It's been 10 years since our oldest graduated from high school. The most successful are

[Anonymous]

Based on <random anecdote>, I have concluded that <wild confirmation bias>.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are making stuff up. And you sound awful.

+1 I’m not seeing that as universally true in the 25-30 crew.

[Anonymous]

That hasn’t been the experience of any of the people I actually know who graduated from one of those schools with me, but hey, good for you.

My husband and I easily could have ended up divorced and self destructive like some of our classmates but we keep choosing not to. Avoiding alumni gatherings helps ime.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Correct. Ambitious kids become ambitious adults.

+1
Wow! This sounds like ground breaking rocket science! I wonder how OP came up with such unique insight that no one ever could have predicted.

And yet, this forum is chock full of posters who claim that T20’s matter and the difference between #5 and #60 can’t even be articulated because it’s THAT GOOD, and if you don’t get in and end up at a state school your kid is a will never have the chops/connections/drive to “make it.” Wonder why that is…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lol. Sounds like wishful thinking to me, from a parent with a chip on their shoulder. Most-likely-to-fail hs student here, and I've been much more successful than the top students in my hs class.

This is true of our high school as well. Not uniformly, but much more of a mix than OP suggests.

[Anonymous]

No one on here wants to hear this. It is true, whether they like it or not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The most successful young adults who are now 27 or 28 years old were the top students in their high school class, no matter where they went to undergrad. From Ivies to tiny liberal arts college to fairly regional public universities, they all zoomed through undergrad, sometimes in three years, many went to grad or professional school, and they all have great careers. It seems all of them are married.

The handful of middle of the pack students and student-athletes who surprised everyone when they got into elite T20s regressed to their mean and have totally normal careers, at best.

It seems smart ambitious highly-motivated teens become smart ambitious highly-motivated adults. And if your teen is not those things, Tiger Mom'ing them into an elite college probably isn't going to change anything about their life and professional trajectory.

All of them are married at 27? Do you live in the deep south or Pakistan?

lol
So true. The OP is a backwards provincial mom stuck on this board with grown and flown children….
Hmmm. What does that tell you.

[Anonymous]

My anecdote - my husband and I graduated from a school that most here would think sucks (I’ve actually been told my degree isn’t worth the paper it’s written on, right here on DCUM!). We have friends who graduated from an Ivy that live close by. Neither one of them are doing anything groundbreaking, or are leaders in their field, or are raking in big bucks. We are both living comfortable happy lives. Between the 4 of us there is an MD (me), PhD (husband of the other couple) and 2 Masters degrees (my husband).
I always wonder what the Ivy experience gave them that we didn’t have, that improved their lives more than if they hadn’t gone to an Ivy. But I guess we’ll never know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The most successful young adults who are now 27 or 28 years old were the top students in their high school class, no matter where they went to undergrad. From Ivies to tiny liberal arts college to fairly regional public universities, they all zoomed through undergrad, sometimes in three years, many went to grad or professional school, and they all have great careers. It seems all of them are married.

The handful of middle of the pack students and student-athletes who surprised everyone when they got into elite T20s regressed to their mean and have totally normal careers, at best.

It seems smart ambitious highly-motivated teens become smart ambitious highly-motivated adults. And if your teen is not those things, Tiger Mom'ing them into an elite college probably isn't going to change anything about their life and professional trajectory.

All of them are married at 27? Do you live in the deep south or Pakistan?

Most high school class of 2014 are age 28 right now. And yes, high value smart couples are marrying in their early and mid 20s. We know a Yale '23 & Harvard '23 couple who got married last fall.

The majority of young marriages end in divorce.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Correct. Ambitious kids become ambitious adults.

+1
Wow! This sounds like ground breaking rocket science! I wonder how OP came up with such unique insight that no one ever could have predicted.

This forum and others like it and also travel sports forums are full of parents who think prestige colleges are going to change their kids' lives. It is delusional. Your teen either has "it" or they don't by the time they leave your nest. You put a kid ambitious and smart enough for UVA, Duke or Penn into some regional degree mill and they will graduate with a 4.0 GPA and have their pick of jobs and grad schools.

This is not correct, plenty of kids peak in high school, and others are late bloomers. Nor can anyone predict life success by the age of 27 or 28. Op does sound like she has a chip on her shoulder.

Most of the lax bros I know have gone on to very successful careers in finance and law and none of them are the phenotype op is describing.

[Anonymous]

And OP's kids are living as far away as they can from their narc parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Correct. Ambitious kids become ambitious adults.

Yet you read college forums and it's full of fake anecdotes about all the smart kids cracking and bombing at college. It's all such a transparent cope from parents with average drifting kids.

Smart doesn't equal ambitious!

Ambitious kids don't bomb. "Smart" kids, as defined by test scores, bolstered by tutors and pushy parents bomb - they never had the drive in the first place. This is a no brainer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Correct. Ambitious kids become ambitious adults.

Yet you read college forums and it's full of fake anecdotes about all the smart kids cracking and bombing at college. It's all such a transparent cope from parents with average drifting kids.

Smart doesn't equal ambitious!

Ambitious kids don't bomb. "Smart" kids, as defined by test scores, bolstered by tutors and pushy parents bomb - they never had the drive in the first place. This is a no brainer.

This x1000. It’s not brains. Its ambition.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Correct. Ambitious kids become ambitious adults.

+1
Wow! This sounds like ground breaking rocket science! I wonder how OP came up with such unique insight that no one ever could have predicted.

And yet, this forum is chock full of posters who claim that T20’s matter and the difference between #5 and #60 can’t even be articulated because it’s THAT GOOD, and if you don’t get in and end up at a state school your kid is a will never have the chops/connections/drive to “make it.” Wonder why that is…

So true!

And here's me with my 'Large Regional State' degree and high income and wealth (1%). I graduated magna cum laude from this Nothing State University. But hey, when your at the top of a class of 30k students, you tend to stand out. Had I gone to Harvard I'd probably be middle of the road and the path to success would have been different - everyone was trying to give me opportunities - not the case for bottom or even middle of HYP class. Oh and, yes, I also was top 10% of large public HS and national merit finalist. My parents actually made fun of my ambition and drive, very working class mentality. They stopped laughing many years ago.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The most successful young adults who are now 27 or 28 years old were the top students in their high school class, no matter where they went to undergrad. From Ivies to tiny liberal arts college to fairly regional public universities, they all zoomed through undergrad, sometimes in three years, many went to grad or professional school, and they all have great careers. It seems all of them are married.

The handful of middle of the pack students and student-athletes who surprised everyone when they got into elite T20s regressed to their mean and have totally normal careers, at best.

It seems smart ambitious highly-motivated teens become smart ambitious highly-motivated adults. And if your teen is not those things, Tiger Mom'ing them into an elite college probably isn't going to change anything about their life and professional trajectory.

All of them are married at 27? Do you live in the deep south or Pakistan?

lol
So true. The OP is a backwards provincial mom stuck on this board with grown and flown children….
Hmmm. What does that tell you.

Grown and flown? Our youngest is a high school senior.