I think I'm in a good place and doing well because I had smart and successful parents who gave me good genes and I'd be the same person doing the same thing if I attended any school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Huh? Your own post made the case for private school - college was a breeze for you, and was more difficult for some kids who went to public school. That was my experience coming from private school as well - high school was much harder than my top tier college.

Book smart but not that bright with no common sense. Will be mediocre at life but that is okay. lol.

You want to talk about lack of common sense my SIL went to an MCPS school and has a doctorate and is pretty high up in admin at a large college and yet she thought she had a blue refrigerator and dishwasher. She was completely clueless to the fact that the blue color was just the wrapping they use to protect the appliances from scratches during shipping and installation and you want to talk about private school kids having no common sense...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Gently, OP, private school isn’t the core issue here.

+1

[Anonymous]

Different schools, public or private, are different from each other. Different children are also different -- with differing needs, learning styles, etc.

No one school will be perfect for all children.

Try to put DC in whichever school is most appropriate for each child.

[Anonymous]

You're in your 20s still preoccupied with high school homework and high school GPA? Sweetheart, I hope you only disclose that on anonymous chat forums, sounds immature/cringe.

[Anonymous]

I also went to private school, as did my sister. We’re grateful for our educations.

You, however, seem to think it’s a good thing to send your kid to a school that won’t prepare them for college because you’re bitter you didn’t go to a T10 university?

I hope you’re a troll.

[Anonymous]

The number of people on this thread who don't realize OP is satire, sheesh!

[Anonymous]

My experience was somewhat similar to OP's. I've noticed that people who got good writing instruction in middle school and high school usually have a lifelong advantage. People who didn't get that rarely catch upz though some of them do. To me, that's a big advantage of private schools. Spouse agreed when it was time to choose. So we chose to send our kids to private school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I went to 'top' private schools and hated it so much. I always wanted to attend public school. I wish my parents invested the 50k year tuition (or just gave it to me) instead.

Public school = inflated gpas, easy classes, less workload, bigger campuses, and you actually get to choose your classes.

You know how maddening it is to have everyone tell us how "easy" we have it and how "privileged" we are when high school was miserable. I had to work 10x harder to get a mediocre GPA. Scored in the 97th percentile on my SAT and it simply wasn't good enough with such an awful GPA.

I attended a top 20 university that felt 100x less stressful than high school. Graduated summa cum laude with barely any effort. Meanwhile, there were countless public school students who entered university with absurd 4.5 GPAs, mediocre SAT scores, and struggled at the university level.

I even had roommates who FAILED classes when they were 'superstars' at their public high schools. And public school students all think they're geniuses because like 90 percent of them have at least a 4.0 GPA. Meanwhile, maybe 2 percent of students at private high school have a 4.0.

I attended the Dalton school in New York and National Cathedral School in DC. And only a handful of girls went to Ivys btw (my brother attended St Albans and more boys were accepted, but not many). Although my brother did go on to attend an Ivy league law school. Even with SAT scores above the 97th percentile, we STILL weren't competitive enough for the top 10 universities. Admittedly, I wasn't the most dedicated student back then, but I guarantee I would have had a 4.0 at public school with the same amount of effort.

If I have kids in the future (I'm still in my 20s), then I will never send them to private school. The education is not even superior, they just force more work on you. A few teachers were bitter weirdos who constantly guilt-tripped us and made us feel like trash for having wealthy parents & being "privileged". They would literally bring up their teacher salaries in front of us and tell us how 'lucky' we were constantly. What a lovely environment.

Honestly, the best plan is to send your kid to public school (for less stress, more choice, and an inflated GPA). Just get them an SAT tutor on the side. Then invest the 50-60k you'd spend a year. It's the perfect combo.

What you don't realize is that sending your child to private school isn't about the child's education really. It's about the parent's social group. Even parents who hate their private school cannot stomach the idea of having to say that their children go to public school - and intentionally it's the first topic when meeting new acquaintances with children.

Haha

[Anonymous]

OP, I can empathize with where you're coming from. Depending on what sports you played at NCS, there's a non-zero chance I coached you in one or more of them. I know NCS is a pressure cooker, and super stressful for lots of girls there. I went to public through eighth grade and then private for high school, including three years of boarding school. It definitely made college easier (though I made it easier still, lol). I made the choice to leave home and go to boarding school, and although I hated and still hate many aspects of that experience, it turned out to be better for me than the alternative (which would have involved moving twice during high school) would have been. Everyone needs to make their own choices, and the kids need to have agency to do so themselves as well. Sounds like maybe you didn't have that, which is unfortunate. I hope at least that if you *were* one of the 150-200 girls at NCS who played on any of my teams, that THAT experience made it better.

Anonymous wrote:I went to 'top' private schools and hated it so much. I always wanted to attend public school. I wish my parents invested the 50k year tuition (or just gave it to me) instead.

Public school = inflated gpas, easy classes, less workload, bigger campuses, and you actually get to choose your classes.

You know how maddening it is to have everyone tell us how "easy" we have it and how "privileged" we are when high school was miserable. I had to work 10x harder to get a mediocre GPA. Scored in the 97th percentile on my SAT and it simply wasn't good enough with such an awful GPA.

I attended a top 20 university that felt 100x less stressful than high school. Graduated summa cum laude with barely any effort. Meanwhile, there were countless public school students who entered university with absurd 4.5 GPAs, mediocre SAT scores, and struggled at the university level.

I even had roommates who FAILED classes when they were 'superstars' at their public high schools. And public school students all think they're geniuses because like 90 percent of them have at least a 4.0 GPA. Meanwhile, maybe 2 percent of students at private high school have a 4.0.

I attended the Dalton school in New York and National Cathedral School in DC. And only a handful of girls went to Ivys btw (my brother attended St Albans and more boys were accepted, but not many). Although my brother did go on to attend an Ivy league law school. Even with SAT scores above the 97th percentile, we STILL weren't competitive enough for the top 10 universities. Admittedly, I wasn't the most dedicated student back then, but I guarantee I would have had a 4.0 at public school with the same amount of effort.

If I have kids in the future (I'm still in my 20s), then I will never send them to private school. The education is not even superior, they just force more work on you. A few teachers were bitter weirdos who constantly guilt-tripped us and made us feel like trash for having wealthy parents & being "privileged". They would literally bring up their teacher salaries in front of us and tell us how 'lucky' we were constantly. What a lovely environment.

Honestly, the best plan is to send your kid to public school (for less stress, more choice, and an inflated GPA). Just get them an SAT tutor on the side. Then invest the 50-60k you'd spend a year. It's the perfect combo.

[Anonymous]

Public schools have an amazing diversity including many strong magnets that are absolutely free. Any kid at Thomas Jefferson magnet in VA could out perform most private school kids easily and the work is far more challenging, particularly in STEM.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I went to 'top' private schools and hated it so much. I always wanted to attend public school. I wish my parents invested the 50k year tuition (or just gave it to me) instead.

Public school = inflated gpas, easy classes, less workload, bigger campuses, and you actually get to choose your classes.

You know how maddening it is to have everyone tell us how "easy" we have it and how "privileged" we are when high school was miserable. I had to work 10x harder to get a mediocre GPA. Scored in the 97th percentile on my SAT and it simply wasn't good enough with such an awful GPA.

I attended a top 20 university that felt 100x less stressful than high school. Graduated summa cum laude with barely any effort. Meanwhile, there were countless public school students who entered university with absurd 4.5 GPAs, mediocre SAT scores, and struggled at the university level.

I even had roommates who FAILED classes when they were 'superstars' at their public high schools. And public school students all think they're geniuses because like 90 percent of them have at least a 4.0 GPA. Meanwhile, maybe 2 percent of students at private high school have a 4.0.

I attended the Dalton school in New York and National Cathedral School in DC. And only a handful of girls went to Ivys btw (my brother attended St Albans and more boys were accepted, but not many). Although my brother did go on to attend an Ivy league law school. Even with SAT scores above the 97th percentile, we STILL weren't competitive enough for the top 10 universities. Admittedly, I wasn't the most dedicated student back then, but I guarantee I would have had a 4.0 at public school with the same amount of effort.

If I have kids in the future (I'm still in my 20s), then I will never send them to private school. The education is not even superior, they just force more work on you. A few teachers were bitter weirdos who constantly guilt-tripped us and made us feel like trash for having wealthy parents & being "privileged". They would literally bring up their teacher salaries in front of us and tell us how 'lucky' we were constantly. What a lovely environment.

Honestly, the best plan is to send your kid to public school (for less stress, more choice, and an inflated GPA). Just get them an SAT tutor on the side. Then invest the 50-60k you'd spend a year. It's the perfect combo.

Thanks for making the case for a private school education