It's been 10 years since our oldest graduated from high school. The most successful are

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:BS: how many people do you know their salaries, benefits, plans, savings, etc.? Stop guessing and presenting it at fact.

Go to the tops of mid-sized public companies and check out where those folks went to school. Law amd accounting firms probably stuff in all the ivys but there are SO MANY mid sized companies that dont.

Then OP is more of a loser than any of us could imagine.

Fwiw: my high stats kids will be at good colleges - one heading off to a top school in the fall, the other in HS. My second wants to go into a low paying field…but these kids are and will always be very wealthy. So I guess by this judgment, my high stats kid “failed” compared to peers, but this same kid will have a job that is loved and more money than can ever be used in a lifetime. Under this metric, no really smart kid would be a teacher, researcher, etc.

Congratulations?! (I think?)

You can brag on an anonymous forum. Not quite sure what you want strangers to think/feel with this.

How is that braggy?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My anecdote - my husband and I graduated from a school that most here would think sucks (I’ve actually been told my degree isn’t worth the paper it’s written on, right here on DCUM!). We have friends who graduated from an Ivy that live close by. Neither one of them are doing anything groundbreaking, or are leaders in their field, or are raking in big bucks. We are both living comfortable happy lives. Between the 4 of us there is an MD (me), PhD (husband of the other couple) and 2 Masters degrees (my husband).
I always wonder what the Ivy experience gave them that we didn’t have, that improved their lives more than if they hadn’t gone to an Ivy. But I guess we’ll never know.

But it gave them the brand....

And what does/did that get them?

Freedom from worrying that they missed out on something, I suppose. People are forever trying to prove they are as good as me despite having gone to state schools and it is weird and makes them seem insecure. I don't care where you went to school and won't judge you one way or another, but those people sure like to say things to me like "well, I may not have gone to an Iiiiiivyyyy Leaaaguuuue school, but..."

[Anonymous]

My anecdotal observations of the class of 2002 at an above average prep school in a mid tier city with a large and strong tradition of private schools. Out of 80 graduates:

Of the top 5 students, who all went to elite colleges, three are doing extremely well. One is a senior tech guru living in Burlingame, one is a full professor with tenure at a major university, one is a highly placed finance executive. One went to medical school and is married to a surgeon.

However, the unofficial #1 is a permanent adjunct / tutor / fellow despite going to Harvard.

Of the next 15 or so who rounded out the top 25% of the class, I'd say around 12 are solidly upper middle class, lawyers and doctors and senior corporate executives. Most have kids in private schools or live in top ranked public districts. All went to excellent colleges ranging from Ivies to places like WUSTL or Bates. I suppose you would call this the grinder cohort.

The bottom 75% is all over the map. Some of the unquestionably bottom 25% are doing *extremely* well financially, major careers in sales and insurance or building up their family businesses. One became a very successful restauranter with several restaurants. For the bottom 75% there is *no pattern* between where they went to college and where they ended up life.

Granted, everyone went to college save one or two who failed out quickly. And a decent percentage of kids who started out in a privileged position in life have definitely, unquestionably, regressed socio-economically.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My anecdotal observations of the class of 2002 at an above average prep school in a mid tier city with a large and strong tradition of private schools. Out of 80 graduates:

Of the top 5 students, who all went to elite colleges, three are doing extremely well. One is a senior tech guru living in Burlingame, one is a full professor with tenure at a major university, one is a highly placed finance executive. One went to medical school and is married to a surgeon.

However, the unofficial #1 is a permanent adjunct / tutor / fellow despite going to Harvard.

Of the next 15 or so who rounded out the top 25% of the class, I'd say around 12 are solidly upper middle class, lawyers and doctors and senior corporate executives. Most have kids in private schools or live in top ranked public districts. All went to excellent colleges ranging from Ivies to places like WUSTL or Bates. I suppose you would call this the grinder cohort.

The bottom 75% is all over the map. Some of the unquestionably bottom 25% are doing *extremely* well financially, major careers in sales and insurance or building up their family businesses. One became a very successful restauranter with several restaurants. For the bottom 75% there is *no pattern* between where they went to college and where they ended up life.

Granted, everyone went to college save one or two who failed out quickly. And a decent percentage of kids who started out in a privileged position in life have definitely, unquestionably, regressed socio-economically.

How do you know all this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The most successful young adults who are now 27 or 28 years old were the top students in their high school class, no matter where they went to undergrad. From Ivies to tiny liberal arts college to fairly regional public universities, they all zoomed through undergrad, sometimes in three years, many went to grad or professional school, and they all have great careers. It seems all of them are married.

The handful of middle of the pack students and student-athletes who surprised everyone when they got into elite T20s regressed to their mean and have totally normal careers, at best.

It seems smart ambitious highly-motivated teens become smart ambitious highly-motivated adults. And if your teen is not those things, Tiger Mom'ing them into an elite college probably isn't going to change anything about their life and professional trajectory.

All of them are married at 27? Do you live in the deep south or Pakistan?

Most high school class of 2014 are age 28 right now. And yes, high value smart couples are marrying in their early and mid 20s. We know a Yale '23 & Harvard '23 couple who got married last fall.

The majority of young marriages end in divorce.

Not true when you control for socioeconomic status.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The most successful young adults who are now 27 or 28 years old were the top students in their high school class, no matter where they went to undergrad. From Ivies to tiny liberal arts college to fairly regional public universities, they all zoomed through undergrad, sometimes in three years, many went to grad or professional school, and they all have great careers. It seems all of them are married.

The handful of middle of the pack students and student-athletes who surprised everyone when they got into elite T20s regressed to their mean and have totally normal careers, at best.

It seems smart ambitious highly-motivated teens become smart ambitious highly-motivated adults. And if your teen is not those things, Tiger Mom'ing them into an elite college probably isn't going to change anything about their life and professional trajectory.

All of them are married at 27? Do you live in the deep south or Pakistan?

lol
So true. The OP is a backwards provincial mom stuck on this board with grown and flown children….
Hmmm. What does that tell you.

The upper classes all over the US actually do marry in their mid to late 20s, statistically. It the middle and UMC that marry in their early to mid 30s. The LC marry young and multiple times.

Ummm. Try again. And this tells us you are an immigrant.

DP. My son’s roommate went to a top law school, and through him my son became friends with a bunch of his classmates. This year they all graduated, and the summer and fall it’s a wedding after a wedding. The guys are 26-28, mostly white US born, they’ve been with their girlfriends for a couple of years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My anecdote - my husband and I graduated from a school that most here would think sucks (I’ve actually been told my degree isn’t worth the paper it’s written on, right here on DCUM!). We have friends who graduated from an Ivy that live close by. Neither one of them are doing anything groundbreaking, or are leaders in their field, or are raking in big bucks. We are both living comfortable happy lives. Between the 4 of us there is an MD (me), PhD (husband of the other couple) and 2 Masters degrees (my husband).
I always wonder what the Ivy experience gave them that we didn’t have, that improved their lives more than if they hadn’t gone to an Ivy. But I guess we’ll never know.

But it gave them the brand....

And what does/did that get them?

Freedom from worrying that they missed out on something, I suppose. People are forever trying to prove they are as good as me despite having gone to state schools and it is weird and makes them seem insecure. I don't care where you went to school and won't judge you one way or another, but those people sure like to say things to me like "well, I may not have gone to an Iiiiiivyyyy Leaaaguuuue school, but..."

This is pretty funny because the couple I mentioned in my original post - one of them uses every opportunity to tell you they went to an Ivy. Dude, no one cares.

[Anonymous]

It who are the most content? I pointed out a couple to my daughter at the pool years ago, her swim coach and her husband. Both teachers during year, swim coaches summer. They appeared to have a wonderful balanced life. I made her aware of that choice too as opposed to just chasing dollars.

[Anonymous]

I was just talking to my sister whose son just had a 10 year high school reunion so they are all around 28. I happened to be over and this subject came up. Talking to my sister and nephew the successful people now are:
1. The kids who had connections and who did well in school. Maybe not the absolute top in their class but they were taking the majority of the most rigorous classes. Their parents were top in their profession, wealthy, etc.
2. The kids who had really good social skills and were in top classes but not even the most rigorous. It helped also to be somewhat good looking or at least a little above average.

Kids who at this point in their life (obviously some kids take a while to get started so maybe this will change ) but the trend was:
Kids who were socially awkward even if they were super smart. So the top kid in AP physics and took calculus in 9th or 10 th grade but had a hard time working in a group project. Definitely underperforming.

[Anonymous]

I'm glad my professional success won't be forever measured by where I was at 27-28.

Who knows, maybe when I was that age, some parent held me up against my peers and declared definitively that I was entirely, thoroughly unimpressive, middle-of-the-pack at best. To be honest, they'd have been correct, as I was still casting about, figuring out what I was good at and what I gave a damn about. Fortunately, life is long.

OP, it might be worth staying open to the idea that some of those middle-of-the-packers (maybe even a few of those bottom-of-the-packers!) could yet have a few surprises in store.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The most successful young adults who are now 27 or 28 years old were the top students in their high school class, no matter where they went to undergrad. From Ivies to tiny liberal arts college to fairly regional public universities, they all zoomed through undergrad, sometimes in three years, many went to grad or professional school, and they all have great careers. It seems all of them are married.

The handful of middle of the pack students and student-athletes who surprised everyone when they got into elite T20s regressed to their mean and have totally normal careers, at best.

It seems smart ambitious highly-motivated teens become smart ambitious highly-motivated adults. And if your teen is not those things, Tiger Mom'ing them into an elite college probably isn't going to change anything about their life and professional trajectory.

you lost me at the athlete kid hate

[Anonymous]

Why, who would still be trolling the DCUM college thread when their kids are in their youngest kid is almost 30?

Get a hobby, something.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lol. Sounds like wishful thinking to me, from a parent with a chip on their shoulder. Most-likely-to-fail hs student here, and I've been much more successful than the top students in my hs class.

The most financially successful people I know are average students who started businesses.
The best students I know from high school are now mostly physicians doing good but financially not as good as some of the business people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The most successful young adults who are now 27 or 28 years old were the top students in their high school class, no matter where they went to undergrad. From Ivies to tiny liberal arts college to fairly regional public universities, they all zoomed through undergrad, sometimes in three years, many went to grad or professional school, and they all have great careers. It seems all of them are married.

The handful of middle of the pack students and student-athletes who surprised everyone when they got into elite T20s regressed to their mean and have totally normal careers, at best.

It seems smart ambitious highly-motivated teens become smart ambitious highly-motivated adults. And if your teen is not those things, Tiger Mom'ing them into an elite college probably isn't going to change anything about their life and professional trajectory.

you lost me at the athlete kid hate

Recruited student-athlete, URM, and first-generation are examples of admissions hooks. This is common vernacular on college admission forums. Ten years out hooked kids who were mid-pack of their high school class and yet got into elite colleges have not set the world on fire. They regressed to their mean even with the fancy degree and alleged network. It's a fascinating observation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My anecdotal observations of the class of 2002 at an above average prep school in a mid tier city with a large and strong tradition of private schools. Out of 80 graduates:

Of the top 5 students, who all went to elite colleges, three are doing extremely well. One is a senior tech guru living in Burlingame, one is a full professor with tenure at a major university, one is a highly placed finance executive. One went to medical school and is married to a surgeon.

However, the unofficial #1 is a permanent adjunct / tutor / fellow despite going to Harvard.

Of the next 15 or so who rounded out the top 25% of the class, I'd say around 12 are solidly upper middle class, lawyers and doctors and senior corporate executives. Most have kids in private schools or live in top ranked public districts. All went to excellent colleges ranging from Ivies to places like WUSTL or Bates. I suppose you would call this the grinder cohort.

The bottom 75% is all over the map. Some of the unquestionably bottom 25% are doing *extremely* well financially, major careers in sales and insurance or building up their family businesses. One became a very successful restauranter with several restaurants. For the bottom 75% there is *no pattern* between where they went to college and where they ended up life.

Granted, everyone went to college save one or two who failed out quickly. And a decent percentage of kids who started out in a privileged position in life have definitely, unquestionably, regressed socio-economically.

How do you know all this?

Right? It reads like fanfic.