It's been 10 years since our oldest graduated from high school. The most successful are

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why, who would still be trolling the DCUM college thread when their kids are in their youngest kid is almost 30?

Get a hobby, something.

Learn to read. The thread title is literally 'our oldest'.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My anecdotal observations of the class of 2002 at an above average prep school in a mid tier city with a large and strong tradition of private schools. Out of 80 graduates:

Of the top 5 students, who all went to elite colleges, three are doing extremely well. One is a senior tech guru living in Burlingame, one is a full professor with tenure at a major university, one is a highly placed finance executive. One went to medical school and is married to a surgeon.

However, the unofficial #1 is a permanent adjunct / tutor / fellow despite going to Harvard.

Of the next 15 or so who rounded out the top 25% of the class, I'd say around 12 are solidly upper middle class, lawyers and doctors and senior corporate executives. Most have kids in private schools or live in top ranked public districts. All went to excellent colleges ranging from Ivies to places like WUSTL or Bates. I suppose you would call this the grinder cohort.

The bottom 75% is all over the map. Some of the unquestionably bottom 25% are doing *extremely* well financially, major careers in sales and insurance or building up their family businesses. One became a very successful restauranter with several restaurants. For the bottom 75% there is *no pattern* between where they went to college and where they ended up life.

Granted, everyone went to college save one or two who failed out quickly. And a decent percentage of kids who started out in a privileged position in life have definitely, unquestionably, regressed socio-economically.

How do you know all this?

More importantly, why does anyone care? A handful of anecdotes (with dubious accuracy) do not create a rule.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My anecdotal observations of the class of 2002 at an above average prep school in a mid tier city with a large and strong tradition of private schools. Out of 80 graduates:

Of the top 5 students, who all went to elite colleges, three are doing extremely well. One is a senior tech guru living in Burlingame, one is a full professor with tenure at a major university, one is a highly placed finance executive. One went to medical school and is married to a surgeon.

However, the unofficial #1 is a permanent adjunct / tutor / fellow despite going to Harvard.

Of the next 15 or so who rounded out the top 25% of the class, I'd say around 12 are solidly upper middle class, lawyers and doctors and senior corporate executives. Most have kids in private schools or live in top ranked public districts. All went to excellent colleges ranging from Ivies to places like WUSTL or Bates. I suppose you would call this the grinder cohort.

The bottom 75% is all over the map. Some of the unquestionably bottom 25% are doing *extremely* well financially, major careers in sales and insurance or building up their family businesses. One became a very successful restauranter with several restaurants. For the bottom 75% there is *no pattern* between where they went to college and where they ended up life.

Granted, everyone went to college save one or two who failed out quickly. And a decent percentage of kids who started out in a privileged position in life have definitely, unquestionably, regressed socio-economically.

How do you know all this?

Alum magazines, keeping in touch, updates via friends. It's easy to track 80 graduates from a private school.

I left out one of the top 25% who went to a top 10 LAC, dropped out, ended up a homeless single mother with issues. Some people are meant to be complicated.

[Anonymous]

There’s some truth to what OP is saying but I don’t think it’s the whole picture. I know several guys who were middle of the road students, went to their jn state option or a lesser SLAC but found their drive or passion in college, got great grad degrees, and have very impressive careers in really interesting fields.

I also know at least one young person who was a top kid in HS but has now rejected the rat race and chosen basically a blue collar career.

Also, 28 is not the end of the story. I was a top student who went to a top college and at 28 I was finished a top grad program with a very prestigious fellowship waiting for me. At 50, I am widlly unimpressive, largely because I am very risk averse so never wanted to take big swings with career choice.

I think there’s a lot of things that go into all of this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My anecdotal observations of the class of 2002 at an above average prep school in a mid tier city with a large and strong tradition of private schools. Out of 80 graduates:

Of the top 5 students, who all went to elite colleges, three are doing extremely well. One is a senior tech guru living in Burlingame, one is a full professor with tenure at a major university, one is a highly placed finance executive. One went to medical school and is married to a surgeon.

However, the unofficial #1 is a permanent adjunct / tutor / fellow despite going to Harvard.

Of the next 15 or so who rounded out the top 25% of the class, I'd say around 12 are solidly upper middle class, lawyers and doctors and senior corporate executives. Most have kids in private schools or live in top ranked public districts. All went to excellent colleges ranging from Ivies to places like WUSTL or Bates. I suppose you would call this the grinder cohort.

The bottom 75% is all over the map. Some of the unquestionably bottom 25% are doing *extremely* well financially, major careers in sales and insurance or building up their family businesses. One became a very successful restauranter with several restaurants. For the bottom 75% there is *no pattern* between where they went to college and where they ended up life.

Granted, everyone went to college save one or two who failed out quickly. And a decent percentage of kids who started out in a privileged position in life have definitely, unquestionably, regressed socio-economically.

This is hilarious. Nice try, PP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The most successful young adults who are now 27 or 28 years old were the top students in their high school class, no matter where they went to undergrad. From Ivies to tiny liberal arts college to fairly regional public universities, they all zoomed through undergrad, sometimes in three years, many went to grad or professional school, and they all have great careers. It seems all of them are married.

The handful of middle of the pack students and student-athletes who surprised everyone when they got into elite T20s regressed to their mean and have totally normal careers, at best.

It seems smart ambitious highly-motivated teens become smart ambitious highly-motivated adults. And if your teen is not those things, Tiger Mom'ing them into an elite college probably isn't going to change anything about their life and professional trajectory.

All of them are married at 27? Do you live in the deep south or Pakistan?

Most high school class of 2014 are age 28 right now. And yes, high value smart couples are marrying in their early and mid 20s. We know a Yale '23 & Harvard '23 couple who got married last fall.

You know one couple so yep, “everyone” must be doing it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was just talking to my sister whose son just had a 10 year high school reunion so they are all around 28. I happened to be over and this subject came up. Talking to my sister and nephew the successful people now are:
1. The kids who had connections and who did well in school. Maybe not the absolute top in their class but they were taking the majority of the most rigorous classes. Their parents were top in their profession, wealthy, etc.
2. The kids who had really good social skills and were in top classes but not even the most rigorous. It helped also to be somewhat good looking or at least a little above average.

Kids who at this point in their life (obviously some kids take a while to get started so maybe this will change ) but the trend was:
Kids who were socially awkward even if they were super smart. So the top kid in AP physics and took calculus in 9th or 10 th grade but had a hard time working in a group project. Definitely underperforming.

Family money and connections can mask middling I.Q. and ambition and gives the appearance of success no matter what the kid does in college and after. But raw brainpower and ambition will achieve at least upper middle class no matter what undergraduate college you put them at. You give a lazy slacker a BA from Dartmouth and I promise you they will find a way to waste it and become a screw up sponging off their parents. When they leave campus that Ivy network won't keep in contact with them, let alone help them. And a Dartmouth classmate isn't going to marry some unmotivated loser. Too many class-conscious parents act as if a prestigious degree is a magic potion. It is not.

[Anonymous]

Here’s my n=1
Our mortgage broker went to Ithaca and is rolling in it. Could buy and sell every one of you. He is the most go getting go getter I’ve ever met. And a super cool guy to boot. No Ivy necessary.

[Anonymous]

I think the fact that the op's "sample"of people are all married in their late 20s makes for a very narrow group she is referring to. Maybe 10 people tops.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The most successful young adults who are now 27 or 28 years old were the top students in their high school class, no matter where they went to undergrad. From Ivies to tiny liberal arts college to fairly regional public universities, they all zoomed through undergrad, sometimes in three years, many went to grad or professional school, and they all have great careers. It seems all of them are married.

The handful of middle of the pack students and student-athletes who surprised everyone when they got into elite T20s regressed to their mean and have totally normal careers, at best.

It seems smart ambitious highly-motivated teens become smart ambitious highly-motivated adults. And if your teen is not those things, Tiger Mom'ing them into an elite college probably isn't going to change anything about their life and professional trajectory.

All of them are married at 27? Do you live in the deep south or Pakistan?

Most high school class of 2014 are age 28 right now. And yes, high value smart couples are marrying in their early and mid 20s. We know a Yale '23 & Harvard '23 couple who got married last fall.

You know one couple so yep, “everyone” must be doing it!

Our twins graduated from UVA in 2022. They began getting wedding invites that summer and autumn after college.

[Anonymous]

What is particularly desirable about ambition or markers of status like wealth and high powered jobs?

I think the OPS point is correct, but it's sort of like, who cares? All these striving doctors and lawyers and tech bros who wanted nothing more than being rich and admired when they were older – good for them. The vast majority of average people in their mid level jobs are often more content and well adjusted than the strivers.

There's just something about the tone of discourse on this forum that is so offputting. You are all striving so damn hard to be better than the people around you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think the fact that the op's "sample"of people are all married in their late 20s makes for a very narrow group she is referring to. Maybe 10 people tops.

Marriage trends among wealthy and/or smart kids are changing. Sophia Ritchie was 24 when she got married last year.

[Anonymous]

Also, OP, if you have kids that are now in their late 20s and 30s, you are a total loser for visiting this forum and being so invested in something or other. Like, go back to being a boomer

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is particularly desirable about ambition or markers of status like wealth and high powered jobs?

I think the OPS point is correct, but it's sort of like, who cares? All these striving doctors and lawyers and tech bros who wanted nothing more than being rich and admired when they were older – good for them. The vast majority of average people in their mid level jobs are often more content and well adjusted than the strivers.

There's just something about the tone of discourse on this forum that is so offputting. You are all striving so damn hard to be better than the people around you.

I mean this is DCUM…😀

Seriously your post is excellent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Also, OP, if you have kids that are now in their late 20s and 30s, you are a total loser for visiting this forum and being so invested in something or other. Like, go back to being a boomer

Please. We’re all losers for visiting these forums.