Birthday parties that we would rather skip

[Anonymous]

It’s an invite not an obligation. Why on earth do you think you have to go?!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why does your kid know so many kids in moco if you live in DC? If you’re sending him to school there, that’s kind of on you.

And personally I think it’s rude. Imagine if people were declining your kid’s party just because they didn’t feel like making the effort to drive there.

+1
This was always my worst fear as a parent- that no one would want to show up to my child's birthday party! I always go to all parties. It's a nice thing to do and this phase doesn't last forever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Get over yourself and do this for your kid!

Every weekend? No thanks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why does your kid know so many kids in moco if you live in DC? If you’re sending him to school there, that’s kind of on you.

And personally I think it’s rude. Imagine if people were declining your kid’s party just because they didn’t feel like making the effort to drive there.

+1
This was always my worst fear as a parent- that no one would want to show up to my child's birthday party! I always go to all parties. It's a nice thing to do and this phase doesn't last forever.

Disagree completely. It’s not up to me to make your child’s birthday special.

[Anonymous]

These parties cost money - like $25-40 per kid invited. If my child is not close with the celebrant, we decline. I don’t start off with “Do you want to play laser tag for Joey’s BD?” Because my kid will make a homemade card and go to any party he is invited to for the opportunity to eat cake and have a goody bag. I ask my child “Is there someone in your class named Joey? Do you sit with him at lunch or play at recess?” If my kid is like “Joey who” or “I never talk to him”, we decline.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why does your kid know so many kids in moco if you live in DC? If you’re sending him to school there, that’s kind of on you.

And personally I think it’s rude. Imagine if people were declining your kid’s party just because they didn’t feel like making the effort to drive there.

People drive for parties. In Arlington we have been invited to Rockville, Springfield, Burke, and Tysons. The parties got further as the kids got older and people car pool.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why does your kid know so many kids in moco if you live in DC? If you’re sending him to school there, that’s kind of on you.

And personally I think it’s rude. Imagine if people were declining your kid’s party just because they didn’t feel like making the effort to drive there.

+1
This was always my worst fear as a parent- that no one would want to show up to my child's birthday party! I always go to all parties. It's a nice thing to do and this phase doesn't last forever.

Disagree completely. It’s not up to me to make your child’s birthday special.

Yikes! I only had one class party in 1st grade and a couple small parties at home with 3-5 people. Thankfully they showed up!

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I hope I won't get flamed for this - I guess it'll come off judgy but I don't mean it that way.

My child is six, in first grade. We're pretty permissive but we generally don't allow video games; also, after a bad injury last year, we're kind of anxious about high-impact activities. If birthday parties at places like Dave & Busters or SkyZone were once in a blue moon, it would be fine, but it seems like every weekend our son is invited to another party at a place where we would ordinarily never let him play. Of course, he loves these events, and we want him to have fun. But it's a long drive to Gaithersburg or northern Rockville from where we live downtown, so every party eats up a whole afternoon, plus I have to spend money on a gift for some kid who isn't even close friend to my son. Is it cruel and/or rude to decline some of these invites?

Don't overdo it. Sounds like you have many friends as does your child. The combination could create an overwhelming amount of events. This may be especially tough on you if you're an introvert.

OP here - thank you for acknowledging this. I am very introverted, but I do not have social anxiety and I am friendly and comfortable with a good number of the parents who inevitably attend these parties. Our kids also play sports and attend aftercare together.

Then politely decline. People usually know that introverts need alone recharge time, yes, but they rarely understand how draining events like chaotic birthday parties can be. Ugh, the small talk is exhausting.

OP needs to rope her husband in on this. Dads aren’t expected to make small talk, for some reason.

OP here - my husband loves the small talk. And in this crowd, I don't mind it either. I really like our community here. It's just about driving all the way out there, maybe even missing an activity that we've already paid for (like a swim lesson), and losing an afternoon.

I am the poster who said I decline invited for kids my kid is not close to. Here’s my rule -
We never skip a game for a team sport for a party. For rec league team team sports I let my kids miss 1 game total for a non-illness reason, but I aim for zero. Our reasons we do skip are usually something like concert/play tickets or family photos scheduled months before team schedules are made.
We sometimes skip a lesson or pre-paid class for a close friend or leave the class a bit early / arrive at the party a bit late. If arriving late I ask the host to make sure it’s not disruptive.
What I never do is make my kid leave a party early (last 30 min are usually good and cake) to go to a class or lesson. It’s hard to pull even a 10-11 yr old away from their friends. If we need to leave early to make it to a team sport game, I set my kid’s expectations in advance and let them choose.

[Anonymous]

OP you can't be this simple and naive. How in the name of common sense is it rude to decline a birthday party invite?

[Anonymous]

Just please RSVP in time for venue head count and/or so they can invite someone else. Also, consider this is a good problem to have. Your kid is well liked. No, they don’t have to go to every party. You really can say no.

[Anonymous]

I just threw a party at Dave and busters. Part of the reason is because we can accommodate a lot of kids. I just try to be inclusive. Totally fine if you or your kid don’t come. Please just RSVP no in a timely manner, preferably sooner than later. I hate late rsvps because I end up getting favors for all the no replies in case they say yes last minute.

I personally hate Dave and busters, sky zone, bowlero, laser tag, zava zone, all those places. My kids love them. They love seeing their friends at parties. If the choice is having all these kids at my house or at these venues, I’d rather have the party at a venue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:These parties cost money - like $25-40 per kid invited. If my child is not close with the celebrant, we decline. I don’t start off with “Do you want to play laser tag for Joey’s BD?” Because my kid will make a homemade card and go to any party he is invited to for the opportunity to eat cake and have a goody bag. I ask my child “Is there someone in your class named Joey? Do you sit with him at lunch or play at recess?” If my kid is like “Joey who” or “I never talk to him”, we decline.

Sounds like your kid really wants to go to parties even if he doesn’t know the actual birthday kid really well. His/her other friends will be there so that’s why it’s fun for them. What’s the big deal?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Get over yourself and do this for your kid!

Every weekend? No thanks.

Your kid gets invited to 52 parties per year?

[Anonymous]

Imagine your child invites a bunch of people to his or her party and hardly anyone comes— perhaps due to distance or cost or whatever. Your heart is broken into a million little pieces watching your child’s crestfallen face. Just fing show up with bells on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These parties cost money - like $25-40 per kid invited. If my child is not close with the celebrant, we decline. I don’t start off with “Do you want to play laser tag for Joey’s BD?” Because my kid will make a homemade card and go to any party he is invited to for the opportunity to eat cake and have a goody bag. I ask my child “Is there someone in your class named Joey? Do you sit with him at lunch or play at recess?” If my kid is like “Joey who” or “I never talk to him”, we decline.

Sounds like your kid really wants to go to parties even if he doesn’t know the actual birthday kid really well. His/her other friends will be there so that’s why it’s fun for them. What’s the big deal?

DP here. I like to see guest lists on evites so we know who is invited and who is going. Whether it is an all class party, same sex party or friend party, there has never been a party where my kid doesn’t have a friend.