What is overscheduled?

[Anonymous]

Parents' jobs, number of siblings, and availability of family help don't affect whether a particular kid is overscheduled.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Parents' jobs, number of siblings, and availability of family help don't affect whether a particular kid is overscheduled.

Sure they do. If you are always having to tag along to your sibling's practices/games/lessons because you only have 1 available parent at that time, it means you have less time for your own practices/games/lessons. If instead grandma can watch you or your parents can go two different directions, then it is a very different feel.

Yes sideline siblings basically goof off the whole time, ideally with other kids, but it still is less completely free time.

[Anonymous]

I think a hige motivating factor of overschduling is fear. Fear of giving their kids free time and fear of giving them freedom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parents' jobs, number of siblings, and availability of family help don't affect whether a particular kid is overscheduled.

Sure they do. If you are always having to tag along to your sibling's practices/games/lessons because you only have 1 available parent at that time, it means you have less time for your own practices/games/lessons. If instead grandma can watch you or your parents can go two different directions, then it is a very different feel.

Yes sideline siblings basically goof off the whole time, ideally with other kids, but it still is less completely free time.

You assume older kids can’t watch younger kids or there are no carpools. Everyone’s life isn’t as bleak as you're thinking. There are many ways to mitigate this that people can take advantage of.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parents' jobs, number of siblings, and availability of family help don't affect whether a particular kid is overscheduled.

Sure they do. If you are always having to tag along to your sibling's practices/games/lessons because you only have 1 available parent at that time, it means you have less time for your own practices/games/lessons. If instead grandma can watch you or your parents can go two different directions, then it is a very different feel.

Yes sideline siblings basically goof off the whole time, ideally with other kids, but it still is less completely free time.

You assume older kids can’t watch younger kids or there are no carpools. Everyone’s life isn’t as bleak as you're thinking. There are many ways to mitigate this that people can take advantage of.

Sure, carpools and having a kid old enough to watch a sibling definitely mitigates. But those are factors, just like parental availability or having grandparents around. If all your kids are 7 and under, no child of yours is watching a sibling at home. If you have a 17 year old, you can conceivably make them drive an elementary sibling to an event (whether you should might be a different question).

This goes back to the idea that "overscheduled" isn't just kid dependent, but also family and situation dependent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parents' jobs, number of siblings, and availability of family help don't affect whether a particular kid is overscheduled.

Sure they do. If you are always having to tag along to your sibling's practices/games/lessons because you only have 1 available parent at that time, it means you have less time for your own practices/games/lessons. If instead grandma can watch you or your parents can go two different directions, then it is a very different feel.

Yes sideline siblings basically goof off the whole time, ideally with other kids, but it still is less completely free time.

You assume older kids can’t watch younger kids or there are no carpools. Everyone’s life isn’t as bleak as you're thinking. There are many ways to mitigate this that people can take advantage of.

Sure, carpools and having a kid old enough to watch a sibling definitely mitigates. But those are factors, just like parental availability or having grandparents around. If all your kids are 7 and under, no child of yours is watching a sibling at home. If you have a 17 year old, you can conceivably make them drive an elementary sibling to an event (whether you should might be a different question).

This goes back to the idea that "overscheduled" isn't just kid dependent, but also family and situation dependent.

Personally my question about overscheduling isn’t about how it affects the family. Articles do not take into account factors like outside help, extended family, other family conflict, multiple kids and I think it’s silly and a distraction to do so. It’s just about the kid doing activities - is it too much for the kid yes or no?

[Anonymous]

It's great to take a kids wants into account, but you can't always go by that. Even if a kid wants it all, it's up to a parents to see if that's really best. I want my kid to do activities they want and have fun, but I also think they need ample free time and freedom. Then there's also the financial component.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parents' jobs, number of siblings, and availability of family help don't affect whether a particular kid is overscheduled.

Sure they do. If you are always having to tag along to your sibling's practices/games/lessons because you only have 1 available parent at that time, it means you have less time for your own practices/games/lessons. If instead grandma can watch you or your parents can go two different directions, then it is a very different feel.

Yes sideline siblings basically goof off the whole time, ideally with other kids, but it still is less completely free time.

You assume older kids can’t watch younger kids or there are no carpools. Everyone’s life isn’t as bleak as you're thinking. There are many ways to mitigate this that people can take advantage of.

Sure, carpools and having a kid old enough to watch a sibling definitely mitigates. But those are factors, just like parental availability or having grandparents around. If all your kids are 7 and under, no child of yours is watching a sibling at home. If you have a 17 year old, you can conceivably make them drive an elementary sibling to an event (whether you should might be a different question).

This goes back to the idea that "overscheduled" isn't just kid dependent, but also family and situation dependent.

Personally my question about overscheduling isn’t about how it affects the family. Articles do not take into account factors like outside help, extended family, other family conflict, multiple kids and I think it’s silly and a distraction to do so. It’s just about the kid doing activities - is it too much for the kid yes or no?

+1 (I'm the PP who posted that this isn't about parents' jobs, number of siblings, or family help.) A lot of these posts are missing the point.

[Anonymous]

I know we discussed high school aged teens, but does anyone else feel that overscheduling hikers at all a kids ability to entertain themselves or handle boredom?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know we discussed high school aged teens, but does anyone else feel that overscheduling hikers at all a kids ability to entertain themselves or handle boredom?

At some point, probably it would, but this hasn't been our experience with a kid who does a fair number of activities. There's still plenty of hours in the week that she's sitting at home figuring out what to do with herself, and she does a good job with that.

[Anonymous]

I think people assume that activities cut into free time or 'better use of time's way more than they actually do. Both my kids do travel sports plus an instrument. They still have TONS of time to sit around and do whatever. And my DH and I have plenty of time for our interests.

We travel to tournaments, and they are so fun. They have games of course, but also parents hang out, kids 'free play' with each other, we check out local culture and restaurants, etc. And tournaments aren't most weekends and aren't all year. I'm happy they get a lot of vigorous exercise too.

I'm not sure what they'd be doing that is so much better if we gave up the activities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know we discussed high school aged teens, but does anyone else feel that overscheduling hikers at all a kids ability to entertain themselves or handle boredom?

Are you actually worried about this as a real problem? If they can’t handle boredom will they jump off a cliff? Don’t get the concern. They will just be bored or find something to do. Like kids have forever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think people assume that activities cut into free time or 'better use of time's way more than they actually do. Both my kids do travel sports plus an instrument. They still have TONS of time to sit around and do whatever. And my DH and I have plenty of time for our interests.

We travel to tournaments, and they are so fun. They have games of course, but also parents hang out, kids 'free play' with each other, we check out local culture and restaurants, etc. And tournaments aren't most weekends and aren't all year. I'm happy they get a lot of vigorous exercise too.

I'm not sure what they'd be doing that is so much better if we gave up the activities.

Ppl think this because they are time consuming, and that's why alot of parents sign their kids up, so that they are purposely busy. They're are afraid to give their kids freedom and free time. Due to safety, screens and the fear that their kids will end up being trouble makers. Parents do it on purpose, sure, some kids love it, but some don't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know we discussed high school aged teens, but does anyone else feel that overscheduling hikers at all a kids ability to entertain themselves or handle boredom?

Are you actually worried about this as a real problem? If they can’t handle boredom will they jump off a cliff? Don’t get the concern. They will just be bored or find something to do. Like kids have forever.

Not if they only primarily know adult led, supervised and organized activities.

[Anonymous]

It’s weird to me that people are assuming so many parents sign their kids up for activities because they want them to stay out of trouble or that they are forcing their kids to do activities.

Mine loves activities and has stuck with the ones that he loved. I sign him up because he has at least two genuine passions and why shouldn’t he pursue them now? I also have him in a cultural activity that is important to me and he is also on board with it (I’m sure closer to middle school he will push back on this one). Activities are also a social outlet for him since he’s an only. But this means he is busy every day practicing his music at home and busy every weekend with the cultural activity and, during the season, a sports game and practice. He has an activity almost every day.

I’m sure many would think he is overscheduled or I am pushing him, but he is really the one driving this. He has a family party to go to this weekend and he came home from school reminding me of that, and talking about how he needs to do instrument practice and shoot some goals and also be ready for the party. He is learning to manage his own schedule.

If I bought a video game console or gave him an iPad, I’m sure he’d want to sometimes do games rather than practice his sport or instrument, but luckily he doesn’t have that option right now. I often watch tv or read about true crime for a couple hours at night after he goes to bed because it’s easy and addictive. I should be reading or doing something enriching more than I do, but alas. So I’m holding out as long as I can reasonably do so with him.