Why would a man get married in 2023?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lol even my DH knows that he'd be screwed without me (though not literally). Marriage is such a good deal for men.

Ridiculous

PP is right. Men get married because they want access to sex without having to put in any effort. They also want someone to help with household things and to care for their kids. Men who are widowed often remarry right away because they can’t handle being alone.

Or are serial monogamists who never intended to be alone and enjoy female companionship. Yall are so negative

[Anonymous]

Look at all the posts about DHs going totally off the rails- alcoholism, abuse, untreated mental illness, bad midlife crisis, or just doing absolutely zero with the kids/house for years on end etc. Women are far less likely to let things get that bad.

Source?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Any woman who would be a net positive financial won't be interested, and women, more generally, only care about themselves and their kids. Cannot find a woman who would sacrifice anything meaningful for her husband. I see no reason why a man would get married these days.

Have kids,
Free childcare
Someone to clean the house
Extra paycheck income
Need a date at some events
Someone to take care of me
Runs the schedules and holidays
All those bills and emails to respond to
Buy me new clothes and shoes
Provide delicious meals and foods at home

Sign me up! I want a wife!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a happily married man I will not encourage any man to be married. Just because I am happily married does not mean I am
Getting a * good deal* like women claim. They always bring up the same set of things that they do us. Here is the deal it’s just not true. Yes our mothers offered all those perks to our dads. Our wives are not. And I am glad they are not because we should be contributing equally to everything. But women today (and in a way I feel bad) are under immense pressure from society (or maybe feminists ) to seek their own happiness (which is good) and men as a result are under a microscope.

I did everything on that list every week except meals and those we ordered from a company. I also taught the kids and earned half the money. I don't understand what men want women to be these days. Women are doing most of the working in the US now and the childrearing. What exactly do men bring to the table comparatively if and I repeat if they aren't making more than the median income? The median income is about $150k around here I believe. What does a guy making say $100k bring to a marriage compared to a woman making the same?

This actually isn't true. Reputable studies show that in married couples, men do more work overall when taking into account work outside and inside the home. Look up the Pew studies on working. Women work more hours on average in the home, which is why it seems to women that they do more work--because they don't see the greater amount of work being done by men outside of the house. Of course, this is just averages, and I'm sure we'll get lots of anecdotal responses here from women who swear they do so much more than their husbands.

Actually, PP you misrepresent the PEW studies. Quoting directly from the PEW study page, "Taking paid and unpaid work time together, working-age American men and women differ very little in their total work time.....men spend about 10 hours more than women per week in paid work, although women spend about six hours more than men in household work and about three additional hours in child care, bringing the total work time to 45.6 hours per week for men and 45.2 hours for women.

However, men spend more time than women in leisure activities, which includes TV time, playing games, sports and a series of other activities.27 The gender gap in leisure is about five hours per week."

Look at the data breakdown here - https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2013/03/14/chapter-6-time-in-work-and-leisure-patterns-by-gender-and-family-structure/

The PEW study does not state the reason that you claim about how, "it seems to women that they do more work--because they don't see the greater amount of work being done by men outside of the house." In fact, PEW clearly states women get less leisure time - so perhaps that is why women think they work more - their husbands are out engaging in leisure time more often than the wives do.

Think about what the paid work gap means - women aren't working at paid work enough to get benefits like career advancement, social security and medicare credits, retirement matches, life insurance, independent access to health care, etc. Instead, women lose paid work salary and benefits and spend many more hours than men doing unpaid work. Not to mention, of course, that the person who earns more money in the relationship often has or takes more decision-making power.


No wonder women think marriage is a bad deal.

[Anonymous]

Why would ANYONE get married? The marriages I see around me are so-so even with a tremendous amount of “work,” and the divorces in my circle are full throttle catastrophic. The risk/reward calculation isn’t in favor of marriage!

I go to a very conservative church and I notice more and more young people are simply declining to get married. They are just not willing to hunt and get desperate and settle. They aren’t lonely or miserable, they are just loving their lives. This is in a highly conservative ethnic community”, which really says something to me. And you know what? Good for them. People are finally doing what is right for them, which to me hopefully signals less miserable marriages in the future.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a happily married man I will not encourage any man to be married. Just because I am happily married does not mean I am
Getting a * good deal* like women claim. They always bring up the same set of things that they do us. Here is the deal it’s just not true. Yes our mothers offered all those perks to our dads. Our wives are not. And I am glad they are not because we should be contributing equally to everything. But women today (and in a way I feel bad) are under immense pressure from society (or maybe feminists ) to seek their own happiness (which is good) and men as a result are under a microscope.

I did everything on that list every week except meals and those we ordered from a company. I also taught the kids and earned half the money. I don't understand what men want women to be these days. Women are doing most of the working in the US now and the childrearing. What exactly do men bring to the table comparatively if and I repeat if they aren't making more than the median income? The median income is about $150k around here I believe. What does a guy making say $100k bring to a marriage compared to a woman making the same?

This actually isn't true. Reputable studies show that in married couples, men do more work overall when taking into account work outside and inside the home. Look up the Pew studies on working. Women work more hours on average in the home, which is why it seems to women that they do more work--because they don't see the greater amount of work being done by men outside of the house. Of course, this is just averages, and I'm sure we'll get lots of anecdotal responses here from women who swear they do so much more than their husbands.

Actually, PP you misrepresent the PEW studies. Quoting directly from the PEW study page, "Taking paid and unpaid work time together, working-age American men and women differ very little in their total work time.....men spend about 10 hours more than women per week in paid work, although women spend about six hours more than men in household work and about three additional hours in child care, bringing the total work time to 45.6 hours per week for men and 45.2 hours for women.

However, men spend more time than women in leisure activities, which includes TV time, playing games, sports and a series of other activities.27 The gender gap in leisure is about five hours per week."

Look at the data breakdown here - https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2013/03/14/chapter-6-time-in-work-and-leisure-patterns-by-gender-and-family-structure/

The PEW study does not state the reason that you claim about how, "it seems to women that they do more work--because they don't see the greater amount of work being done by men outside of the house." In fact, PEW clearly states women get less leisure time - so perhaps that is why women think they work more - their husbands are out engaging in leisure time more often than the wives do.

Think about what the paid work gap means - women aren't working at paid work enough to get benefits like career advancement, social security and medicare credits, retirement matches, life insurance, independent access to health care, etc. Instead, women lose paid work salary and benefits and spend many more hours than men doing unpaid work. Not to mention, of course, that the person who earns more money in the relationship often has or takes more decision-making power.


No wonder women think marriage is a bad deal.

What you quote is exactly what I said. Men work more hours than women. The reason men have more leisure time is because the study counts only certain things as leisure time. Women work fewer hours. That’s the point.

The wage gap is a separate debate, but it’s odd to bring it up in the context of discussing a study showing that men work longer hours at paid work. And of course women in households with shared finances benefit disproportionately from men’s greater number of hours of paid work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a happily married man I will not encourage any man to be married. Just because I am happily married does not mean I am
Getting a * good deal* like women claim. They always bring up the same set of things that they do us. Here is the deal it’s just not true. Yes our mothers offered all those perks to our dads. Our wives are not. And I am glad they are not because we should be contributing equally to everything. But women today (and in a way I feel bad) are under immense pressure from society (or maybe feminists ) to seek their own happiness (which is good) and men as a result are under a microscope.

I did everything on that list every week except meals and those we ordered from a company. I also taught the kids and earned half the money. I don't understand what men want women to be these days. Women are doing most of the working in the US now and the childrearing. What exactly do men bring to the table comparatively if and I repeat if they aren't making more than the median income? The median income is about $150k around here I believe. What does a guy making say $100k bring to a marriage compared to a woman making the same?

This actually isn't true. Reputable studies show that in married couples, men do more work overall when taking into account work outside and inside the home. Look up the Pew studies on working. Women work more hours on average in the home, which is why it seems to women that they do more work--because they don't see the greater amount of work being done by men outside of the house. Of course, this is just averages, and I'm sure we'll get lots of anecdotal responses here from women who swear they do so much more than their husbands.

Actually, PP you misrepresent the PEW studies. Quoting directly from the PEW study page, "Taking paid and unpaid work time together, working-age American men and women differ very little in their total work time.....men spend about 10 hours more than women per week in paid work, although women spend about six hours more than men in household work and about three additional hours in child care, bringing the total work time to 45.6 hours per week for men and 45.2 hours for women.

However, men spend more time than women in leisure activities, which includes TV time, playing games, sports and a series of other activities.27 The gender gap in leisure is about five hours per week."

Look at the data breakdown here - https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2013/03/14/chapter-6-time-in-work-and-leisure-patterns-by-gender-and-family-structure/

The PEW study does not state the reason that you claim about how, "it seems to women that they do more work--because they don't see the greater amount of work being done by men outside of the house." In fact, PEW clearly states women get less leisure time - so perhaps that is why women think they work more - their husbands are out engaging in leisure time more often than the wives do.

Think about what the paid work gap means - women aren't working at paid work enough to get benefits like career advancement, social security and medicare credits, retirement matches, life insurance, independent access to health care, etc. Instead, women lose paid work salary and benefits and spend many more hours than men doing unpaid work. Not to mention, of course, that the person who earns more money in the relationship often has or takes more decision-making power.


No wonder women think marriage is a bad deal.

Pew isn’t an acronym. lol. It is a last name

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a happily married man I will not encourage any man to be married. Just because I am happily married does not mean I am
Getting a * good deal* like women claim. They always bring up the same set of things that they do us. Here is the deal it’s just not true. Yes our mothers offered all those perks to our dads. Our wives are not. And I am glad they are not because we should be contributing equally to everything. But women today (and in a way I feel bad) are under immense pressure from society (or maybe feminists ) to seek their own happiness (which is good) and men as a result are under a microscope.

I did everything on that list every week except meals and those we ordered from a company. I also taught the kids and earned half the money. I don't understand what men want women to be these days. Women are doing most of the working in the US now and the childrearing. What exactly do men bring to the table comparatively if and I repeat if they aren't making more than the median income? The median income is about $150k around here I believe. What does a guy making say $100k bring to a marriage compared to a woman making the same?

This actually isn't true. Reputable studies show that in married couples, men do more work overall when taking into account work outside and inside the home. Look up the Pew studies on working. Women work more hours on average in the home, which is why it seems to women that they do more work--because they don't see the greater amount of work being done by men outside of the house. Of course, this is just averages, and I'm sure we'll get lots of anecdotal responses here from women who swear they do so much more than their husbands.

Link please.

As I recall, that's not at all what the study says.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you want children, you have to get married. Cultures where marriage is not a preogative before children end up, in the long term, either in squalor, disorder, and poverty, or like Western Europe—old, nihilistic, and defeated.

+1

The baby momma model is not working out in America

[Anonymous]

Maybe some people look at it as something other than business arrangement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a happily married man I will not encourage any man to be married. Just because I am happily married does not mean I am
Getting a * good deal* like women claim. They always bring up the same set of things that they do us. Here is the deal it’s just not true. Yes our mothers offered all those perks to our dads. Our wives are not. And I am glad they are not because we should be contributing equally to everything. But women today (and in a way I feel bad) are under immense pressure from society (or maybe feminists ) to seek their own happiness (which is good) and men as a result are under a microscope.

I did everything on that list every week except meals and those we ordered from a company. I also taught the kids and earned half the money. I don't understand what men want women to be these days. Women are doing most of the working in the US now and the childrearing. What exactly do men bring to the table comparatively if and I repeat if they aren't making more than the median income? The median income is about $150k around here I believe. What does a guy making say $100k bring to a marriage compared to a woman making the same?

This actually isn't true. Reputable studies show that in married couples, men do more work overall when taking into account work outside and inside the home. Look up the Pew studies on working. Women work more hours on average in the home, which is why it seems to women that they do more work--because they don't see the greater amount of work being done by men outside of the house. Of course, this is just averages, and I'm sure we'll get lots of anecdotal responses here from women who swear they do so much more than their husbands.

Link please.

As I recall, that's not at all what the study says.

You need a link yet somehow remember what the study says? 👌

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:[b]The better question is why would a woman get married?[/b] My two daughters don’t see the benefit.

Why would any woman or man get married? Answer - Not to live in sin

What century are you writing from? It’s 2023.

A sin is a sin, regardless of the year or the century

Dislodge the stick, MeeMaw. No one cares what YOUR religion dictates.

Just because you don’t care, doesn’t mean it doesn’t matter. Actions have consequences

[Anonymous]

Marriage is only good if its between two people who are in love, are compatible, deeply care about each other and want to build a life together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The better question is why would a woman get married? My two daughters don’t see the benefit.

Exactly!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Marriage is generally a worse deal for women these days- especially if middle class and especially if there are kids. Women are expected to both work FT yet still do the majority of childcare and management of the home/family. Families who make more $$$ can afford to hire more assistance which helps this a lot. But usually not nearly enough to make things “equal”.

Marriage is also riskier for women because men are simply….riskier. Look at all the posts about DHs going totally off the rails- alcoholism, abuse, untreated mental illness, bad midlife crisis, or just doing absolutely zero with the kids/house for years on end etc. Women are far less likely to let things get that bad. They can go through some real sh!t yet usually find a way to keep themselves fairly together for the kids’ sake- at the very least.

Why then are there so many posts on here about women wanting men to settle down and get married? Is it that unmarried women somehow haven't gotten the message? Is it that women are unable to think rationally? It seems to me that there is no shortage of MC/UMC women who are desperate to get married. It is rarely a man who is desperate to lock down a woman in marriage, which is what you'd expect if it was such a great deal for men.

+1

Woman here and I agree.