50/50 split of assets with SAHM

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Absolutely.

Half the assets, but no alimony.

I’d rather pay alimony - 5k a month or something - than give her 5 million dollars!!!!

She did nothing to earn this money.

BS she took care of the kids and home so he could rise in his career. Without her he would have had to take the kids to school, activities, do all the shopping, cooking, organize house work, gardening, gifts, holidays, etc, etc. Could he have had such a career doing all that - no.

We don’t know this. You are assuming here.

[Anonymous]

Marriage is 50-50. Yes, she should get half. If she cheated, he didn’t, no alimony. If he cheated, yes and much more. They both agreed she would not work. I do not get these petty marriages where the money is not shared.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Absolutely.

Half the assets, but no alimony.

I’d rather pay alimony - 5k a month or something - than give her 5 million dollars!!!!

She did nothing to earn this money.

BS she took care of the kids and home so he could rise in his career. Without her he would have had to take the kids to school, activities, do all the shopping, cooking, organize house work, gardening, gifts, holidays, etc, etc. Could he have had such a career doing all that - no.

We don’t know this. You are assuming here.

He agreed she would not work. That’s all that mattered. You really think he raised the kids while making all that money with no help. Be real.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not sure what state but typically she would get 50% of assets and probably alimony for 8 or 9 years (half the length of your marriage). Plus child support, if there are children.

I am sure you have a different idea of what is “fair” but what I describe is the most likely outcome, unless you are in Virginia, she had an affair and you can prove that in court. Know you are at risk to have to pay her legal costs too if you go contentious.

If you get to 20 years of marriage you are at risk to have to pay lifetime alimony.

We’re in NY which is not a community property state. I hope to keep her distribution under 30%

I hope you get destroyed in court and your ex laughs the whole way to the bank.

Why? 30 percent makes sense to me. It is generous. I say this as a woman.

I also don’t understand why people assume that OP would not have made that much money without the contributions of his SAHM wife. Some people are capable of managing multiple things in life.

NP. I hope he gets cleaned out because he is a jerk. And there is nothing generous about getting 20% less than the contract provided for.

As for the second paragraph we assume that because it’s true, generally speaking. It is easier to get ahead in your career when your career is all you have to worry about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Absolutely.

Half the assets, but no alimony.

I’d rather pay alimony - 5k a month or something - than give her 5 million dollars!!!!

She did nothing to earn this money.

BS she took care of the kids and home so he could rise in his career. Without her he would have had to take the kids to school, activities, do all the shopping, cooking, organize house work, gardening, gifts, holidays, etc, etc. Could he have had such a career doing all that - no.

We don’t know this. You are assuming here.

He agreed she would not work. That’s all that mattered. You really think he raised the kids while making all that money with no help. Be real.

x100000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Absolutely.

Half the assets, but no alimony.

I’d rather pay alimony - 5k a month or something - than give her 5 million dollars!!!!

She did nothing to earn this money.

BS she took care of the kids and home so he could rise in his career. Without her he would have had to take the kids to school, activities, do all the shopping, cooking, organize house work, gardening, gifts, holidays, etc, etc. Could he have had such a career doing all that - no.

We don’t know this. You are assuming here.

He agreed she would not work. That’s all that mattered. You really think he raised the kids while making all that money with no help. Be real.

I am being real. We don’t know whether the wife has had the mental burden of the family, which is relatively less replaceable compared to gardening, cooking, shopping etc. A single parent with money can hire help to get all these things done. Again, my point is you are assuming that OP would not have made the same money without SAHM wife. That assumption simply has no basis.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not sure what state but typically she would get 50% of assets and probably alimony for 8 or 9 years (half the length of your marriage). Plus child support, if there are children.

I am sure you have a different idea of what is “fair” but what I describe is the most likely outcome, unless you are in Virginia, she had an affair and you can prove that in court. Know you are at risk to have to pay her legal costs too if you go contentious.

If you get to 20 years of marriage you are at risk to have to pay lifetime alimony.

We’re in NY which is not a community property state. I hope to keep her distribution under 30%

I hope you get destroyed in court and your ex laughs the whole way to the bank.

Why? 30 percent makes sense to me. It is generous. I say this as a woman.

I also don’t understand why people assume that OP would not have made that much money without the contributions of his SAHM wife. Some people are capable of managing multiple things in life.

NP. I hope he gets cleaned out because he is a jerk. And there is nothing generous about getting 20% less than the contract provided for.

As for the second paragraph we assume that because it’s true, generally speaking. It is easier to get ahead in your career when your career is all you have to worry about.

What contract?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is exactly why men shouldnt let their wives be a SAHM

Too late!

His kids are watching.

So what? Maybe she was a good mom - likely a much better mom than you, OP. Is that what bothers you so much?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Read it and weep OP:

“It was stated by Justice O’Conner, in his opinion in Conner v Conner, that that equitable distribution encompasses a partnership, no matter what the proportionate share of capital advances and personal services, and that the wife's marital contributions as a homemaker are presumed equal in value to the husband's contribution as an income earner.”

Although “equitable” does not mean “equal,” the NY Courts start with the presumption that it means 50-50 then apply a set of statutory criteria. I haven’t seen a case where a homemaker with 3 kids in a long marriage gets less than 50% but I suppose it is possible. But the scenario would be something like the wife was an objectively terrible parent/spouse (like, refused to work, did no housework or childcare, abused kids, abandoned the household) and the husband is taking full custody of the minor kids. Or if there were no kids at all and wife had high earning potential but refused to work.

You lost me at his. I think the first of those 3 conners is a woman who recently passed away

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Absolutely.

Half the assets, but no alimony.

I’d rather pay alimony - 5k a month or something - than give her 5 million dollars!!!!

She did nothing to earn this money.

BS she took care of the kids and home so he could rise in his career. Without her he would have had to take the kids to school, activities, do all the shopping, cooking, organize house work, gardening, gifts, holidays, etc, etc. Could he have had such a career doing all that - no.

We don’t know this. You are assuming here.

He agreed she would not work. That’s all that mattered. You really think he raised the kids while making all that money with no help. Be real.

I am being real. We don’t know whether the wife has had the mental burden of the family, which is relatively less replaceable compared to gardening, cooking, shopping etc. A single parent with money can hire help to get all these things done. Again, my point is you are assuming that OP would not have made the same money without SAHM wife. That assumption simply has no basis.

I happen to know that paying nannies, housekeepers, tutors, etc. is anything but cheap, so that SAHM is likely worth much, much, much more than you, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This needs to be exhibit A for why SAHMs need a postnup before deciding to stay at home.

Except they do not need one, because the man agreed, implicitly. You are SOL, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lots of crazy lazy women posting.

Of course a SAHM did not contribute to the success of OP and should not get 1/2, that’s insane.

Then why did OP get married?

Because he was in love but at some point he wasn’t or maybe she wasn’t. Maybe she treated like a bank and realized she married for the wrong reasons. Maybe he’s a douche bag.

Idk but SAHMs are not prostitutes, they don’t get paid for services rendered.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You signed the contract, bro. You can't back out of it 20 years later!

This. People like OP should not got married. They simply don’t understand that it is a legal arrangement.

It seems like women who don’t read the contact. Equitable not equal, no future earnings… smarten up gals.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Law says 50% so she gets 50%. You don’t have to like it but that’s the way it is

No it doesn’t.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Absolutely.

Half the assets, but no alimony.

I’d rather pay alimony - 5k a month or something - than give her 5 million dollars!!!!

She did nothing to earn this money.

BS she took care of the kids and home so he could rise in his career. Without her he would have had to take the kids to school, activities, do all the shopping, cooking, organize house work, gardening, gifts, holidays, etc, etc. Could he have had such a career doing all that - no.

We don’t know this. You are assuming here.

He agreed she would not work. That’s all that mattered. You really think he raised the kids while making all that money with no help. Be real.

I am being real. We don’t know whether the wife has had the mental burden of the family, which is relatively less replaceable compared to gardening, cooking, shopping etc. A single parent with money can hire help to get all these things done. Again, my point is you are assuming that OP would not have made the same money without SAHM wife. That assumption simply has no basis.

It doesn't matter. When they married things became 50-50.