Birthday parties that we would rather skip

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hope I won't get flamed for this - I guess it'll come off judgy but I don't mean it that way.

My child is six, in first grade. We're pretty permissive but we generally don't allow video games; also, after a bad injury last year, we're kind of anxious about high-impact activities. If birthday parties at places like Dave & Busters or SkyZone were once in a blue moon, it would be fine, but it seems like every weekend our son is invited to another party at a place where we would ordinarily never let him play. Of course, he loves these events, and we want him to have fun. But it's a long drive to Gaithersburg or northern Rockville from where we live downtown, so every party eats up a whole afternoon, plus I have to spend money on a gift for some kid who isn't even close friend to my son. Is it cruel and/or rude to decline some of these invites?

Just decline. It is okay to sa no. Do you have social anxiety?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What at Dave & Buster’s is high impact?

The Dave & Busters thing is bcs OP doesn't allow video games, not because of injury.

OP, you can’t let your kid play arcade games for like half an hour at a birthday party? Jesus. Are you also all wound up about them eating cake and pizza?

Just wait until her kid is invited to a video game truck party.

[Anonymous]

Get over yourself and do this for your kid!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hope I won't get flamed for this - I guess it'll come off judgy but I don't mean it that way.

My child is six, in first grade. We're pretty permissive but we generally don't allow video games; also, after a bad injury last year, we're kind of anxious about high-impact activities. If birthday parties at places like Dave & Busters or SkyZone were once in a blue moon, it would be fine, but it seems like every weekend our son is invited to another party at a place where we would ordinarily never let him play. Of course, he loves these events, and we want him to have fun. But it's a long drive to Gaithersburg or northern Rockville from where we live downtown, so every party eats up a whole afternoon, plus I have to spend money on a gift for some kid who isn't even close friend to my son. Is it cruel and/or rude to decline some of these invites?

Don't overdo it. Sounds like you have many friends as does your child. The combination could create an overwhelming amount of events. This may be especially tough on you if you're an introvert.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hope I won't get flamed for this - I guess it'll come off judgy but I don't mean it that way.

My child is six, in first grade. We're pretty permissive but we generally don't allow video games; also, after a bad injury last year, we're kind of anxious about high-impact activities. If birthday parties at places like Dave & Busters or SkyZone were once in a blue moon, it would be fine, but it seems like every weekend our son is invited to another party at a place where we would ordinarily never let him play. Of course, he loves these events, and we want him to have fun. But it's a long drive to Gaithersburg or northern Rockville from where we live downtown, so every party eats up a whole afternoon, plus I have to spend money on a gift for some kid who isn't even close friend to my son. Is it cruel and/or rude to decline some of these invites?

Just decline. It is okay to sa no. Do you have social anxiety?

Making her son miss birthday parties because of mom's social anxiety would be sad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Get over yourself and do this for your kid!

Even if she has social anxiety?????

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hope I won't get flamed for this - I guess it'll come off judgy but I don't mean it that way.

My child is six, in first grade. We're pretty permissive but we generally don't allow video games; also, after a bad injury last year, we're kind of anxious about high-impact activities. If birthday parties at places like Dave & Busters or SkyZone were once in a blue moon, it would be fine, but it seems like every weekend our son is invited to another party at a place where we would ordinarily never let him play. Of course, he loves these events, and we want him to have fun. But it's a long drive to Gaithersburg or northern Rockville from where we live downtown, so every party eats up a whole afternoon, plus I have to spend money on a gift for some kid who isn't even close friend to my son. Is it cruel and/or rude to decline some of these invites?

Just decline. It is okay to sa no. Do you have social anxiety?

Making her son miss birthday parties because of mom's social anxiety would be sad.

Sounds like you don't have social anxiety or the ability to empathize.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hope I won't get flamed for this - I guess it'll come off judgy but I don't mean it that way.

My child is six, in first grade. We're pretty permissive but we generally don't allow video games; also, after a bad injury last year, we're kind of anxious about high-impact activities. If birthday parties at places like Dave & Busters or SkyZone were once in a blue moon, it would be fine, but it seems like every weekend our son is invited to another party at a place where we would ordinarily never let him play. Of course, he loves these events, and we want him to have fun. But it's a long drive to Gaithersburg or northern Rockville from where we live downtown, so every party eats up a whole afternoon, plus I have to spend money on a gift for some kid who isn't even close friend to my son. Is it cruel and/or rude to decline some of these invites?

Just decline. It is okay to sa no. Do you have social anxiety?

Making her son miss birthday parties because of mom's social anxiety would be sad.

Sounds like you don't have social anxiety or the ability to empathize.

NP. I don’t think OP said she has social anxiety…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What at Dave & Buster’s is high impact?

The Dave & Busters thing is bcs OP doesn't allow video games, not because of injury.

OP, you can’t let your kid play arcade games for like half an hour at a birthday party? Jesus. Are you also all wound up about them eating cake and pizza?

A half hour would be fine. But it's like two hours of nonstop overstimulation plus another half hour of extraction.

[Anonymous]

It can be tough to feel in control at other peoples' events. Sky zone, candy, cake, video games, etc. will be abundant. You will feel out of control.

It is alright to turn down invites.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hope I won't get flamed for this - I guess it'll come off judgy but I don't mean it that way.

My child is six, in first grade. We're pretty permissive but we generally don't allow video games; also, after a bad injury last year, we're kind of anxious about high-impact activities. If birthday parties at places like Dave & Busters or SkyZone were once in a blue moon, it would be fine, but it seems like every weekend our son is invited to another party at a place where we would ordinarily never let him play. Of course, he loves these events, and we want him to have fun. But it's a long drive to Gaithersburg or northern Rockville from where we live downtown, so every party eats up a whole afternoon, plus I have to spend money on a gift for some kid who isn't even close friend to my son. Is it cruel and/or rude to decline some of these invites?

Just decline. It is okay to sa no. Do you have social anxiety?

Making her son miss birthday parties because of mom's social anxiety would be sad.

Sounds like you don't have social anxiety or the ability to empathize.

NP. I don’t think OP said she has social anxiety…

Um....she is overwhelmed by her 6 year old's b-day party invites...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What at Dave & Buster’s is high impact?

The Dave & Busters thing is bcs OP doesn't allow video games, not because of injury.

OP, you can’t let your kid play arcade games for like half an hour at a birthday party? Jesus. Are you also all wound up about them eating cake and pizza?

A half hour would be fine. But it's like two hours of nonstop overstimulation plus another half hour of extraction.

The issue may be your relationship with your child. Set boundaries, earn respect, etc

[Anonymous]

If you don't have a conflict, you should try to go. Your kid likes them and it's nice way to build community with the other kids and parents. I get that it's a bit of a pain, but can you trade off with your spouse?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hope I won't get flamed for this - I guess it'll come off judgy but I don't mean it that way.

My child is six, in first grade. We're pretty permissive but we generally don't allow video games; also, after a bad injury last year, we're kind of anxious about high-impact activities. If birthday parties at places like Dave & Busters or SkyZone were once in a blue moon, it would be fine, but it seems like every weekend our son is invited to another party at a place where we would ordinarily never let him play. Of course, he loves these events, and we want him to have fun. But it's a long drive to Gaithersburg or northern Rockville from where we live downtown, so every party eats up a whole afternoon, plus I have to spend money on a gift for some kid who isn't even close friend to my son. Is it cruel and/or rude to decline some of these invites?

Don't overdo it. Sounds like you have many friends as does your child. The combination could create an overwhelming amount of events. This may be especially tough on you if you're an introvert.

OP here - thank you for acknowledging this. I am very introverted, but I do not have social anxiety and I am friendly and comfortable with a good number of the parents who inevitably attend these parties. Our kids also play sports and attend aftercare together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you don't have a conflict, you should try to go. Your kid likes them and it's nice way to build community with the other kids and parents. I get that it's a bit of a pain, but can you trade off with your spouse?

She could offset the lack of "big" events like bday parties through "playdates" at her home. This way she's socializing the child but doesn't need to feel the pressure to let her child play video games.