Is anyone giving in to ED because of anxiety?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. It is the first choice or we wouldn’t be doing it! 😂

But it’s not soooo competitive that DC might not get in RD. DC probably would with high gpa and sat scores at 75th percent. I thought there would be a good chance of some merit. But I’m not sure and I don’t know if I can take waiting until spring.

If DC did RD would probably get in and probably get some merit based on all comparisons. This is an SLAC. But who knows anymore? I hate the idea of leaving money on the table because it’s so freaking expensive, but I literally obsess over the cost vs. admission rate. We can afford full pay but we don’t feel good about it.

My two pretty worthless cents. We had the same situation last year - DC applied ED and got in. Other equally qualified kids from his school applied RD and did not get in.

But, once all the dust settled from RD acceptances, and wait lists!, and I heard the great acceptances and offers other students who waited to RD round were receiving, I had a lot of pains over it. DC is happy at his first choice school but I think would have been happy many other places, too, so I regret pushing ED.

+1
Similar story here. DC very happy but I am wondering if he would have been equally happy somewhere where we got ome merit aid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My older kid applied ED bc his first choice was a school that had a 50% acceptance rate in ED and a 10% acceptance rate in RD. He still got merit but I think if he’d gotten in RD he would’ve gotten more merit. We just didn’t want to take the risk he wouldn’t get in. Sometimes it still bothers me a little bit but the school has been so great for him and we can afford it.

OP here. Wow. That’s a really big difference. I basically think this is what’s likely to happen, and while it will probably bother me a little, that will be ok. I admit I will be upset if DC gets nothing because I know they are a competitive student. But who knows. Maybe they wont even get in!

This is a top 30 LAC.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you're a really good student, college admissions is very confusing these days.

For below top 50, it's pretty easy. Submit a test score if you want. Your 4.0 is good enough. A couple of ECs. No one cares about your race. Extra bonus if you can get a teacher rec that says something nice. Easy peasy. Get some merit

For top - it used to be 20, but US News made things weird - let's say 40. It's the apocalypse out there.

Be extremely strategic with the ED card. It makes no difference at MIT. To their benefit. But it also doesn't make a difference at Harvard. To their discredit. That's where they get the Jared Kushners of the world.

Always look at the data. Who are they taking and why and when.

It's game theory. Alway tell your kid it's nothing personal. It's a game. Play it as such. The ED thing is a thing. It's a tool. But it should only be used at schools the kid really, really wants to go to.

OP here. That’s basically it. This is a top 30 LAC. If it was an Ivy, I’d have no issue spending the money. But it’s not. We specifically looked at it because they do seem to give good merit to a lot of students—especially considering their ranking. But I know we’re giving up leverage.

I think we’re going to just do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op, what is the ED and RD acceptance rate for the school? If TD is below 20 percent, it is worth considering ED if this is your child’s first choice and if the ED rate is a good bit higher.

This is great advice. If acceptance rate is below 20% your kids grade and scores could be fantastic and there is still a very good chance they will be rejected.

[Anonymous]

Because of so much uncertainty, randomness, and luck factors.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^isnt doing.

Personally, I hate ED. The only time I can see it is if it was someone’s lifelong dream school.

Why do you "hate ED"? Whole point of ED is it should be your top choice or at the bare minimum one of your top choices, and definately a school you would be thrilled to attend.

It's okay if you don't have a single school that rises to the top, then you simply don't ED anywhere, like many people

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP you really need to get a grip. It’s not your life.

Yeah, one could say this if the kid was bankrolling the tuition him/herself.
Parents definitely have a say in how their money is being spent.

Parents should not "control" where their kid goes, beyond stating "we have $X for you to spend yearly over 4 years" and anything beyond that is on you to figure out how to pay.
Fact is, your kid will achieve the most if they are at a school they picked and want to attend, not at the school mommy & daddy think they should attend.

And that $X should not change across schools---if you are willing to spend $X then it should apply to Harvard as well as a school ranked ~50th IMO

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think there is a “dream school” or best fit among all colleges. How could a 18 year old know which school will be the best fit without personal experience with professors, roommates, class registration rules, class rigor, work load, career guidance , etc? In fact, I believe for any kid there are at least a dozen school would fit. If there is one you like, go ahead and ED.

There are definately "Best Fit" and yes your 17/18 yo can recognize that. My kid ED to their top choice (T10 school) that is my alma mater and yes the kid loved the school but ultimately I think where they actually ended up was their "best fit". I could tell that from the moment they first visited the school. Both visits I saw my kid light up with excitement, at a level I did not see at any other school---they just clicked with the professors they visited, the staff they talked to and the students who gave the tours. I could just see that my kid would fit in with the students we saw walking around campus on the tours.

Sure there were another 4-5 schools they would have been very happy at and done well at, but IMO my kid ended up at the place that is actually best for them. And meeting their group of 10+ friends at the end of freshman year confirmed that they are in the right place.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you're a really good student, college admissions is very confusing these days.

For below top 50, it's pretty easy. Submit a test score if you want. Your 4.0 is good enough. A couple of ECs. No one cares about your race. Extra bonus if you can get a teacher rec that says something nice. Easy peasy. Get some merit

For top - it used to be 20, but US News made things weird - let's say 40. It's the apocalypse out there.

Be extremely strategic with the ED card. It makes no difference at MIT. To their benefit. But it also doesn't make a difference at Harvard. To their discredit. That's where they get the Jared Kushners of the world.

Always look at the data. Who are they taking and why and when.

It's game theory. Alway tell your kid it's nothing personal. It's a game. Play it as such. The ED thing is a thing. It's a tool. But it should only be used at schools the kid really, really wants to go to.

OP here. That’s basically it. This is a top 30 LAC. If it was an Ivy, I’d have no issue spending the money. But it’s not. We specifically looked at it because they do seem to give good merit to a lot of students—especially considering their ranking. But I know we’re giving up leverage.

I think we’re going to just do it.

I think the idea of merit as leverage is misguided--esp. at a top 30 LAC. They have enough qualifying candidates, they aren't using merit aid as a lure to keep any particular one in the fold--rather they use pattern of offering merit aid to encourage people to apply. They also want to encourage ED so they aren't going to disadvantage those students in awarding merit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^isnt doing.

Personally, I hate ED. The only time I can see it is if it was someone’s lifelong dream school.

Why do you "hate ED"? Whole point of ED is it should be your top choice or at the bare minimum one of your top choices, and definately a school you would be thrilled to attend.

It's okay if you don't have a single school that rises to the top, then you simply don't ED anywhere, like many people

ED is repugnant because it’s a tool for schools to retain wealthy students. Other very worthy students are cut out from the process entirely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^isnt doing.

Personally, I hate ED. The only time I can see it is if it was someone’s lifelong dream school.

Why do you "hate ED"? Whole point of ED is it should be your top choice or at the bare minimum one of your top choices, and definately a school you would be thrilled to attend.

It's okay if you don't have a single school that rises to the top, then you simply don't ED anywhere, like many people

ED is repugnant because it’s a tool for schools to retain wealthy students. Other very worthy students are cut out from the process entirely.

Not true--you can get an estimate of your financial aid at ED. We're far from wealthy--100k HHI in the DMV, family of 4 and we did ED because the NPC told us the college would be affordable for us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I’m aware we are fortunate although we have one child intentionally and have been saving since they were very little. I’m driving a 2011 car.

There’s not much point in talking about the specifics of the school because it all comes down to how much risk we’re willing to take. Fundamentally, I hate ED and the whole college game, and if I had another kid, I would do it differently. This school happened to match what DC was looking for. With older eyes, do I think DC could be happy other days places. Yes. But isn’t this what we were saving for all those years? It’s just SO MUCH when it’s right in front of me. It makes me kind of sick.

I just wanted to commiserate with other parents who were really stressed out about this process. I’m well aware that it isn’t healthy, and if I could let it go I would.

One way to let it go is to actively reduce your budget to in-state.

There are personal reasons we aren’t really looking at in state, but trust me that I think about it constantly.

I can understand the hesitation if you're in DC or MD but I think VA has viable options. (Not to start a riot about UVA versus UMD, dear god I've seen enough of those on here).

[Anonymous]

I think ED gets a bad rap (especially on DCUM). Somehow there is a misconception that applying ED will allow a student entry into a program where they may not otherwise be a strong candidate. Also, there are misconceptions regarding financial aid with ED programs. ED students get financial aid offers (including merit aid) and can negotiate with the financial aid office re: proposed awards; you can turn down an ED offer if you cannot afford it. Two of my kids applied ED to programs where they were certain they wanted to attend. My older child was very happy to have their decision made and to avoid the stress and frenzy of the regular decision process. My younger one ended up turning down the ED offer due to financial reasons but took an EA offer with a strong merit aid package.

The ED choice shouldnt be made from a place of anxiety. I think we all do better to let go of the name-brand/T20 competition and focus more on helping our kids choose schools that are a good fit for them (not who parents want their kids to be) and are affordable for the family

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^isnt doing.

Personally, I hate ED. The only time I can see it is if it was someone’s lifelong dream school.

Why do you "hate ED"? Whole point of ED is it should be your top choice or at the bare minimum one of your top choices, and definately a school you would be thrilled to attend.

It's okay if you don't have a single school that rises to the top, then you simply don't ED anywhere, like many people

ED is repugnant because it’s a tool for schools to retain wealthy students. Other very worthy students are cut out from the process entirely.

Not true--you can get an estimate of your financial aid at ED. We're far from wealthy--100k HHI in the DMV, family of 4 and we did ED because the NPC told us the college would be affordable for us.

+1. All you have to do is file the FAFSA or CSS early. But people want to believe the liberal line without doing their own research.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^isnt doing.

Personally, I hate ED. The only time I can see it is if it was someone’s lifelong dream school.

Why do you "hate ED"? Whole point of ED is it should be your top choice or at the bare minimum one of your top choices, and definately a school you would be thrilled to attend.

It's okay if you don't have a single school that rises to the top, then you simply don't ED anywhere, like many people

ED is repugnant because it’s a tool for schools to retain wealthy students. Other very worthy students are cut out from the process entirely.

Not true--you can get an estimate of your financial aid at ED. We're far from wealthy--100k HHI in the DMV, family of 4 and we did ED because the NPC told us the college would be affordable for us.

+1. All you have to do is file the FAFSA or CSS early. But people want to believe the liberal line without doing their own research.

This isn't a "liberal line"== It's just a difference of opinion on a policy. Everything isn't neatly divided.