Disruptive group of students: what to do?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP said she can afford private.

So if I can’t afford private, my child is sentenced to 12 years in the mental institutions that public schools are becoming these days?

Be careful. Your prejudices are showing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It will get worse in middle school, OP. My child at a highly regarded W middle school has witnessed numerous fights and once got hit by a chair because she happened to be near where a fight broke out. Kids disrupt class regularly by throwing things like trash, yelling things at the teacher, wrestling in the middle of class.

HS might be better if your child is in higher level or AP classes or worse if your child is in regular classes.

This is public school in 2023. I wish kids would be more respectful to teachers in general but the problem is not kids with special needs. Most kids with special needs are not disruptive. The kid who knocked over the chair that hit DD does not have special needs. She is lucky to not have been injured. It's a larger problem of youth in our society and their attitudes towards education, teaching and authority.

Depressing to hear, but at least I can say I’ve been warned. I agree that not all special needs children are disruptive. There are other SN kids in the class that don’t have behavioral issues, they are probably hurt the most by this situation.

The problem is schools don’t enforce any norms of acceptable behavior and they seem to be paralyzed in correcting disruptions when they occur. For sure this has multiple causes that include teacher inexperience, policy issues of making it difficult to discipline students (on IEP or not), school culture like the failed restorative justice practices, socioeconomic demographics of the student body etc.

Going to private is an option because they select their own students so you buy into the privilege of having like minded classmates, not unlike buying a house in a desirable neighborhood. Besides that, I guess all there’s left is to complain along other parents hoping the administrators will do something.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP I think the reason you are getting these kinds of reactions is because your posts seem to be written by someone who lacks... empathy. Perhaps if you are trying to get advice and help your child you might try to look at things from other perspectives as well as yours.

You might want to look up Theory of Mind.

It seems you have a child who is disruptive and might have special educational needs and you want to provide a counter point of view. You should be honest and transparent about it instead of posing as the impartial observer.

I get that having classmates and their parents complain about your child and asking for disciplinary action and removal from the class is hurtful. At the same time you need to see the other point of view, some behavior really is unacceptable and has to be dealt with, coping mechanisms need to be taught, otherwise you’re setting your child for failure later in life.

Also, where’s your empathy for the other students and their parents? As posters have said here, their children’s wellbeing and learning is impacted. Parents decide that the disruptive behavior is so damaging to their kids that they pay tens of thousands to get them out of that environment, even when it’s a hardship for the family. That’s not insignificant or a mere nuisance.

You are free to advocate for your child, that certainly is understandable. But allow other parents to do the same for their own kids, don’t shame them for lacking empathy, they are just anxious, minimize how they are hurt etc.

Theory of Mind, OP, look it up. I say this with kindness. Assuming anyone who tells you you lack empathy of doing so because they have a secret child with special needs is not a conclusion a normal person would do. That you think you're in the right here is disturbing.

What’s your motivation for being on this thread then? How is this relevant to you personally?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP I think the reason you are getting these kinds of reactions is because your posts seem to be written by someone who lacks... empathy. Perhaps if you are trying to get advice and help your child you might try to look at things from other perspectives as well as yours.

You might want to look up Theory of Mind.

It seems you have a child who is disruptive and might have special educational needs and you want to provide a counter point of view. You should be honest and transparent about it instead of posing as the impartial observer.

I get that having classmates and their parents complain about your child and asking for disciplinary action and removal from the class is hurtful. At the same time you need to see the other point of view, some behavior really is unacceptable and has to be dealt with, coping mechanisms need to be taught, otherwise you’re setting your child for failure later in life.

Also, where’s your empathy for the other students and their parents? As posters have said here, their children’s wellbeing and learning is impacted. Parents decide that the disruptive behavior is so damaging to their kids that they pay tens of thousands to get them out of that environment, even when it’s a hardship for the family. That’s not insignificant or a mere nuisance.

You are free to advocate for your child, that certainly is understandable. But allow other parents to do the same for their own kids, don’t shame them for lacking empathy, they are just anxious, minimize how they are hurt etc.

Theory of Mind, OP, look it up. I say this with kindness. Assuming anyone who tells you you lack empathy of doing so because they have a secret child with special needs is not a conclusion a normal person would do. That you think you're in the right here is disturbing.

I said you have a disruptive child that might have special needs, because this example is discussed in the thread. The SN was mentioned in the context of school policy that make it harder to discipline those students. Nobody here is equating special needs with being disruptive, except you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's early in the school year, they need to split those kids up and move them into different classrooms. We had a year like that and it was a complete disaster. If they won't, you need to get your kid moved to a different classroom. Four students is too many for even the best teacher to handle, and despite what the administration claims, they will not be able to get the classroom under control as it is.

Oh goodness. There’s 0% chance that even the best teacher could handle 4 troublemakers who are friends. Please contact the administration. Be the parent who’s concerned about your child, not mad at the teacher. That teacher is probably not going to make it through the year if parents don’t support her and ask that the group be broken up.

[Anonymous]

If you want a decent learning environment for your children apparently you’re prejudiced because equity and you need to do the mature thing and pay for private. Or work with the teacher, how? They’re are also sick of it! Good grief!

[Anonymous]

Nothing you can do about it. If teachers need help it means they should be fired. This was the vibe in mcps. Also the reports are shunned because the data looks bad

[Anonymous]

One year one of my kids had a ES class with a group of disruptive kids--principal split them up after parent complaints. Better for everyone around--including the disruptive kids. It was just bad group dynamics.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It will get worse in middle school, OP. My child at a highly regarded W middle school has witnessed numerous fights and once got hit by a chair because she happened to be near where a fight broke out. Kids disrupt class regularly by throwing things like trash, yelling things at the teacher, wrestling in the middle of class.

HS might be better if your child is in higher level or AP classes or worse if your child is in regular classes.

This is public school in 2023. I wish kids would be more respectful to teachers in general but the problem is not kids with special needs. Most kids with special needs are not disruptive. The kid who knocked over the chair that hit DD does not have special needs. She is lucky to not have been injured. It's a larger problem of youth in our society and their attitudes towards education, teaching and authority.

+1 Consequences are needed.

To those suggesting private school; this happens in private school, too, doesn't it? If the parents are big donors, they will not move or intervene either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Private school will fence off your child from these issues. It just depends how high it needs to be and if you can afford it.

Private school teacher here... nope, admin will not help at all. They want to keep parents happy, which means kids are not longer held accountable. And when they are, parents will complain that it the teacher is being unfair, targeting their child, and/or cannot manage their classroom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Private school will fence off your child from these issues. It just depends how high it needs to be and if you can afford it.

Private school teacher here... nope, admin will not help at all. They want to keep parents happy, which means kids are not longer held accountable. And when they are, parents will complain that it the teacher is being unfair, targeting their child, and/or cannot manage their classroom.

+1
Our worst bullying issues were in a private school--by a kid the school didn't want to lose.

[Anonymous]

You need to go private.

[Anonymous]

OP. Another teacher left since the last post and the principal stepped in to teach that class because there was nobody available. There was a meeting with the parents and the administration is looking for a replacement currently and told the parents the school is interviewing candidates and scheduled some visits.

They did some things to engage the students better, like a classroom currency, classroom jobs and it seems to get better, but I don’t see this working with older students.

We’re starting to visit school for the next year the following week.

[Anonymous]

What is a “W middle school”? Someone references it in above posts but I cannot find what that means.

[Anonymous]

Have your child moved to another classroom based on the fact that one of the kids has a harassment complaint from you already from last year.
Also if the school is Title 1, these things are bound to happen (though a regular school isn’t a guarantee as well).