Are some schools really better for quirky kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I have four kids. I don’t tell DD she is quirky, or describe her that way, but she is definitely someone who has very specific things she is interested in.

For example, for her Halloween costume she’s a person from a biography she read last year (the equivalent of a Nobel prize winning scientist). My other kids are going to be more typical things like super heroes, black cats, witches, etc. There is nothing wrong with her choice - we should definitely celebrate scientists! - but it’s an unusual choice.

Looking for a place where she can be herself and blossom, and not sure that’s her current school. We are otherwise happy with her school, so only want to move her if it would be a better “fit.” But of course I’m wondering if all the schools are really pretty much the same (in terms of kids personalities), which is why I am posting.

OP the point is, to kids, quirky is a pejorative term. I suggest you drop it from your vocabulary

Agree and agree. Drop the label. Most people use "quirky" as code for ASD and extreme hyperinterest + poor manners. As if one excuses the other.

OP's examples are not "quirky" or unique. She sounds like a nice, sweet, smart kid. Who isn't have any social nor academic issues at her current school.

Your disdain for neurodivergent people is really jarring, pp.

I often wonder if parents are guilty of pushing their kids to be "quirky" because they like the idea. There are offbeat kids or whatever terminology we want to use but now that I'm a middle aged adult and looking back across my life at the quirky/offbeat people I knew, life has not really been as kind to them as it is to more straightforward kids. Society rarely rewards quirkiness.

It doesn't mean you shouldn't have wide-ranging or niche interests but kids who take on the concept of quirkiness as their identity are most likely hurting themselves in the long run.

DP. Nobody voluntarily “takes on” a “concept of quirkiness.” It’s a temperament just like introversion or extraversion. It’s also not contagious. And you must not know many professors if you don’t know any quirky successful people who focus on niches.

This is absolutely false. Kids are searching for an identity. Some parents love the idea of having an "odd" child, and push that label/ identity onto a kid or two, usually from an early age. i have seen it in my own family - one child celebrated for being the oddball. Sadly, that person has had a more difficult life than her siblings and is still a bit of a mess even today.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nobody voluntarily “takes on” a “concept of quirkiness.” It’s a temperament just like introversion or extraversion.

OP said it had nothing to do with temperament: "when I say quirky, to me it means my DD has strong interests in some fairly narrow areas - for example, she loves history, her sport is a martial art, and she sews and reads for fun. She also plays video games, etc."

[Anonymous]

Can we please dispense with this pejorative term, once and for all?

[Anonymous]

By the way, there may be some after school activities that can help a kid find a friendly group regardless of the school. Getting together with 30 kids for theater rehearsal or a bike ride can be very refreshing if you're at a school where you don't fit in that well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can we please dispense with this pejorative term, once and for all?

+100

[Anonymous]

Quirky isn’t pejorative unless you think there is something wrong with being different— which clearly some of you do.

[Anonymous]

I think it’s insulting when some people here try to rebrand the word quirky as a positive word, and then gaslight me by suggesting I don’t understand what it means. It takes an awful lot of work and twisting oneself into knots to explain how calling another person quirky is a compliment. It can be done, and some quirky people might be highly charismatic and interesting and admirable, but no, the word “quirky” is not generally positive.

[Anonymous]

https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/quirky

Merriam-Webster disagrees with you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/quirky

Merriam-Webster disagrees with you.

I don’t think you understand the denotative meaning when applied to thoughts and ideas versus the connotative meaning when applied to teenagers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s insulting when some people here try to rebrand the word quirky as a positive word, and then gaslight me by suggesting I don’t understand what it means. It takes an awful lot of work and twisting oneself into knots to explain how calling another person quirky is a compliment. It can be done, and some quirky people might be highly charismatic and interesting and admirable, but no, the word “quirky” is not generally positive.

New poster and I swear I am not gaslighting you. I have never thought of quirky as an insult. I have always imagined someone quirky as a non-conformist with an element of creativity, so yes a positive connotation in my mind. The dictionary link someone posted seems to agree with me. I could only imagine "quirky" as an insult if you say it to someone who is highly conformist and wants to be mainstream.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I have four kids. I don’t tell DD she is quirky, or describe her that way, but she is definitely someone who has very specific things she is interested in.

For example, for her Halloween costume she’s a person from a biography she read last year (the equivalent of a Nobel prize winning scientist). My other kids are going to be more typical things like super heroes, black cats, witches, etc. There is nothing wrong with her choice - we should definitely celebrate scientists! - but it’s an unusual choice.

Looking for a place where she can be herself and blossom, and not sure that’s her current school. We are otherwise happy with her school, so only want to move her if it would be a better “fit.” But of course I’m wondering if all the schools are really pretty much the same (in terms of kids personalities), which is why I am posting.

OP the point is, to kids, quirky is a pejorative term. I suggest you drop it from your vocabulary

Agree and agree. Drop the label. Most people use "quirky" as code for ASD and extreme hyperinterest + poor manners. As if one excuses the other.

OP's examples are not "quirky" or unique. She sounds like a nice, sweet, smart kid. Who isn't have any social nor academic issues at her current school.

Your disdain for neurodivergent people is really jarring, pp.

I often wonder if parents are guilty of pushing their kids to be "quirky" because they like the idea. There are offbeat kids or whatever terminology we want to use but now that I'm a middle aged adult and looking back across my life at the quirky/offbeat people I knew, life has not really been as kind to them as it is to more straightforward kids. Society rarely rewards quirkiness.

It doesn't mean you shouldn't have wide-ranging or niche interests but kids who take on the concept of quirkiness as their identity are most likely hurting themselves in the long run.

DP. Nobody voluntarily “takes on” a “concept of quirkiness.” It’s a temperament just like introversion or extraversion. It’s also not contagious. And you must not know many professors if you don’t know any quirky successful people who focus on niches.

This is absolutely false. Kids are searching for an identity. Some parents love the idea of having an "odd" child, and push that label/ identity onto a kid or two, usually from an early age. i have seen it in my own family - one child celebrated for being the oddball. Sadly, that person has had a more difficult life than her siblings and is still a bit of a mess even today.

I have never witnessed this. What an … odd thing to believe! seems like an excuse for you to indulge in your dislike of quirky people. (One reason I am keeping my yes, quirky, kid out of mainstream privates, to stay away from judgemental conformists.)

[Anonymous]

I am kind of fascinated by this reaction to the word quirky. I wonder, do the same people who think quirky is a pejorative insult have an even worse response to the word "nerd?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/quirky

Merriam-Webster disagrees with you.

I don’t think you understand the denotative meaning when applied to thoughts and ideas versus the connotative meaning when applied to teenagers.

Connotative meanings can and do evolve over time. Lots of words that were pejorative in the 80s/90s are no longer that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s insulting when some people here try to rebrand the word quirky as a positive word, and then gaslight me by suggesting I don’t understand what it means. It takes an awful lot of work and twisting oneself into knots to explain how calling another person quirky is a compliment. It can be done, and some quirky people might be highly charismatic and interesting and admirable, but no, the word “quirky” is not generally positive.

New poster and I swear I am not gaslighting you. I have never thought of quirky as an insult. I have always imagined someone quirky as a non-conformist with an element of creativity, so yes a positive connotation in my mind. The dictionary link someone posted seems to agree with me. I could only imagine "quirky" as an insult if you say it to someone who is highly conformist and wants to be mainstream.

I had the same reaction. Big 3 and Burke parent

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I have four kids. I don’t tell DD she is quirky, or describe her that way, but she is definitely someone who has very specific things she is interested in.

For example, for her Halloween costume she’s a person from a biography she read last year (the equivalent of a Nobel prize winning scientist). My other kids are going to be more typical things like super heroes, black cats, witches, etc. There is nothing wrong with her choice - we should definitely celebrate scientists! - but it’s an unusual choice.

Looking for a place where she can be herself and blossom, and not sure that’s her current school. We are otherwise happy with her school, so only want to move her if it would be a better “fit.” But of course I’m wondering if all the schools are really pretty much the same (in terms of kids personalities), which is why I am posting.

OP the point is, to kids, quirky is a pejorative term. I suggest you drop it from your vocabulary

Agree and agree. Drop the label. Most people use "quirky" as code for ASD and extreme hyperinterest + poor manners. As if one excuses the other.

OP's examples are not "quirky" or unique. She sounds like a nice, sweet, smart kid. Who isn't have any social nor academic issues at her current school.

Your disdain for neurodivergent people is really jarring, pp.

I often wonder if parents are guilty of pushing their kids to be "quirky" because they like the idea. There are offbeat kids or whatever terminology we want to use but now that I'm a middle aged adult and looking back across my life at the quirky/offbeat people I knew, life has not really been as kind to them as it is to more straightforward kids. Society rarely rewards quirkiness.

It doesn't mean you shouldn't have wide-ranging or niche interests but kids who take on the concept of quirkiness as their identity are most likely hurting themselves in the long run.

DP. Nobody voluntarily “takes on” a “concept of quirkiness.” It’s a temperament just like introversion or extraversion. It’s also not contagious. And you must not know many professors if you don’t know any quirky successful people who focus on niches.

This is absolutely false. Kids are searching for an identity. Some parents love the idea of having an "odd" child, and push that label/ identity onto a kid or two, usually from an early age. i have seen it in my own family - one child celebrated for being the oddball. Sadly, that person has had a more difficult life than her siblings and is still a bit of a mess even today.

I don't know what quirky even means for a child. Is it positive? Why are there schools more suitable for them? Every child is unique, even they seem normal. Why do we have to label the child? Is it to make them more distinctive? Competitive in some ways?