Would you judge - pacifier at bed time.

[Anonymous]

3 is the max age, anything beyond that is past the norm.

How long does this go on? What's the exit plan? Let her decide?

[Anonymous]

It's not disastrous parenting and also not abnormal for a five year old to have some kind of bedtime-limited self-soothing like that. There are far, far worse parenting practices out there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's not disastrous parenting and also not abnormal for a five year old to have some kind of bedtime-limited self-soothing like that. There are far, far worse parenting practices out there.

Agree. No one is asking anyone to pay their dental bills. My dd who had one until 5 was the calmest baby/toddler/kindergartner you could hope for. She didn’t need it she wanted it. She was fine when we left it in the car and at preschool and outings and could go all day without it.

I remember they showed a picture of Tom Cruise’s child in magazines walking in NYC at 5 years old with a pacifier. People had some negative opinions. So silly.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn’t judge. It’s old for a pacifier and you should phase it out but I definitely don’t think your a monster or a bad parent.

My 4y/o sucks in his fingers to relax and when in bed to fall asleep. Not sure what to do about it since I can’t take his hand away and it’s something he’s found that soothes him

[Anonymous]

I sucked my thumb til I was 8 so no I wouldn’t judge, some kids have very very strong need for a soothing mechanism. But I do want to correct your misconception - pacifiers can and do cause dental/speech issues. Not in every kid but it does happen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would judge the hell out of this but this is the road my niece is on.... She's four and still has a pacifier in her mouth, 70% of her waking hours and 100% of her sleeping ones

This is INSANE. I have a 4 year old and I literally find this hard to even picture. How very weird - do the parents not realize how abnormal that is?!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 5 year old still drinks a 5oz bottle of milk at night. I realize he’s way too old, but he likes it. It takes him less than a minute, so I doubt it is doing much harm to his teeth. And he brushes after.

I wouldn’t worry about the paci if the use is as minimal as you say. Let them move on when they’re ready.

Whaaaat.

You people are nuts! Are you having a hard time letting go of the baby phase or something?

[Anonymous]

I would assume your child had a disability or special need to be honest

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would judge the hell out of this but this is the road my niece is on.... She's four and still has a pacifier in her mouth, 70% of her waking hours and 100% of her sleeping ones

This is INSANE. I have a 4 year old and I literally find this hard to even picture. How very weird - do the parents not realize how abnormal that is?!

My sister had a baby a few months ago.... They tried to take it away from their daughter several times during the pregnancy but it was always a meltdown and now they just don't have the mental bandwidth to even deal with it. So the frequency of use has increased significantly..... Their daughter will also take the passy from the baby and put it in her mouth if she can't find hers. Literally every Snapchat. Her picture I have of their daughter has a pacifier in her mouth.

[Anonymous]

My older DD was addicted to a pacifier as a baby, and we finally got her off it at 3. She is now 14 and does have a very slight speech impediment (the s and b sounds). When she was younger she was self conscious and wanted speech therapy. To us, it’s not very noticeable. She was a colicky baby, and sucking was the only thing that worked. She also had a security blanket.she’s a beautiful, smart girl with pretty good teeth! She had phase 1 expander but we opted not to do braces since her teeth look fine.

[Anonymous]

5 year olds are too old for a pacifier.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 5 year old still drinks a 5oz bottle of milk at night. I realize he’s way too old, but he likes it. It takes him less than a minute, so I doubt it is doing much harm to his teeth. And he brushes after.

I wouldn’t worry about the paci if the use is as minimal as you say. Let them move on when they’re ready.

Whaaaat.

You people are nuts! Are you having a hard time letting go of the baby phase or something?

DP - it's far more nuts to judge a parent as self-aware as PP. Good for her that she supports a brief, harmless thing that helps with her kid's bedtime routine, rather than fight about it because... why, exactly? A bunch of people with zero expertise in child development are judgmental AF?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 5 year old still drinks a 5oz bottle of milk at night. I realize he’s way too old, but he likes it. It takes him less than a minute, so I doubt it is doing much harm to his teeth. And he brushes after.

I wouldn’t worry about the paci if the use is as minimal as you say. Let them move on when they’re ready.

Whaaaat.

You people are nuts! Are you having a hard time letting go of the baby phase or something?

My guess is the mom is reinforcing the nighttime bottle habit by making it a positive part of the routine. The kid probably doesn’t care about the bottle but just knows “mommy likes to give me a bottle.” There is definitely something off about a parent who cannot draw a reasonable boundary like this - likely they are overall an extremely permissive parent and don’t provide any disciple or structure for basic things. That said, I echo a PP who said there are worse parenting practices. Extreme permissiveness may not be that bad for kids who can on their own learn to adapt to the challenges and rules that they face outside the home at school etc. Maybe for some personalities the lack of structure at home lets them develop their independence. But could be detrimental for other types of kids particularly if they are not learning skills and if the permissiveness has developed to accomodate anxiety or defiance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 5 year old still drinks a 5oz bottle of milk at night. I realize he’s way too old, but he likes it. It takes him less than a minute, so I doubt it is doing much harm to his teeth. And he brushes after.

I wouldn’t worry about the paci if the use is as minimal as you say. Let them move on when they’re ready.

Whaaaat.

You people are nuts! Are you having a hard time letting go of the baby phase or something?

DP - it's far more nuts to judge a parent as self-aware as PP. Good for her that she supports a brief, harmless thing that helps with her kid's bedtime routine, rather than fight about it because... why, exactly? A bunch of people with zero expertise in child development are judgmental AF?

She’s not “supporting” the bottle. She’s perpetuating and facilitating the bottle. It’s the mom’s choice to let this happen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 5 year old still drinks a 5oz bottle of milk at night. I realize he’s way too old, but he likes it. It takes him less than a minute, so I doubt it is doing much harm to his teeth. And he brushes after.

I wouldn’t worry about the paci if the use is as minimal as you say. Let them move on when they’re ready.

Whaaaat.

You people are nuts! Are you having a hard time letting go of the baby phase or something?

My guess is the mom is reinforcing the nighttime bottle habit by making it a positive part of the routine. The kid probably doesn’t care about the bottle but just knows “mommy likes to give me a bottle.” There is definitely something off about a parent who cannot draw a reasonable boundary like this - likely they are overall an extremely permissive parent and don’t provide any disciple or structure for basic things. That said, I echo a PP who said there are worse parenting practices. Extreme permissiveness may not be that bad for kids who can on their own learn to adapt to the challenges and rules that they face outside the home at school etc. Maybe for some personalities the lack of structure at home lets them develop their independence. But could be detrimental for other types of kids particularly if they are not learning skills and if the permissiveness has developed to accomodate anxiety or defiance.

I'm the PP directly above you - and also the one who referenced "worse parenting practices."

Giving a small bottle as part of a five year old's bedtime routine, when it's brief, followed by teeth-brushing, and the parent *knows* is less common for that age is NOT "extremely permissive" parenting. Not even close. To me, it suggests a parent who may give in on this issue because they know what boundaries truly are important to hold, e.g., brushing teeth right before bed, and which are not, e.g., a small comfort that harms literally no one. You're making a crap-ton of assumptions based on one brief post.

If the OP really cares about being judged, that's their business. Judging someone for something doesn't make anyone an expert in that topic.