Teacher Embarrasses 3rd Grader

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to speak with the teacher with the principal. Stay calm and give the teacher a chance to share her side. I have no idea how she could deny this. I mean, a kid could misunderstand or misremember what a teacher says. But I can’t imagine any valid reason for this teacher to take your kid down to another classroom. That’s beyond ridiculous, and I’m so sorry this happened to your child.

I’d ask for two things: The teacher apologizes to your child with you there and second, that your child be moved to another class beginning the Monday after Thanksgiving.

—an elementary school principal

+1 but also be prepared for the teacher to quit at the end of the year

No problem! Anyone who does that needs to go. No principal is that desperate.

[Anonymous]

100 I can see this happening- teacher with over 20 years experience.

My question to OP is what do you want ? Do you want to punish the teacher? Or do you want to help them understand the impact that this had on your daughter, and what an important figure the teacher is in your daughter’s daily life? This person has a significant impact on your daughter’s day to day! I hope you can help them understand that this action really hurt your daughter and you want to repair the relationship. That goes two ways- can you forgive this teacher for this terrible decision? and work with them for your daughters future success?

[Anonymous]

You need to insist that she is placed in another classroom. That is not just a dumb comment as a pp suggests, it’s harmful, over the top, and unwarranted. The ADHD doesn’t matter here, and if she gets a diagnosis the teacher won’t be able to handle it.

I doubt you’ll get an apology, fyi. If you believe and support your kid that will be enough. I know from experience.

[Anonymous]

I taught third grade for 15 years, and I absolutely believe that a third grader with ADHD could remember an interaction like this with detail. Kids with ADHD or LDs often have incredible memory in certain domains.

The rest of the class is also affected by this interaction, so the principal definitely needs to get involved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here - While the situation may seem unbelievable, it actually happened. My daughter has no frame of reference to make up such a situation. And I don't know if the teacher left her class unsupervised. Thank you PPs with the advice about speaking with the principal and teacher and requesting an apology. I will definitely be pursuing those ideas.

You'd be surprised about what 3rd graders make up. Be prepared to hear a much different story when you talk to the principal. What did the teacher say when you asked?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I taught third grade for 15 years, and I absolutely believe that a third grader with ADHD could remember an interaction like this with detail. Kids with ADHD or LDs often have incredible memory in certain domains.

The rest of the class is also affected by this interaction, so the principal definitely needs to get involved.

Still not convinced. My daughter with ADHD, same age, absolutely recalls things in a way that make her seem like the aggrieved victim when the truth is anything but. Nobody is saying ignore and disbelieve, rather, get all the information first before demanding apologies and other drastic moves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here - While the situation may seem unbelievable, it actually happened. My daughter has no frame of reference to make up such a situation. And I don't know if the teacher left her class unsupervised. Thank you PPs with the advice about speaking with the principal and teacher and requesting an apology. I will definitely be pursuing those ideas.

You'd be surprised about what 3rd graders make up. Be prepared to hear a much different story when you talk to the principal. What did the teacher say when you asked?

Most useful advice a veteran teacher told me: there are two sides to every story you hear, and the truth is always somewhere in between.

I bet something did happen to embarrass the OP’s daughter, and the teacher might have messed up out of frustration. I really really doubt, however, the story is actually as egregious as the OP’s post.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I taught third grade for 15 years, and I absolutely believe that a third grader with ADHD could remember an interaction like this with detail. Kids with ADHD or LDs often have incredible memory in certain domains.

The rest of the class is also affected by this interaction, so the principal definitely needs to get involved.

Still not convinced. My daughter with ADHD, same age, absolutely recalls things in a way that make her seem like the aggrieved victim when the truth is anything but. Nobody is saying ignore and disbelieve, rather, get all the information first before demanding apologies and other drastic moves.

Was just coming to post the same thing. My adhd kid, always comes up with elaborate stories where they are the victim.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here - While the situation may seem unbelievable, it actually happened. My daughter has no frame of reference to make up such a situation. And I don't know if the teacher left her class unsupervised. Thank you PPs with the advice about speaking with the principal and teacher and requesting an apology. I will definitely be pursuing those ideas.

Your daughter can't follow simple instructions but can remember with precise detail this fantastic story? Do you often get played by your daughter?

Yeah, this didn't happen.

OP here - My daughter has Autism Level 1 - so, yes, it's not out the realm of possibility for her to remember details of a story, but not be able to complete some assignments. Nowhere did I say that the assignment she was supposed to complete was simple.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here - While the situation may seem unbelievable, it actually happened. My daughter has no frame of reference to make up such a situation. And I don't know if the teacher left her class unsupervised. Thank you PPs with the advice about speaking with the principal and teacher and requesting an apology. I will definitely be pursuing those ideas.

Your daughter can't follow simple instructions but can remember with precise detail this fantastic story? Do you often get played by your daughter?

Yeah, this didn't happen.

OP here - My daughter has Autism Level 1 - so, yes, it's not out the realm of possibility for her to remember details of a story, but not be able to complete some assignments. Nowhere did I say that the assignment she was supposed to complete was simple.

OP, get the details before you go demanding anything. There were clearly plenty of witnesses. You may find out it didn’t happen the way your child perceived it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 3rd grader has ADHD and we're in the process of establishing an IEP. There was an incident last week where she was given a classroom assignment, but did not complete it because she didn't understand the concept. And when the teacher tried to explain it to her, she still wasn't quite getting it. At that moment, the teacher gets her out of her seat and says "looks like you need to go back to kindergarten." This is done in front of the class, so she's embarrassed. And then the 3rd grade teacher ushers her down to a kindergarten class and tells the kindergarten teacher that she can't help my daughter, which embarrassed her further in front of the kindergarteners. I was mortified when my daughter shared this story. I'm awaiting a meeting with the principal to discuss what happened. In the meantime, any thoughts around how to keep her out of a situation where she's clearly not being supported educationally? For what it's worth, her ADHD is a formal diagnosis on file with the school.

This is rather detailed to be believable

Good point. It is an interesting amount of detail from a parent who wasn't there. I call troll.

Totally agree.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:100 I can see this happening- teacher with over 20 years experience.

My question to OP is what do you want ? Do you want to punish the teacher? Or do you want to help them understand the impact that this had on your daughter, and what an important figure the teacher is in your daughter’s daily life? This person has a significant impact on your daughter’s day to day! I hope you can help them understand that this action really hurt your daughter and you want to repair the relationship. That goes two ways- can you forgive this teacher for this terrible decision? and work with them for your daughters future success?

OP here - I appreciate your questions and they got me thinking. No, I don't want to punish the teacher - I can certainly forgive, but more than anything, I want a supportive classroom experience for my daughter. I'm noticing her start to shut down with certain subjects where she struggles, and to be nervous about asking for help. Whatever creates that more supportive environment is what I'm after. If that's another classroom placement, I'm all for it. Thank you for your perspective.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I taught third grade for 15 years, and I absolutely believe that a third grader with ADHD could remember an interaction like this with detail. Kids with ADHD or LDs often have incredible memory in certain domains.

The rest of the class is also affected by this interaction, so the principal definitely needs to get involved.

Still not convinced. My daughter with ADHD, same age, absolutely recalls things in a way that make her seem like the aggrieved victim when the truth is anything but. Nobody is saying ignore and disbelieve, rather, get all the information first before demanding apologies and other drastic moves.

OP again - I absolutely agree. I wouldn't go in with her story being the gospel. It's best to find out what happened. However, with her having no frame of reference for this kind of situation, I do believe there is enough truth that something unkind happened. And whatever that unkindness is needs to be addressed. We're talking about kids in a 3rd grade class. She's not a bad child, she is not disruptive. In all she's a typical kid that isn't always an angel, but I don't think anything with a missed assignment would require embarrassment of any kind. That's what I want to address in a way that gets a good outcome for her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here - While the situation may seem unbelievable, it actually happened. My daughter has no frame of reference to make up such a situation. And I don't know if the teacher left her class unsupervised. Thank you PPs with the advice about speaking with the principal and teacher and requesting an apology. I will definitely be pursuing those ideas.

Your daughter can't follow simple instructions but can remember with precise detail this fantastic story? Do you often get played by your daughter?

Yeah, this didn't happen.

OP here - My daughter has Autism Level 1 - so, yes, it's not out the realm of possibility for her to remember details of a story, but not be able to complete some assignments. Nowhere did I say that the assignment she was supposed to complete was simple.

Here come the rest of the details trickling out.... first autism. What's next?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here - While the situation may seem unbelievable, it actually happened. My daughter has no frame of reference to make up such a situation. And I don't know if the teacher left her class unsupervised. Thank you PPs with the advice about speaking with the principal and teacher and requesting an apology. I will definitely be pursuing those ideas.

Your daughter can't follow simple instructions but can remember with precise detail this fantastic story? Do you often get played by your daughter?

Yeah, this didn't happen.

OP here - My daughter has Autism Level 1 - so, yes, it's not out the realm of possibility for her to remember details of a story, but not be able to complete some assignments. Nowhere did I say that the assignment she was supposed to complete was simple.

You have the nitty gritty details on what happened next, but what was the assignment exactly?