Disruptive group of students: what to do?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP. I agreed it’s not harassment yet, but the moment any of those kids screams directly in my child’s face, 100% I’ll do something about it. I usually will just write an email to the teacher, and if it repeats I’ll sent another one cc’ing the principal, letting them know I’m dead serious about escalating through a formal process. I’ve never had to do that, and to their credit, whatever issue my child had got resolved.

In this case there were at least 6 families complaining and threatening to leave the school which might have had some effect. The worst offender was missing school for the entire week so it’s possible disciplinary action was put in place. They also said there’s a new process for responding to class disruptions, we’ll have to wait and see how it works.

The suggestion to keep complaining to let them know you’re not ok with the situation is spot on. The teacher also needs backing to take action, she hinted that more can be done if parents complain and cc the principal.

If a kid screams in your child's face once it's harassment? Say what? Keep making your threats OP and please file that harassment report and escalate through a "formal process." What is stopping you? What's with all the threats and not doing anything except posting on here and calling other posters names?

Absolutely I’m not going to let someone scream in my child’s face! Are you ok if that happens to your child? Then I’d have to question your sanity and your fitness as a parent. From what you’re posting here it sounds like you already failed at parenting on many levels, including teaching the importance of being respectful to others and following accepted norms of behavior.

[Anonymous]

“ Anyone who gossips about kids with IEPs has no class. That is none of your business and it's completely false that students can't be disciplined for a disability. No school would ever have such a document.”

If kids are being so disruptive then it would be my business because it impacts my kid’s experience. And yes some schools have discipline rules that say if it relates to the disability you can’t punish them - FCPS does. This is why we need big changes to how we deal with kids struggling with these issues. It’s absolutely out of control and just dumped on teachers.

[Anonymous]

Disruptive students often face challenges at home, either neglect or straight up abuse. Likely they experience someone screaming at them at home, for them it’s the norm and don’t realize this is inappropriate behavior. The ‘imbecile’ poster from up thread shows traits of abusive behavior: minimization of abuse (it’s just loud kids), shifting the blame (you and the kid have anxiety), gaslighting (it’s normal etc), outbursts of anger.

Of course you don’t diagnose abuse over an anonymous internet forum, but there’s a lot of red flags and raised eyebrows. In real life I’d look close on how that person interacts with (her) children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is there any way you can swing private school or even private online school for a year? I'm a teacher and can tell you there's probably no way the school will get this under control if two teachers in the grade level have already left. That means the remaining teachers are doing extra work and most likely burning out fast.

Best advice I’ve read and what I would suggest. We pulled our son out of public after 5th after watching this type of behavior go on almost every year of elementary. I will tell you by 5th grade it had started to adversely affect my son who was otherwise calm, outgoing and pretty tolerable. It’s a nightmare to have to hear your child come home everyday telling you about the same students and the amount of energy it takes away from teaching and God knows how these teachers do it day in and day out with no where to turn! I was told time and time again by admins it was being handled. Nothing was being handled… every day they’d be right back in the classroom creating the same chaos. It’s public so I get they have to educate the children or try to but in the end your child is suffering from it. I’m sorry you’re finding this to be the case. It’s a terrible position to be in as a parent to have to decide how to handle it and, honestly, I’m bitter the schools admins and policies can’t handle it better. We couldn’t exactly afford private but felt we had no choice. The middle school seemed worse than elementary. It was constantly in the news last year.

[Anonymous]

There are a lot of red flags in OP's posts that suggest she is an unstable, insecure, obsessive and angry parent. I think you need to calm down, stop the name calling and actually assess why you are acting the way you are.

Are you worried about something related to your child? Is she struggling with academics or social issues? Is it possible she might have an undiagnosed special need?

Look at your own childhood and life. Are you in a happy marriage? Do you like your job?

What I'm seeing is someone who is targeting other children in an unreasonable way given that they are children and possibly have special needs.

There are many other posters who have dealt with a similar situation in more mature ways like the families who moved to private or worked with the school collaboratively to help the teacher.

FWIW, we are not strangers to the chaos of some public school classrooms and moved one of our children to private because being in that kind of environment was not good for them.

[Anonymous]

OP I think the reason you are getting these kinds of reactions is because your posts seem to be written by someone who lacks... empathy. Perhaps if you are trying to get advice and help your child you might try to look at things from other perspectives as well as yours.

You might want to look up Theory of Mind.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are a lot of red flags in OP's posts that suggest she is an unstable, insecure, obsessive and angry parent. I think you need to calm down, stop the name calling and actually assess why you are acting the way you are.

Are you worried about something related to your child? Is she struggling with academics or social issues? Is it possible she might have an undiagnosed special need?

Look at your own childhood and life. Are you in a happy marriage? Do you like your job?

What I'm seeing is someone who is targeting other children in an unreasonable way given that they are children and possibly have special needs.

There are many other posters who have dealt with a similar situation in more mature ways like the families who moved to private or worked with the school collaboratively to help the teacher.

FWIW, we are not strangers to the chaos of some public school classrooms and moved one of our children to private because being in that kind of environment was not good for them.

Psychology 101 rears its ugly head once again.

[Anonymous]

I would insist my child be transferred out of the class or the offending kids be transferred out. I wouldn't wait for anything. It's already been happening and the school needs to do something about it yesterday.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP I think the reason you are getting these kinds of reactions is because your posts seem to be written by someone who lacks... empathy. Perhaps if you are trying to get advice and help your child you might try to look at things from other perspectives as well as yours.

You might want to look up Theory of Mind.

It seems you have a child who is disruptive and might have special educational needs and you want to provide a counter point of view. You should be honest and transparent about it instead of posing as the impartial observer.

I get that having classmates and their parents complain about your child and asking for disciplinary action and removal from the class is hurtful. At the same time you need to see the other point of view, some behavior really is unacceptable and has to be dealt with, coping mechanisms need to be taught, otherwise you’re setting your child for failure later in life.

Also, where’s your empathy for the other students and their parents? As posters have said here, their children’s wellbeing and learning is impacted. Parents decide that the disruptive behavior is so damaging to their kids that they pay tens of thousands to get them out of that environment, even when it’s a hardship for the family. That’s not insignificant or a mere nuisance.

You are free to advocate for your child, that certainly is understandable. But allow other parents to do the same for their own kids, don’t shame them for lacking empathy, they are just anxious, minimize how they are hurt etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are a lot of red flags in OP's posts that suggest she is an unstable, insecure, obsessive and angry parent. I think you need to calm down, stop the name calling and actually assess why you are acting the way you are.

Are you worried about something related to your child? Is she struggling with academics or social issues? Is it possible she might have an undiagnosed special need?

Look at your own childhood and life. Are you in a happy marriage? Do you like your job?

What I'm seeing is someone who is targeting other children in an unreasonable way given that they are children and possibly have special needs.

There are many other posters who have dealt with a similar situation in more mature ways like the families who moved to private or worked with the school collaboratively to help the teacher.

FWIW, we are not strangers to the chaos of some public school classrooms and moved one of our children to private because being in that kind of environment was not good for them.

Wouldn’t it be lovely if families would just behave maturely and shell out $50k a year to put their kids in private when the public school turns into a zoo? Wtf?!!!

[Anonymous]

OP said she can afford private.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP I think the reason you are getting these kinds of reactions is because your posts seem to be written by someone who lacks... empathy. Perhaps if you are trying to get advice and help your child you might try to look at things from other perspectives as well as yours.

You might want to look up Theory of Mind.

It seems you have a child who is disruptive and might have special educational needs and you want to provide a counter point of view. You should be honest and transparent about it instead of posing as the impartial observer.

I get that having classmates and their parents complain about your child and asking for disciplinary action and removal from the class is hurtful. At the same time you need to see the other point of view, some behavior really is unacceptable and has to be dealt with, coping mechanisms need to be taught, otherwise you’re setting your child for failure later in life.

Also, where’s your empathy for the other students and their parents? As posters have said here, their children’s wellbeing and learning is impacted. Parents decide that the disruptive behavior is so damaging to their kids that they pay tens of thousands to get them out of that environment, even when it’s a hardship for the family. That’s not insignificant or a mere nuisance.

You are free to advocate for your child, that certainly is understandable. But allow other parents to do the same for their own kids, don’t shame them for lacking empathy, they are just anxious, minimize how they are hurt etc.

Why are you so crazy OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP I think the reason you are getting these kinds of reactions is because your posts seem to be written by someone who lacks... empathy. Perhaps if you are trying to get advice and help your child you might try to look at things from other perspectives as well as yours.

You might want to look up Theory of Mind.

It seems you have a child who is disruptive and might have special educational needs and you want to provide a counter point of view. You should be honest and transparent about it instead of posing as the impartial observer.

I get that having classmates and their parents complain about your child and asking for disciplinary action and removal from the class is hurtful. At the same time you need to see the other point of view, some behavior really is unacceptable and has to be dealt with, coping mechanisms need to be taught, otherwise you’re setting your child for failure later in life.

Also, where’s your empathy for the other students and their parents? As posters have said here, their children’s wellbeing and learning is impacted. Parents decide that the disruptive behavior is so damaging to their kids that they pay tens of thousands to get them out of that environment, even when it’s a hardship for the family. That’s not insignificant or a mere nuisance.

You are free to advocate for your child, that certainly is understandable. But allow other parents to do the same for their own kids, don’t shame them for lacking empathy, they are just anxious, minimize how they are hurt etc.

Theory of Mind, OP, look it up. I say this with kindness. Assuming anyone who tells you you lack empathy of doing so because they have a secret child with special needs is not a conclusion a normal person would do. That you think you're in the right here is disturbing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP said she can afford private.

So if I can’t afford private, my child is sentenced to 12 years in the mental institutions that public schools are becoming these days?

[Anonymous]

It will get worse in middle school, OP. My child at a highly regarded W middle school has witnessed numerous fights and once got hit by a chair because she happened to be near where a fight broke out. Kids disrupt class regularly by throwing things like trash, yelling things at the teacher, wrestling in the middle of class.

HS might be better if your child is in higher level or AP classes or worse if your child is in regular classes.

This is public school in 2023. I wish kids would be more respectful to teachers in general but the problem is not kids with special needs. Most kids with special needs are not disruptive. The kid who knocked over the chair that hit DD does not have special needs. She is lucky to not have been injured. It's a larger problem of youth in our society and their attitudes towards education, teaching and authority.