Birthday parties that we would rather skip

[Anonymous]

I hope I won't get flamed for this - I guess it'll come off judgy but I don't mean it that way.

My child is six, in first grade. We're pretty permissive but we generally don't allow video games; also, after a bad injury last year, we're kind of anxious about high-impact activities. If birthday parties at places like Dave & Busters or SkyZone were once in a blue moon, it would be fine, but it seems like every weekend our son is invited to another party at a place where we would ordinarily never let him play. Of course, he loves these events, and we want him to have fun. But it's a long drive to Gaithersburg or northern Rockville from where we live downtown, so every party eats up a whole afternoon, plus I have to spend money on a gift for some kid who isn't even close friend to my son. Is it cruel and/or rude to decline some of these invites?

[Anonymous]

OP - very soon birthday parties will stop being whole class ordeals, and this "problem" will largely resolve itself.

Of course you don't have to go to all of them. I frequently decline invites from kids that mine doesn't know well, or where it's a 45 minute drive to get there.

However, if it's someone he's close friends with, then I suck it up and make it happen.

[Anonymous]

Cruel? Of course not. Rude? Maybe, depending on the closeness of the relationship.

Just make up an excuse and don’t go. But, don’t be surprised if people stop asking your kid to join in on fun stuff if you’re going to decline and/or show up with a negative attitude.

[Anonymous]

Why does your kid know so many kids in moco if you live in DC? If you’re sending him to school there, that’s kind of on you.

And personally I think it’s rude. Imagine if people were declining your kid’s party just because they didn’t feel like making the effort to drive there.

[Anonymous]

I don't know if it's rude, but it's not very kind to your son. He enjoys the activities and it's a chance to spend time with friends. If it's drop off, you can get coffee with another parent and grow your community. Unless his doctor said that he's at increased risk of harm because of the prior injury, you are being overprotective.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why does your kid know so many kids in moco if you live in DC? If you’re sending him to school there, that’s kind of on you.

And personally I think it’s rude. Imagine if people were declining your kid’s party just because they didn’t feel like making the effort to drive there.

OP here - these are kids who live in our neighborhood but are hosting parties in MoCo. I guess D.C. doesn't have those types of venues, at least not in our part of town.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't know if it's rude, but it's not very kind to your son. He enjoys the activities and it's a chance to spend time with friends. If it's drop off, you can get coffee with another parent and grow your community. Unless his doctor said that he's at increased risk of harm because of the prior injury, you are being overprotective.

Maybe I am overprotective... I just don't think I should have to sign a waiver every time I send my child to a birthday party.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't know if it's rude, but it's not very kind to your son. He enjoys the activities and it's a chance to spend time with friends. If it's drop off, you can get coffee with another parent and grow your community. Unless his doctor said that he's at increased risk of harm because of the prior injury, you are being overprotective.

Maybe I am overprotective... I just don't think I should have to sign a waiver every time I send my child to a birthday party.

Even the most harmless activities usually require you to sign a waiver, including all field trips. That can't be your standard of whether an activity is safe.

[Anonymous]

What at Dave & Buster’s is high impact?

[Anonymous]

I would pick close friends and attend those or leave early/ arrive late and just tell the parents on the RSVP. Also, can you carpool with another family?

We had some 30-45 minute away birthday parties so a friend who lived closed and I either one dropped off and the other picked up or I would do one party and she did another. It was very helpful especially if you have multiple kids. I would ask some parents you may know or live close to you and see if you an carpool for these parties. Makes it a lot easier. But make sure you do your part. One family always took me up on my taking the kids to the parties but didn’t reciprocate. Not once. I even asked “hey might you do the driving and party this weekend as I have a conflict.” They said no. So I don’t drive their kid anymore and say we have another activity after or carpool with another family.

Parties will start to not be so often as kids don’t invite the entire class as they get older. Your kid might also hear about it at school so how will that make them feel?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't know if it's rude, but it's not very kind to your son. He enjoys the activities and it's a chance to spend time with friends. If it's drop off, you can get coffee with another parent and grow your community. Unless his doctor said that he's at increased risk of harm because of the prior injury, you are being overprotective.

Maybe I am overprotective... I just don't think I should have to sign a waiver every time I send my child to a birthday party.

Everything is a liability nowadays because so many people sue for small things. It also might be a requirement for their insurance.

I don’t invite kids over my house who have parents who are like this as I worry if their kid gets a scrape or gets hurt they will sue. I watch the kids but I am no helicopter parent!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why does your kid know so many kids in moco if you live in DC? If you’re sending him to school there, that’s kind of on you.

And personally I think it’s rude. Imagine if people were declining your kid’s party just because they didn’t feel like making the effort to drive there.

In what world is it rude to decline an invitation? It would be rude to ignore it. It would be rude to comment something like "Sorry Larla's party is too far for us" or whatever.

But an invite is not a summons.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What at Dave & Buster’s is high impact?

The Dave & Busters thing is bcs OP doesn't allow video games, not because of injury.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why does your kid know so many kids in moco if you live in DC? If you’re sending him to school there, that’s kind of on you.

And personally I think it’s rude. Imagine if people were declining your kid’s party just because they didn’t feel like making the effort to drive there.

OP here - these are kids who live in our neighborhood but are hosting parties in MoCo. I guess D.C. doesn't have those types of venues, at least not in our part of town.

OP we live in DC and our kids are in DCPS and my experience is the same as you... well over half the invites are at this type of venue out in Gaithersburg or Rockville.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What at Dave & Buster’s is high impact?

The Dave & Busters thing is bcs OP doesn't allow video games, not because of injury.

OP, you can’t let your kid play arcade games for like half an hour at a birthday party? Jesus. Are you also all wound up about them eating cake and pizza?