Would you judge - pacifier at bed time.

[Anonymous]

Have you asked your dentist about this?

[Anonymous]

Switch to a chew toy, 5 it’s way too old for a pacifier imo. There’s a link on SN board about chew necklaces, look there for ideas.

[Anonymous]

Our first dd had her paci (bedtime only) until 4.5. We had tried all the tricks to get rid of it earlier but it was proving to be traumatic for her. One day at 4.5 she said ‘I don’t need this anymore’ and put it on her bedside table and never picked it up again. She has no speech impediments and her teeth are great.

I would be worried/uncomfortable at 5 if still using, especially in public but I wouldn’t judge another parent given our experience. Honestly, at that age if I saw a 5 yo with one in public, I’d assume she has SN.

Our younger DD is 3 and we are having a hard time with her paci addiction too…

[Anonymous]

My pediatrician said he didn’t want to see a pacifier at all past age 1. Nothing during the day past 6 months.

[Anonymous]

My daughter sucked her thumb until she was 8, and had an orthodontic contraption with prongs put in to make her stop. Totally worked. She’s now a HS senior heading to college next year and suffers no residual trauma.
It’s fine, OP. But chances are your kid will need braces.

[Anonymous]

OP - Obviously I wouldn't tell you but it was found out by a visiting relative, who dug into me.

I challenge the lazy parenting she loves cuddling with toys in the day but can't settle with them at night time, I'm not any less loving or patient with her and spend a lot of time with her on bedtime routines, baths reading hugs....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP - Obviously I wouldn't tell you but it was found out by a visiting relative, who dug into me.

I challenge the lazy parenting she loves cuddling with toys in the day but can't settle with them at night time, I'm not any less loving or patient with her and spend a lot of time with her on bedtime routines, baths reading hugs....

Omg op you don’t need to challenge the lazy parenting thing. There are a few witches on this board who insist if you aren’t doing things their way you’re lazy. Don’t sweat it!

[Anonymous]

My 5 year old still drinks a 5oz bottle of milk at night. I realize he’s way too old, but he likes it. It takes him less than a minute, so I doubt it is doing much harm to his teeth. And he brushes after.

I wouldn’t worry about the paci if the use is as minimal as you say. Let them move on when they’re ready.

[Anonymous]

Yes, I would silently judge but also realize I’m not in that situation so I don’t know what I’d do. My niece had a horrible thumb sucking habit at bedtime well into elementary school. They tried so many things and eventually she grew out of it. I think a pacifier is better than a thumb.

We are all doing the best we can with parenting. Don’t be hard on yourself. Your kid won’t be using a pacifier in high school and will likely need braces anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I would silently judge but also realize I’m not in that situation so I don’t know what I’d do. My niece had a horrible thumb sucking habit at bedtime well into elementary school. They tried so many things and eventually she grew out of it. I think a pacifier is better than a thumb.

We are all doing the best we can with parenting. Don’t be hard on yourself. Your kid won’t be using a pacifier in high school and will likely need braces anyway.

This is absolutely not true. Tons of lazy parenting out there is causing horrible behaviors in schools (extremely late pacifier use is not one of these examples, of course). People need to try harder and teach their kids again.

[Anonymous]

My DD was about 20 months when the dentist said to quit the paci ASAP so it wouldn’t impact her development.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP - Obviously I wouldn't tell you but it was found out by a visiting relative, who dug into me.

I challenge the lazy parenting she loves cuddling with toys in the day but can't settle with them at night time, I'm not any less loving or patient with her and spend a lot of time with her on bedtime routines, baths reading hugs....

you’re being too permissive. assuming she’s a NT child, she can settle just fine without the pacifier. you’re not giving her the opportunity to self soothe.

what does the other parent say?

I think you need to work on a plan to go cold turkey.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 5 year old still drinks a 5oz bottle of milk at night. I realize he’s way too old, but he likes it. It takes him less than a minute, so I doubt it is doing much harm to his teeth. And he brushes after.

I wouldn’t worry about the paci if the use is as minimal as you say. Let them move on when they’re ready.

it’s truly ok for parents to take away age-inappropriate things. the 5 year old may end up being a 2nd grader with a bottle (I’ve seen it). the bottle itself isn’t an issue but it is an indication of an incredibly permissive parenting style that is probably not doing the child any favors.

but at the end of the day I actually cannot judge one parenting style as better than others, assuming that no abuse or neglect is involved. lord knows I don’t feel like I have a lock on parenting skills. but if you’re going to practice a type of parent pretty far outside the norm, with your kid not meeting age-based milestones… you’re going to get comments about it, and you may want to reflect on what it means.

[Anonymous]

You are the parent and have to do what is right albeit hard in this situation which is find another soother. My toddler hates brushing her teeth but I do it twice a day because I’d feel awful if she got cavities because I gave in to her.

[Anonymous]

DH doesn't mind either, we're in the same boat. It's only a couple of hours a day. We're not limiting her ability to self soothe in the day and is perfectly personable and well adjusted.