So relatable. I have done quite a bit of volunteering with our PTA but I'm taking a big step back because dealing with the lack of organization and the often wasted time is frustrating, and it is so often coupled with rudeness and clique-ish behavior. Like it would be one thing if they were kind of disorganized with weak leadership, but people were generally friendly and you knew everyone was trying their best. This has happened to me at least a half dozen times in my 3 years of PTA activity: I see a call for volunteers and raise my hand/put my name on a list/send an email to the coordinator/whatever. I hear nothing back. Then I see the same call for volunteers and I volunteer again, this time making sure I know who I'm supposed to talk to. Inevitably, this person is weirdly standoffish and rude, but I power through. Then I show up for volunteering and they act like they are surprised I'm there. Then I try to help where it seems I'm needed (because no one has told me what to do and also acted like I wasn't supposed to be there) and am told by various people I am doing something wrong or messed something up. Then I stay late helping clean up until it becomes obvious they PTA people wish I would leave so they can gossip and complain about me and all the other volunteers, so I leave. As much fun as this is, I have decided I'm done with it. My kid is entering middle grades next year and we have an only child -- we'll volunteer for classroom stuff and school trips as teachers request it, but no more PTA. If any of those PTA parents want to pull a guilt trip/martyr routine with me, I don't care. I tried, y'all made it as hard an unpleasant as possible, best of luck to you. |
LOL (They don't act that way with colleagues and staff. School brings out some primal feelings in adults. They are acting out their inner childhood hurts and desires, stuffed way way down until the pandora's box opens when they set foot inside a school again. There should be trigger warnings during registration.) |
My kids are split between a small private school and a public middle school. Neither has a PTA. It isn’t missed.
The private school has a wish list for each class. Parents buy up whatever the teachers ask for. There are a couple events, but the admin mostly do the work and will put out a sign up genius for specific parent tasks they need help with. No organized gift giving. It is wonderful. The middle school has a couple events like school dances. The school will put out and email if they want parent help with chaperoning. That is about it. Not a wealthy district, there are no supply lists and wish lists and asks for donations. The kids don’t really need anything anyhow. Some pencils and a Chromebook is about it |
PTA = Teachers and Administration too. The school, the school professionals, have some responsibility to lead and curtail some of the nonsense.
|
Wish they would. I would respect them for it. "We will be doing X. We will not be doing Y." |
agree, in higher income schools there is more competition for school services, like gifted. the pta moms are in the game, just see who comes to the gifted services meetings at the school. look at the schmoozing that happens there |
At our school there is involvement from teachers and administration, but the parents who are involved always want to do more than the teachers and administration want to do. Like it's very clear from the dynamics at meetings and on some committees that most teachers and administration would prefer that the PTA stick to fundraising and do less event-planning and other involvement, but also there's this passivity there like "ok if you guys want to do this, go for it, but we will only be able to support so much." As a result we have a lot of events where there is little to know involvement from teachers and administration, because I think they'd prefer there be fewer things for them to have to attend after school and on weekends, and it's really just families getting together. I think many people on our PTA believe school should be a source of social experiences, for both parents and kids. I'm sure this is true at some schools. But it doesn't HAVE to be true, and personally I'd be okay with less social stuff as long as the school was a welcoming place for my kids during the school day. Or if the social events were more low key. So many of them involve food and activities that are over the top and not really necessary -- elementary kids are generally happy to play on a playground with their friends. You don't also have to rent a bounce house and serve popcorn and candy and do face paining and show a movie. Maybe do one event like that a year? Not 6. Then you wouldn't need so many volunteers, you'd spend less money, and I think the kids would actually appreciate it more because they'd look forward to the "Spring PTA Festival" or whatever. But instead it's like once every 6 weeks or so, there is an event like that. It's too much and I really do not think it is necessary at all. |
Wut? |
Ours is cliqueish but the clique parents are the first to act as if they are welcoming. They take offense so easily without realizing they are the problem. Their pov is martyrdom but also gossip heavily and some seem to not know how to act around minorities (parents raise your kids to be comfortable around P.O.C). They'll pay lip service to being inclusive.
I genuinely think they are all doing this with the best intentions but don't realize the tact the job entails. You have to keep it clean, basic and pleasant so people can trust in the organization. Save the gossip and exclusion for off campus gatherings. |