MIL announced she is filing for divorce

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did SFIL cut ties with his family when he married MIL?

I have only ever heard rumors about why he wasn’t in contact with them, but I do know that he tried to reach out to them consistently over the years. Only when his mother died did his grown children agree to speak with him and see him.

And then MIL made this proclamation last weekend.

That’s all I know on that subject.

You continue to characterize this woman telling her son about her life an "announcement" or "proclamation." It is so bizarre and dripping with disdain....

While op is a bit rough around the edges, I'd say her characterization of MIL's news as a proclamation or announcement is correct.

If so, when is telling somebody something about your life not an announcement or proclamation? What is the difference between that and informing or telling? OR is it all synonymous and you would use those words if your friend/relative told you she had planned a vacation, had received a scary diagnosis, or was changing jobs?

Genuinely curious how others think of this.

[Anonymous]

Proclamation: A clear declaration

In my context, a declaration that is seemingly out-of-the-blue.

I don’t know specifics about the rumors about SFILs prior marriage because I don’t know his first wife or her children. I have never met them. All I know about them is from MIL and she has told me that she hates them but I don’t know why specifically. This is all old stuff as well. It all happened in the 1980s. I didn’t know my spouse or his family back then.

[Anonymous]

So, there is a lot of concern for SFIL, spouse’s brother and family, and also spouse and OP, but zero actual concern for MIL. Why so little concern for MiL? Maybe SFIL was an abusive jerk. Since his previous family wants nothing to do with hum something is off. But he sure got the benefit of doubt.

[Anonymous]

Literally no one made any abuse allegations in any of these posts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Who said anything about butting in?

Spouse didn’t offer anything in return to her announcement. He just wants to maintain a good relationship with his own brother.

sounds like a spouse problem. Or am I missing something?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Literally no one made any abuse allegations in any of these posts.

Why else would a man's children cut him off? It's not hard to read between the lines here. This man has had no contact with his children for decades. That's not normal. Fill in the blank as to the reasons why. None of them are good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well that sounds rough. Does stepfather have children of his own?

He does but hasn’t seen them for decades. He reconnected with one of his daughters at his mother’s funeral recently.

We are on good terms with him.

Well, he's probably a difficult person or has some issues. I'd think there's a lot going on here that you don't know.

Or he's been a crappy caregiver when she needs it, and she doesn't want to sign on for that any longer since he won't.

I’m inclined to this theory.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well that sounds rough. Does stepfather have children of his own?

He does but hasn’t seen them for decades. He reconnected with one of his daughters at his mother’s funeral recently.

We are on good terms with him.

Well, he's probably a difficult person or has some issues. I'd think there's a lot going on here that you don't know.

Or he's been a crappy caregiver when she needs it, and she doesn't want to sign on for that any longer since he won't.

I’m inclined to this theory.

You are definitely wrong. The degree of other posters assuming incorrect facts from their own personal lives means that this thread has run its course.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well that sounds rough. Does stepfather have children of his own?

He does but hasn’t seen them for decades. He reconnected with one of his daughters at his mother’s funeral recently.

We are on good terms with him.

Well, he's probably a difficult person or has some issues. I'd think there's a lot going on here that you don't know.

Or he's been a crappy caregiver when she needs it, and she doesn't want to sign on for that any longer since he won't.

I’m inclined to this theory.

You are definitely wrong. The degree of other posters assuming incorrect facts from their own personal lives means that this thread has run its course.

As a general rule, children (all, not just one of them) do not cut off contact with their parent unless the parent has done something pretty bad.
As a general rule, one spouse does not seek divorce unless the other has done something pretty bad.

When you have BOTH of these things, I PROCLAIM that it is very reasonable to conclude that there is something that FIL is doing to cause people to want to cut ties with him. Your MIL and all of his children thought so.

[Anonymous]

As a general rule with relationships, I try my best to leave my assumptions at the door. I use what I observe and what is shared with me to draw my own conclusions.

As the saying goes, when we assume…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a general rule with relationships, I try my best to leave my assumptions at the door. I use what I observe and what is shared with me to draw my own conclusions.

As the saying goes, when we assume…

The bolded is literally what I did.

And if you aren't assuming anything, what the heck are you complaining/venting about?
Literally nothing at all has happened that is bad or that impacts you.

Are you just ASSUMING something might?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, did your BIL encourage this turn of events? Did he actively encourage his mother to move in with them? Seems strange. Must be more to the story.

I don’t know. When spouse told me about this, I did encourage him to call his brother and ask for his side of the story. Something is off.

Why do you keep saying spouse?

I’m married. I’m referring to my spouse’s mother and stepfather. HTH.

Just say husband.

I'm going to refer to you as idiot instead of PP. Idiot is an idiot.

[Anonymous]

So, my spouse called his sibling (the one that MIL said she was moving in with and his wife was encouraging this), and he had no idea that MIL was planning to move in. That was all that he asked about because the divorce announcement is not our news to share and the sibling didn’t bring it up.

This is going to be a weird next holiday season. Or it will blow over (I hope). We’ll see.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So, my spouse called his sibling (the one that MIL said she was moving in with and his wife was encouraging this), and he had no idea that MIL was planning to move in. That was all that he asked about because the divorce announcement is not our news to share and the sibling didn’t bring it up.

This is going to be a weird next holiday season. Or it will blow over (I hope). We’ll see.

Ok troll.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, did your BIL encourage this turn of events? Did he actively encourage his mother to move in with them? Seems strange. Must be more to the story.

I don’t know. When spouse told me about this, I did encourage him to call his brother and ask for his side of the story. Something is off.

Why do you keep saying spouse?

I’m married. I’m referring to my spouse’s mother and stepfather. HTH.

Just say husband.

I'm going to refer to you as idiot instead of PP. Idiot is an idiot.

The idiot is OP troll and puppet. Her poor writing skillz also give away her many troll posts.