PTA Moms

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stop generalizing everyone as the same.
The ones I’ve known have been great and I certainly appreciate the work they do.

OP here. I wasn't generalizing. In fact, I was surprised that someone like this actually exists because it hasn't been my experience to date. It was kind of shocking that this person exactly fit the stereotype.

what stereotype are you talking about? cliquey, rude?

[Anonymous]

Our school requests way too much money and a million events requiring volunteers. We’re asked for money for Christmas, end of year, and for grade level luncheons, and donations for parties. I’ve stopped donating because it’s just too much, and not all schools request this much money. Then there are several events both during school hours and evening/weekend. Too many.

I’ve also seen the pta mom cliques who are not inclusive of others and don’t welcome new ideas or different tracks.

[Anonymous]

The PTA does so much for our school. It's a few volunteers taking on the burden of time, money, and effort for everyone else. God bless them. If that leads to them acting like a click or someone insular, who cares.

Walk in their shoes and then you'll get it. I started to get involved in the PTA before my health took a turn. I didn't get a chance to do much. But I did help out with picture day. And calling parents and trying to get issues resolved, I was treated so rudely, as if I was working for the photo company and I get a commission or something. It's ridiculous. So many thankless tasks.

My friend ran a program where they collect used instruments, get them refurbished by a music school in town, and the kids write an essay to have a chance to win the instrument. One of the winners families complained that the (totally functional clarinet) was not good enough and the PTA should buy them a brand new one, which they can't afford. The list goes on.

My friend is such a sweet person and worked so hard, there were so many steps to this process and for someone to be nasty to her at the end, which this parent was... It's just awful.

[Anonymous]

I don’t mind the moms personally- they are all nice people. But the concept and mission of PTA is dumb and a waste of time, energy, and money

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The PTA at our school feels really cliquish. I tried volunteering for a while but felt very unwelcome. Now I do things for them occasionally out of obligation to the school and because I think it's important to demonstrate what community involvement is to my kid. But I don't jt enjoy it at all because I find the other PTA parents bizarrely unfriendly and I just kind of smile my way through it but when it's over I always tell my husband "remind me not to do this again."

I just don't get their behavior. They constantly ask for volunteers and want more people involved, but they clearly mostly just want people who they already know (because their kids are friends, are in the same activities, or they're neighbors or whatever) and they view me as an outsider. It often feels like they are like "We desperately need volunteers! No, not you." It's feels pretty bad.

My DC’s first school PTA was like this. When we switched to a different school it was the polar opposite. Everyone was friendly and nobody has been exclusionary. I guess it varies school to school

[Anonymous]

I like the PTA and room parents at our school 🤷‍♀️ Glad I don’t have to deal with all that stuff. There does seem to be some drama between the members themselves, and again I’m glad I don’t have to deal with that.

To the PP complaining that there are events on a weekday afternoon…no shit, that’s when kids are in school.

[Anonymous]

I found this a little at our private but the worst had been summer swim team. Those moms are martyrs but so unfriendly to anyone that offers to help out.

[Anonymous]

Ugh. I immensely dislike PTA moms. For most it is a desire to social climb/ social engineer friendships that makes them get involved. Give them a bit of power and , oh boy!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The PTA does so much for our school. It's a few volunteers taking on the burden of time, money, and effort for everyone else. God bless them. If that leads to them acting like a click or someone insular, who cares.

Walk in their shoes and then you'll get it. I started to get involved in the PTA before my health took a turn. I didn't get a chance to do much. But I did help out with picture day. And calling parents and trying to get issues resolved, I was treated so rudely, as if I was working for the photo company and I get a commission or something. It's ridiculous. So many thankless tasks.

My friend ran a program where they collect used instruments, get them refurbished by a music school in town, and the kids write an essay to have a chance to win the instrument. One of the winners families complained that the (totally functional clarinet) was not good enough and the PTA should buy them a brand new one, which they can't afford. The list goes on.

My friend is such a sweet person and worked so hard, there were so many steps to this process and for someone to be nasty to her at the end, which this parent was... It's just awful.

+million

I'd rather have cliques that run the PTA than no PTA.

[Anonymous]

The PTA at our school is great. Maybe they send too many emails sometimes but I just don’t read them all and so far nothing bad has happened. I’ve been asked to join certain things and have done so. I have less availability than some as I work full-time but I think a lot of the parents on the PTA do as well.

Having said that, I think you’ll find someone who fits a stereotype everywhere you go if you’re looking for it. They do exist for a reason, after all.

[Anonymous]

I grew up in a different country, and I often think these whole PTA and event things in the States are just too much. Why do schools, even public ones, need so many events that require parents' time and, more importantly, donations? Other advanced countries can educate their children without all these events - auctions, book fair, family game night, etc... Perhaps PTA parents are not the real problem. Probably the problem lies in the flawed education system that allow certain parents fulfill their desire for self-importance within the school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You mean the volunteers who organize and staff all the fun things at your kids school?

There are great PTA parents and there are the exclusive, snooty ones who treat this like their job and other volunteers like their employees. I will never volunteer for my child's PTA again after the way some woman tried to micromanage me like I was her employee! Sorry lady, I already have one of those in my actual job. I'm doing this to help the children at my kids school for free. You don't get to treat me like crap. Nope, make your own damn sign up genius this year.

This. You can't generalize about PTA parents anymore than you can generalize about "coworkers" or "neighbors." A few are amazing, most are okay, some are horrible. Unfortunately, because of the way you interact with them (thrown together due to your kid attending that school), if you happen upon a horrible one, it can really negatively impact your life. Just like a totally miserable coworker or a really obnoxious neighbor.

Anyway, I've had a bad experience with our PTA, though mostly due to two specific members who are extremely clique-y and rude. Everyone else is fine or even great, but I minimize how much stuff I do with the PTA in order to avoid these two women. They both have kids in my kid's grade, too. It sucks! I wish they could be more chill and slightly less unpleasant, but this is the path they've chosen.

I came to say this. Organizing a well run PTA is a tough ask. By well-run, I mean sufficiently able organize and put on events and fundraise, not to mention advocate for families and the community. You have the population available, plus their other life demands and season (are they a new K parent and you can get them for six years or 4th grade and its their last kid). In a workplace you have the luxury of building a team with possibly unlimited time to do it.

I never imagined I'd ever even participate in the PTA because my understanding and impression from growing up that it was a bunch of cliquey parents that didn't want other folks involved. I somehow have ended up as our president. I wasn't seeking the role, but was asked, because some of the more involved parents/families were matriculating out. I have seen some hints of the issues people talk about, but I am fairly convinced (less than half way through the year) that these are generally unchecked attitudes and actions of some toxic people. That sets the tone for acceptable behaviors, especially to others involved in PTA, which then isolates those people. I've decided that I will be committed to not letting these behaviors perpetuate and cause harm. We take the issues head-on and so far (???) it seems to be working.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I grew up in a different country, and I often think these whole PTA and event things in the States are just too much. Why do schools, even public ones, need so many events that require parents' time and, more importantly, donations? Other advanced countries can educate their children without all these events - auctions, book fair, family game night, etc... Perhaps PTA parents are not the real problem. Probably the problem lies in the flawed education system that allow certain parents fulfill their desire for self-importance within the school.

100% agree. Especially when large numbers of students are not even grade level proficient.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The PTA does so much for our school. It's a few volunteers taking on the burden of time, money, and effort for everyone else. God bless them. If that leads to them acting like a click or someone insular, who cares.

Walk in their shoes and then you'll get it. I started to get involved in the PTA before my health took a turn. I didn't get a chance to do much. But I did help out with picture day. And calling parents and trying to get issues resolved, I was treated so rudely, as if I was working for the photo company and I get a commission or something. It's ridiculous. So many thankless tasks.

My friend ran a program where they collect used instruments, get them refurbished by a music school in town, and the kids write an essay to have a chance to win the instrument. One of the winners families complained that the (totally functional clarinet) was not good enough and the PTA should buy them a brand new one, which they can't afford. The list goes on.

My friend is such a sweet person and worked so hard, there were so many steps to this process and for someone to be nasty to her at the end, which this parent was... It's just awful.

What in the world? PTA should have anything to do with organizing instrument rentals and picture day. Stay in your lane. This is a case of too many hands that want to be in the pot

[Anonymous]

Our PTA is great. They work extremely hard to raise funds for our school and I can’t think of an instance where I ever felt remotely annoyed by them. They’re not cliquey at all though, so maybe that helps. So sad to hear it’s not like this at all schools. Maybe if you don’t like how your PTA is being run, you could volunteer to be on the board? You know, be the change an all. Or, you can sit behind your keyboard and continue to complain about an organization that is probably funding half the supplies in your child’s classroom.