DD heard listening to explicit music

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m pretty strict but I don’t censor what my 11yo listens to.
We are white and DD is AA. She has started listening to rap music and music by primarily black artists. There is a lot of inappropriate language but I think she’s trying to identify with that side of herself.
She doesn’t repeat the language and I haven’t seen any inappropriate behavior.
Let it go OP.

Just for the record, that is an unhealthy way for her to "identify with that side of herself." Our children unfortunately equate poor behavior, images, and language, with being AA. Just like PPs have said, I talk (as best as I can) about the unhealthy languages and images. In their current music, but I also play a full swath of music for them to hear the culture - everything from jazz, reggae, R&B, classical, so that they are influenced by a full(er) experience. Nothing like Stevie W. and some Bob M. to try to balance out the dose of nihilism...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nobody mentioned any of the hardcore rap. Drill rap that talks about murder and rape and gang violence. That needs to be censored until they are older.

These are Cardi B lyerics-

Yeah, you f—ing with some wet a– p—y
Bring a bucket and a mop for this wet a– p—y
Give me everything you got for this wet a– p—y

Beat it up, n—a, catch a charge
Extra large and extra hard
Put this p—y right in your face
Swipe your nose like a credit card
Hop on top, I wanna ride
I do a kegel while it’s inside
Spit in my mouth, look in my eyes
This p—y is wet, come take a dive
Tie me up like I’m surprised
Let’s role play, I wear a disguise
I want you to park that big Mack truck
Right in this little garage
Make it cream, make me scream


I introduced early female and male rappers to my kids in elementary school. TLC, Lil Jon, Outcast, Salt n Peppa.

I’m just happy there is no Taylor Swift in my house.

My 14yr old Spotify Wrapped was Swift, J Cole, Drake, Zach Bryan, and Lil Uzi. She also loves alternative, some grunge, dance music, and old Disney music like Bridget Mendler, Hannah Montana etc... It's hilarious

She likes it all.

You mean she loves all the PG rated music and that’s a good thing.

I guess you don't know any of these artists. Even Swift has explicit lyrics.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Teens have annoyed their parents with music since the beginning of time. Let her listen to what she wants to. She is 14, for Pete's sake. You're treating her like she's still 4. It's long past time to un-clutch your pearls and update your parenting paradigm from 2013 to 2023.

All the parents hated Elvis and his gyrating hips Censored for TV

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 42 yo husband is a walking encyclopedia of rap from the 80's till now. He has never disrespected me or any other woman I know. Has never done drugs, hasn't even smoked anything, doesn't own a gun. Can't pin one typically stereotype related to rap music to him.

That’s nice dear.

I am certain teens from impoverished DC neighborhoods view violent, misogynistic rap music through precisely the same lens as your WASPy suburban, college graduate husband.

LOL Exactly. People really can't think outside of their own experience.

For most suburban kids, music CAN be entertainment that is separate from their reality. Assuming they have the maturity and cognitive ability to separate the two. But all it takes is one adverse childhood event and suddenly the lines get blurred, as the child seeks approval and validation from people who copy and paste street culture from the music and media they consume and propel that out into our suburban communities, and boom: You have an explosion of teenage drug users, dealers and carjackers, who follow the tune of the pied-piper of drill and local DMV rappers.

This stuff is all connected. You can't, or rather shouldn't, ignore it.

Context is everything. I sincerely doubt that OP's child fits into the category of 'teens from impoverished DC neighborhoods'. Highly doubtful there is anyone here that fits that description.

As far as I can tell, there is no correlation between music that is consumed, and drug use/violence, regardless of where one lives. As someone that did in fact grow up in a rough neighborhood (not in DC), and had friends that grew up under similar circumstances, it wasn't music choice that set apart those that made the right and wrong choices. We all pretty much listened to the same stuff.

I will counter your lived experience with mine:

A relative lived in an apartment community in Silver Spring and his parents had gone through a nasty split when he was in about 5th grade. This led to resent and anger issues as he blamed himself for the split and was put in the middle of spats between his mother and father. Then, as he struggled with the emotional turmoil of his parents split, he was desperate for friends and connection, so he sought the attention and friendship of kids in middle school who weren't really nice. They acted like his friends but then mocked him behind his back and betrayed. This led to more anger and trust issues. This crowd listened to trap music, smoked and sold weed and basically mimicked the lifestyle, values, language and morals of NBA Youngboy, who became my relative's idol. Things got really bad and he ended up getting into beefs with other boys in these circles to the point where he got a ghost gun to defend himself.

So yeah. You might say for you and your friends that the music didn't lead to violence or lifestyle changes, but that's not the lived experience of everyone else. This music IS contributing to juvenile crime spree we're seeing. You can deny it if you want, but it's true.

Listen grannie, there are many people who listen to this music and who do not live violent lifestyles. This type of music has been around for 30+ years. At least that is how long I've listened to it. And NOW it's contributing to "crime sprees in DC"? I've heard it all now.

I’m not sure why you need to use grannie like an insult. You’re not 12:years old.

. Drill rap, or “kill” rap, has been around for about 10- 20 years. NYC Mayor got involved with the subject after some gang killings in Brooklyn and said he was concerned about “violent people who are using drill rapping to post who they killed, and then antagonize the people who they are going to kill”.

Some of the drill rappers who were murdered in the past couple years in NYC were Pop Smoke, Nas Fisher, Tahiay Dobson, Jayquan McKinley, and Bleezy DOD. All in their teens and twenties.

Drill rap is being called ‘too authentic’, when it’s talking about real names, real lives, real people who are being affected by not just the music, but what’s happening outside and in the streets.” Not to mention innocent people caught in the crossfire.

No one should support this type of rap. Your child will probably be fine. Someone else’s child might not be.

https://www.theguardian.com/music/2022/feb/18/eric-adams-drill-rap-music-gun-violence

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nobody mentioned any of the hardcore rap. Drill rap that talks about murder and rape and gang violence. That needs to be censored until they are older.

These are Cardi B lyerics-

Yeah, you f—ing with some wet a– p—y
Bring a bucket and a mop for this wet a– p—y
Give me everything you got for this wet a– p—y

Beat it up, n—a, catch a charge
Extra large and extra hard
Put this p—y right in your face
Swipe your nose like a credit card
Hop on top, I wanna ride
I do a kegel while it’s inside
Spit in my mouth, look in my eyes
This p—y is wet, come take a dive
Tie me up like I’m surprised
Let’s role play, I wear a disguise
I want you to park that big Mack truck
Right in this little garage
Make it cream, make me scream


I introduced early female and male rappers to my kids in elementary school. TLC, Lil Jon, Outcast, Salt n Peppa.

I’m just happy there is no Taylor Swift in my house.

My 14yr old Spotify Wrapped was Swift, J Cole, Drake, Zach Bryan, and Lil Uzi. She also loves alternative, some grunge, dance music, and old Disney music like Bridget Mendler, Hannah Montana etc... It's hilarious

She likes it all.

You mean she loves all the PG rated music and that’s a good thing.

I guess you don't know any of these artists. Even Swift has explicit lyrics.

What explicit lyrics does Taylor Swift have?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 42 yo husband is a walking encyclopedia of rap from the 80's till now. He has never disrespected me or any other woman I know. Has never done drugs, hasn't even smoked anything, doesn't own a gun. Can't pin one typically stereotype related to rap music to him.

That’s nice dear.

I am certain teens from impoverished DC neighborhoods view violent, misogynistic rap music through precisely the same lens as your WASPy suburban, college graduate husband.

LOL Exactly. People really can't think outside of their own experience.

For most suburban kids, music CAN be entertainment that is separate from their reality. Assuming they have the maturity and cognitive ability to separate the two. But all it takes is one adverse childhood event and suddenly the lines get blurred, as the child seeks approval and validation from people who copy and paste street culture from the music and media they consume and propel that out into our suburban communities, and boom: You have an explosion of teenage drug users, dealers and carjackers, who follow the tune of the pied-piper of drill and local DMV rappers.

This stuff is all connected. You can't, or rather shouldn't, ignore it.

Context is everything. I sincerely doubt that OP's child fits into the category of 'teens from impoverished DC neighborhoods'. Highly doubtful there is anyone here that fits that description.

As far as I can tell, there is no correlation between music that is consumed, and drug use/violence, regardless of where one lives. As someone that did in fact grow up in a rough neighborhood (not in DC), and had friends that grew up under similar circumstances, it wasn't music choice that set apart those that made the right and wrong choices. We all pretty much listened to the same stuff.

I will counter your lived experience with mine:

A relative lived in an apartment community in Silver Spring and his parents had gone through a nasty split when he was in about 5th grade. This led to resent and anger issues as he blamed himself for the split and was put in the middle of spats between his mother and father. Then, as he struggled with the emotional turmoil of his parents split, he was desperate for friends and connection, so he sought the attention and friendship of kids in middle school who weren't really nice. They acted like his friends but then mocked him behind his back and betrayed. This led to more anger and trust issues. This crowd listened to trap music, smoked and sold weed and basically mimicked the lifestyle, values, language and morals of NBA Youngboy, who became my relative's idol. Things got really bad and he ended up getting into beefs with other boys in these circles to the point where he got a ghost gun to defend himself.

So yeah. You might say for you and your friends that the music didn't lead to violence or lifestyle changes, but that's not the lived experience of everyone else. This music IS contributing to juvenile crime spree we're seeing. You can deny it if you want, but it's true.

Listen grannie, there are many people who listen to this music and who do not live violent lifestyles. This type of music has been around for 30+ years. At least that is how long I've listened to it. And NOW it's contributing to "crime sprees in DC"? I've heard it all now.

“Grannie”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nobody mentioned any of the hardcore rap. Drill rap that talks about murder and rape and gang violence. That needs to be censored until they are older.

These are Cardi B lyerics-

Yeah, you f—ing with some wet a– p—y
Bring a bucket and a mop for this wet a– p—y
Give me everything you got for this wet a– p—y

Beat it up, n—a, catch a charge
Extra large and extra hard
Put this p—y right in your face
Swipe your nose like a credit card
Hop on top, I wanna ride
I do a kegel while it’s inside
Spit in my mouth, look in my eyes
This p—y is wet, come take a dive
Tie me up like I’m surprised
Let’s role play, I wear a disguise
I want you to park that big Mack truck
Right in this little garage
Make it cream, make me scream


I introduced early female and male rappers to my kids in elementary school. TLC, Lil Jon, Outcast, Salt n Peppa.

I’m just happy there is no Taylor Swift in my house.

My 14yr old Spotify Wrapped was Swift, J Cole, Drake, Zach Bryan, and Lil Uzi. She also loves alternative, some grunge, dance music, and old Disney music like Bridget Mendler, Hannah Montana etc... It's hilarious

She likes it all.

You mean she loves all the PG rated music and that’s a good thing.

I guess you don't know any of these artists. Even Swift has explicit lyrics.

What explicit lyrics does Taylor Swift have?

Evermore, Folklore, Lover, and Midnights all have songs with explicit lyrics.

[Anonymous]

We were banned from listening to anything the radio couldn’t play

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry, but music taste is not a hill I would die on. You can talk to your daughter about the imagery and why you don't like it, but you should not forbid anybody to listen to any sort of music that they like to listen to.

This is a better plan. Engage her in a discussion. Listen to her opinion. You won’t be able to protect her from this stuff, so better to develop critical thinking skills.

[Anonymous]

If you really want her to stop, you should start listening, playing the music in the house/car, and even start singing along.

[Anonymous]

I grew up with Emeinem. I still like it and I'm a feminist. My daughter is embarrassed by this fact. BTW if you met me I'm as waspy as they come so this is a not so hidden secret and I mix it in with Vivaldi and my classic music some days. It's just music/art. If your daughter has the right values music doesn't matter. If her values are off work on that; it's not the music.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We don’t censor; censorship is wrong. But we also do not allow any music with the “n” word or other hate-language.

So you censor. This is binary; you do or you don't. You do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m pretty strict but I don’t censor what my 11yo listens to.
We are white and DD is AA. She has started listening to rap music and music by primarily black artists. There is a lot of inappropriate language but I think she’s trying to identify with that side of herself.
She doesn’t repeat the language and I haven’t seen any inappropriate behavior.
Let it go OP.

Does the “inappropriate language” you mentioned include the “n” word?

If so, it is probably OK for your daughter to listen to it, but not OK for you and your husband to listen to it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m pretty strict but I don’t censor what my 11yo listens to.
We are white and DD is AA. She has started listening to rap music and music by primarily black artists. There is a lot of inappropriate language but I think she’s trying to identify with that side of herself.
She doesn’t repeat the language and I haven’t seen any inappropriate behavior.
Let it go OP.

Does the “inappropriate language” you mentioned include the “n” word?

If so, it is probably OK for your daughter to listen to it, but not OK for you and your husband to listen to it.

In fact, as white people, you do not get to have a valid opinion on what your AA daughter listens to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m pretty strict but I don’t censor what my 11yo listens to.
We are white and DD is AA. She has started listening to rap music and music by primarily black artists. There is a lot of inappropriate language but I think she’s trying to identify with that side of herself.
She doesn’t repeat the language and I haven’t seen any inappropriate behavior.
Let it go OP.

Does the “inappropriate language” you mentioned include the “n” word?

If so, it is probably OK for your daughter to listen to it, but not OK for you and your husband to listen to it.

In fact, as white people, you do not get to have a valid opinion on what your AA daughter listens to.

Agree. PP and her husband are not oppressed, whereas their daughter is.