Men 45+ on OLD: are they all broke?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can't you ladies ever enjoy -some- downscaled experiences? Less elaborate, expensive travel. Less costly entertainment. No one is flexible?

It wears thin. I’m able to expand my world as my kids go off to college- not willing to restrict my options because of limited finances in a partner.

+1. And I don't want to hear about why I don't take him. Right now I'm planning my 2024 and some 2025 trips. I've got 10 days in Europe with my daughter to go to the Olympics and see Taylor Swift. I'm going on dive vacation with a friend in Nov. The kids and I are going on a cruise in Dec. For 2025, the kids want to go to Greece so I'm planning 4-5 days in Athens and 4-5 days at the beach. I've got a 26-27, trip in the works for 14 days in Bali with the kids on a live aboard and the kids want to go on Safari at some point.

The bigger trips are expensive. I'm responsible for paying for me and my 2 kids. I don't want the additional responsibility of paying for someone else or their kids. My kids are in HS now. Once they are in college either I'll continue to travel with them or I'll go on similar trips with girlfriends that can afford it.

[Anonymous]

I guess I am one of the "broke" lucky one. I make 70k/yr as a music teacher, and am married to a woman who makes 2M+ per year with a trust fund, but I am a tall and good-looking dude if that matters.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I guess I am one of the "broke" lucky one. I make 70k/yr as a music teacher, and am married to a woman who makes 2M+ per year with a trust fund, but I am a tall and good-looking dude if that matters.

It matters a lot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can't you ladies ever enjoy -some- downscaled experiences? Less elaborate, expensive travel. Less costly entertainment. No one is flexible?

It wears thin. I’m able to expand my world as my kids go off to college- not willing to restrict my options because of limited finances in a partner.

DP. You can expand your world on more limited budgets. No need to stay in fancy hotels, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm cheap af, and also poor by DC standards (only $1 million in the bank and $200k income).

But the bigger problem is that I have no intention of dissipating my wealth on an over-the-hill woman.

What wealth?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wealthy men don’t need OLD to find a date. They are like a flame to moths.

Probably this.

That’s fine, where are they then? Kids are in private; there’s a gala once a year. Everything is run by moms. That is not much of a well.

[Anonymous]

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I finally met a lovely man. I think he runs deficit of about $700 every month. He works his tail off and didn't buy anything outrages. It's temporary and I will gladly help him fix it. I would even help him if we weren't together.

Really? You would financially help a single adult man? Mega turn off.

Yeah, nope. I’ve established my life independently and am not tying myself to just another dead weight.

So what kind of income/wealth do you expect a man to have?

Enough disposable income to match mine. Enough free time to match mine.

Sure, but what constitutes matching yours?

I'm a woman make about 300K a year. My average weekend outing is about $150; I take one large vacation a year at about $20K, couple small trips in the range of $5k. So it's about $15,000 on travel and $3600 on dates that a BF would need to match my expenses on entertainment and travel only. If we move in together, we would be saving on mortgage/rent so not a bad deal for him overall

I’m similar to you financially as are most of my friends. We’ve all come to realize that we are the ones that can afford our lifestyle. It means we don’t date and while we miss it, we don’t miss the drama that goes along with being in a relationship. We go out together on the weekends and always have a good time. And we travel together. I haven’t met a man in a similar financial situation yet.

Sincere question: are you Black? All of the details in the previous 2 posts ring true for my Black professional female acquaintances. I''m not so sure they actually clear >$300K (unless they have some small biz side gig?) but they live life on IG as if they do.

And they don't date, for the most part. In Maryland, fwiw

I'm white. In MD as well. My old college friends are also in similar situations in CA, Fla, and NY.

I’m also white and same situation here although now that I think about it none of my other high earning happily single gfs are white.. they’re a mix of black/asian/latina. We all travel together both adults only and with our kids, and we’re loving life!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, as a man, I am tired of this trope. No, not all men are Bruce Wayne, and truthfully it doesn't make you any less of a man. There are great fathers, husbands, and just plain men who aren't living the world's-most-interesting-man life. Are there duds out there? Yes, just like many women (boobs and all) aren't always the best catch.

So, OP, sorry that not all your frogs turn into King Midas, but no need to denigrate all men because they don't meet whatever standard you've penciled into your head.

Best of luck...

Word

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:From personal experience, these men don't need OLD.

That’s okay with me, just tell me where they are. I had a young singles life, then I had a couples life; I don’t know how to meet financially stable single men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can't you ladies ever enjoy -some- downscaled experiences? Less elaborate, expensive travel. Less costly entertainment. No one is flexible?

Many ladies can. The issue is the men want the hottest youngest most high maintenance ones with no kids.

[Anonymous]

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I finally met a lovely man. I think he runs deficit of about $700 every month. He works his tail off and didn't buy anything outrages. It's temporary and I will gladly help him fix it. I would even help him if we weren't together.

Really? You would financially help a single adult man? Mega turn off.

Yeah, nope. I’ve established my life independently and am not tying myself to just another dead weight.

So what kind of income/wealth do you expect a man to have?

Enough disposable income to match mine. Enough free time to match mine.

Sure, but what constitutes matching yours?

I'm a woman make about 300K a year. My average weekend outing is about $150; I take one large vacation a year at about $20K, couple small trips in the range of $5k. So it's about $15,000 on travel and $3600 on dates that a BF would need to match my expenses on entertainment and travel only. If we move in together, we would be saving on mortgage/rent so not a bad deal for him overall

I’m similar to you financially as are most of my friends. We’ve all come to realize that we are the ones that can afford our lifestyle. It means we don’t date and while we miss it, we don’t miss the drama that goes along with being in a relationship. We go out together on the weekends and always have a good time. And we travel together. I haven’t met a man in a similar financial situation yet.

Yea, because if he makes less he will resent the woman for making more, will be emasculated causing all the relationship drama. I tried to subsidize men financially, it didn't work out well either (these were professional men making about 200K but with CS obligtions which I don't have). So I guess single wealthy women should prepare for solitude entering elderly years

You want the older widowers. The ones I know were happily married, have adult children, and now have substantial assets but no one to share their lives with. We’re talking 60s and 70s.

I’ll focus on them in my 50s and 60s if I still feel like dating at that point. For now I have a younger FWB as I’m mid 40s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, they are not all broke. I personally know a very, very wealthy, very successful man who did on line dating after his divorce. (His ex cheated on him.) He ended up meeting and marrying a woman through friends, but for about a year, he was out there on-line. I was a little surprised to be honest, but it happened.

Yea, I dated a law partner who was making couple million/year, a VP of a large consulting company ($500k/year) and a Fed with good GS-15 salary plus military pension, so probably at 350K annual income. OP is just not attractive to these types

LOL. SES is like 170 and a platinum pension is maybe 75k so far from 300k sweetie. Keep trollin.

He had rental properties as well

[Anonymous]

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I finally met a lovely man. I think he runs deficit of about $700 every month. He works his tail off and didn't buy anything outrages. It's temporary and I will gladly help him fix it. I would even help him if we weren't together.

Really? You would financially help a single adult man? Mega turn off.

Yeah, nope. I’ve established my life independently and am not tying myself to just another dead weight.

So what kind of income/wealth do you expect a man to have?

Enough disposable income to match mine. Enough free time to match mine.

Sure, but what constitutes matching yours?

I'm a woman make about 300K a year. My average weekend outing is about $150; I take one large vacation a year at about $20K, couple small trips in the range of $5k. So it's about $15,000 on travel and $3600 on dates that a BF would need to match my expenses on entertainment and travel only. If we move in together, we would be saving on mortgage/rent so not a bad deal for him overall

I’m similar to you financially as are most of my friends. We’ve all come to realize that we are the ones that can afford our lifestyle. It means we don’t date and while we miss it, we don’t miss the drama that goes along with being in a relationship. We go out together on the weekends and always have a good time. And we travel together. I haven’t met a man in a similar financial situation yet.

Yea, because if he makes less he will resent the woman for making more, will be emasculated causing all the relationship drama. I tried to subsidize men financially, it didn't work out well either (these were professional men making about 200K but with CS obligtions which I don't have). So I guess single wealthy women should prepare for solitude entering elderly years

You want the older widowers. The ones I know were happily married, have adult children, and now have substantial assets but no one to share their lives with. We’re talking 60s and 70s.

I’ll focus on them in my 50s and 60s if I still feel like dating at that point. For now I have a younger FWB as I’m mid 40s.

No way am I spending my 50s and 60s taking care of an old man who won’t be there to take care of me and leaves his property to kids from his marriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can't you ladies ever enjoy -some- downscaled experiences? Less elaborate, expensive travel. Less costly entertainment. No one is flexible?

It wears thin. I’m able to expand my world as my kids go off to college- not willing to restrict my options because of limited finances in a partner.

DP. You can expand your world on more limited budgets. No need to stay in fancy hotels, etc.

I don’t. Airbnb type here. But it’s the rare middle earner who can take four weeks off a year to go away with me- even if I paid for the hotel- the time off, flights, wardrobe, tee times, meals, transportation etc add up.

I bought a direct domestic flight yesterday for March- it was $1100. That’s a lot for just one domestic flight to a man with a limited budget due to CS or fallout from divorce/being a lower earner.

I’d rather continue to travel solo or with other women who have an adventurous streak and can afford to pay their own way than pay for someone else to be my companion. Surely that isn’t that odd a notion?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

I finally met a lovely man. I think he runs deficit of about $700 every month. He works his tail off and didn't buy anything outrages. It's temporary and I will gladly help him fix it. I would even help him if we weren't together.

Really? You would financially help a single adult man? Mega turn off.

Yeah, nope. I’ve established my life independently and am not tying myself to just another dead weight.

So what kind of income/wealth do you expect a man to have?

Enough disposable income to match mine. Enough free time to match mine.

Sure, but what constitutes matching yours?

I'm a woman make about 300K a year. My average weekend outing is about $150; I take one large vacation a year at about $20K, couple small trips in the range of $5k. So it's about $15,000 on travel and $3600 on dates that a BF would need to match my expenses on entertainment and travel only. If we move in together, we would be saving on mortgage/rent so not a bad deal for him overall

I’m similar to you financially as are most of my friends. We’ve all come to realize that we are the ones that can afford our lifestyle. It means we don’t date and while we miss it, we don’t miss the drama that goes along with being in a relationship. We go out together on the weekends and always have a good time. And we travel together. I haven’t met a man in a similar financial situation yet.

Yea, because if he makes less he will resent the woman for making more, will be emasculated causing all the relationship drama. I tried to subsidize men financially, it didn't work out well either (these were professional men making about 200K but with CS obligtions which I don't have). So I guess single wealthy women should prepare for solitude entering elderly years

You want the older widowers. The ones I know were happily married, have adult children, and now have substantial assets but no one to share their lives with. We’re talking 60s and 70s.

I’ll focus on them in my 50s and 60s if I still feel like dating at that point. For now I have a younger FWB as I’m mid 40s.

Seriously. I’m 47 (f) and my dad is 72. I appreciate the posters advise but get real. I date younger.