Teacher Embarrasses 3rd Grader

[Anonymous]

OP Here - I wanted to provide an update. We had a conference yesterday with the 3rd grade teacher, the kindergarten teacher, and the principal to discuss what happened. The teacher said that when my daughter didn't complete the assignment given, she asked why and my daughter said that she didn't know how to do it. The teacher said that didn't understand why my daughter wouldn't know how to do this work. She quizzed her on a couple of subtraction facts and my daughter couldn't answer them. The teacher didn't understand why my daughter isn't grasping what the teacher believes are foundational math concepts. So, she took my daughter down to a kindergarten class to see if that teacher could explain those concepts to her. The kindergarten teacher said that she asked my daughter to step aside to a quiet area of the room because she did not want my daughter to hear the two teachers discussing her. Once the teachers finished discussing what my daughter was having trouble with, the kindergarten teacher suggested that couldn't help at that very moment. The kindergarten teacher said she was not comfortable addressing this "on the spot" and in front of my daughter or the rest of her class. My daughter's 3rd grade teacher did apologize for the situation, but said that felt that she had no other choice. We ended the meeting with a plan to meet in December to assess if my daughter needs to be moved to another class that fits her learning style and make sure that her IEP covers support for some additional foundational math topics. Interestingly though, after the meeting, the kindergarten teacher walked with me to the parking lot and explained that she didn't like what happened. She said that she was very uncomfortable with the level of frustration the 3rd grade teacher displayed when she came to the kindergarten classroom. Which is why she asked my daughter to go to another part of the room. The kindergarten teacher also offered to spend some time after school twice a week to help my daughter catch up. We are beyond thankful for this kindergarten teacher.

Sorry this is such a long post, but thank everyone for your pointers and suggestions. They came in handy and I think we'll be on a good path going forward.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sure, it could have happened. Some teachers have very little empathy. It’s unusual, but not rare enough for teachers to shame students. I work in a school as a specialist and have heard a lot, including a teacher loudly berate a second grader who has a IEP for fine motor difficulties for not tying their shoes. Kids remember the stuff that hurts. The OP should ask for more details from the school and stay calm, but if that happened to my kid, I would take the same approach as the elementary principal who posted above. I’d want them to apologize to my child, and then I’d want them moved to a new class so they could learn from a teacher who is able to handle students with learning challenges without publicly shaming them.

This is beyond saying a shaming comment to a student, which I could believe. The walking a kid down and interrupting another teacher, in a totally separate class, that has nothing at all to do with your student, just to make more a joke if it isn’t believable. No teacher, even bad ones, would do this. That is weird and psycho

What an inane comment. There are teachers who have been convicted of sexually abusing their students, but a teacher who got overly frustrated and lashed out at a student would never never do something as terrible as embarrassing a student? Remember this case at success academy?

https://www.nytimes.com/2016/02/13/nyregion/success-academy-teacher-rips-up-student-paper.html?unlocked_article_code=1.AU0.g_zF.hwp_mZoHLAjH&smid=url-share

Teachers are human. And they can behave as badly as the rest of us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP Here - I wanted to provide an update. We had a conference yesterday with the 3rd grade teacher, the kindergarten teacher, and the principal to discuss what happened. The teacher said that when my daughter didn't complete the assignment given, she asked why and my daughter said that she didn't know how to do it. The teacher said that didn't understand why my daughter wouldn't know how to do this work. She quizzed her on a couple of subtraction facts and my daughter couldn't answer them. The teacher didn't understand why my daughter isn't grasping what the teacher believes are foundational math concepts. So, she took my daughter down to a kindergarten class to see if that teacher could explain those concepts to her. The kindergarten teacher said that she asked my daughter to step aside to a quiet area of the room because she did not want my daughter to hear the two teachers discussing her. Once the teachers finished discussing what my daughter was having trouble with, the kindergarten teacher suggested that couldn't help at that very moment. The kindergarten teacher said she was not comfortable addressing this "on the spot" and in front of my daughter or the rest of her class. My daughter's 3rd grade teacher did apologize for the situation, but said that felt that she had no other choice. We ended the meeting with a plan to meet in December to assess if my daughter needs to be moved to another class that fits her learning style and make sure that her IEP covers support for some additional foundational math topics. Interestingly though, after the meeting, the kindergarten teacher walked with me to the parking lot and explained that she didn't like what happened. She said that she was very uncomfortable with the level of frustration the 3rd grade teacher displayed when she came to the kindergarten classroom. Which is why she asked my daughter to go to another part of the room. The kindergarten teacher also offered to spend some time after school twice a week to help my daughter catch up. We are beyond thankful for this kindergarten teacher.

Sorry this is such a long post, but thank everyone for your pointers and suggestions. They came in handy and I think we'll be on a good path going forward.

What school is this that the teacher walked you to the car and is offering to tutor your child one on one, which is not allowed? It sounds like BS, sorry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP Here - I wanted to provide an update. We had a conference yesterday with the 3rd grade teacher, the kindergarten teacher, and the principal to discuss what happened. The teacher said that when my daughter didn't complete the assignment given, she asked why and my daughter said that she didn't know how to do it. The teacher said that didn't understand why my daughter wouldn't know how to do this work. She quizzed her on a couple of subtraction facts and my daughter couldn't answer them. The teacher didn't understand why my daughter isn't grasping what the teacher believes are foundational math concepts. So, she took my daughter down to a kindergarten class to see if that teacher could explain those concepts to her. The kindergarten teacher said that she asked my daughter to step aside to a quiet area of the room because she did not want my daughter to hear the two teachers discussing her. Once the teachers finished discussing what my daughter was having trouble with, the kindergarten teacher suggested that couldn't help at that very moment. The kindergarten teacher said she was not comfortable addressing this "on the spot" and in front of my daughter or the rest of her class. My daughter's 3rd grade teacher did apologize for the situation, but said that felt that she had no other choice. We ended the meeting with a plan to meet in December to assess if my daughter needs to be moved to another class that fits her learning style and make sure that her IEP covers support for some additional foundational math topics. Interestingly though, after the meeting, the kindergarten teacher walked with me to the parking lot and explained that she didn't like what happened. She said that she was very uncomfortable with the level of frustration the 3rd grade teacher displayed when she came to the kindergarten classroom. Which is why she asked my daughter to go to another part of the room. The kindergarten teacher also offered to spend some time after school twice a week to help my daughter catch up. We are beyond thankful for this kindergarten teacher.

Sorry this is such a long post, but thank everyone for your pointers and suggestions. They came in handy and I think we'll be on a good path going forward.

What school is this that the teacher walked you to the car and is offering to tutor your child one on one, which is not allowed? It sounds like BS, sorry.

OP here - I have no idea what is not allowed. The teacher offered and I think she was being kind. She wasn't walking me to my car as if it was a service. We were walking out at the same time. I appreciated her candor and offer of help. Can we please stop turning every turn of this situation into a "what's real what's not?" I'm very much a real person with real kids and a real situation that I thought I could get some additional information on from others who might have more experience than me. I'm a parent that is very new to the special education/special needs world and I'm doing my best to navigate it while advocating for my child. I shared this story to get some advice as well as to provide some perspective for others who might experience the same in the future.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Teacher here. That's awful and I'm sorry it happened to your child. Is this a new teacher?

I hear comments like this all the time. Even paras feel free to say things like this. OP's kid needs to grow a thicker skin if she wants to survive in this world. Talking to the principal will do nothing.

[Anonymous]

Who was watching the third graders while the teacher walked the OP's DD to the kindergarten classroom?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Who was watching the third graders while the teacher walked the OP's DD to the kindergarten classroom?

OP here - the teacher's aide was in the room. She confirmed that. And the kindergarten teacher's aide was in the kindergarten class while the two teachers were talking.

[Anonymous]

What did the teacher say when you asked her about this?

[Anonymous]

I’m a teacher and I completely believe this did and can happen. 😡

[Anonymous]

I am a school psychologist and 100% believe this parent and this situation. There are some really amazing and caring teachers (sounds like the kindergarten teacher is one) and then there area one or two really, really awful and mean teachers at every school. Often they don't have kids of their own and just don't realize how their words can hurt kids.

[Anonymous]

What? So now you are saying she interrupted the kindergarten teacher while that teacher was teaching and asks her to drop what she is doing so she could teach your daughter, in 3rd grade, adding and subtracting on the spot? Sorry, this is not in the realm of believable

[Anonymous]

Your daughter is in 3rd grade and you just realized she can't add and subtract? What? Have you never seen her test scores before?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP Here - I wanted to provide an update. We had a conference yesterday with the 3rd grade teacher, the kindergarten teacher, and the principal to discuss what happened. The teacher said that when my daughter didn't complete the assignment given, she asked why and my daughter said that she didn't know how to do it. The teacher said that didn't understand why my daughter wouldn't know how to do this work. She quizzed her on a couple of subtraction facts and my daughter couldn't answer them. The teacher didn't understand why my daughter isn't grasping what the teacher believes are foundational math concepts. So, she took my daughter down to a kindergarten class to see if that teacher could explain those concepts to her. The kindergarten teacher said that she asked my daughter to step aside to a quiet area of the room because she did not want my daughter to hear the two teachers discussing her. Once the teachers finished discussing what my daughter was having trouble with, the kindergarten teacher suggested that couldn't help at that very moment. The kindergarten teacher said she was not comfortable addressing this "on the spot" and in front of my daughter or the rest of her class. My daughter's 3rd grade teacher did apologize for the situation, but said that felt that she had no other choice. We ended the meeting with a plan to meet in December to assess if my daughter needs to be moved to another class that fits her learning style and make sure that her IEP covers support for some additional foundational math topics. Interestingly though, after the meeting, the kindergarten teacher walked with me to the parking lot and explained that she didn't like what happened. She said that she was very uncomfortable with the level of frustration the 3rd grade teacher displayed when she came to the kindergarten classroom. Which is why she asked my daughter to go to another part of the room. The kindergarten teacher also offered to spend some time after school twice a week to help my daughter catch up. We are beyond thankful for this kindergarten teacher.

Sorry this is such a long post, but thank everyone for your pointers and suggestions. They came in handy and I think we'll be on a good path going forward.

OP, it’s understandable that the 3rd grade teacher might want the K teacher to help explain concepts that are taught in the K class, but the way this teacher went about it (in front of the K class, in front of your daughter) is completely unacceptable, and has nothing to do with your child having ADHD. The way to go about it would have been for you, the K teacher and the 3rd grade teacher to have a zoom discussing your child perhaps meeting with the K teacher before or after school for some remedial help. Personally I would request a private meeting with the principal to discuss this further to ensure no student who is behind in specific subject areas is put through this experience like your child was.

[Anonymous]

Troll

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Troll

Yeah. I’m an elementary school principal. There’s no way they would have had this conference with the kindergarten teacher there. This is made up.