Teacher Embarrasses 3rd Grader

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:100 I can see this happening- teacher with over 20 years experience.

My question to OP is what do you want ? Do you want to punish the teacher? Or do you want to help them understand the impact that this had on your daughter, and what an important figure the teacher is in your daughter’s daily life? This person has a significant impact on your daughter’s day to day! I hope you can help them understand that this action really hurt your daughter and you want to repair the relationship. That goes two ways- can you forgive this teacher for this terrible decision? and work with them for your daughters future success?

Also, what are you going to do to help your child in school. If this story is true (probably not) the kid is obviously distracting and disruptive to the rest of the class.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 3rd grader has ADHD and we're in the process of establishing an IEP. There was an incident last week where she was given a classroom assignment, but did not complete it because she didn't understand the concept. And when the teacher tried to explain it to her, she still wasn't quite getting it. At that moment, the teacher gets her out of her seat and says "looks like you need to go back to kindergarten." This is done in front of the class, so she's embarrassed. And then the 3rd grade teacher ushers her down to a kindergarten class and tells the kindergarten teacher that she can't help my daughter, which embarrassed her further in front of the kindergarteners. I was mortified when my daughter shared this story. I'm awaiting a meeting with the principal to discuss what happened. In the meantime, any thoughts around how to keep her out of a situation where she's clearly not being supported educationally? For what it's worth, her ADHD is a formal diagnosis on file with the school.

This is rather detailed to be believable

Good point. It is an interesting amount of detail from a parent who wasn't there. I call troll.

Totally agree.

Yeah, no one the teacher physically left her class, walked down to K, pulled the K teacher out of class to ask them that dumb question , just to make fun of your kid. No way.

[Anonymous]

THAT HAPPENED BELIEVE It ,BELIEVE TO YOUR CHILD, SUPPORT HER!!!!

[Anonymous]

Holy heck i usually think parents are overly protective but that is really unprofessional and serious. If true that teacher needs an intervention.

[Anonymous]

Why I have trouble believing it is your constant reference to the ADHD, as if THAT'S why the teacher's act is inexcusable and your kid is a victim. If this really happened, it would be problematic regardless of diagnosis. Too many people use an ADHD diagnosis to excuse bad behavior and justify a mama bear overreaction. I think you need to reflect a bit before you decide how to act.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:THAT HAPPENED BELIEVE It ,BELIEVE TO YOUR CHILD, SUPPORT HER!!!!

Your mom is already handling it. Go do your homework so you don't cause any more problems.

[Anonymous]

I have had teachers cover up/down play things that they did while frustrated that they realized were big mistakes once they calmed down. Other students going home and recounting word for word the nasty thing the teacher said. Once I learned of it directly from another parent whose child was upset. Kids don’t mind seeing other kids get in trouble but at least a handful of kind empathetic kids understand the difference between discipline and shame and they don’t enjoy having a teacher who shames people.

This should be easy enough to verify with a discussion with k teacher so agree that getting the principal involved is good idea. Find out what happened, get your child transferred to a different class and make sure you are keeping the IEP up to date. If teachers are struggling with your child that may mean they both need more help. Keep pursuing ADHD diagnosis- meds can really help.

Finally, I firmly believe you can enforce expectations for good behavior and still expect your child to be treated respectfully. When talking to my own child I never excuse their behavior but do say the words used were not ok. It’s only been a problem in one classroom ever so I know it’s possible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:THAT HAPPENED BELIEVE It ,BELIEVE TO YOUR CHILD, SUPPORT HER!!!!

When we see it didn’t happen, we mean OP is a troll and making it up. Not that her daughter isn’t believable

[Anonymous]

A couple things:

1) A child can recount an experience like this in a way that makes them look like more of a victim and it's not "a lie." Especially if the child has special needs like autism or ADHD -- many kids with these diagnoses are ULTRA sensitive to criticism and embarrassment, so for them, an experience that another child might experience as annoying or embarrassing feels much worse. That's why the child's diagnosis is relevant -- this is poor behavior in a teacher with any child, but it is particularly problematic with a child who has special needs and thus has a reason to struggle in class AND may have extra sensitivity to this style of punishment. So the child's "version" of the even is actually highly relevant because part of the issue her is a teacher using a very inappropriate tactic against a vulnerable student.

2) I have seen teachers do many things within the realm of this behavior, and upon reading the OP immediately thought specifically of a teacher's aide my child once had who was very emotionally reactive and used to punish kids like this all the time -- shaming, public embarrassment, threatening with consequences the teacher (much less the aide) could never actually accomplish. Some adults are immature, emotionally dysregulated, and petty AF. This is exactly how that aide would have "solved" a problem like an ADHD student struggling with the directions to an assignment, because she would have been frustrated about having to explain something twice or find another way to reach a student, and would have taken it out on the student. I believe this happened.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:100 I can see this happening- teacher with over 20 years experience.

My question to OP is what do you want ? Do you want to punish the teacher? Or do you want to help them understand the impact that this had on your daughter, and what an important figure the teacher is in your daughter’s daily life? This person has a significant impact on your daughter’s day to day! I hope you can help them understand that this action really hurt your daughter and you want to repair the relationship. That goes two ways- can you forgive this teacher for this terrible decision? and work with them for your daughters future success?

Not OP, but a teacher with this little emotional intelligence and empathy should not be working with children. She should be fired.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:100 I can see this happening- teacher with over 20 years experience.

My question to OP is what do you want ? Do you want to punish the teacher? Or do you want to help them understand the impact that this had on your daughter, and what an important figure the teacher is in your daughter’s daily life? This person has a significant impact on your daughter’s day to day! I hope you can help them understand that this action really hurt your daughter and you want to repair the relationship. That goes two ways- can you forgive this teacher for this terrible decision? and work with them for your daughters future success?

Not OP, but a teacher with this little emotional intelligence and empathy should not be working with children. She should be fired.

Can we stop making assumptions? I’d love to see a video of what happened in the room that day. I’m guessing the teacher didn’t do anything close to what the OP’s description accuses her of.

I grow a little tired of witch hunts against teachers (or anyone, for that matter). There are too many questionable parts of this story. Namely, how did this happen when the teacher couldn’t leave her class alone?

So instead of jumping on the “this teacher should be fired” bandwagon, why don’t people wait to see what the actual truth is?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is the ADHD relevant to the issue in this instance?

Why are you asking? If you were a teacher or familiar with ADHD you would know that ADHD kids have problems with multiple step instructions. At elementary levels, and even above, they need more handholding with regards to instructions. My high schooler who is 2E and a straight A student at a rigorous private regularly gets points off for missing a simple instruction like “underline” or something unimportant like that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here - While the situation may seem unbelievable, it actually happened. My daughter has no frame of reference to make up such a situation. And I don't know if the teacher left her class unsupervised. Thank you PPs with the advice about speaking with the principal and teacher and requesting an apology. I will definitely be pursuing those ideas.

Your daughter can't follow simple instructions but can remember with precise detail this fantastic story? Do you often get played by your daughter?

It wasn’t some complicated story. Teacher made a comment, dragged her to kindergarten, told the same comment. She didn’t say anything about kindergarten teacher’s reaction.

Teachers have said worse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:100 I can see this happening- teacher with over 20 years experience.

My question to OP is what do you want ? Do you want to punish the teacher? Or do you want to help them understand the impact that this had on your daughter, and what an important figure the teacher is in your daughter’s daily life? This person has a significant impact on your daughter’s day to day! I hope you can help them understand that this action really hurt your daughter and you want to repair the relationship. That goes two ways- can you forgive this teacher for this terrible decision? and work with them for your daughters future success?

Also, what are you going to do to help your child in school. If this story is true (probably not) the kid is obviously distracting and disruptive to the rest of the class.

I think this is the ugly mean troll right here

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I taught third grade for 15 years, and I absolutely believe that a third grader with ADHD could remember an interaction like this with detail. Kids with ADHD or LDs often have incredible memory in certain domains.

The rest of the class is also affected by this interaction, so the principal definitely needs to get involved.

Still not convinced. My daughter with ADHD, same age, absolutely recalls things in a way that make her seem like the aggrieved victim when the truth is anything but. Nobody is saying ignore and disbelieve, rather, get all the information first before demanding apologies and other drastic moves.

Was just coming to post the same thing. My adhd kid, always comes up with elaborate stories where they are the victim.

What’s your point? My ADHD kid never comes up with elaborate stories where they are the victim. Now you have a data set of 2.