Birthday parties that we would rather skip

[Anonymous]

Decline if you don't want to go. By 2nd grade parties are mostly smaller friend groups at least in our school. 10 and fewer.

[Anonymous]

My DC is now in 2nd grade. We had an incident from which we learned who their real friends were—the ones they can count on for support. Before that incident, we would try to go to birthday parties for the birthday child’s sake. After the incident, we only do that for their good friends. Our schedule is too busy for fair weather friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s only rude if you don’t RSVP, otherwise it makes zero difference to the other family. If they’re inviting the whole class, then there will be tons of kids there to celebrate the birthday kid.

The only person it’s cruel towards is your son. He’ll be the one who will have to hear everyone else talking about the fun party that he had to skip to stay home and play checkers with mom.

+1 my kid is bummed when we have to miss a bday party due to an actual conflict. They do hear about them in school. And most kids really enjoy them.

Agree about community and the chance to talk to other parents too. I like seeing how my kid interacts with his classmates, it's a little window into school.

And agree with PPs - it's a phase that passes.

[Anonymous]

We only go to trampoline places if it's a good friend. We don't go for random classmates. I know two kids who broke bones at trampoline places. One was in a wheelchair for several months because it was 1st grade and he couldn't use crutches.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't know if it's rude, but it's not very kind to your son. He enjoys the activities and it's a chance to spend time with friends. If it's drop off, you can get coffee with another parent and grow your community. Unless his doctor said that he's at increased risk of harm because of the prior injury, you are being overprotective.

Maybe I am overprotective... I just don't think I should have to sign a waiver every time I send my child to a birthday party.

When I was in grade school 50 years ago my parents had to sign a waiver for a field trip to the Smithsonian. Waivers are not a new thing.

[Anonymous]

We try to go to every party we’re invited to bc a) I want bday kid to be happy w/ more of their friends there (it would be a bummer if a lot of kids didn’t go cuz it was too far or they didn’t like the venue)…we’ve had a few parties where my kid was one of only 3-4 kids who showed up, and b) because my kid loves going! If you have other obligations (swim lesson is a totally legit excuse to skip bday party-swim lessons are $$! And important), don’t go. But if you can make it happen, I think you should.

In a few years he probably won’t get invited as often as kids tend to have smaller parties as they get older.

[Anonymous]

OP just decline but stop with the excuses. You clearly have a stick up your butt and think these places aren’t good enough for your kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s only rude if you don’t RSVP, otherwise it makes zero difference to the other family. If they’re inviting the whole class, then there will be tons of kids there to celebrate the birthday kid.

The only person it’s cruel towards is your son. He’ll be the one who will have to hear everyone else talking about the fun party that he had to skip to stay home and play checkers with mom.

Or he’s missing the party for a stroke technique clinic that will get him a step closer to HYPS.

[Anonymous]

I attend 99% of birthday invite unless there are schedule conflict that I don't want to miss. I have canceled my kids' classes because those are close friends.

[Anonymous]

You can skip them but keep in mind if your kid never attends he’s going to stop being invited. Long term, you might be curbing his social relationships by refusing to ever drive to a birthday party here and there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s only rude if you don’t RSVP, otherwise it makes zero difference to the other family. If they’re inviting the whole class, then there will be tons of kids there to celebrate the birthday kid.

The only person it’s cruel towards is your son. He’ll be the one who will have to hear everyone else talking about the fun party that he had to skip to stay home and play checkers with mom.

Or he’s missing the party for a stroke technique clinic that will get him a step closer to HYPS.

Delusional.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hope I won't get flamed for this - I guess it'll come off judgy but I don't mean it that way.

My child is six, in first grade. We're pretty permissive but we generally don't allow video games; also, after a bad injury last year, we're kind of anxious about high-impact activities. If birthday parties at places like Dave & Busters or SkyZone were once in a blue moon, it would be fine, but it seems like every weekend our son is invited to another party at a place where we would ordinarily never let him play. Of course, he loves these events, and we want him to have fun. But it's a long drive to Gaithersburg or northern Rockville from where we live downtown, so every party eats up a whole afternoon, plus I have to spend money on a gift for some kid who isn't even close friend to my son. Is it cruel and/or rude to decline some of these invites?

Just decline all invites. With your attitude your kid will get dropped from the invite list soon anyway.

[Anonymous]

My kids love birthday parties. We try to go if we don’t have any conflicts. When kids get older, you can carpool.

[Anonymous]

We go to every party we can make because some have low turnout, and I don't want any child to have a party where no one shows up. My kid isn't very popular and I'm very grateful for all the kids who came to ours (yes at a trampoline park).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't know if it's rude, but it's not very kind to your son. He enjoys the activities and it's a chance to spend time with friends. If it's drop off, you can get coffee with another parent and grow your community. Unless his doctor said that he's at increased risk of harm because of the prior injury, you are being overprotective.

Maybe I am overprotective... I just don't think I should have to sign a waiver every time I send my child to a birthday party.

You are ridiculous