Is anyone giving in to ED because of anxiety?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP you really need to get a grip. It’s not your life.

Yeah, one could say this if the kid was bankrolling the tuition him/herself.
Parents definitely have a say in how their money is being spent.

Parents should not "control" where their kid goes, beyond stating "we have $X for you to spend yearly over 4 years" and anything beyond that is on you to figure out how to pay.
Fact is, your kid will achieve the most if they are at a school they picked and want to attend, not at the school mommy & daddy think they should attend.

And that $X should not change across schools---if you are willing to spend $X then it should apply to Harvard as well as a school ranked ~50th IMO

PP said "have a say" not "control." But the contradiction between your statements is what caught my eye. You seem very controlling, dictating how every other family should make this decision and allot their finances.

[Anonymous]

I am OP. This was a school DC picked. And one that we specifically looked at because it met all the criteria, including a high rate of merit. But I think there was a difference in seeing…oh… 68% of non need students get merit and then realizing well…you might not be one of them—even if you are high stats for the school. It’s not a school where they really NEED applicants but nor is it an Ivy League. It’s in that middle tier. We just started having second thoughts because it is so much money. And yes. We can do it. But it’s not like a drop in the bucket. It’s still a lot.

Personally, there are some schools I would be happy to pay full price for simply because of the prestige factor. I don’t think I’m alone in that. I think the number of people who really don’t care where their money goes is pretty small.

Ultimately, we’ve decided to ED and hope DC won’t be “punished” for that because it is their first choice school, meets everything they were looking for, good location, and is at least 75% of stats. Maybe I’ll report back in December. It honestly feels good just to decide and not obsess over it.

[Anonymous]

Name the school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you're a really good student, college admissions is very confusing these days.

For below top 50, it's pretty easy. Submit a test score if you want. Your 4.0 is good enough. A couple of ECs. No one cares about your race. Extra bonus if you can get a teacher rec that says something nice. Easy peasy. Get some merit

For top - it used to be 20, but US News made things weird - let's say 40. It's the apocalypse out there.

Be extremely strategic with the ED card. It makes no difference at MIT. To their benefit. But it also doesn't make a difference at Harvard. To their discredit. That's where they get the Jared Kushners of the world.

Always look at the data. Who are they taking and why and when.

It's game theory. Alway tell your kid it's nothing personal. It's a game. Play it as such. The ED thing is a thing. It's a tool. But it should only be used at schools the kid really, really wants to go to.

OP here. That’s basically it. This is a top 30 LAC. If it was an Ivy, I’d have no issue spending the money. But it’s not. We specifically looked at it because they do seem to give good merit to a lot of students—especially considering their ranking. But I know we’re giving up leverage.

I think we’re going to just do it.

“Well I’m gonna nickel and dime a school my child actually likes and would succeed at but no worries I’ll happily pay $100k a year for a school that has a 5% accept rate as long as it’s BROWN or DARTMOUTH” is wild.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you're a really good student, college admissions is very confusing these days.

For below top 50, it's pretty easy. Submit a test score if you want. Your 4.0 is good enough. A couple of ECs. No one cares about your race. Extra bonus if you can get a teacher rec that says something nice. Easy peasy. Get some merit

For top - it used to be 20, but US News made things weird - let's say 40. It's the apocalypse out there.

Be extremely strategic with the ED card. It makes no difference at MIT. To their benefit. But it also doesn't make a difference at Harvard. To their discredit. That's where they get the Jared Kushners of the world.

Always look at the data. Who are they taking and why and when.

It's game theory. Alway tell your kid it's nothing personal. It's a game. Play it as such. The ED thing is a thing. It's a tool. But it should only be used at schools the kid really, really wants to go to.

OP here. That’s basically it. This is a top 30 LAC. If it was an Ivy, I’d have no issue spending the money. But it’s not. We specifically looked at it because they do seem to give good merit to a lot of students—especially considering their ranking. But I know we’re giving up leverage.

I think we’re going to just do it.

“Well I’m gonna nickel and dime a school my child actually likes and would succeed at but no worries I’ll happily pay $100k a year for a school that has a 5% accept rate as long as it’s BROWN or DARTMOUTH” is wild.

I think the key word is “happily.” I don’t think any school is really worth that amount of money. But prestige does have some worth. How much is relative.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am OP. This was a school DC picked. And one that we specifically looked at because it met all the criteria, including a high rate of merit. But I think there was a difference in seeing…oh… 68% of non need students get merit and then realizing well…you might not be one of them—even if you are high stats for the school. It’s not a school where they really NEED applicants but nor is it an Ivy League. It’s in that middle tier. We just started having second thoughts because it is so much money. And yes. We can do it. But it’s not like a drop in the bucket. It’s still a lot.

Personally, there are some schools I would be happy to pay full price for simply because of the prestige factor. I don’t think I’m alone in that. I think the number of people who really don’t care where their money goes is pretty small.

Ultimately, we’ve decided to ED and hope DC won’t be “punished” for that because it is their first choice school, meets everything they were looking for, good location, and is at least 75% of stats. Maybe I’ll report back in December. It honestly feels good just to decide and not obsess over it.

Do report back on the results in admission and financial aid. Good luck to your kid!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^isnt doing.

Personally, I hate ED. The only time I can see it is if it was someone’s lifelong dream school.

Why do you "hate ED"? Whole point of ED is it should be your top choice or at the bare minimum one of your top choices, and definately a school you would be thrilled to attend.

It's okay if you don't have a single school that rises to the top, then you simply don't ED anywhere, like many people

ED is repugnant because it’s a tool for schools to retain wealthy students. Other very worthy students are cut out from the process entirely.

Plenty of kids apply ED that receive large amounts of Financial Aid. Plenty of people who make only $150-200K made the choice to save for their kids education/find a way to pay if they dont get FA/Merit.
Quite simply, it's a tool for schools to guarantee yield. It only really matters at schools with lower than 20% acceptance rates (most with higher give merit) and even then, fact is 80-95% of kids are simply not getting in because those are highly rejective schools.

ED wont go away, certainly not at Private schools, and even at top Public State Universities, I doubt it will go away because the schools like to be able to predict yield and this is a huge part.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^isnt doing.

Personally, I hate ED. The only time I can see it is if it was someone’s lifelong dream school.

Why do you "hate ED"? Whole point of ED is it should be your top choice or at the bare minimum one of your top choices, and definately a school you would be thrilled to attend.

It's okay if you don't have a single school that rises to the top, then you simply don't ED anywhere, like many people

ED is repugnant because it’s a tool for schools to retain wealthy students. Other very worthy students are cut out from the process entirely.

Not true--you can get an estimate of your financial aid at ED. We're far from wealthy--100k HHI in the DMV, family of 4 and we did ED because the NPC told us the college would be affordable for us.

+1. All you have to do is file the FAFSA or CSS early. But people want to believe the liberal line without doing their own research.

+1000 Largely people want to complain that their kid didn't get into a school with only a 5-10% acceptance rate (ie a highly rejective school). ED or not, it's still challenging to gain admission. For most of those schools, ED includes sports admits and legacy (if it's a thing for them) so 600 gain admission thru ED but 250-300 of those are sports admits, so the ED acceptance rate in reality is nowhere as good as it seems.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP you really need to get a grip. It’s not your life.

Yeah, one could say this if the kid was bankrolling the tuition him/herself.
Parents definitely have a say in how their money is being spent.

Parents should not "control" where their kid goes, beyond stating "we have $X for you to spend yearly over 4 years" and anything beyond that is on you to figure out how to pay.
Fact is, your kid will achieve the most if they are at a school they picked and want to attend, not at the school mommy & daddy think they should attend.

And that $X should not change across schools---if you are willing to spend $X then it should apply to Harvard as well as a school ranked ~50th IMO

PP said "have a say" not "control." But the contradiction between your statements is what caught my eye. You seem very controlling, dictating how every other family should make this decision and allot their finances.

No control at all---you feel free to do you.

However this is a discussion board and yes, I find it strange to tell your kids "hey we can come up with the money for Harvard but if you want UMich or Penn State OOS you are so out of luck". If you can afford one $80K school, why wouldn't you also be able to afford another if that is where your kid wants to attend and feels they would get the best education? And if you cannot afford $80K, then you tell your kid---we can afford $Z total for college. It's up to you as to how you spend it---if there is any left after undergrad, it's yours to use should you go to graduate school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you're a really good student, college admissions is very confusing these days.

For below top 50, it's pretty easy. Submit a test score if you want. Your 4.0 is good enough. A couple of ECs. No one cares about your race. Extra bonus if you can get a teacher rec that says something nice. Easy peasy. Get some merit

For top - it used to be 20, but US News made things weird - let's say 40. It's the apocalypse out there.

Be extremely strategic with the ED card. It makes no difference at MIT. To their benefit. But it also doesn't make a difference at Harvard. To their discredit. That's where they get the Jared Kushners of the world.

Always look at the data. Who are they taking and why and when.

It's game theory. Alway tell your kid it's nothing personal. It's a game. Play it as such. The ED thing is a thing. It's a tool. But it should only be used at schools the kid really, really wants to go to.

OP here. That’s basically it. This is a top 30 LAC. If it was an Ivy, I’d have no issue spending the money. But it’s not. We specifically looked at it because they do seem to give good merit to a lot of students—especially considering their ranking. But I know we’re giving up leverage.

I think we’re going to just do it.

“Well I’m gonna nickel and dime a school my child actually likes and would succeed at but no worries I’ll happily pay $100k a year for a school that has a 5% accept rate as long as it’s BROWN or DARTMOUTH” is wild.

+1

Either you can "afford $80k/year" or you cannot. If it's a major stretch, then you probably shouldn't be doing it for Brown or Dartmouth either....prestige is really not worth it.

I suppose the only time I'd say no to a school is if my kid was picking somewhere that the education is truly subpar---as in I'd like to pay $80K/year to attend a school ranked #456. But that won't happen because schools ranked like that are not charging $80K+/year.
But if my kid really felt their "best fit" was our state school with avg SAT of 1080 and gpa of 3.3 then I'd let them go there

[Anonymous]

Yes, please report back when you have results!

[Anonymous]

I really advise against ED unless you can easily and happily afford it!

-529 has $350-$400k in it, or
-you can easily pay $90k out of pocket each year without a significant impact
-grandparents are paying etc.

Otherwise, I would do EA!! Your son will be probably be happy at a range of schools. When you apply ED you give away all your power. Be a smart consumer, be flexible in your thinking and apply EA. If you have a well-balanced list, you’ll have great choices.

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

It sounds like you are chasing merit aid at a top 30 LAC (if I have tracked posts by the OP), and that you don’t expect need-based aid. Merit aid at top 30 LACs is limited, and I would discuss with a college counselor at your child’s school. Some of the posts here seem to be mixing and matching merit and need-based aid. Good luck. I hope both you and your child are happy come May (the process often takes longer than it used to even with ED).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you're a really good student, college admissions is very confusing these days.

For below top 50, it's pretty easy. Submit a test score if you want. Your 4.0 is good enough. A couple of ECs. No one cares about your race. Extra bonus if you can get a teacher rec that says something nice. Easy peasy. Get some merit

For top - it used to be 20, but US News made things weird - let's say 40. It's the apocalypse out there.

Be extremely strategic with the ED card. It makes no difference at MIT. To their benefit. But it also doesn't make a difference at Harvard. To their discredit. That's where they get the Jared Kushners of the world.

Always look at the data. Who are they taking and why and when.

It's game theory. Alway tell your kid it's nothing personal. It's a game. Play it as such. The ED thing is a thing. It's a tool. But it should only be used at schools the kid really, really wants to go to.

OP here. That’s basically it. This is a top 30 LAC. If it was an Ivy, I’d have no issue spending the money. But it’s not. We specifically looked at it because they do seem to give good merit to a lot of students—especially considering their ranking. But I know we’re giving up leverage.

I think we’re going to just do it.

“Well I’m gonna nickel and dime a school my child actually likes and would succeed at but no worries I’ll happily pay $100k a year for a school that has a 5% accept rate as long as it’s BROWN or DARTMOUTH” is wild.

+1

Either you can "afford $80k/year" or you cannot. If it's a major stretch, then you probably shouldn't be doing it for Brown or Dartmouth either....prestige is really not worth it.

I suppose the only time I'd say no to a school is if my kid was picking somewhere that the education is truly subpar---as in I'd like to pay $80K/year to attend a school ranked #456. But that won't happen because schools ranked like that are not charging $80K+/year.
But if my kid really felt their "best fit" was our state school with avg SAT of 1080 and gpa of 3.3 then I'd let them go there

Your kids definitely hear you when you tell them you will pay infinite dollars for YOUR choice and will pay very little for THEIR choice even though you have the same resources for both.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you're a really good student, college admissions is very confusing these days.

For below top 50, it's pretty easy. Submit a test score if you want. Your 4.0 is good enough. A couple of ECs. No one cares about your race. Extra bonus if you can get a teacher rec that says something nice. Easy peasy. Get some merit

For top - it used to be 20, but US News made things weird - let's say 40. It's the apocalypse out there.

Be extremely strategic with the ED card. It makes no difference at MIT. To their benefit. But it also doesn't make a difference at Harvard. To their discredit. That's where they get the Jared Kushners of the world.

Always look at the data. Who are they taking and why and when.

It's game theory. Alway tell your kid it's nothing personal. It's a game. Play it as such. The ED thing is a thing. It's a tool. But it should only be used at schools the kid really, really wants to go to.

OP here. That’s basically it. This is a top 30 LAC. If it was an Ivy, I’d have no issue spending the money. But it’s not. We specifically looked at it because they do seem to give good merit to a lot of students—especially considering their ranking. But I know we’re giving up leverage.

I think we’re going to just do it.

“Well I’m gonna nickel and dime a school my child actually likes and would succeed at but no worries I’ll happily pay $100k a year for a school that has a 5% accept rate as long as it’s BROWN or DARTMOUTH” is wild.

+1

Either you can "afford $80k/year" or you cannot. If it's a major stretch, then you probably shouldn't be doing it for Brown or Dartmouth either....prestige is really not worth it.

I suppose the only time I'd say no to a school is if my kid was picking somewhere that the education is truly subpar---as in I'd like to pay $80K/year to attend a school ranked #456. But that won't happen because schools ranked like that are not charging $80K+/year.
But if my kid really felt their "best fit" was our state school with avg SAT of 1080 and gpa of 3.3 then I'd let them go there

Your kids definitely hear you when you tell them you will pay infinite dollars for YOUR choice and will pay very little for THEIR choice even though you have the same resources for both.

Two colleges may have the same price tag but not the same value. I think you need to factor that in.