Low SES mother asking: where to buy a dress

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think this mom is asking for stores that are slightly nicer than Target? It sounds like she saved for awhile for a nicer dress but OP, if you give us your price range we can help you better.

I've literally found $100+ reduced to $15 at Macy's - that takes luck and time - but that's where I'd start. BTW SES isn't that relevant here - I don't like spending money on things the kid is going to wear once or twice.

Agree with this. In college, I used to go thrifting for fun. My son's recent prom date had a beautiful and unusual dress that she admitted to thrifting when I asked. Very impressed with her style. If you are feeling budget-constrained, think about the possibilities of teaching your daughter how to be ecologically-friendly and financially prudent. I looked at Thredup not long ago and the prices looked like it was possible to take some risks there, too.

Did you not read OPs post?? She always thrifts and wants to splurge here. She doesn’t need a schoolmarm-ish lecture about how to teach her daughter to be “ecologically friendly and financially prudent.”

It wasn't meant to be a lecture. Just encouragement to buck the system. Single use dresses are often among the easiest things to find. Sorry OP, I didn't mean to give offense. Poster above, suggest you direct your energy away from attacking other posters.

OP here. I took it as a lecture. I’ve explained that we are usually not only thrifty but—as it stands to reason, thank you very much—ecologically friendly BY DEFAULT. Literally this ONE TIME I wanted to go to a store where well-to-do people buy new clothes for a special occasion, and treat my daughter. Spare me your sanctimony. This one freaking time I didn’t want to rely on hand-me-downs or Once Upon a Child. If you want to lecture me on the environment, let’s start with the size of our homes and the number of cars we both have. If you want to talk about ecology and financial prudence, tell me the last time you bought yourself a brand-new item of clothing. For me, it was 2011. If you want to lecture me about being financially prudent and being environmentally friendly, when was the last time you flew on an airplane? For me it was 2008.

I got my daughter a dress and a pair of shoes at Macy’s. THANK YOU to all the posters who actually just answered my question with no lectures, or extraneous yip yap. I truly do appreciate the few of you who actually get what I was doing today and why it was important.

OK, OP, I apologize. I was recently dazzled by a beautiful thrifted dress and I'm sorry I made you angry.

It must be so nice to leisurely thrift like it’s a game and a score and not a necessity. How very dazzling. I’m glad I made you feel superior, like people like me probably do every day. You are welcome.

I don't feel superior to you at all. You know nothing about me. I am married to a former free lunch kid and we thrifted all of his best dress clothes when we were young and had no money. My kids have been part of a hand me down chain that goes through 5 boys. And I also used to shop at Once Upon a Child. I can't compete with your other angry statements but my apology was sincerely meant.

Perhaps instead of describing yourself as low SES, you should have just stated your budget. I would never drag my HHI into a request for help to find a product at a certain price. It suggests you have a chip on your shoulder that you are putting there yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I cannot believe how judgmental, unkind and unhelpful some of you are choosing to be to a mother who has been saving for something special for your daughter.

Look in the mirror. You are the Mean Girls. It’s you. Shame on you.

OP, I’m glad you and your daughter found a special dress. Get off DCUM for a while and enjoy your family and your life.

Yours is the meanest attitude in the thread, though.

I disagree with you.
NP

Ok. I guess you and the PP think it's mean to suggest thrift stores then. I shop at Target and thrift stores my kid's dresses. I guess I must be a mean, snobby girl, but really these are the best places to shop for dresses for this occasion and in this budget. She said Low SES so some of us who are also not rich thought she was serious about a budget. You'd think it would be mean to suggest Nordstrom or Macys, since I personally won't even buy stuff from Nordstrom in my budget and I am not even Low SES but middle class. If you don't want affordable options, why even mention the Low SES part?

[Anonymous]

TJ max or Marshall’s. That’s were my tweens usually find dresses

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think this mom is asking for stores that are slightly nicer than Target? It sounds like she saved for awhile for a nicer dress but OP, if you give us your price range we can help you better.

I've literally found $100+ reduced to $15 at Macy's - that takes luck and time - but that's where I'd start. BTW SES isn't that relevant here - I don't like spending money on things the kid is going to wear once or twice.

Agree with this. In college, I used to go thrifting for fun. My son's recent prom date had a beautiful and unusual dress that she admitted to thrifting when I asked. Very impressed with her style. If you are feeling budget-constrained, think about the possibilities of teaching your daughter how to be ecologically-friendly and financially prudent. I looked at Thredup not long ago and the prices looked like it was possible to take some risks there, too.

Did you not read OPs post?? She always thrifts and wants to splurge here. She doesn’t need a schoolmarm-ish lecture about how to teach her daughter to be “ecologically friendly and financially prudent.”

It wasn't meant to be a lecture. Just encouragement to buck the system. Single use dresses are often among the easiest things to find. Sorry OP, I didn't mean to give offense. Poster above, suggest you direct your energy away from attacking other posters.

OP here. I took it as a lecture. I’ve explained that we are usually not only thrifty but—as it stands to reason, thank you very much—ecologically friendly BY DEFAULT. Literally this ONE TIME I wanted to go to a store where well-to-do people buy new clothes for a special occasion, and treat my daughter. Spare me your sanctimony. This one freaking time I didn’t want to rely on hand-me-downs or Once Upon a Child. If you want to lecture me on the environment, let’s start with the size of our homes and the number of cars we both have. If you want to talk about ecology and financial prudence, tell me the last time you bought yourself a brand-new item of clothing. For me, it was 2011. If you want to lecture me about being financially prudent and being environmentally friendly, when was the last time you flew on an airplane? For me it was 2008.

I got my daughter a dress and a pair of shoes at Macy’s. THANK YOU to all the posters who actually just answered my question with no lectures, or extraneous yip yap. I truly do appreciate the few of you who actually get what I was doing today and why it was important.

OK, OP, I apologize. I was recently dazzled by a beautiful thrifted dress and I'm sorry I made you angry.

It must be so nice to leisurely thrift like it’s a game and a score and not a necessity. How very dazzling. I’m glad I made you feel superior, like people like me probably do every day. You are welcome.

I don't feel superior to you at all. You know nothing about me. I am married to a former free lunch kid and we thrifted all of his best dress clothes when we were young and had no money. My kids have been part of a hand me down chain that goes through 5 boys. And I also used to shop at Once Upon a Child. I can't compete with your other angry statements but my apology was sincerely meant.

Perhaps instead of describing yourself as low SES, you should have just stated your budget. I would never drag my HHI into a request for help to find a product at a certain price. It suggests you have a chip on your shoulder that you are putting there yourself.

I'm with you, PP. I don't get the venom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I cannot believe how judgmental, unkind and unhelpful some of you are choosing to be to a mother who has been saving for something special for your daughter.

Look in the mirror. You are the Mean Girls. It’s you. Shame on you.

OP, I’m glad you and your daughter found a special dress. Get off DCUM for a while and enjoy your family and your life.

Yours is the meanest attitude in the thread, though.

I disagree with you.
NP

Ok. I guess you and the PP think it's mean to suggest thrift stores then. I shop at Target and thrift stores my kid's dresses. I guess I must be a mean, snobby girl, but really these are the best places to shop for dresses for this occasion and in this budget. She said Low SES so some of us who are also not rich thought she was serious about a budget. You'd think it would be mean to suggest Nordstrom or Macys, since I personally won't even buy stuff from Nordstrom in my budget and I am not even Low SES but middle class. If you don't want affordable options, why even mention the Low SES part?

OP here. I started a “regular thread” that was completely ignored and I was seeking specific suggestions and needed to go today so I started this SES thread as a bit of an S.O.S., if you will. I was very specific that I did NOT want suggestions like “thrift” or “be economical” or “think of the environment” because this is special. I’ve saved for it, I wanted my daughter to actually walk into a nice store full of new clothes and not have to deal with the Once Upon a Child or thrift type of environment. I was very clear. So no, the suggestions to “just do this or that” were not helpful.

No it was NOT a bad suggestion to name Macy’s, as an actually helpful poster did, because I had saved for this purpose, for this experience. We got to go to Macy’s today and find a nice dress and not have to thrift like always.

Again, I appreciate the actually helpful posters who got it without trying to talk me out of my clearly outlined mission that I had saved for.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I cannot believe how judgmental, unkind and unhelpful some of you are choosing to be to a mother who has been saving for something special for your daughter.

Look in the mirror. You are the Mean Girls. It’s you. Shame on you.

OP, I’m glad you and your daughter found a special dress. Get off DCUM for a while and enjoy your family and your life.

Yours is the meanest attitude in the thread, though.

I disagree with you.
NP

Ok. I guess you and the PP think it's mean to suggest thrift stores then. I shop at Target and thrift stores my kid's dresses. I guess I must be a mean, snobby girl, but really these are the best places to shop for dresses for this occasion and in this budget. She said Low SES so some of us who are also not rich thought she was serious about a budget. You'd think it would be mean to suggest Nordstrom or Macys, since I personally won't even buy stuff from Nordstrom in my budget and I am not even Low SES but middle class. If you don't want affordable options, why even mention the Low SES part?

OP here. I started a “regular thread” that was completely ignored and I was seeking specific suggestions and needed to go today so I started this SES thread as a bit of an S.O.S., if you will. I was very specific that I did NOT want suggestions like “thrift” or “be economical” or “think of the environment” because this is special. I’ve saved for it, I wanted my daughter to actually walk into a nice store full of new clothes and not have to deal with the Once Upon a Child or thrift type of environment. I was very clear. So no, the suggestions to “just do this or that” were not helpful.

No it was NOT a bad suggestion to name Macy’s, as an actually helpful poster did, because I had saved for this purpose, for this experience. We got to go to Macy’s today and find a nice dress and not have to thrift like always.

Again, I appreciate the actually helpful posters who got it without trying to talk me out of my clearly outlined mission that I had saved for.

I read your original post and I had an absolutely no idea that you were looking to splurge on a dress. I suggested Kohl's because I found great things there for my tween. Not that all of their dresses are cheap, at least not to me. Saying low SES in the title was very strange.

- someone very likely with less money than you