Would it be weird to ask future boss to grab coffee before start date?

[Anonymous]

I'd love it if a new employee asked me to grab coffee, particularly if we've never met face-to-face before. I like getting to know the people I work with a bit and I think it shows initiative.

As a boss, I am not going to ask an employee who is not yet on the payroll to meet up. I'd bet money that the same people telling OP to wait for the boss to reach out would be up in arms that a boss is tapping you for unpaid time if that scenario actually played out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People seem very uptight. I think you could reach out shortly before you start and ask if there is anything you should connect on before your start date. Say you are happy to talk on phone or could meet for a quick coffee in person. I think you will just seem excited about the job and ready to hit the ground running.

When I changed jobs, my new manager reached out to me about getting lunch before I started bc we live in the same town (though it's a mostly remote job). We talked about work + non-work stuff and it was nice.

^This. It gives her an easy out if she doesn't want to meet you in person. It seems courteous and flexible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's not a coffee date. It's networking.

How have people never grabbed coffee with industry people before?

Such a bizarre take that it's now asking your boss on a date to suggest this.

She has the job. Whatever you want to call it. Doesn’t change the fact that she should not ask her boss.

That's not a fact. That's an opinion and best and one that many of us who are experienced professionals disagree with.

Not who you responded to but I am an experienced professional and disagree with you. She should allowed her supervisor to initiate a meet up.

This isn't how you advance in the world.

Not asking one’s boss out for coffee prior to starting work date is not going to put one’s career at a standstill.

It's the attitude behind it that's the issue, thinking that there can only be a top down flow.

[Anonymous]

I think there's one SAHM on here posting non-stop about this. Because this person clearly has no actual job experience. Calling it a "date" or "inappropriate" is such a bizarre take.

In 2024 it's still widely acceptable to get coffee with bosses, co-workers, industry peers, etc.

[Anonymous]

The ONLY way this is a weird ask is if your future boss doesn't know the two of you live in the same city and you only know she lives near you internet stalked her.

Otherwise, as a boss, I think this is a really great gesture from my new hire and I'd be excited that she took the initiative to reach out before she even started.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:No, do not ask your boss for a coffee date. She should ask and you need to read the room. There has been no meeting in person asked by her and other employees don’t meet either.

You people are nuts. I really question whether you have any pre-2020 work experience.

Seriously. The "no" posters scream social anxiety, and will be wondering why they've never advanced enough to afford a SFH.

You’re dumb as a box of rocks.

Have you ever had a job?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think there's one SAHM on here posting non-stop about this. Because this person clearly has no actual job experience. Calling it a "date" or "inappropriate" is such a bizarre take.

In 2024 it's still widely acceptable to get coffee with bosses, co-workers, industry peers, etc.

You are very dramatic and way too invested in what someone called it. It’s not important and doesn’t change if she should or shouldn’t ask. Stay focused and not so fixated on irrelevant words.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think there's one SAHM on here posting non-stop about this. Because this person clearly has no actual job experience. Calling it a "date" or "inappropriate" is such a bizarre take.

In 2024 it's still widely acceptable to get coffee with bosses, co-workers, industry peers, etc.

You are very dramatic and way too invested in what someone called it. It’s not important and doesn’t change if she should or shouldn’t ask. Stay focused and not so fixated on irrelevant words.

So you admit that you dont even have a job? Why are you giving such bad advice to someone else?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think there's one SAHM on here posting non-stop about this. Because this person clearly has no actual job experience. Calling it a "date" or "inappropriate" is such a bizarre take.

In 2024 it's still widely acceptable to get coffee with bosses, co-workers, industry peers, etc.

You are very dramatic and way too invested in what someone called it. It’s not important and doesn’t change if she should or shouldn’t ask. Stay focused and not so fixated on irrelevant words.

So you admit that you dont even have a job? Why are you giving such bad advice to someone else?

Where is there in my answer about me not having a job? I do have a job. You are so worried about things that are not relevant. I think you don’t have a job.
Not everyone who disagrees with you doesn’t have a job. That’s not how it works.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think there's one SAHM on here posting non-stop about this. Because this person clearly has no actual job experience. Calling it a "date" or "inappropriate" is such a bizarre take.

In 2024 it's still widely acceptable to get coffee with bosses, co-workers, industry peers, etc.

You are very dramatic and way too invested in what someone called it. It’s not important and doesn’t change if she should or shouldn’t ask. Stay focused and not so fixated on irrelevant words.

So you admit that you dont even have a job? Why are you giving such bad advice to someone else?

NP. Lots of people had the same advice. They could say your advice is bad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think there's one SAHM on here posting non-stop about this. Because this person clearly has no actual job experience. Calling it a "date" or "inappropriate" is such a bizarre take.

In 2024 it's still widely acceptable to get coffee with bosses, co-workers, industry peers, etc.

You are very dramatic and way too invested in what someone called it. It’s not important and doesn’t change if she should or shouldn’t ask. Stay focused and not so fixated on irrelevant words.

So you admit that you dont even have a job? Why are you giving such bad advice to someone else?

NP. Lots of people had the same advice. They could say your advice is bad.

Just not so sure it's a NP when all these replies are coming at once. But who knows. There are always people that have no networking skills

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think there's one SAHM on here posting non-stop about this. Because this person clearly has no actual job experience. Calling it a "date" or "inappropriate" is such a bizarre take.

In 2024 it's still widely acceptable to get coffee with bosses, co-workers, industry peers, etc.

You are very dramatic and way too invested in what someone called it. It’s not important and doesn’t change if she should or shouldn’t ask. Stay focused and not so fixated on irrelevant words.

Are you the one that called it a "date" ? Is that why you're backtracking now?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's not a coffee date. It's networking.

How have people never grabbed coffee with industry people before?

Such a bizarre take that it's now asking your boss on a date to suggest this.

She has the job. Whatever you want to call it. Doesn’t change the fact that she should not ask her boss.

That's not a fact. That's an opinion and best and one that many of us who are experienced professionals disagree with.

Not who you responded to but I am an experienced professional and disagree with you. She should allowed her supervisor to initiate a meet up.

This isn't how you advance in the world.

Not asking one’s boss out for coffee prior to starting work date is not going to put one’s career at a standstill.

It's the attitude behind it that's the issue, thinking that there can only be a top down flow.

“Top down flow” is something to consider. If you think that is irrelevant, you are tremulously naive.

Oh yes. The way to make connections and develop meaningful work relationships is to sit quietly at your desk in your basement and hope that your superior graciously requests your presence.

Keep calling me naive. I some how doubt you've advanced very far.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think there's one SAHM on here posting non-stop about this. Because this person clearly has no actual job experience. Calling it a "date" or "inappropriate" is such a bizarre take.

In 2024 it's still widely acceptable to get coffee with bosses, co-workers, industry peers, etc.

You are very dramatic and way too invested in what someone called it. It’s not important and doesn’t change if she should or shouldn’t ask. Stay focused and not so fixated on irrelevant words.

Words aren't irrelevant. By calling something a 'date', you're intentionally trying to make it sound non-work related and to imply that it's unseemly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think there's one SAHM on here posting non-stop about this. Because this person clearly has no actual job experience. Calling it a "date" or "inappropriate" is such a bizarre take.

In 2024 it's still widely acceptable to get coffee with bosses, co-workers, industry peers, etc.

You are very dramatic and way too invested in what someone called it. It’s not important and doesn’t change if she should or shouldn’t ask. Stay focused and not so fixated on irrelevant words.

Are you the one that called it a "date" ? Is that why you're backtracking now?

You inadvertently made the case for the pp who you were responding to.