Birthday parties that we would rather skip

[Anonymous]

find someone to carpool with. if you can't do that, just go and drop kid off and run some errands. everybody has errands.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hope I won't get flamed for this - I guess it'll come off judgy but I don't mean it that way.

My child is six, in first grade. We're pretty permissive but we generally don't allow video games; also, after a bad injury last year, we're kind of anxious about high-impact activities. If birthday parties at places like Dave & Busters or SkyZone were once in a blue moon, it would be fine, but it seems like every weekend our son is invited to another party at a place where we would ordinarily never let him play. Of course, he loves these events, and we want him to have fun. But it's a long drive to Gaithersburg or northern Rockville from where we live downtown, so every party eats up a whole afternoon, plus I have to spend money on a gift for some kid who isn't even close friend to my son. Is it cruel and/or rude to decline some of these invites?

Don't overdo it. Sounds like you have many friends as does your child. The combination could create an overwhelming amount of events. This may be especially tough on you if you're an introvert.

OP here - thank you for acknowledging this. I am very introverted, but I do not have social anxiety and I am friendly and comfortable with a good number of the parents who inevitably attend these parties. Our kids also play sports and attend aftercare together.

Then politely decline. People usually know that introverts need alone recharge time, yes, but they rarely understand how draining events like chaotic birthday parties can be. Ugh, the small talk is exhausting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What at Dave & Buster’s is high impact?

It isn't, but it is video games, another separate category of fun kid things OP does not let her special snowflake do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hope I won't get flamed for this - I guess it'll come off judgy but I don't mean it that way.

My child is six, in first grade. We're pretty permissive but we generally don't allow video games; also, after a bad injury last year, we're kind of anxious about high-impact activities. If birthday parties at places like Dave & Busters or SkyZone were once in a blue moon, it would be fine, but it seems like every weekend our son is invited to another party at a place where we would ordinarily never let him play. Of course, he loves these events, and we want him to have fun. But it's a long drive to Gaithersburg or northern Rockville from where we live downtown, so every party eats up a whole afternoon, plus I have to spend money on a gift for some kid who isn't even close friend to my son. Is it cruel and/or rude to decline some of these invites?

Don't overdo it. Sounds like you have many friends as does your child. The combination could create an overwhelming amount of events. This may be especially tough on you if you're an introvert.

OP here - thank you for acknowledging this. I am very introverted, but I do not have social anxiety and I am friendly and comfortable with a good number of the parents who inevitably attend these parties. Our kids also play sports and attend aftercare together.

Then politely decline. People usually know that introverts need alone recharge time, yes, but they rarely understand how draining events like chaotic birthday parties can be. Ugh, the small talk is exhausting.

OP needs to rope her husband in on this. Dads aren’t expected to make small talk, for some reason.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hope I won't get flamed for this - I guess it'll come off judgy but I don't mean it that way.

My child is six, in first grade. We're pretty permissive but we generally don't allow video games; also, after a bad injury last year, we're kind of anxious about high-impact activities. If birthday parties at places like Dave & Busters or SkyZone were once in a blue moon, it would be fine, but it seems like every weekend our son is invited to another party at a place where we would ordinarily never let him play. Of course, he loves these events, and we want him to have fun. But it's a long drive to Gaithersburg or northern Rockville from where we live downtown, so every party eats up a whole afternoon, plus I have to spend money on a gift for some kid who isn't even close friend to my son. Is it cruel and/or rude to decline some of these invites?

Don't overdo it. Sounds like you have many friends as does your child. The combination could create an overwhelming amount of events. This may be especially tough on you if you're an introvert.

OP here - thank you for acknowledging this. I am very introverted, but I do not have social anxiety and I am friendly and comfortable with a good number of the parents who inevitably attend these parties. Our kids also play sports and attend aftercare together.

Then politely decline. People usually know that introverts need alone recharge time, yes, but they rarely understand how draining events like chaotic birthday parties can be. Ugh, the small talk is exhausting.

OP needs to rope her husband in on this. Dads aren’t expected to make small talk, for some reason.

Because they don't care appearances

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hope I won't get flamed for this - I guess it'll come off judgy but I don't mean it that way.

My child is six, in first grade. We're pretty permissive but we generally don't allow video games; also, after a bad injury last year, we're kind of anxious about high-impact activities. If birthday parties at places like Dave & Busters or SkyZone were once in a blue moon, it would be fine, but it seems like every weekend our son is invited to another party at a place where we would ordinarily never let him play. Of course, he loves these events, and we want him to have fun. But it's a long drive to Gaithersburg or northern Rockville from where we live downtown, so every party eats up a whole afternoon, plus I have to spend money on a gift for some kid who isn't even close friend to my son. Is it cruel and/or rude to decline some of these invites?

Don't overdo it. Sounds like you have many friends as does your child. The combination could create an overwhelming amount of events. This may be especially tough on you if you're an introvert.

OP here - thank you for acknowledging this. I am very introverted, but I do not have social anxiety and I am friendly and comfortable with a good number of the parents who inevitably attend these parties. Our kids also play sports and attend aftercare together.

Then politely decline. People usually know that introverts need alone recharge time, yes, but they rarely understand how draining events like chaotic birthday parties can be. Ugh, the small talk is exhausting.

OP needs to rope her husband in on this. Dads aren’t expected to make small talk, for some reason.

OP here - my husband loves the small talk. And in this crowd, I don't mind it either. I really like our community here. It's just about driving all the way out there, maybe even missing an activity that we've already paid for (like a swim lesson), and losing an afternoon.

[Anonymous]

Just do it for your kid. Quit your belly-aching. Some other parent is going to pay for your kid to have fun at a nice venue! Show up and say thank you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hope I won't get flamed for this - I guess it'll come off judgy but I don't mean it that way.

My child is six, in first grade. We're pretty permissive but we generally don't allow video games; also, after a bad injury last year, we're kind of anxious about high-impact activities. If birthday parties at places like Dave & Busters or SkyZone were once in a blue moon, it would be fine, but it seems like every weekend our son is invited to another party at a place where we would ordinarily never let him play. Of course, he loves these events, and we want him to have fun. But it's a long drive to Gaithersburg or northern Rockville from where we live downtown, so every party eats up a whole afternoon, plus I have to spend money on a gift for some kid who isn't even close friend to my son. Is it cruel and/or rude to decline some of these invites?

Don't overdo it. Sounds like you have many friends as does your child. The combination could create an overwhelming amount of events. This may be especially tough on you if you're an introvert.

OP here - thank you for acknowledging this. I am very introverted, but I do not have social anxiety and I am friendly and comfortable with a good number of the parents who inevitably attend these parties. Our kids also play sports and attend aftercare together.

Then politely decline. People usually know that introverts need alone recharge time, yes, but they rarely understand how draining events like chaotic birthday parties can be. Ugh, the small talk is exhausting.

OP needs to rope her husband in on this. Dads aren’t expected to make small talk, for some reason.

OP here - my husband loves the small talk. And in this crowd, I don't mind it either. I really like our community here. It's just about driving all the way out there, maybe even missing an activity that we've already paid for (like a swim lesson), and losing an afternoon.

Say no to the birthday extravaganzas and spend quality time with your family. A picnic in the park, a day at the museums, or even create an activity like a family garden.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hope I won't get flamed for this - I guess it'll come off judgy but I don't mean it that way.

My child is six, in first grade. We're pretty permissive but we generally don't allow video games; also, after a bad injury last year, we're kind of anxious about high-impact activities. If birthday parties at places like Dave & Busters or SkyZone were once in a blue moon, it would be fine, but it seems like every weekend our son is invited to another party at a place where we would ordinarily never let him play. Of course, he loves these events, and we want him to have fun. But it's a long drive to Gaithersburg or northern Rockville from where we live downtown, so every party eats up a whole afternoon, plus I have to spend money on a gift for some kid who isn't even close friend to my son. Is it cruel and/or rude to decline some of these invites?

Don't overdo it. Sounds like you have many friends as does your child. The combination could create an overwhelming amount of events. This may be especially tough on you if you're an introvert.

OP here - thank you for acknowledging this. I am very introverted, but I do not have social anxiety and I am friendly and comfortable with a good number of the parents who inevitably attend these parties. Our kids also play sports and attend aftercare together.

Then politely decline. People usually know that introverts need alone recharge time, yes, but they rarely understand how draining events like chaotic birthday parties can be. Ugh, the small talk is exhausting.

OP needs to rope her husband in on this. Dads aren’t expected to make small talk, for some reason.

OP here - my husband loves the small talk. And in this crowd, I don't mind it either. I really like our community here. It's just about driving all the way out there, maybe even missing an activity that we've already paid for (like a swim lesson), and losing an afternoon.

If you already have something scheduled, just decline the invite! That is an actual valid reason.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hope I won't get flamed for this - I guess it'll come off judgy but I don't mean it that way.

My child is six, in first grade. We're pretty permissive but we generally don't allow video games; also, after a bad injury last year, we're kind of anxious about high-impact activities. If birthday parties at places like Dave & Busters or SkyZone were once in a blue moon, it would be fine, but it seems like every weekend our son is invited to another party at a place where we would ordinarily never let him play. Of course, he loves these events, and we want him to have fun. But it's a long drive to Gaithersburg or northern Rockville from where we live downtown, so every party eats up a whole afternoon, plus I have to spend money on a gift for some kid who isn't even close friend to my son. Is it cruel and/or rude to decline some of these invites?

Don't overdo it. Sounds like you have many friends as does your child. The combination could create an overwhelming amount of events. This may be especially tough on you if you're an introvert.

OP here - thank you for acknowledging this. I am very introverted, but I do not have social anxiety and I am friendly and comfortable with a good number of the parents who inevitably attend these parties. Our kids also play sports and attend aftercare together.

Then politely decline. People usually know that introverts need alone recharge time, yes, but they rarely understand how draining events like chaotic birthday parties can be. Ugh, the small talk is exhausting.

OP needs to rope her husband in on this. Dads aren’t expected to make small talk, for some reason.

OP here - my husband loves the small talk. And in this crowd, I don't mind it either. I really like our community here. It's just about driving all the way out there, maybe even missing an activity that we've already paid for (like a swim lesson), and losing an afternoon.

How is spending an afternoon doing something your child likes with his friends and with people you like too "losing" an afternoon?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hope I won't get flamed for this - I guess it'll come off judgy but I don't mean it that way.

My child is six, in first grade. We're pretty permissive but we generally don't allow video games; also, after a bad injury last year, we're kind of anxious about high-impact activities. If birthday parties at places like Dave & Busters or SkyZone were once in a blue moon, it would be fine, but it seems like every weekend our son is invited to another party at a place where we would ordinarily never let him play. Of course, he loves these events, and we want him to have fun. But it's a long drive to Gaithersburg or northern Rockville from where we live downtown, so every party eats up a whole afternoon, plus I have to spend money on a gift for some kid who isn't even close friend to my son. Is it cruel and/or rude to decline some of these invites?

Don't overdo it. Sounds like you have many friends as does your child. The combination could create an overwhelming amount of events. This may be especially tough on you if you're an introvert.

OP here - thank you for acknowledging this. I am very introverted, but I do not have social anxiety and I am friendly and comfortable with a good number of the parents who inevitably attend these parties. Our kids also play sports and attend aftercare together.

Then politely decline. People usually know that introverts need alone recharge time, yes, but they rarely understand how draining events like chaotic birthday parties can be. Ugh, the small talk is exhausting.

OP needs to rope her husband in on this. Dads aren’t expected to make small talk, for some reason.

OP here - my husband loves the small talk. And in this crowd, I don't mind it either. I really like our community here. It's just about driving all the way out there, maybe even missing an activity that we've already paid for (like a swim lesson), and losing an afternoon.

How is spending an afternoon doing something your child likes with his friends and with people you like too "losing" an afternoon?

Sounds like she means losing quality family time

[Anonymous]

It’s only rude if you don’t RSVP, otherwise it makes zero difference to the other family. If they’re inviting the whole class, then there will be tons of kids there to celebrate the birthday kid.

The only person it’s cruel towards is your son. He’ll be the one who will have to hear everyone else talking about the fun party that he had to skip to stay home and play checkers with mom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s only rude if you don’t RSVP, otherwise it makes zero difference to the other family. If they’re inviting the whole class, then there will be tons of kids there to celebrate the birthday kid.

The only person it’s cruel towards is your son. He’ll be the one who will have to hear everyone else talking about the fun party that he had to skip to stay home and play checkers with mom.

Some families including both the parents and the children prefer to be with their families in their fee time

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s only rude if you don’t RSVP, otherwise it makes zero difference to the other family. If they’re inviting the whole class, then there will be tons of kids there to celebrate the birthday kid.

The only person it’s cruel towards is your son. He’ll be the one who will have to hear everyone else talking about the fun party that he had to skip to stay home and play checkers with mom.

her child may be an introvert, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s only rude if you don’t RSVP, otherwise it makes zero difference to the other family. If they’re inviting the whole class, then there will be tons of kids there to celebrate the birthday kid.

The only person it’s cruel towards is your son. He’ll be the one who will have to hear everyone else talking about the fun party that he had to skip to stay home and play checkers with mom.

her child may be an introvert, too.

OP here - he is definitely NOT an introvert. He's like the mayor of his class. When I initially asked if it was cruel to skip some parties, I meant is it cruel to my son. But we do have a conflict for one party coming up and I just told him he wouldn't be able to go, and he was ok with it.

This has been an interesting debate! I'm glad I asked the question.