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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The PTA at our school feels really cliquish. I tried volunteering for a while but felt very unwelcome. Now I do things for them occasionally out of obligation to the school and because I think it's important to demonstrate what community involvement is to my kid. But I don't jt enjoy it at all because I find the other PTA parents bizarrely unfriendly and I just kind of smile my way through it but when it's over I always tell my husband "remind me not to do this again."

I just don't get their behavior. They constantly ask for volunteers and want more people involved, but they clearly mostly just want people who they already know (because their kids are friends, are in the same activities, or they're neighbors or whatever) and they view me as an outsider. It often feels like they are like "We desperately need volunteers! No, not you." It's feels pretty bad.[/quote]

Very similar experience with PTA in the Vienna area.[/quote]
Similar experience too (is this the new “me too” movement) in a high income zone. I know it is unpaid, important, and yet can be thankless to be in the PTA. Maybe it’s because it’s unpaid that you sometimes get people who don’t know how to lead well.

I volunteered, but leadership didn’t show me how to do the job the way they wanted me to do it apparently, and they didn’t seem to know how to delegate or relinquish control, and so I ended up being a passive viewer. Then the job was tossed onto me, so I did it the best way I could. Then I got weird vibes from that group like they were talking bad about me, leadership took over again my role, and so I excused myself. I have better things to do with my time than to deal with drama.

That PTA is always sending emails asking for volunteers, but I will never volunteer again based on that experience, and avoid being around those people. It’s a shame, because had they known how to train new volunteers, been more communicative, and been more professionally run and not tribal and nasty, I would have gladly been a dependable regular volunteer. Honestly now, if most or all of the programs go away because of a lack of volunteers, I would say it is the unfortunate but inevitable outcome of that group.[/quote]

So relatable. I have done quite a bit of volunteering with our PTA but I'm taking a big step back because dealing with the lack of organization and the often wasted time is frustrating, and it is so often coupled with rudeness and clique-ish behavior. Like it would be one thing if they were kind of disorganized with weak leadership, but people were generally friendly and you knew everyone was trying their best.

This has happened to me at least a half dozen times in my 3 years of PTA activity: I see a call for volunteers and raise my hand/put my name on a list/send an email to the coordinator/whatever. I hear nothing back. Then I see the same call for volunteers and I volunteer again, this time making sure I know who I'm supposed to talk to. Inevitably, this person is weirdly standoffish and rude, but I power through. Then I show up for volunteering and they act like they are surprised I'm there. Then I try to help where it seems I'm needed (because no one has told me what to do and also acted like I wasn't supposed to be there) and am told by various people I am doing something wrong or messed something up. Then I stay late helping clean up until it becomes obvious they PTA people wish I would leave so they can gossip and complain about me and all the other volunteers, so I leave.

As much fun as this is, I have decided I'm done with it. My kid is entering middle grades next year and we have an only child -- we'll volunteer for classroom stuff and school trips as teachers request it, but no more PTA. If any of those PTA parents want to pull a guilt trip/martyr routine with me, I don't care. I tried, y'all made it as hard an unpleasant as possible, best of luck to you.[/quote]

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