How not to feel bad when other families go on a trip every break

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Has anyone mentioned the obvious? Don’t live in elite striver bubbles where you always feel less than, no matter how much you earn or spend.

Our life got so much better when we moved from one of these ”top” communities to a mixed income suburb. There was no difference in the schools, besides the fact that they’ve got middle class and poor kids in them.

This really is the way- were in a mixed neighborhood (veering towards UMC) and it’s pretty balanced overall, and even the families who do go on vacations, don’t go on big blowout vacations every break.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know 3 women under the age of 50 who have passed away suddenly just this year, and it impresses upon me the reality that tomorrow isn’t promised. If I have the ability and means to take a vacation, I will!

+1

I almost bailed on a beach trip with my mother during that whole smoke air quality thing last year. Little did I know at the time it was the last time we’d see her at the beach healthy. So glad my daughter has that memory.

[Anonymous]

We have taken some cool trips. Nothing extravagant like some of the trips on this forum, but still nice trips. Ask my kids to name their favorite ones and they will always mention the ones with extended family. Cousin fun (even if it's a beach house or cabin) always trumps the cool and more $$$ trips.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have taken some cool trips. Nothing extravagant like some of the trips on this forum, but still nice trips. Ask my kids to name their favorite ones and they will always mention the ones with extended family. Cousin fun (even if it's a beach house or cabin) always trumps the cool and more $$$ trips.

My kids (now teens) do the same thing. They have traveled all over and their favorites are lake/beach house rental with cousins, or visiting cousins at their homes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have taken some cool trips. Nothing extravagant like some of the trips on this forum, but still nice trips. Ask my kids to name their favorite ones and they will always mention the ones with extended family. Cousin fun (even if it's a beach house or cabin) always trumps the cool and more $$$ trips.

My kids (now teens) do the same thing. They have traveled all over and their favorites are lake/beach house rental with cousins, or visiting cousins at their homes.

I grew up quite poor and we traveled every summer to spend 4 weeks in a tent in New Hampshire. It was the best. We now have cash to burn and travel a fair amount but it is for the intrinsic pleasure and education we get out of it. Some of it is bragworthy (but it doesn't get posted on social media) but a lot of it isn't. I think there are cheap ways to have meaningful vacations, and expensive ways to have vacations meant only to impress. Kind of depends what you're into.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Honestly, that sounds utterly exhausting. I can afford all this but I get tired of so much travel.

Same here. Money not an issue but won't travel just to impress someone else.

We travel a lot. I don’t travel to impress others. I love to travel.

Me too!

Me too, it’s a priority for me, but I also don’t post on social media anymore.

Anymore lolz

At least I’m being honest! I doubt you’ve never posted lol.

And you just proved you’re a total moron!

And you just proved you’re a mean girl with name calling?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, that sounds utterly exhausting. I can afford all this but I get tired of so much travel.

Really? Why would it be tiring?

We went on vacation for Feb break and will go again first week of April. Its like 6-8 weeks in between.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have taken some cool trips. Nothing extravagant like some of the trips on this forum, but still nice trips. Ask my kids to name their favorite ones and they will always mention the ones with extended family. Cousin fun (even if it's a beach house or cabin) always trumps the cool and more $$$ trips.

My kids (now teens) do the same thing. They have traveled all over and their favorites are lake/beach house rental with cousins, or visiting cousins at their homes.

I grew up quite poor and we traveled every summer to spend 4 weeks in a tent in New Hampshire. It was the best. We now have cash to burn and travel a fair amount but it is for the intrinsic pleasure and education we get out of it. Some of it is bragworthy (but it doesn't get posted on social media) but a lot of it isn't. I think there are cheap ways to have meaningful vacations, and expensive ways to have vacations meant only to impress. Kind of depends what you're into.

We travel a lot. Most people we know also like to travel. Not everyone likes to do the same things.

I’m a sahm and Dh earns a lot of money. We travel every break and most of the summer. I’m not trying to impress anyone. We visit friends and family. We plan trips with friends and family. My kids can pick a place each. This summer we will start college visits.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have taken some cool trips. Nothing extravagant like some of the trips on this forum, but still nice trips. Ask my kids to name their favorite ones and they will always mention the ones with extended family. Cousin fun (even if it's a beach house or cabin) always trumps the cool and more $$$ trips.

My kids (now teens) do the same thing. They have traveled all over and their favorites are lake/beach house rental with cousins, or visiting cousins at their homes.

I grew up quite poor and we traveled every summer to spend 4 weeks in a tent in New Hampshire. It was the best. We now have cash to burn and travel a fair amount but it is for the intrinsic pleasure and education we get out of it. Some of it is bragworthy (but it doesn't get posted on social media) but a lot of it isn't. I think there are cheap ways to have meaningful vacations, and expensive ways to have vacations meant only to impress. Kind of depends what you're into.

We travel a lot. Most people we know also like to travel. Not everyone likes to do the same things.

I’m a sahm and Dh earns a lot of money. We travel every break and most of the summer. I’m not trying to impress anyone. We visit friends and family. We plan trips with friends and family. My kids can pick a place each. This summer we will start college visits.

So it's not just about different priorities but also the $ and ability to travel. Good for you for acknowledging it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tiniest violin etc I know but lots of other families travel to amazing places every break. Europe for skiing over winter and February break, then Caribbean for spring break and summers in Martha’s vineyard. How not to feel bad about your own family when you haven’t taken a real vacation in years besides to visit grandparents?

OP. It sounds like you are resentful about having to visit the grandparents all the time. Can you carve out one break where you go somewhere else?

[Anonymous]

I hate traveling but do it for the kids/family memories. My kids like 1-2 trips a year but not more than that. When I hear about other families traveling extensively I'm really glad that's not me. Maybe focus on what you do have that other families don't--i.e. health, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I guess an advantage of growing up poor like me is that not traveling often doesn’t bother me in the least. Grow up OP.

+1

Same. We now have big trips every five years or so, and now that some of our kids are working, they live cheap and fund their own travels. Travel cheap when you are young, and you won't have to worry about what the Joneses are doing. Stay in a youth hostel, eat at the local holes in the wall. Better yet, hang out with people who are more like you - so you don't have to compare!

Our kids knew that when they were little, we had less money, and our "big trip" was to Disney every few years, because that is what they wanted, so we had to scrimp and save. Those are our memories, and we are more than thankful, because DH and I did not get that growing up. (That, and no way we could afford Disney more than a couple times!).

It also helps to teach your children about saving money for what they prioritize - be it travel, or whatever. I don't understand people with less money not willing to sacrifice and stay/eat at the "not fancy" places, nor do I understand the "bragging rights" mission. You are on vacation - enjoy your family, instead of posting on social media a million times per day.

No matter where you get to vacation, enjoy these precious days, OP, seriously.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Honestly, that sounds utterly exhausting. I can afford all this but I get tired of so much travel.

Same here. Money not an issue but won't travel just to impress someone else.

We travel a lot. I don’t travel to impress others. I love to travel.

Me too!

Me too, it’s a priority for me, but I also don’t post on social media anymore.

+1. Because every one feels entitled to try to count others pennies, no matter how inaccurate.

[Anonymous]

I love all the people posting here, in response to OP saying she feels bad she can’t afford more travel, all about all the great travel they can afford. Seriously guys?

[Anonymous]

How do you mix with that crowd if you haven't been able to afford a real vacation in years? The socioeconomic differences seem stark. I would get myself out of that setting.