Is anyone giving in to ED because of anxiety?

[Anonymous]

I had this whole plan for the college admissions process with my first child. We are full pay and specifically looked at good schools that offered merit. We were planning on doing ED at one of those schools that I was pretty sure would give some merit aid, but now that the date is getting closer, I’m not sure DC will get merit because of ED since there’s more incentive in RD.

But my anxiety is getting so bad, I don’t know what I’m going to be like if DC does RD and we have to wait until spring to hear. We could be leaving money on the table, but my anxiety has become terrible.

Anyone else in this place too? I keep going back and forth. We don’t feel good about full pay but counselors tell us how competitive things really are, and I just want it to hopefully be over if we apply ED. Then I hate the whole process I’ve bought into.

[Anonymous]

Missing from this conversation is whether the ED is your kid’s first choice. If not, don’t apply ED. If it is, be prepared to send them without merit.

[Anonymous]

I could have written this and am following. We are capable of full pay but hate the idea of leaving money on the table, but my DC would have a much better chance of acceptance as ED

[Anonymous]

OP, you really need to back down. Your senior should be making the decisions at this point, subject to your budget.
Seriously, go smoke a joint or something.

[Anonymous]

We are doing ED only because '22 sibling is already at the school, so we know what ballpark aid will be for '24 if she gets in. But, this is need-based aid. '22 only did EA and RD because we really needed to compare offers, but it was so stressful and knocked her out of the running for a few SLACs that are ED heavy. But, she did end up with choices, some really great ones at that. Most schools offered only need-based aid, but one merit-based was contacting her about additional scholarships as she weighed choices in Spring. There was a range of considerations with cost and programs,
so going RD was best for us then. But, she had to be really open and not get set on anything. It's so hard to say what the right move is!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Missing from this conversation is whether the ED is your kid’s first choice. If not, don’t apply ED. If it is, be prepared to send them without merit.

I just wrote the rambly post above, but this is a far more concise version of what I was getting at!

[Anonymous]

There's definitely a trade-off for those chasing merit aid, including a longer wait with more uncertainty. If you can afford the certainty of ED with the possibility of no merit aid, it might be worth it for a first choice school.

[Anonymous]

Yes. It is the first choice or we wouldn’t be doing it! 😂

But it’s not soooo competitive that DC might not get in RD. DC probably would with high gpa and sat scores at 75th percent. I thought there would be a good chance of some merit. But I’m not sure and I don’t know if I can take waiting until spring.

If DC did RD would probably get in and probably get some merit based on all comparisons. This is an SLAC. But who knows anymore? I hate the idea of leaving money on the table because it’s so freaking expensive, but I literally obsess over the cost vs. admission rate. We can afford full pay but we don’t feel good about it.

[Anonymous]

OP you really need to get a grip. It’s not your life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, you really need to back down. Your senior should be making the decisions at this point, subject to your budget.
Seriously, go smoke a joint or something.

Well, that’s kind of it. We can technically afford it but we don’t feel good about it. Maybe DC would get no merit. Maybe 12k a year. Maybe 20k. 20k in savings would be a lot. But who knows? The school says there is merit money for ED and RD but let’s face it….way more chance RD.

But the waiting might kill me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP you really need to get a grip. It’s not your life.

It’s my money! This is such a weird response. I’m not talking about choosing a school for my kid. I’m talking about the financial risk of ED vs. waiting it and seeing what happens.

[Anonymous]

ED had really messed people up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP you really need to get a grip. It’s not your life.

Sure it is. It's her savings that she could be using on her life. Parents should absolutely be a part of financial considerations and hopefully offering insights and wisdom on other college considerations.

Go to bed. You sound like a cranky biddy or a teen who needs to get up early for school.

[Anonymous]

It’s like betting on horses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP you really need to get a grip. It’s not your life.

Sure it is. It's her savings that she could be using on her life. Parents should absolutely be a part of financial considerations and hopefully offering insights and wisdom on other college considerations.

Go to bed. You sound like a cranky biddy or a teen who needs to get up early for school.

OPs “anxiety” is way out of control