How not to feel bad when other families go on a trip every break

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:[url]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We travel quite a bit, I wouldn’t say a lot, because we have one easy tween and we all enjoy it.
What we don’t have is Stanley Cups and apple AirPods. Most of her peers at her Christian private do. I don’t feel bad. I choose not to spend my money on stuff like that.
Spending is about making choices. Don’t feel bad for the ones you make for you family.

Agree. We go on amazing trips (think: safaris, Galapagos, French Polynesia, those kinds of places). But we choose to drive cars that are more than ten years old, we shop (rarely) for clothes at Marshall’s, etc. We live very frugally. Some of these PPs are using latest model iPhones, driving new cars, and shopping at Nordstrom but then they get all mad when you tell them about your amazing trips. Life is about priorities and my family prioritizes expensive travel.

Please step out of your bubble. As someone who also prioritizes travel l, I can tell you that a lot of these families do not have the latest iPhone, drive new cars, etc. and they can still not afford to travel. So please don’t think that the secret to travel is to prioritize it.

It is, though, for many in this area.

My daughter has known from three that I won’t spend money on little things so I can take her on great trips. So our water bottles come with us and we don’t get drinks and snacks when we’re out, we don’t buy much new clothes (shoes, underwear, bathing suits, everything else is hand me downs, second hand, or shopped deals in advance) my car is ten years old and runs great so I’m not trading up just to have a new one. We have an iPad mini from 2016 and it’s my kids only movie-watching device.

There are plenty of people at the same level of income (I’m a fed we know everyone’s salary…) who have to have a new car every five years and dress their kids in Boden, and then are sad when they “can’t afford” to travel. I’m not saying that’s OP, just that it’s a not-uncommon phenomenon.

Oh come on. You can buy AirPods and Stanley cups for everyone in your family and get a new 65” TV for $1,000 total.
You cannot say that this is the reason you can afford a $5,000 trip to the Galápagos Islands for spring break.

I notice you leave off the new cars ($35,000) and expensive wardrobes ($1,000x person, 4 person family) which absolutely do add up to a $5,000 Galapagos trip.

Lol at these numbers - “Regular” new cars are running $50k+ these days and $1k per person wardrobe is not buying much if you’re working in person in a corporate office or have a kid in an extracurricular like dance. And good luck with that trip to the Galapagos for only $5k.

$5k is the number the person ahead was using.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tiniest violin etc I know but lots of other families travel to amazing places every break. Europe for skiing over winter and February break, then Caribbean for spring break and summers in Martha’s vineyard. How not to feel bad about your own family when you haven’t taken a real vacation in years besides to visit grandparents?

Jealousy and envy will eat you alive. Count your blessings. A visit to grandparents may not be the Riviera, Caribbean, or Nantucket but it is a visit with people who love you and people that you love. Again, count your blessings. Many of us would give anything to visit with long gone loved ones.

this is very true- while my mother was alive, every vacation was a trip to grandma's. we didnt start traveling until she was gone and I'd give anything to spend 2 weeks in her cosy living room eating her home cooked meals. The weekends we spend at my in-laws are more enjoyable fro y kids than any amount of travel we do, so while some may Abe more material wealth, having grandparents to visit is priceless wealth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We travel quite a bit, I wouldn’t say a lot, because we have one easy tween and we all enjoy it.
What we don’t have is Stanley Cups and apple AirPods. Most of her peers at her Christian private do. I don’t feel bad. I choose not to spend my money on stuff like that.
Spending is about making choices. Don’t feel bad for the ones you make for you family.

Is this really a good trade-off for your tween, though?
My mom was like this. She grew up poor, was in 4H, and made most of her own clothes. Then she went to medical school, married my dad who went to law school, and sent us all to UMC public school. My mom thought that in-season clothes and accessories were beyond ridiculous and money was better spent on other things. The thing is, that’s really the only time in your life it really matters. When I was 14, 15, 16, I would have given up almost anything to look like the other kids and wear the kinds of clothes that the other kids had.

Especially if you are 13-16 at a private school (Christian private included), it's much more important to fit in and have certain things than it is to travel..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tiniest violin etc I know but lots of other families travel to amazing places every break. Europe for skiing over winter and February break, then Caribbean for spring break and summers in Martha’s vineyard. How not to feel bad about your own family when you haven’t taken a real vacation in years besides to visit grandparents?

Jealousy and envy will eat you alive. Count your blessings. A visit to grandparents may not be the Riviera, Caribbean, or Nantucket but it is a visit with people who love you and people that you love. Again, count your blessings. Many of us would give anything to visit with long gone loved ones.

this is very true- while my mother was alive, every vacation was a trip to grandma's. we didnt start traveling until she was gone and I'd give anything to spend 2 weeks in her cosy living room eating her home cooked meals. The weekends we spend at my in-laws are more enjoyable fro y kids than any amount of travel we do, so while some may Abe more material wealth, having grandparents to visit is priceless wealth.

+1. Just spent spring break visiting my parents and my extended family and it was wonderful. The kids loved it and were so sad when we were leaving. These are priceless memories and must be cherished before it’s too late.

[Anonymous]

Why are all these families dealing with jetlag to ski in Europe? Snobbery? Plenty of nice places in the US.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why are all these families dealing with jetlag to ski in Europe? Snobbery? Plenty of nice places in the US.

I think it’s because it’s cheaper. Or maybe they have family there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are all these families dealing with jetlag to ski in Europe? Snobbery? Plenty of nice places in the US.

I think it’s because it’s cheaper. Or maybe they have family there.

A lot of the nice places in the U.S are getting really expensive, and you’re going to deal with jet lag going to Vail or Whistler too, there’s not a lot of nice east coast skiing at the end of March. (When I skied in Europe I attached it to a work trip, this was just my observation at the time.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why are all these families dealing with jetlag to ski in Europe? Snobbery? Plenty of nice places in the US.

We flew to the west coast (we normal go to FL) and I regret it. We underestimated the jet lag and the time lost to travel. We are going to stick to the east coast from now on unless it’s summer and we have way more time to recover.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We travel quite a bit, I wouldn’t say a lot, because we have one easy tween and we all enjoy it.
What we don’t have is Stanley Cups and apple AirPods. Most of her peers at her Christian private do. I don’t feel bad. I choose not to spend my money on stuff like that.
Spending is about making choices. Don’t feel bad for the ones you make for you family.

Is this really a good trade-off for your tween, though?
My mom was like this. She grew up poor, was in 4H, and made most of her own clothes. Then she went to medical school, married my dad who went to law school, and sent us all to UMC public school. My mom thought that in-season clothes and accessories were beyond ridiculous and money was better spent on other things. The thing is, that’s really the only time in your life it really matters. When I was 14, 15, 16, I would have given up almost anything to look like the other kids and wear the kinds of clothes that the other kids had.

Why didn't you earn/spend your own money on clothes then? Starting at 13 my parents stopped paying for my clothes. I babysat and bought my own. This was in the late 80s/early 90s.
Same with makeup, any hygiene products beyond Dove bar soap and Crest toothpaste (so any facial cleaners, moisturizers, shampoo/conditioner/styling gel, etc.)
You say you would have "given up almost anything" but all it would have taken is giving up some evenings and weekends to work a job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We travel quite a bit, I wouldn’t say a lot, because we have one easy tween and we all enjoy it.
What we don’t have is Stanley Cups and apple AirPods. Most of her peers at her Christian private do. I don’t feel bad. I choose not to spend my money on stuff like that.
Spending is about making choices. Don’t feel bad for the ones you make for you family.

Is this really a good trade-off for your tween, though?
My mom was like this. She grew up poor, was in 4H, and made most of her own clothes. Then she went to medical school, married my dad who went to law school, and sent us all to UMC public school. My mom thought that in-season clothes and accessories were beyond ridiculous and money was better spent on other things. The thing is, that’s really the only time in your life it really matters. When I was 14, 15, 16, I would have given up almost anything to look like the other kids and wear the kinds of clothes that the other kids had.

Why didn't you earn/spend your own money on clothes then? Starting at 13 my parents stopped paying for my clothes. I babysat and bought my own. This was in the late 80s/early 90s.
Same with makeup, any hygiene products beyond Dove bar soap and Crest toothpaste (so any facial cleaners, moisturizers, shampoo/conditioner/styling gel, etc.)
You say you would have "given up almost anything" but all it would have taken is giving up some evenings and weekends to work a job.

I babysat some and had a 40 hour a week job in the summer, but I didn’t have that kind of autonomy with my money. It went into a mutual fund to save for college.

[Anonymous]

My sister is one who does big spring breaks: beaches turks and caicos, top of the line places.

Last year she cried to me when she got back because she had SO many messages at work and came back to a big mess. She just cried "i can't even go away for 5 days"...

so it's not always what you seem

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:[url]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We travel quite a bit, I wouldn’t say a lot, because we have one easy tween and we all enjoy it.
What we don’t have is Stanley Cups and apple AirPods. Most of her peers at her Christian private do. I don’t feel bad. I choose not to spend my money on stuff like that.
Spending is about making choices. Don’t feel bad for the ones you make for you family.

Agree. We go on amazing trips (think: safaris, Galapagos, French Polynesia, those kinds of places). But we choose to drive cars that are more than ten years old, we shop (rarely) for clothes at Marshall’s, etc. We live very frugally. Some of these PPs are using latest model iPhones, driving new cars, and shopping at Nordstrom but then they get all mad when you tell them about your amazing trips. Life is about priorities and my family prioritizes expensive travel.

Please step out of your bubble. As someone who also prioritizes travel l, I can tell you that a lot of these families do not have the latest iPhone, drive new cars, etc. and they can still not afford to travel. So please don’t think that the secret to travel is to prioritize it.

It is, though, for many in this area.

My daughter has known from three that I won’t spend money on little things so I can take her on great trips. So our water bottles come with us and we don’t get drinks and snacks when we’re out, we don’t buy much new clothes (shoes, underwear, bathing suits, everything else is hand me downs, second hand, or shopped deals in advance) my car is ten years old and runs great so I’m not trading up just to have a new one. We have an iPad mini from 2016 and it’s my kids only movie-watching device.

There are plenty of people at the same level of income (I’m a fed we know everyone’s salary…) who have to have a new car every five years and dress their kids in Boden, and then are sad when they “can’t afford” to travel. I’m not saying that’s OP, just that it’s a not-uncommon phenomenon.

Oh come on. You can buy AirPods and Stanley cups for everyone in your family and get a new 65” TV for $1,000 total.
You cannot say that this is the reason you can afford a $5,000 trip to the Galápagos Islands for spring break.

I notice you leave off the new cars ($35,000) and expensive wardrobes ($1,000x person, 4 person family) which absolutely do add up to a $5,000 Galapagos trip.

Lol at these numbers - “Regular” new cars are running $50k+ these days and $1k per person wardrobe is not buying much if you’re working in person in a corporate office or have a kid in an extracurricular like dance. And good luck with that trip to the Galapagos for only $5k.

I am not sure exactly how much we spend on clothes per kid but it is probably around 1k per kid. I always thought we were casual. We dress very casual and comfortable.

We just spent 30k+ on spring break.

[Anonymous]

I know it’s frustrating. Growing up, my parents took me on fantastic vacations all over the US. My husband didn’t like to go on trips, so we took very few family vacations and I always regretted not being able to give my kids those experiences.

HOWEVER, DC is a fabulous place to be if you can’t travel. Aside from the fact that it makes a fantastic vacation destination in and of itself, it brings the world to your doorstep. There are so many great festivals that allow you to explore other cultures (Smithsonian Folklife and Sakura Matsuri were 2 of our favorites). There are ethnic restaurants, performances of all kinds - including international acts, and museums that have special events. There are cultural organizations that may sponsor special events, as well.

https://sakuramatsuri.org/

https://festival.si.edu/

DC also serves as a great home base from which to take day trips or spend long weekends at Baltimore, Luray caverns, the beach, Shenandoah, Philadelphia, Williamsburg, or even New York.

I know DCUM is antiscreen, but there are some fabulous resources that bring the world into your home - live webcams of National parks and other places of interest. Residents of an area showing you the special places of interest, giving you their perspective, and explaining their culture, music and dance performances, shows that make history come alive, incredible footage of every natural phenomenon, and expert explanations of any topic of interest, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We travel quite a bit, I wouldn’t say a lot, because we have one easy tween and we all enjoy it.
What we don’t have is Stanley Cups and apple AirPods. Most of her peers at her Christian private do. I don’t feel bad. I choose not to spend my money on stuff like that.
Spending is about making choices. Don’t feel bad for the ones you make for you family.

Is this really a good trade-off for your tween, though?
My mom was like this. She grew up poor, was in 4H, and made most of her own clothes. Then she went to medical school, married my dad who went to law school, and sent us all to UMC public school. My mom thought that in-season clothes and accessories were beyond ridiculous and money was better spent on other things. The thing is, that’s really the only time in your life it really matters. When I was 14, 15, 16, I would have given up almost anything to look like the other kids and wear the kinds of clothes that the other kids had.

Especially if you are 13-16 at a private school (Christian private included), it's much more important to fit in and have certain things than it is to travel..

Again, fashion and “fitting in” is your priority. My family prioritizes awesome trips and we just.don’t.care about fashion and what’s considered “in”.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:[url]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We travel quite a bit, I wouldn’t say a lot, because we have one easy tween and we all enjoy it.
What we don’t have is Stanley Cups and apple AirPods. Most of her peers at her Christian private do. I don’t feel bad. I choose not to spend my money on stuff like that.
Spending is about making choices. Don’t feel bad for the ones you make for you family.

Agree. We go on amazing trips (think: safaris, Galapagos, French Polynesia, those kinds of places). But we choose to drive cars that are more than ten years old, we shop (rarely) for clothes at Marshall’s, etc. We live very frugally. Some of these PPs are using latest model iPhones, driving new cars, and shopping at Nordstrom but then they get all mad when you tell them about your amazing trips. Life is about priorities and my family prioritizes expensive travel.

Please step out of your bubble. As someone who also prioritizes travel l, I can tell you that a lot of these families do not have the latest iPhone, drive new cars, etc. and they can still not afford to travel. So please don’t think that the secret to travel is to prioritize it.

This is PP. I know I am privileged. I grew up poor (which is why I still live frugally). I am not living in a bubble. I work hard for my money and I will spend it as I please.

No one cares.

PP here. Apparently OP cares about my fantastic trips!